Best Friends Forever

by Dawn Pendleton

  “Look, Hazel wasn’t exactly blameless,” Audric starts, throwing out the same excuse he gave to me. “She was a royal bitch, not just to Cheyanne but to everyone. We all know it. She was trying to get under Cheyanne’s skin all year.”

  “That doesn’t mean Hazel deserved to die…” Miranda adds.

  Audric stands up, before our food has even arrived. “Whatever. I’m out.” He drops a twenty on the table and leaves.

  We all stare after him for a full minute before anyone speaks.

  “What the actual fuck?” Nolan states.

  Miranda drops her head. “I can’t believe he said those things.”

  “He’s a douche,” Roman says. “He needs to move the fuck out of my dorm room. He’s a fucking moron.”

  I don’t say anything.

  “Lex, I’m sorry he turned out to be that way. I really thought the two of you had something. Apparently, he’s choosing evil over good.” Nolan nudges my shoulder.

  I sigh. “It’s not a matter of choosing… I just can’t believe he would act this way so soon after Hazel’s death. He was the first one to point out Cheyanne contributing to Hazel’s death and practically shun her. I think he just wanted a piece of ass again.”

  “That makes sense,” Miranda comments.

  “I always thought he was a nice guy, but I guess the truth’s out about him, huh?” Roman mutters, disgusted.

  “Guess so,” Nolan agrees.

  “Forget about him,” Miranda says, drawing our attention. “Let’s try to remember the good things about Hazel and just keep Cheyanne and that whole group out of it. Hazel deserves to be remembered properly.”

  “Agreed,” I say, smiling at her. She’s sweet, a little too nice for her own good, but the fact that she’s trying to turn her life around is pretty amazing. I wonder if I could do the same if I was in her position. Doubt it.

  Six

  It’s Christmas break. I don’t really want to go to my mother’s fiancé’s house for a family meal, but I suppose I don’t have much of a choice. She’s demanded my presence, and my soon-to-be step-dad called me personally. He’s a busy guy, so the fact that he’s taken time out of his schedule to request me to come home, is kind of a big deal.

  I know they both want Hazel and I to get along, but the bitch isn’t exactly welcoming. She answers the door when I knock with a huff.

  “Oh. It’s you,” she says, like she’s expected Ed McMann. I’m not in the mood for her antics after traveling ten hours to get to Atlanta.

  “Shut it,” I mutter.

  She’s unimpressed. “Go to hell.”

  “See you there.”

  “Girls!” my mother screeches. “You will behave during vacation.”

  Hazel rolls her eyes and heads for the stairs. “Whatever.”

  Mother takes a deep breath and waits for Hazel to be out of earshot. “Alexis, it’s good to see you.”

  No one calls me Alexis. I’ve been Lexi or Lex for years. My mother calls me by my given name just to bug me. “Hi, Mom.”

  “Let’s get you settled in the guest room,” she says, leading me up the grand staircase.

  This house is ridiculously huge. I wonder how much money Hazel’s dad dished out for it, but I’ll never ask. The guy is more than a little frightening. He keeps to himself, though. His awkward shyness is exactly how my mother convinced him to marry her, I’m sure. I hate her attitude toward men, and how she expects to be pampered and taken care of by a man. I swear, I’ll never be like that.

  Part of the reason I agreed to switch colleges was that Coastal has a better education rating, which means my degree will be more valuable.

  “How was the trip?” Mother asks, making polite conversation.

  “It wasn’t too bad. I’m just tired. Do I have time to take a nap before dinner?”

  “Adults don’t take naps,” she huffs. “And anyway, dinner will be ready in just a few minutes, so the answer is no, you don’t have enough time to nap.” Clearly, she’s never been to college.

  I’m exhausted but I ignore it. “Great. I’ll just take a few minutes to freshen up,” I say once we’re in the guest room. It’s plain, but the bed is massive and looks comfy. I can’t wait to go to sleep.

  She nods and leaves me alone. I sit on the bed and it’s just as comfortable as I imagined it would be.

  “Don’t get too comfortable.” Hazel’s at my door. Great.

  “I wouldn’t dream of it,” I mutter. “But if I were you, I’d get used to seeing my face.”

  She takes a step into the room. “What does that mean?”

  “Nothing,” I say, deciding now is not the time to tell her about my transfer. “How’s school so far?”

  She sighs, walking in and sitting on my bed. “It’s hell. The guy I want is a player, but I can’t help that I like him. Roman is really attractive, but he’s got a baby mama, who happens to be my fucking roommate.”

  “Whoa. That sucks. How hot is this Roman guy?”

