A Rival to Steal Her Heart

by Annie Claydon

  ‘I didn’t know you had an interest in syndactyly.’ He too seemed anxious to keep this professional.

  ‘I studied under Sir Max Barnes in Manchester for a while.’

  ‘Ah. That explains it.’

  It really didn’t need any explanation. The clinic made the services of its doctors available to nearby hospitals on a regular basis, as part of an ongoing partnership programme. Jamie would have consulted the list and found Anna’s name on it. That was all there was to it. Jon had had nothing to do with his call to the clinic to ask if she might give a second opinion on one of his patients. All the same, there was a formal unease about Jamie’s manner that wasn’t like him.

  The best thing to do was to ignore it. She followed him to a cubicle where a nurse was sitting with a baby.

  ‘This little fella was brought in early this morning. He was abandoned and the police are looking for the mother.’ Jamie’s face was impassive, but his eyes reflected the same compassion that showed in the nurse’s face. In an environment where every case had a story behind it, some were still easier to deal with than others.

  ‘I’ve examined him, and he’s generally surprisingly healthy. But I wanted a second opinion on his hands. You’ve seen the X-rays I sent over?’

  Anna nodded. ‘Yes, and it looks to be a case of simple syndactyly. The second, third and fourth fingers on both hands are fused by soft tissue, but the bones are separate. Let me take a look at him.’

  The nurse lifted the baby boy from the cradle, and Anna examined his hands carefully. His fingernails were also fused, but it looked as if separating the fingers would be a relatively straightforward matter.

  ‘This is going to take more than one operation, isn’t it?’ Jamie was watching her intently, but there was none of their usual joking rivalry in his manner.

  ‘Yes, it’s not possible to operate on more than one side of the finger at a time, or there’s a risk of damaging the blood supply. When the time comes to operate he’s going to need probably four procedures.’

  ‘We’ll be sending him up to the ward soon—is there anything I need to ask them to look out for?’

  ‘I don’t see any signs of a more complex syndrome but they should be aware of the possibility. I’ll add my recommendations to his notes.’

  ‘Great. Thanks. Can I leave you to it for a moment? I’ll be right back...’ As usual, Jamie had more than one patient to attend to.

  ‘Yes, that’s fine. I’ll watch him.’

  Both Jamie and the nurse hurried out of the cubicle. The little boy began to fret in his cradle, and Anna couldn’t resist picking him up to soothe him.

  She wouldn’t...couldn’t have her own child. The nieces and nephews she’d gained when she’d married had never really belonged to her and, along with their parents, had just melted away again after the divorce. And this little one was only hers for a few short moments, before Jamie or the nurse returned. But he didn’t know that, all he knew was the reassurance of being held by someone.

  ‘Hey there, sweetheart. Everything’s going to be all right.’ She cooed the words at him, and he seemed to respond to her voice.

  Everything was very far from being all right. An abandoned baby who faced painful medical procedures. It seemed such a cruel twist of fate when Anna would have done anything to have her own child. She felt tears well in her eyes, and blinked them away quickly.

  She rocked the baby boy in her arms, singing to him quietly, and his eyes began to close. He was so peacefully unaware of everything that was going on around him.

  She could put him back into his cradle, now, but somehow it seemed wrong to do so, as if holding him might add just a drop more love to a life that already needed all the love it could get. When Jamie returned, she was still holding the little boy, the notes untouched. He glanced at them and then looked at her.

  ‘Everything okay?’

  ‘Oh. Yes...’

  Jamie finally managed a smile. ‘They smell so good, don’t they? My sister always had a battle on her hands, getting me to hand her newborns back...’

  He shot her a speculative look and when Anna failed to answer he seemed to decide that he needed to delve a little further. ‘This little man tugs at the heartstrings.’

  Anna’s heartstrings were close to snapping. And she’d forgotten to really take in that new baby smell. It was too late now, and it was just one more loss to contend with.

  ‘What’s his name?’ She asked the question before she’d really thought about it, and Jamie shook his head slowly. Of course. They didn’t know.

