The Cloister and the Hearth

by Charles Reade

  CHAPTER XXVII

  THE worthy physician went home and told his housekeeper he was in agonyfrom "a bad burn." Those were the words. For in phlogistic as in otherthings, we cauterize our neighbour's digits, but burn our own fingers.His housekeeper applied some old women's remedy mild as milk. Hesubmitted like a lamb to her experience: his sole object in the caseof this patient being cure: meantime he made out his bill for brokenphials, and took measures to have the travellers imprisoned at once. Hemade oath before a magistrate that they, being strangers and indebted tohim, meditated instant flight from the township.

  Alas! it was his unlucky day. His sincere desire and honest endeavour toperjure himself were baffled by a circumstance he had never foreseen norindeed thought possible.

  He had spoken the truth.

  And IN AN AFFIDAVIT!

  The officers, on reaching "The Silver Lion", found the birds were flown.

  They went down to the river, and from intelligence they received there,started up the bank in hot pursuit.

  This temporary escape the friends owed to Denys's good sense andobservation. After a peal of laughter, that it was a cordial to hear,and after venting his watchword three times, he turned short grave, andtold Gerard Dusseldorf was no place for them. "That old fellow," saidhe, "went off unnaturally silent for such a babbler: we are strangershere; the bailiff is his friend: in five minutes we shall lie in adungeon for assaulting a Dusseldorf dignity, are you strong enough tohobble to the water's edge? it is hard by. Once there you have but tolie down in a boat instead of a bed; and what is the odds?"

  "The odds, Denys? untold, and all in favour of the boat. I pine forRome; for Rome is my road to Sevenbergen; and then we shall lie in theboat, but ON the Rhine, the famous Rhine; the cool, refreshing Rhine.I feel its breezes coming: the very sight will cure a littlehop-'o-my-thumb fever like mine; away! away!"

  Finding his excitable friend in this mood, Denys settled hastily withthe landlord, and they hurried to the river. On inquiry they found totheir dismay that the public boat was gone this half hour, and no otherwould start that day, being afternoon. By dint, however, of asking agreat many questions, and collecting a crowd, they obtained an offer ofa private boat from an old man and his two sons.

  This was duly ridiculed by a bystander. "The current is too strong forthree oars."

  "Then my comrade and I will help row," said the invalid.

  "No need," said the old man. "Bless your silly heart, he owns t'otherboat."

  There was a powerful breeze right astern; the boatmen set a broad sail,and rowing also, went off at a spanking rate.

  "Are ye better, lad, for the river breeze?"

  "Much better. But indeed the doctor did me good."

  "The doctor? Why, you would none of his cures."

  "No, but I mean--you will say I am nought--but knocking the old fooldown--somehow--it soothed me."

  "Amiable dove! how thy little character opens more and more every day,like a rosebud. I read thee all wrong at first."

  "Nay, Denys, mistake me not, neither. I trust I had borne with his idlethreats, though in sooth his voice went through my poor ears; but he wasan infidel, or next door to one, and such I have been taught to abhor.Did he not as good as say, we owed our inward parts to men with longGreek names, and not to Him, whose name is but a syllable, but whosehand is over all the earth? Pagan!"

  "So you knocked him down forthwith--like a good Christian."

  "Now, Denys, you will still be jesting. Take not an ill man's part. Hadit been a thunderbolt from Heaven, he had met but his due; yet he tookbut a sorry bolster from this weak arm."

  "What weak arm?" inquired Denys, with twinkling eyes. "I have livedamong arms, and by Samson's hairy pow never saw I one more like acatapult. The bolster wrapped round his nose and the two ends kissedbehind his head, and his forehead resounded, and had he been Goliath,or Julius Caesar, instead of an old quacksalver, down he had gone. St.Denys guard me from such feeble opposites as thou! and above all fromtheir weak arms--thou diabolical young hypocrite."

