Close Up: Exposure Book Three

by Jocoby, Annie

  I took pictures of the sea lions, and of other birds, mammals and fish, all of whom were covered in oil. I also took pictures of the shuttered businesses which dotted the beach, for they, too, were victims of the oil spill.

  I took pictures for hours, and I talked to some of the locals. One man explained to me that he had his business for 20 years, and he was afraid that he was going to have to shut his doors for good if the beach wasn’t promptly cleaned up.

  “And I’ve seen what has happened in the past with these things,” he said, referring to other oil spills. “I don’t have much faith in the company actually cleaning up their mess in a timely manner.”

  In all, I took hundreds of pictures of the devastation, and my heart sunk. Too many animals were injured and killed, too many people were in danger of losing their livelihood, and too many oil company executives were getting fat and happy and keeping their profits instead of putting more money into safety and clean-up efforts. It was amazingly low-tech, how the workers were cleaning up the beach, as mostly it consisted of the workers putting the oily water into buckets and disposing of the oil in large trucks. Another way of cleaning up this oil slick was using booms to contain the oil and skimmers to take the oil off the surface of the water.

  I wasn’t sure what kind of technological innovations could be used to better clean up these spills, but what the oil companies were doing certainly seemed to be old-school and ineffective. It disgusted me to realize that these oil companies didn’t seem concerned about developing these new methods.

  After I was done with taking pictures, I rented a hotel room and called Asher. He picked up on the first ring.

  “CJ,” he said. “How are you? Where are you?”

  “Actually, I’m on assignment. I was supposed to do a spread about underground punk bands, but they switched me over to an underwater oil rig explosion.”

  “I see. That’s a good assignment for you.”

  “It is.” I took a deep breath. I was just going to start talking, and hope that my true feelings could be revealed when I started to speak. “Asher, it was tragic seeing all of that. All of those animals struggling like that, injured and dying. I can’t even imagine what they’re going through. And all of those people who might lose their businesses…”

  “I know. That’s why I do what I do. I really would like our entire world to eventually get off of fossil fuels and into energy sources that are beneficial to the planet.”

  “Asher, would your company be willing to work on different ways that oil spills could be cleaned up? There really needs to be something out there that’s more efficient, effective and timely than what they do right now.”

  “That’s actually in the pipeline for next year. Some of our top scientists who are on my staff are working on that as we speak, and the new techniques might be ready within the next year or two.”

  I took another deep breath. “Asher, I have to admit that I’m torn. What you did for your father’s business was despicable. I won’t try to tell you differently. But, at the same time, what came out of your involvement was something beautiful. You’ve really taken the blood money and put it to fantastic use.” Then I was quiet. There was really not much more to say, because I wasn’t exactly sure how I was going to finish that thought.

  “Thanks for saying that,” Asher said, and then he, too, was quiet.

  “Well,” I finally said after what seemed like a long, long pause on the phone where neither of us were saying anything. “I just wanted you to know where I was and what I was doing. I’ll call you in a few days.”

  “Okay,” he said. “I need you to be safe, though, so I have a tail on you. I’m sorry, I should have said something, but I’m still very nervous about keeping you out of harm’s way.”

  I sighed and thought that he was being patronizing, but, at the same time, I loved that he was looking out for me. “Thank you.”

  There was more awkward silence, and I finally just said “well, I’ll talk to you soon. I love you, Asher.”

  “I love you too, CJ. I mean that.”

  We hung up the phone, and I laid down on the bed. Within a few minutes, I felt myself falling asleep.

  That night, I dreamed vivid dreams. They were dreams that were more vivid than anything I had ever had before. I dreamed about losing consciousness on the street, and ending up in a strange place. I met Asher in this strange place, and we sparred a bit and then I went home and saw him the next day. I dreamed of the two of us making love for the first time, and how that felt. Then I dreamed about him asking me to pose as his fiancee, and of me meeting Sophie, his ex-girlfriend. In my dream, I went into the mental institution because I needed to come to terms with what happened to Nathaniel because of me. I met Emily there, and I got out and confronted Sophie. In my dream, Asher told me about his past life and broke up with me because of it.

  All through the events of the dream was one thing – I had strong feelings for Asher. It started out as lust and attraction, but I grew very attached to him, especially after I learned about his tragedies. I felt very safe and protected by him, and, at some point, I learned that he loved me too.

  When I woke up, it was as if the light bulb had finally shined on me. My feelings for Asher were finally as strong as his were for me, just because it seemed that my dreams that night were my subconscious bringing back my lost memories and feelings.

  I still knew that his past was despicable. There was no other word for it. But he took that experience and turned it into something beautiful. Because of him and his company, our earth was that much closer to being less dependent upon oil. It was going to take a long, long time, but, sometime in the future, events like that oil spill would be a thing of the past. And Asher’s company would be a large part of that revolution. Plus, Asher indicated that his company was working on ways to clean up oil spills in a more efficient way. That was another wonderful thing that his company might do for society.