  ‘He’ll be staying here for a little while, while his foster care is arranged. I dare say the nurses upstairs will be giving him a name.’

  He took the baby from her arms, and Anna tried not to notice the way his face softened. Jamie’s green eyes seemed to be cutting into her heart more painfully than usual. He put the baby back into the cradle, stopping to gently stroke his cheek with one finger.

  ‘I really appreciate your time, thank you.’

  ‘No problem. I’ll just write my recommendations up and then I’ll be on my way.’ Anna decided that everything would go a bit faster if she did them outside, where she couldn’t be distracted by either Jamie or the baby. She picked up the notes and headed for the door of the cubicle.

  ‘Anna...’ Jamie’s voice behind her sounded suddenly strained.

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘How is he?’

  There was no need to ask who he was talking about. Jamie wasn’t as unconcerned about his brother as he seemed.

  ‘He’s fine, Jamie. I saw him this morning and he’s settling in well.’

  Jamie nodded. ‘Thanks.’

  Nothing else. No indication that Jamie would come to see his brother, and no message. But she’d done all she could and it was time to take a step back now, and let Jamie work things out. And she did have to get back to the clinic.

  Anna turned, getting the distinct impression that Jamie was watching her as she walked away.

  * * *

  Five o’clock. She should be going home, but Jon hadn’t had a visitor all day. Anna decided to pop in and see how he was, but when she looked in his room he wasn’t there. She found him up on the roof of the building, huddled in a heavy leather jacket and a scarf. As she walked towards him, he slid the headphones he was wearing down around his neck.

  ‘Aren’t you cold?’ An autumn chill was beginning to set in and the evenings were drawing in.

  ‘Nah, I’m good. I like it up here.’ Jon tapped his finger on the book in his lap. ‘I have plenty of company.’

  Music and books. They were wonderful company but didn’t replace a family. Anna wondered where Jamie was, and what he was doing.

  ‘You contacted him, didn’t you?’ Jon was looking at her keenly.

  ‘Yes, I did. I went over to the hospital yesterday and saw him.’ Anna bit her lip. Maybe she shouldn’t have let Jon know that Jamie was so close, or that it had been more than twenty-four hours since Jamie had heard that his brother was here. But Jon just nodded.

  ‘I’m not gonna ask you what he said.’ Jon shifted fitfully in his seat. ‘You think we’re alike?’

  The question came right out of the blue, and it was a difficult one. The two brothers looked alike, but... Jamie was Jamie. He was unique.

  ‘You resemble each other. You seem different to me.’

  Jon laughed suddenly. ‘Good answer. We used to hate it when we were kids and people reckoned we were just two versions of the same. We had this aunt who always bought identical Christmas presents for us, even when I was on the road, touring, and Jamie was at medical school.’

  There was regret in Jon’s face. He obviously missed his brother, and Anna wondered again what had torn them apart. Neither of them seemed to want to talk about it, and in that they were identical.

  ‘I guess that’s o
ne of the hazards of being a twin.’

  ‘Yeah. Jamie was always the one who said less but had more going on in his head.’

  Anna smiled. ‘I can’t imagine that the person who wrote “Everywhere” doesn’t have something going on in his head.’

  ‘You like that song?’

  ‘Yes, I love it. It got me through a bit of a rocky patch in my life. It’s so...optimistic about the future.’

  ‘It’s a great song.’ Jon’s lip quivered. ‘Jamie wrote it, you know. I imagine he probably hasn’t told you that.’

  ‘No, he didn’t.’

  ‘Like I said. Jamie has a lot more going on in his head than I do. I generally used to write the music and he wrote the words, but “Everywhere” was all his own work.’

  They must have been close once. If writing songs together wasn’t proof enough, then she had only to look at the regret in Jon’s face. Maybe she should change the subject, even if the words to ‘Everywhere’ were now running insistently through her head. The hope for the future and the determination not to give up made so much more sense now that she knew they were Jamie’s words.