  The river took many turns, and this sometimes brought the wind on theirside instead of right astern. Then they all moved to the weather sideto prevent the boat heeling over too much all but a child of about fiveyears old, the grandson of the boatman, and his darling; this urchinhad slipped on board at the moment of starting, and being too lightto affect the boat's trim, was above, or rather below, the laws ofnavigation.

  They sailed merrily on, little conscious that they were pursued by awhole posse of constables armed with the bailiff's writ, and that theirpursuers were coming up with them; for if the wind was strong, so wasthe current.

  And now Gerard suddenly remembered that this was a very good way toRome, but not to Burgundy. "Oh, Denys," said he, with an almost alarmedlook, "this is not your road."

  "I know it," said Denys quietly; "but what can I do? I cannot leave theetill the fever leaves thee; and it is on thee still, for thou artboth red and white by turns; I have watched thee. I must e'en go on toCologne, I doubt, and then strike across."

  "Thank Heaven," said Gerard joyfully. He added eagerly, with a littletouch of self-deception, "'Twere a sin to be so near Cologne and not seeit. Oh, man, it is a vast and ancient city such as I have often dreamedof, but ne'er had the good luck to see. Me miserable, by what hardfortune do I come to it now? Well then, Denys," continued the young manless warmly, "it is old enough to have been founded by a Roman ladyin the first century of grace, and sacked by Attila the barbarous, andafterwards sore defaced by the Norman Lothaire. And it has a churchfor every week in the year forbye chapels and churches innumerableof convents and nunneries, and above all, the stupendous minster yetunfinished, and therein, but in their own chapel, lie the three kingsthat brought gifts to our Lord, Melchior gold, and Gaspar frankincense,and Balthazar the black king, he brought myrrh; and over their bonesstands the shrine the wonder of the world; it is of ever-shining brassbrighter than gold, studded with images fairly wrought, and inlaid withexquisite devices, and brave with colours; and two broad stripes run toand fro, of jewels so great, so rare, each might adorn a crown orransom its wearer at need; and upon it stand the three kings curiouslycounterfeited, two in solid silver, richly gilt; these be bareheaded;but he of Aethiop ebony, and beareth a golden crown; and in the midstour blessed Lady, in virgin silver, with Christ in her arms; and at thecorners, in golden branches, four goodly waxen tapers do burn night andday. Holy eyes have watched and renewed that light unceasingly forages, and holy eyes shall watch them in saecula. I tell thee, Denys, theoldest song, the oldest Flemish or German legend, found them burning,and they shall light the earth to its grave. And there is St. Ursel'schurch, a British saint's, where lie her bones and all the other virginsher fellows; eleven thousand were they who died for the faith, being putto the sword by barbarous Moors, on the twenty-third day of October, twohundred and thirty-eight. Their bones are piled in the vaults, and manyof their skulls are in the church. St. Ursel's is in a thin golden case,and stands on the high altar, but shown to humble Christians only onsolemn days."

  "Eleven thousand virgins!" cried Denys. "What babies German men musthave been in days of yore. Well, would all their bones might turn fleshagain, and their skulls sweet faces, as we pass through the gates. 'Tisodds but some of them are wearied of their estate by this time."

  "Tush, Denys!" said Gerard; "why wilt thou, being good, still makethyself seem evil? If thy wishing-cap be on, pray that we may meet themeanest she of all those wise virgins in the next world, and to thatend let us reverence their holy dust in this one. And then there is thechurch of the Maccabees, and the cauldron in which they and theirmother Solomona were boiled by a wicked king for refusing to eat swine'sflesh."

  "Oh, peremptory king! and pig-headed Maccabees! I had eaten bacon withmy pork liever than change places at the fire with my meat."

  "What scurvy words are these? it was their faith."

  "Nay, bridle thy choler, and tell me, are there nought but churchesin this thy so vaun
ted city? for I affect rather Sir Knight than SirPriest."

  "Ay, marry, there is an university near a hundred years old; and thereis a market-place, no fairer in the world, and at the four sides ofit houses great as palaces; and there is a stupendous senate-house allcovered with images, and at the head of them stands one of stout HermanGryn, a soldier like thyself, lad."

