“Umm, what?”
Roman gives a halfhearted laugh. “Exactly.”
“We were talking about the funeral,” Miranda explains.
“Oh. What about it?”
“Hazel’s parents have agreed to let the school have a memorial service in the auditorium, but the actual funeral is going to be held in Atlanta. Her dad is going to give the eulogy himself,” Rome says.
“Are you all going?” I ask, wondering if I can get my situation handled by the time the funeral happens.
Roman smiles. “Yeah, we were thinking of driving out together. It’s about eight hours, so we could make a road trip of it.”
“You too, Nolan?”
“I think so. I can’t guarantee to go to the viewing, but I’m going to try my damnedest. She deserves so much more than that from me, after the way I treated her,” Nolan replies, hanging his head.
He’s ashamed of his behavior, but no one really blames him. Lexi wouldn’t have taken no for an answer, and it was all a set up. Smart people know better than to try to take Hazel’s boyfriend away.
Nine
I had a lengthy conversation with my student advisor this morning, explaining just a few things about my situation. We agreed that I would finish my remaining classes online, and all my professors okayed it. Which meant tomorrow, I would be moving out of the dorm. I need to tell Roman, especially since he’s my roommate, but there’s something I need to handle first, something far more important than me transferring.
It took me an hour to find someone who knew her new address, but I finally managed to pry it out of Claire, a friend of Destiny’s. The place is an address right on the beach, which is nice, but this isn’t a social call. I drive down Ocean Boulevard with the intent of giving Cheyanne a piece of my mind.
I park in the designated lot and then make my way to the elevator, taking it up to their floor. I knock on their door and wait patiently for one of them to answer.
When Lexi pulls open the door, I’m in shock. Gone is the put-together, bad-attitude, know-it-all girl I know. In her place is a sobbing mess with mascara-streaked face. She looks like she hasn’t slept in days. Guilt must be eating away at her.
“Cheyanne’s not here,” she mutters.
I’ve never seen Lexi in a t-shirt or shorts and she’s wearing both. The tee is well-worn and faded while the shorts look like a pair of men’s basketball shorts.
“When will she be back?” I ask.
“Never. She’s back at the dorms.” She moves to close the door and I step forward, putting my foot in the way.
“What do you mean she’s back at the dorms?” I ask.
“Not now, Audric,” she whispers, her eyes filling with tears.
“Yes, now. Talk to me,” I demand, needing to know what the hell is going on. I push on the door and she releases it, letting me in.
She turns away and I follow her into the living room of the apartment. It’s actually really nice with an amazing view. I can’t imagine why Cheyanne would turn this down.
“What happened?” I ask as Lexi sits cross-legged on the couch.
She glares at me. “I kicked Cheyanne out.”
What? “I don’t understand.”
“What is there to understand? Cheyanne and Destiny were plotting against my step-sister, hoping they could get her to leave school, and it worked. They got what they wanted. And now my mother and step-father hate me. They blame me for Hazel’s death. Apparently, in lieu of a note, Hazel sent an email with a very revealing video of what happened the morning of her death. They’ve disowned me, even though I had nothing to do with it.”
“What video?” I ask, almost afraid of the answer.
“Here, let me show you,” she says and then grabs her phone. She messes with it for a second and then hands it to me.
I press play.
It takes me a second to process what I’m seeing. The video is being taken upside down, as if someone hit record and then put their hand down to waist level. Everything is clear though. Cheyanne and Destiny approach, both with evil smirks on their faces. Trailing behind them is Lexi, who looks ashamed to even be there.
Cheyanne and Des hurl insults at Hazel, who doesn’t bother to defend herself. When she finally speaks, it’s only to accept what they say.
“I know I deserve this,” she admits. This only launches Cheyanne further into a tirade about reality and being a good person.
It goes on for ten minutes, with Hazel saying nothing. They walk away finally tired of berating her and then Hazel turns the camera to herself. Her makeup is running and she’s crying silently. She takes a deep breath.