  ‘What are you listening to?’

  Jon took the headphones from around his neck, detaching the earpieces from their mounting and handing one to her. She pressed it against her ear, leaning forward so that Jon could listen through the other one, and he traced his thumb across the screen of the phone he’d taken out of his pocket.

  ‘Bach! Really...?’

  Jon laughed. ‘Both Jamie and I had music lessons when we were kids and we played all the classics. Bach was always my favourite. Don’t you think this has a lot in common with all song structures?’

  ‘Now you mention it, I suppose...’ Anna put the earpiece against her ear again, and Jon began to trace the precise tempo with his finger in the air, like a conductor. When the complex strands of the melody wove together to draw the music to a close, he made a concluding flourish and Anna laughed.

  ‘I see it now...’ Anna looked over her shoulder as Jon’s gaze suddenly left her face. Jamie was standing by the door that led from the stairs to the roof garden, watching them.

  Something about the look on Jamie’s face made her quickly give the earpiece back to Jon and lean away from him. She was just talking to a patient, wasn’t she? Maybe Jamie thought that she was taking sides, because he shot her an injured look.

  ‘Jon, I...’ She turned back to Jon, whose face was moulded into a look of stony shock. ‘I didn’t know he was coming.’

  Jon didn’t reply. His attention was all on Jamie, who was walking towards them, and the closer his brother got, the more agitated Jon looked. This whole situation was turning into a nightmare. Something was about to explode...

  ‘I heard you were here.’ Jamie’s voice was quiet, his face impassive.

  ‘Yeah. I’m here.’

  Jamie sat down, without even looking at Anna. The two brothers regarded each other steadily. It would be good to leave right now, but Anna wasn’t going anywhere until she knew that they weren’t going to start arguing as soon as she turned her back.

  ‘Let’s take a look at your arm, little brother.’

  Jamie’s quiet words seemed familiar to Jon, and he gave a stiff smile as he pulled up the sleeve of his jacket to expose the bottom half of the burn scar. Jamie turned the edges of his mouth down.

  ‘Looks as if it hurt. Probably still does.’

  ‘Yeah. The doc says she can sort it for me.’

  Jamie nodded, turning to Anna with the hint of a smile. ‘You don’t mind if I step on your toes?’

  He’d never asked before, but then they’d never been in this situation before. She stood, flashing a smile at Jon. ‘I’ll leave you to it, if that’s okay.’

  Jon nodded, and Jamie turned his attention again to his brother. When Anna reached the door that led to the staircase, she turned and saw him examining the scar on Jon’s arm carefully. Then he gestured towards his brother’s face, and Jon turned his head so that Jamie could see the scars on his brow and neck.

  She shouldn’t stay. But her heart was beating like a drum in her chest. One spark and the fragile reconciliation could all go up in smoke. Jamie and Jon were talking, and Jamie gestured to the book on Jon’s lap. Jon picked it up and began to read aloud, and Jamie leaned back in his chair.

  That was an odd thing to do. But it seemed to be part of an old bond that she knew nothing about, and the taut lines of Jamie’s body began to relax a little. As they did so, Jon began to smile. Anna shook her head. Whatever worked for them. She turned, opening the door. One last look told her that neither of the brothers was even aware that she was leaving.

  CHAPTER THREE

  HARD? THIS HAD been much more than hard. More than any of the adjectives that Jamie could apply to any given situation. But he’d known he had to come, and when he’d shrugged on his jacket and left the hospital it hadn’t even occurred to him to call ahead. He just wanted to see Jon, and make sure that he was all right.

  The receptionist in the ward knew him, but she gave him a second look when he asked for Jon, as if she’d only just noticed the resemblance and put the two names together. It had been a long time since anyone had asked whether he and Jon were related, and Jamie guessed it was because their lives were so very different.