  She closes her eyes. “One of the hottest I’ve seen. He’s just delicious. I slept with him.” Her confession surprises me. I never pegged her for easy.

  “Really? So you guys are dating?”

  “Not exactly…” she says. “He thinks I’m psycho or something because I told him I was in love with him after like a week.”

  “Umm, no offense, but that is a little pyscho,” I say with a laugh.

  “I know! I couldn’t help it. Things just felt so real, so amazing with him. I blurted the words out before I really knew what I was doing.”

  I nod. “Did you tell him that?”

  “No.”

  “Well, why not? Guys tend to understand when girls say things they don’t mean,” I tell her.

  For the first time in our relationship, I feel like we’re doing more than getting along, we’re bonding. It’s actually nice. She’s not an evil bitch, after all. She’s a real person with feelings and fears.

  “I don’t want him to think I’m weak,” she admits.

  “I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” I say, encouraging her.

  “Yeah. We should go down to dinner, I guess,” she says, standing up.

  Together, we walk down to dinner. I think we’re going to be great friends.

  Seven

  At dinner that night, Hazel’s dad announced I would be going to Coastal Carolina, effectively ruining any chance I had at being her friend. She didn’t talk to me the rest of the break.

  I wish I’d reached out to her more, but I can’t change the past, no matter how much I want to.

  We’ve been back at school for a week and I’m struggling. One of my professors has suggested I try grief counseling, something I’m not all that excited to participate in, but even I can tell I need help. I’m falling into a depression that begins and ends with Hazel.

  My first meeting of grief counseling is tonight. I’m nervous as hell, but decide I won’t say anything. I walk into the room, prepared to hate everyone there. But in the far corner, I see Roman.

  “Hey,” I say, approaching him.

  “Oh, hi. What are you doing here?” he asks.

  “I’m not doing very well with Hazel’s death. Is that why you’re here?”

  He looks away. “Partially. Tonight is my turn to talk, so I guess you’ll hear the whole story when we start.”

  I don’t say anything as our counselor walks up to us and introduces herself to me. She directs me to my seat, because apparently we’re all a bunch of five year olds and have assigned seats. I keep my opinion to myself, though, sitting down and waiting for the thing to start.

  I don’t want to talk about my issues, not in front of someone I know, but if they ask me to, I know I will. I need to talk to someone.

  “Welcome to grief counseling. Everyone is here because they’ve lost someone important to them. Tonight, we’ll be hearing from Roman, who has been with us all year. He also recently lost someone close to him last week. Roman?” The counselor looks to him and he stands.

>   He seems to be struggling to speak, but when he does, his voice is clear. “Several years ago, my brother was in a severe car accident. He didn’t die, but he’s been in a coma ever since. I go and talk to him sometimes, willing him to wake up. He’s older than me and I’ve realized in the passing years that I need him. I try to stay hopeful that he’ll wake up, but some days, it seems so pointless. I haven’t gone to visit him in weeks. I feel bad about it, but he’s gone. At least, in my head, he is. I can’t have a conversation with him, can’t play a friendly game of basketball with him… It’s like he’s already dead and has been for years.”

  He takes a deep breath. “Last week, a girl I used to date passed away. She killed herself, actually. I was the one who found her. I haven’t been able to function all that much since it happened.”

  He stops, tears forming in his eyes, and in mine. I can’t help but feel so emotionally attached to him. We went through the same trauma, at least with Hazel, and my heart tightens, constricting my breathing.

  “I miss her.” He sits down, done speaking.

  “Thank you for sharing with us, Roman. We appreciate your openness and honesty,” the counselor says. She turns to the rest of us in the circle. “It’s okay to have negative feelings toward the person who has left your lives. It’s perfectly normal. This is the anger stage, and we must accept our anger, embrace it.” She keeps talking but I find myself staring at Roman, who is pushing tears off his cheeks.

  After the session is over, he comes over to me. “Hey.”

  “Hi,” I reply, looking up at him.

  He looks nervous. “Do you, umm, want to get a burger or something? Maybe we could talk?”

  “Oh, I’m not sure,” I say.

  “It’s not a date. But I feel like I can talk to you. We’ll just go as friends. You can even pay for yourself,” he says.

  I laugh. “Okay, sure.”

  Eight

  I’m surprised by how comfortable I am with Rome. He’s hot, of course, but I’m not attracted to him that way. He’s with Miranda and I adore her. She’s been so supportive this last week, and I would never do anything to hurt her. Roman actually texts her when we arrive at the Steak N Shake.

  “Is she okay with us hanging out?” I ask, worried.

  He looks at his phone for a second. “She’s cool with it. I told her you were in grief counseling with me and she understood our mutual need to talk about what’s going on with someone close to the situation.”