“I’m not going to ruin anyone’s life anymore. This is my promise.” The video cuts out.
I suck in a deep breath. “Who did she send this to?”
“My mother and step-father. Luckily, they didn’t feel it was necessary to spread it around. They only sent it to me. They wanted me to know I killed her.”
“You didn’t kill her, Lex. This video proves it. You didn’t say a word to her the whole time,” I start.
“I didn’t stop them, either. I’m a bitch, but Hazel and I were on an even playing field. We both knew exactly who the other was. And that’s why we tolerated each other. But this… This is bullying in the worst possible way and I did nothing!” She drops her head to her hands, sobbing uncontrollably.
I move to sit next to her. “The fact that you’re remorseful says so much about you, Lexi. You’re strong and not everyone can stand up to bullies. Cheyanne and Destiny are responsible for what happened to Hazel, as far as I’m concerned. They were the ones who tortured her. And if I had to guess, this wasn’t the first time it happened, right?”
“No, it wasn’t. I wasn’t there every time, either. But whenever it happened, I kept my mouth shut. I was afraid if I stood up for her, they would come after me,” she admits.
It was typical, really. And so, so sad. I wanted to weep for Lexi, but she was already weeping enough for both of us. I put my hand under her chin and turned her head toward me. When she finally turned her eyes to mine, I gave her a small smile.
“Don’t blame yourself for what happened, Lex. Hazel made her choice. And even though we don’t like it, we can’t change it. The only thing we can do now is beg forgiveness for the way we treated her. Even if we weren’t as severe in our actions as Cheyanne and Destiny, we still owe her an apology. She deserves that much from us.”
“I want to go to the funeral in Atlanta, but my mother forbade me from coming. She said if I show up, they’re going to call the cops,” she sobs, leaning her head on my shoulder.
I try to console her, rubbing my hand over her back. “It’s okay. We’ll figure something out,” I promise, knowing that I need to find a way to get Lexi to the funeral so she can make her peace with Hazel.
Ten
The next three days are a whirlwind. Between moving out of the dorms and figuring out these new online classes, I’m stressed, with hardly any time at all to think about the tragedy that has struck our school.
On Friday, the school has it’s memorial service and I attend with Lexi. I explained to Roman, Miranda and Nolan about what truly happened, and although they’ve accepted Lexi, I can tell they’re still leery. I definitely didn’t tell them about the video. The service is touching, with Lexi giving a short speech about her step-sister.
At the end of the service, Lexi stands back up to the mic. “I have one more thing for all of you to see. Many of you knew Hazel as a rumor-starter, someone who would reveal the truth about any situation, including her own. Her brutal honesty is something I’ve always admired about her, even if that honesty pointed out the worst in us, or even herself. And now, I’d like to share with you the truth about her death. Hazel didn’t just up and decide to kill herself. She was coerced, and I think it’s only fitting that the deviants have their dirty laundry aired. Including mine.” She hits a button on a remote and behind her, a video projects.
I wish she’d tal
ked to me about this first, but I understand her need to get it off her chest. She needs the closure. Every single person in the auditorium is silent, watching, ensnared by the video. When it ends, all eyes turn to Cheyanne and Destiny, who are sitting together at the back of the room. They obviously haven’t seen the video, either, which makes the shocked looks on their faces even more comical.
They try to leave, but security asks them to remain in their seats while students and teachers file out. Each person in the room stares the two of them down as they exit, letting them know what everyone thinks about them.
Several people walk up to the stage to give Lexi a hug. She’s new, and so the outpouring of kind words surprise her. She figured people would hate her, but it’s painfully obvious in the video that she’s uncomfortable with what’s happening.
I stay until the room is mostly clear. At the front of the room, Nolan and Lexi are talking, and I hope it’s a good conversation. Wondering if she needs saving, I approach them slowly. When they hug suddenly, I realize it was a good conversation and I smile at the two.