  "Ay. Tell me of him! what feat of arms earned him his niche?"

  "A rare one. He slew a lion in fair combat, with nought but his cloakand a short sword. He thrust the cloak in the brute's mouth, and cuthis spine in twain, and there is the man's effigy and eke the lion's toprove it. The like was never done but by three more, I ween; Samsonwas one, and Lysimachus of Macedon another, and Benaiah, a captain ofDavid's host."

  "Marry! three tall fellows. I would like well to sup with them allto-night."

  "So would not I," said Gerard drily.

  "But tell me," said Denys, with some surprise, "when wast thou inCologne?"

  "Never but in the spirit. I prattle with the good monks by the way, andthey tell me all the notable things both old and new.

  "Ay, ay, have not I seen your nose under their very cowls? But when Ispeak of matters that are out of sight, my words they are small, and thething it was big; now thy words be as big or bigger than the things; arta good limner with thy tongue; I have said it; and for a saint, as readywith hand, or steel, or bolster--as any poor sinner living; and so,shall I tell thee which of all these things thou hast described draws meto Cologne?"

  "Ay, Denys."

  "Thou, and thou only; no dead saint, but my living friend and comradetrue; 'tis thou alone draws Denys of Burgundy to Cologne?"

  Gerard hung his head.

  At this juncture one of the younger boatmen suddenly inquired what wasamiss with "little turnip-face?"

  His young nephew thus described had just come aft grave as a judge, andburst out crying in the midst without more ado. On this phenomenon,so sharply defined, he was subjected to many interrogatories, somecoaxingly uttered, some not. Had he hurt himself? had he over-atehimself? was he frightened? was he cold? was he sick? was he an idiot?

  To all and each he uttered the same reply, which English writers renderthus, oh! oh! oh! and French writers thus, hi! hi! hi! So fixed areFiction's phonetics.

  "Who can tell what ails the peevish brat?" snarled the young boatmanimpatiently. "Rather look this way and tell me whom be these after!"The old man and his other son looked, and saw four men walking alongthe east bank of the river; at the sight they left rowing awhile, andgathered mysteriously in the stern, whispering and casting glancesalternately at their passengers and the pedestrians.

  The sequel may show they would have employed speculation better intrying to fathom the turnip-face mystery; I beg pardon of my age: I meanthe deep mind of dauntless infancy.

  "If 'tis as I doubt," whispered one of the young men, "why not give thema squeak for their lives; let us make for the west bank."

  The old man objected stoutly. "What," said he, "run our heads intotrouble for strangers! are ye mad? Nay, let us rather cross to the eastside; still side with the strong arm! that is my rede. What say you,Werter?"

  "I say, please yourselves."

  What age and youth could not decide upon, a puff of wind settled mostimpartially. Came a squall, and the little vessel heeled over; the menjumped to windward to trim her; but to their horror they saw in the veryboat from stem to stern a ditch of water rushing to leeward, and thenext moment they saw nothing, but felt the Rhine, the cold and rushingRhine.

  "Turnip-face" had drawn the plug.

  The officers unwound the cords from their waists.

  Gerard could swim like a duck; but the best swimmer, canted out of aboat capsized, must sink ere he can swim. The dark water bubbled loudlyover his head, and then he came up almost blind and deaf for a moment;the next, he saw the black boat bottom uppermost, and figures clingingto it; he shook his head like a water-dog, and made for it by a sort ofunthinking imitation but ere he reached it he heard a voice behind himcry not loud but with deep manly distress, "Adieu, comrade, adieu!"

  He looked, and there was poor Denys sinking, sinking, weighed down byhis wretched arbalest. His face was pale, and his eyes staring wide,and turned despairingly on his dear friend. Gerard uttered a wild cryof love and terror, and made for him, cleaving the water madly; but thenext moment Denys was under water.

  The next, Gerard was after him.

  The officers knotted a rope and threw the end in.