  I breathe a sigh of relief. “That’s good to hear. And I feel the same way. It’s nice to be able to connect with someone over the loss. I had no idea about your brother,” I lie, not wanting to admit Cheyanne told me.

  “Yeah, it’s been a rough couple of years, not to mention being a father,” he comments.

  I think about the fact that his son might not even be his son and it worries me. I know I should tell him, but I’m not sure I can. “Right.” I have nothing else to say.

  “My brother and I weren’t all that close,” he admits. “I thought he was into Cheyanne, actually, when we were dating.”

  He’s so close to the truth that I just nod instead of blurting out what really happened.

  “I don’t know, maybe I’m crazy,” he says with wide eyes.

  I stare into my glass of Coke. “I don’t know if that’s crazy. Do you have reason?”

  “Not really. I’m just skeptical and I have a hard time trusting girls.”

  I can relate to that. “Well then it’s most likely all in your head,” I say, even though I know it’s not. “Do you trust Miranda?” I ask, desperate to change the subject.

  He takes the bait. “Miranda is like most of the other girls I’ve dated, except she’s not overly jealous. She lets me do what I want and isn’t too concerned. She’s a little over the top sometimes, but I don’t mind. As much as I like her, I don’t really see myself with her forever, you know? I mean, I’m happy with her, and she’s great, but I just don’t feel like she’s the one. Now you probably really think I’m crazy.” He laughs at himself as our food arrives.

  Once the waiter walks away, I look at him. “If you’re happy for now, then just let it happen. You don’t need to be with your soul mate so young. When you find her, you’ll know, and there’s nothing wrong with enjoying the time before you find her, especially if you like Miranda.”

  “You won’t say anything to her, will you?” he asks. He should have asked me sooner, though I know I’ll keep his secret.

  “No, of course not. We’re friends,” I say, hoping it’s true. Roman is a great guy. Misunderstood, sure, but still great.

  “Yeah, I guess we are.” He agrees and I smile at him. “So talk to me about Hazel.”

  I take a deep breath and shovel some fries into my mouth to stall. When I swallow, he’s still there, looking at me without judgment. He’s not pushy at all. “It’s hard to deal with,” I answer him, feeling more vulnerable than I have in a long time. “I still can’t believe she’s gone. I wish I’d made more of an effort to be her friend.”

  “You aren’t alone. I wish I hadn’t dumped her, wish I’d seen how fragile she was. I definitely wish we could go back. Maybe I could change things,” he adds.

  “Exactly. I want so badly for things to be different.”

  “In time, you’ll start to heal, to stop blaming yourself.”

  I scoff. “You’re one to talk. You’re not healed over your brother.” I probably shouldn’t have said it, but I can’t help myself.

  “Touché. But there was a time when I couldn’t even say my brother’s name, let alone talk about his accident. So, in a lot of ways, I have been healing.”

  I nod, picking up my burger. “Well, that’s good then. I just want the dull ache in my chest to go away.”

  “It will. Eventually. You’ve just got to be patient and try to move forward with your life.”

  “Easier said than done, my friend.” I’m certain he’s right, even if I don’t want him to be.

  “I know what you mean,” he agrees. “I’m here to talk if you need me.”

  His words are comforting, something I haven’t felt in a long time, not even from well-wishers at Hazel’s funeral. Maybe he’s right… Maybe, with time, I will start to heal. Who knows…? I might even feel something more than anguish someday.

  Author’s Note

  After nearly ten months of waiting, BFFs is done. For those of you who have supported and purchased the series as they came out, THANK YOU!!! I debated for week on whether or not to include a novella from Roman’s point of view, and ultimately, I decided against it. Instead of giving him a tiny chapter in this series, I have put together the workings for all the Callahan brothers. Their series will start to come out in the Fall. So if you’re gaga for Roman, never fear- he will get his own, full length novel later this year! Thank you all for your tremendous support and love(and hate) of these characters.

  More from Dawn Pendleton

  Broken Promises

  Broken Dreams

  Broken Pieces

  Broken Valentine

  Best Friends Forever Series

  Dreams Series (releasing Summer 2014)

  Crazy Dreams

  Wild Dreams

  Unbroken Dreams

  Callahan Brothers Series (releasing Fall/Winter 2014)

  (order subject to change)

  Roman

  Riley

  Reece

  Ryan

  Ryder

  About the Author

  Dawn Pendleton spends her time between Maine and somewhere warm for the winter, dragging her husband and pup wherever she goes. A lover of travel, an avid reader, and a softie at heart, Dawn writes romance novels that face the dark reality of life, which is that not everyone gets a happily ever after right away.

 

 

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