“Hey, Audric,” Nolan says when he sees me. He pulls away from Lexi slowly to shake my hand.
“Hey. Everything okay?” I ask, but my eyes are on Lexi. I want to make sure she hasn’t been talked down to or anything.
“It’s good, Audric. Nolan was just telling me he wanted me to come to the funeral service in Atlanta,” she says.
“I think you should, too,” I agree.
“Me too,” Miranda and Roman say together as they walk up to us.
“My mom said she’d call the police,” Lexi objects. “I don’t want to upset her or my step-dad.”
“I talked to Hazel’s dad,” Nolan says.
“You what?” Lexi looks as incredulous as I feel.
“I want you there. I told him a little more about what’s been happening these last few weeks, between Hazel and Cheyanne, and how afraid you were of retaliation if you spoke up. He told me you could come, but that you weren’t allowed to speak. No one in Atlanta knows about what really happened here, so people will actually question it more if you aren’t there. I explained that to him, too,” Nolan explains.
“You’re something else,” Lexi says, hugging him again.
“We’re leaving tonight,” Roman says. “The service is tomorrow at two. We’ll drive about six hours and stay in a hotel and then finish the trip tomorrow morning. I’ve got our hotels booked for the weekend.”
“Thanks, man,” Nolan says.
With our plan put into place, we decide to meet at Lexi’s apartment later so everyone can pack. Lexi and I haven’t told anyone yet that I’m staying with her, so we take separate cars to the beach.
Once we’re back at the condo, Lexi turns to me. “Why aren’t you telling anyone you’re staying here?”
I sigh. “It’s complicated. Once people know I’m here, they’re going to assume we’re a couple, which is the opposite of what I want to happen. I just need a week or two to figure out what the hell I’m doing and where I’m going to go, you know?”
“Trust me, I know.” She unlocks the condo door and I stop at my room.
“I’m going to sleep for an hour or two. No one’s going to be here until after six. Will you wake me up?” I ask her.
“Sure. What time?”
“Around two? I don’t want to sleep too long,” I say.
“No problem.”
* * * * *
Luckily, I don’t have any dreams. I think my subconscious is finally at peace. Maybe. But something wakes me up.
“Audric? Are you awake?” I hear.
I open my eyes and find Lexi perched next to me on the bed, staring at me.
“Yeah… Is it two already?” It feels like I just went to sleep.
“No. But I wanted to sleep, too. And I can’t,” she says.
I scoot over and lift up the covers. “Well get in here then.” All I want is to sleep, to wash away the emotions that run rampant while I’m awake.
She crawls in and rests her back against my chest. I snuggle her and then drift into a dreamless sleep.
Eleven
I wake up with an erection. Not surprising, since the beautiful girl in my arms in rubbing on me seductively. The worst part is, she’s not even awake. I tighten my hold on her, to keep her from moving, but she wiggles more.
“Dammit,” I mutter.
“Audric? You say something?” she asks.
“No. Go to sleep.” I’m short with her, but I want her and that’s just not possible.
“Did I do something wrong?” She sounds so damn innocent.
“No, sweetheart, you didn’t. Just try to sleep,” I say, wishing she would do as I say.
She moves again, but this time, she’s awake and she knows exactly what’s pressing against her ass.
She moves away. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean… You… It’s not like I wanted that to happen…”
I put a finger to her lips. “Lexi, stop. It was bound to happen. And it’s not a big deal, okay? I’m not trying to get in your pants, and you aren’t trying to get in mine, so it’s fine. I just couldn’t control it in my sleep.”
“I’m sorry,” she says against my finger.
“Don’t be. I understand if you don’t want to sleep in here, though.”
She looks around and then back to me. “There’s no place I’d rather sleep.”
She rolls back to me, snuggling up to me. When she laughs, I want to kill her.
“Shut up.”
“It’s like you’ve got a gun,” she giggles.
“Shut up.”
“Please, officer! I’m unarmed!” she says and then throws her hands up.
I laugh. “Shut up.”