  I had to get past it. I wanted to get past it. And I was going to get past it.

  I called Asher and he picked up on the first ring. “CJ, I was just thinking about you.”

  “I’m coming home, Asher, and I’m coming home for real.”

  “I don’t understand. You want to go home?”

  “No. You’re my home. Wherever you are is home. I’m leaving on the next train, and I’m ready to meet your father. I’m ready to do whatever it takes to make sure that you and I are together for the rest of our lives.”

  Asher started to laugh, and he said “oh, thank God. Thank God. I’m staying at the Waldorf Hilton. I’ll meet you at the train station.”

  At that, I packed up my things, hailed a cab and left for the train station.

  I was finally going home.

  And I couldn’t be happier.

  Chapter Twenty

  When I arrived back in London, and Asher met me at the train station, he had open arms and roses. He wrapped his strong arms around me, and I just sobbed. I had so many emotions that were held behind a dam, and they all just came through during that moment. “Oh, Asher, I’m sorry I doubted you. I know how much you love me, and how much I love you now. I remembered, Asher. At least my subconscious does. I had dreams last night, Asher, and everything just became so much more clear for me. I don’t want to ever doubt you again.”

  “I won’t ever give you a reason to doubt me again. Everything is behind us now, and we can concentrate on our future.”

  He had tears in his eyes when I said that. “Thank God,” he whispered into my ear. His deep voice made me tremble, and I wrapped my arms around him even tighter.

  Asher had rented a car there, an electric Aston Martin. “This is a prototype,” he said, as we got behind the wheel. “I know a private dealer here, and he’s letting me borrow this car for a fee.”

  “A fee?” I said. I could just imagine how much that fee was, but I let it go. I loved that Asher at least tried to walk the walk with his cars, even if he did spend a lot of time in New York riding arou
nd in gas-hogging limousines.

  “Yes, a fee,” he said, “although it’s not as much as you might think. The guy who has lent me this car is an old friend of mine.”

  “A friend,” I said. “He’s….family?”

  “No,” he said. “He’s not with the mafia. I do have friends who aren’t in the mafia, you know. Quite a few, in fact.”

  “I know that. I think that I even remembered meeting one of them at that party where Sophie threw me under the bus.”

  He gave me a look. “You really are remembering things, aren’t you?”

  “Yes. I think that the memories were always locked up in my brain somewhere, and I don’t know what happened, but they were unlocked all at once while I slept last night. It’s so weird, but it’s coming back to me. I need to see my doctor when I get back to the states to see if my brain is healing enough for all my memories to come back.” I paused and squeezed his hand. “At any rate, I did remember how I felt about you, which was very strongly. I felt strongly for you right from the start, and that all came back to me.”

  “I’m so happy about that, you just cannot imagine.”

  “I know.” Then I took a deep breath. “So, I’m more nervous than ever in meeting your father. It seems like the stakes couldn’t be higher. If he doesn’t approve of me, which seems like a likely scenario, what is Plan B?”

  Asher shook his head. “The only Plan B would be if you were carrying my child. That would mean a lot to my father. He has always wanted a grandchild, and, at his heart, he’s pretty old-fashioned in that way. He believes that a child should have a mother and father at home, so he wouldn’t stand in our way if we decided to get married because of that.”

  I took a deep breath. I needed to ask him about something else, something that was weighing heavily on my mind. “Asher, I have to ask you. What happens with our child? Will he or she get sucked into your father’s world? Will they be safe from all of that? That really concerns me, because look at what happened with you and your sister. You guys both got trapped into doing horrible things for your father’s group. Is he going to press our children into that too?”

  “No. Believe it or not, he doesn’t really want his family to get caught up in all of that. The only reason why I worked for him was because I wanted to. I didn’t have a choice, I felt, and that’s why I did it. My sister, too. She didn’t have much choice, either, when she got caught up in it. I will say, though, that once you’re in, you’re in. He doesn’t want family members getting involved in the first place. So, he’ll leave our children alone. Which isn’t to say that he won’t want to be a grandfather.”

  My heart started to sink again. I wasn’t even thinking about this angle – that a despicable man was going to be the grandfather to our children. Even if the children aren’t pressed into service, which would be my biggest fear, they still would have somebody like Asher’s father in their lives.

  I got quiet, and Asher took my hand. “It’s going to be okay, CJ. I know that it’s going to be difficult for you to have my father in our lives, but, if it makes it any easier for you, I can tell you that he has meddled very little in my business or my life after I got to America. I don’t see him changing, really. He’s very occupied with his business, and he doesn’t have time to micromanage me.”

  “I know. I just am scared, that’s all. It’s a lot to take in, to process. I wish that things were different, but, then again, if your father wasn’t who he was, then…”

  “I’d be a nobody and would be working in a slaughterhouse right now. Not that I’m judging men who have to do that sort of thing, but…”

  I nodded my head. “All that good that you’ve done for the world wouldn’t have happened.” I took another deep breath. “So, I guess I have to have faith, huh? I have to hope and pray that you’re right, and your father won’t try to meddle in our children’s lives and, God forbid, get them involved in the underworld.”