  He’d reached the top of the stairs and stopped short, shock gluing him to the spot. Anna was leaning towards Jon and they were both listening to the same piece of music. He always noticed everything about Anna, and now he saw that her blonde hair, usually tied back when she was working, was loose and falling forward across her shoulders. Just inches from Jon’s hand.

  The intimacy was obvious, and he wanted to grab Anna and pull her away. But Anna wasn’t his to protect, and she had every right to spend time with Jon if she wanted to. Then Jon saw him, and the two started almost guiltily.

  Rage flowed through him like a tide of molten lava. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t see Anna with Jon. But he somehow managed to get himself under control and walked towards them.

  * * *

  An hour later, he’d brought Jon back down to his room, and bade him goodnight. His head was spinning, and he didn’t want to see Anna. But his legs didn’t obey the command of his head, and he walked towards her office, knowing he’d find her there.

  ‘You’re still here?’ He stood at the open door, trying to feign surprise.

  ‘Yes. I’ve been trying to make up my mind about whether I did the right thing or not. And wondering if there was going to be an explosion...’ She gave him a nervous smile.

  ‘No explosions. You did the right thing.’

  She nodded. ‘Come in. I’ll get you some coffee.’

  Jamie walked into the office, sitting down in the chair on the other side of her desk. ‘No coffee. I don’t think I’ll be sleeping much tonight as it is.’

  ‘I’m glad you’ve patched things up. Whatever this argument was about...’ She waved her hand, as if that didn’t matter.

  She didn’t know. Jamie told himself that it made the intimacy he’d seen between Anna and his brother a little less shattering, but he still couldn’t put it out of his mind. He reminded himself that he’d seen Anna many times with patients, and that her manner was always caring and kind. He should look at it in that context.

  ‘We haven’t so much patched it up as... We’re not talking about it.’

  Anna shrugged. ‘Whatever works...’

  Who knew whether it was going to work or not? Right now it was about the only option as Jamie still couldn’t talk about what had happened without betraying his anger, and right now Jon needed his care.

  ‘Do the rest of the family know Jon’s here?’ There were a lot of questions he hadn’t asked Jon, and Jamie realised that he’d been saving them for Anna.

  ‘Not as far as I’m aware. Jon said that if you weren’t
coming then he didn’t want the rest of the family to have to take sides.’

  ‘That was decent of him. Unnecessary, though. I’ll call my sister tonight. My parents are in Australia for three months, but I’ll email them and let them know.’

  ‘Sounds like a plan.’ Anna’s obvious approval began to cut through the haze of uncertainty that Jamie felt. ‘You’ll be back?’

  ‘Tomorrow morning. The charity can do without me for a couple of weeks, and I’ll be staying up in London full time.’

  Anna nodded. Another little shard of warmth, something concrete to hold onto.

  ‘If you’d like, you can use my office to work in while you’re here. I’ll mention it to my boss but I doubt he’ll have any problem with the idea. You work with us on an informal basis anyway.’

  ‘You’re keeping me here for as long as you can?’ Jamie flashed her a smile.

  ‘That’s the general idea.’ She smiled back. Honesty was one of Anna’s more endearing traits.

  ‘Thanks. That would be really helpful and... I should spend as much time as I can with Jon, but it would be nice to have a bolthole as well.’

  ‘I thought that might be the case.’ Anna leaned back in her chair, regarding him thoughtfully. ‘So what’s with the reading?’

  She didn’t know that either. It was no secret, but Jamie’s habit was to compensate for his dyslexia as much as possible when he was working. ‘I have mild dyslexia. When we were kids, Jon used to read to me. It was usually comics then, he used to do different voices and act things out.’

  ‘Ah. So that explains the planner on your office wall, then.’ She smiled at him. ‘And your diary. I thought you were just terrifyingly organised.’

  Both his diary and his calendar were colour coded, allowing Jamie to see what was most important at a glance. It was one of the many small techniques he employed that most people didn’t even notice, even if they knew about his dyslexia.

  ‘Yeah, I find that colour coding makes things a bit easier. Although I wouldn’t want to dissuade you from your belief in my organisational skills.’