It feels good to be laughing with her like this, to actually enjoy myself for a minute. Since Hazel’s death, I’ve felt down, as if I couldn’t be happy anymore. But with Lexi, the sadness disappears and we’re both willing to be happy together.
I shouldn’t think of her this way, but I can’t help it. She’s like a light, glowing just for me, to brighten my day. I decide not to think about it, not to let myself get too involved too quickly. I put my hand on her hip and let myself fall back asleep.
Role Models
Lexi
One
Hazel’s death hasn’t been easy for me.
Audric’s supportive. We napped together this afternoon, a relaxing time. I didn’t sleep much, since Audric’s erection was firmly tucked against my back, but I didn’t mind. He couldn’t help his attraction, just as I can’t help mine. Audric is a sweet, gentle guy. He’s nothing like any of the guys I’ve dated before, who were all tattooed bad boys.
Audric is far too good to ever have a tattoo, or even have a bad attitude. He’s too good, too pure. Hell, he was still a virgin until last week. The fact that Cheyanne took it from him should deter me from liking him. It doesn’t. With everything that’s happened, I know I can’t judge someone by their past.
Hazel had a rotten past. She screwed over a lot of her so-called friends, people who thought she was a true friend. But her suicide only proves she was misunderstood. She wasn’t well, at least, not mentally, and I was part of the problem. I stuck by Cheyanne as she harassed my would-be step-sister, taunting her until Hazel took her own life. I was just as much to blame, too. I’d never have a clean conscience.
Hazel’s death will torment me for the rest of my life. I want to forget, to try to move on, but I know it isn’t possible. I’ll just live with the guilt and self-loathing forever, I guess.
Audric and I make our way back to campus, where Roman, Miranda, and Nolan are waiting for us. It’s been an exhausting day, and it’s only about to get longer. The drive to Atlanta is a long one, no less than eight hours, so we’ll be driving well into the night. I’m looking forward to spending some quality time with these people, the ones who nearly hated me when I aligned myself with Cheyanne.
I haven’t seen or spoken to Cheyanne or Destiny since the sch
ool service. My video display outed them, forcing them to take responsibility for their actions. I owned my actions, too, talking to my counselor and taking my own share of the blame. The video proved I wasn’t an active participant in the hassles, though, at least in the eyes of the school officials. That meant I wasn’t in jeopardy of being expelled. Destiny was in the same boat as me; we were both being placed on probation. One move out of line and we were history.
Cheyanne’s situation was entirely different. The video showed her being venomous to Hazel, continually harassing her. It was sad to watch, and I think even Cheyanne was surprised to see herself, the way she acted, and how hurtful she was. Perhaps it was a reality check for her, but I might never know. She was at serious risk of being expelled, as far as I knew. I didn’t hate her, though her constant teasing of Hazel made things difficult for me at home.
The fact that Audric convinced my step-father to allow me to come home for the funeral is amazing. I owe him so much. Audric has been a rock for me. He broke up with Cheyanne, something I respect him for. He recognizes her role in Hazel’s death, how she pushed Hazel over the edge with her constant teasing. His attitude toward Cheyanne impresses me, considering she took his V-card but her still opposes her. I find it endearing.
We arrive at the parking lot and everyone is standing around Roman’s car. It’s probably too small for the five of us, but we don’t care. It’s cheaper than renting a car, and since no one is twenty-five or older, it would be a nightmare to get a rental, anyway.
“Hey,” I greet everyone.
Everyone says hello and Audric, Roman, and Nolan start talking about what route we’re going to take. Miranda pulls me aside.
“Are you okay?” she asks, her concern evident in her eyes.
I give her a sad smile. “I am and I’m not. I just can’t believe it happened, you know?”
“I do know,” she says with a nod. I can tell she’s been crying and it blows my mind how much she’s affected by Hazel’s death. Even with her shitty attitude and overall indifference to the people around her, Hazel touched lives.
Best Friends Forever Page 31