  I shook my head, trying hard to keep my resolve. I did love this guy, but it all seemed so damned complicated. “Asher, we need to re-think this whole thing. I don’t think that my getting pregnant is the best idea right now. In fact, I’m starting to think that my getting pregnant might not be a good idea, ever. I need to be convinced that your father really will leave our family alone. I want to be with you, don’t get me wrong. But to bring a child into this mess….” I shook my head. “I don’t think that’s the best idea in the whole world.”

  Of course, that all depended on one thing – that I wasn’t pregnant already. I had, thus far, not taken a pregnancy test, so that was unclear. I silently cursed myself for being sucked into all of that, and cursed Asher for trying to get me pregnant without asking me first. But I did know why he did it that way. He wanted an insurance policy, and I could understand that. His father might not ever approve of me otherwise.

  Asher looked stricken. “CJ, I know what you’re saying. I get your misgivings. But you have to understand one thing – the odds are very much against this whole thing working out unless there is a child involved.”

  “You’re holding back on me again,” I said. “Out with it.”

  He sighed. “I Face-timed him yesterday after I got into Heathrow. Things didn’t go well during our conversation.”

  “Meaning?”

  “Meaning that he pretty much put a kibosh on even meeting you. Don’t get me wrong, I had spoken with him before about this meeting, and he seemed to be open to it. But yesterday, he had already changed his mind.”

  “Crap. Let me guess….”

  He nodded his head. “Yes. Sophie apparently called him to tell him that she’s having my child.”

  Sophie again. Would that woman ever fade into the background? It reminded me that Asher’s father wasn’t the only person who was going to stand in the way of our happiness. Sophie was also going to be a part of that, too. She, too, was going to stand in the way of Asher and I getting what we wanted from each other.

  I felt tears coming to my eyes. No matter how hard I tried, things just weren’t working out. Things might never work out.

  I very quietly said “Asher, I love you. But it just seems like there is too much against this. Sophie seems to perpetually stand in our way.”

  “Don’t give up on this,” he said. “Please don’t give up on this. Don’t give up on us.”

  “I came back here, Asher, 100% committed to seeing this through. But what can I do? There’s yet another roadblock, and I feel powerless. She wins.”

  “No she doesn’t. She doesn’t win unless you let her win. I’ll take care of my father on my end. Things are going to work out. You’ll see.”

  I sighed and looked out the window. I really wish that I could believe you Asher. I really do.

  As much as I really wanted to believe him, though, I couldn’t.

  I just couldn’t.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Asher

  I was sitting next to CJ, and my heart was breaking. Because Sophie had me by the balls, just like she said. Check mate, Asher, she had said. I hated her, and I hated myself for ever letting things get this far. I was turning regrets around in my mind, over and over, wanting to go back in time and do things differently.

  If I had to do it all again, I never would have broken up with CJ. I would have gotten her over to London to meet my father right away. That way she never would have been abducted, and Sophie never would have been able to blackmail the way that she was. And Sophie wouldn’t have an alternative father for her child, and that would have meant that she would have been in danger. That would have been a bonus, I thought wryly.

  But I was increasingly seeing no way out for CJ and me. My father had made it clear when I spoke with him – I was to marry Sophie and make her child legitimate. I wanted, so badly, to tell him the truth about all of it. To tell him that I haven’t slept with Sophie in many years, and that she was turning the screws because she needed somebody to accept paternity for her child. If Viktor Kazakov’s wife found out that Viktor fat
hered her child, that would be it for Sophie.

  I would have told him the truth, except that I didn’t trust Sophie at all. My father loved Sophie. Sometimes I thought that he loved her more than he loved me. As such, if she told my father that I was the father of her child, and I told him differently, he most likely would have believed her over me. And that would have put CJ in danger.

  I was going to have to take a risk here. There was no other way. Unfortunately, the penalty for this risk going south would be CJ’s life, not mine.

  I had two options at my disposal. One was to tell the truth to Viktor’s wife, Oksana, and hope that Sophie would get rubbed out by Oksana’s father before Sophie could get to CJ. That, unfortunately, was way too risky and too much depended upon what Oksana was going to do once she found out. And Sophie was quick on her feet, too quick. It would take a matter of minutes to get another hit put on CJ’s head, a hit that she wouldn’t survive.

  I couldn’t protect CJ if there was a hit put on her head. I had zero pull in the underworld. I had no power. My father had all the power, and my father would never intervene unless CJ was my wife. If there was a hit put on CJ, the most that I could do would be to try to negotiate with some of the more powerful members of the underworld in New York City or London and that would inevitably involve me getting more entrenched with these groups than I wanted to. Even that would be merely buying time. I could buy her way out of the problem for a little while, but even money goes so far. Again, though, it would be only buying time. And either of those options would involve me getting involved with the actions of the organizations, and I swore that I would never go back to that.