Raking a hand through her hair, she looked away from him and over toward the twins. In spite of the night being pleasantly cool, she felt uncomfortably hot. “You haven’t explained why I need to stay at the party a little longer,” she reminded him.
He placed the now empty plate on the table and reached for her arm. “I’ll explain as we walk. Let’s go to Kate’s rose garden. It’ll be quieter there.”
As the two of them disappeared into the shadows, Vanessa wondered if anyone had noticed their leaving. But why that should even matter, she didn’t know. She was a grown woman and what went on between her and the manager of the Diamond D Ranch was no one’s business but theirs. Yet at the same time, she had to concede that other people’s opinion of her did matter. Maybe because as a poor girl growing up she’d heard the nasty whispers at school, she’d heard the gossip that Vanessa Valdez would turn out no better than her worthless brothers. And down through the years she’d worked hard to prove those people wrong, to make herself respectable and successful.
“If you needed to say something to me, you could have said it back there at the party,” Vanessa told him as they trod along a graveled path that was lined with dim footlights and wound through head-high rose bushes.
“Not what I want to say.”
The softness to his voice caught her attention and she paused to swing her gaze up to his shadowed face. Her heart jerked. He looked so serious, yet so sexy that her breath flew away and refused to come back.
“Conall—”
“Not here,” he said. “Let’s go sit in the gazebo.”
Maura had told her that the gazebo had been built the same time as the huge ranch house. Now, after more than forty years, the board seats were worn smooth, along with the planked floor. A pair of aspen trees sheltered one side of the structure and as they sat down together on one of the secluded benches, the leaves rattled gently from the evening breeze.
Vanessa welcomed the cool air against her hot skin, yet it did little to chill her racing thoughts. Was he about to suggest that the two of them become lovers? That she become his mistress? She didn’t know what to expect. Only one thing was clear to her—sitting in the dark with the heavenly scent of roses wrapping around them was going to be a heck of a test on her resistance.
“When my sisters were teenagers I used to tease them about sitting out here dreaming about marrying a prince or a frog. Whichever they could catch first,” he said with amusement. “But after we all got older, I realized the place had a nice, calming effect. Now I think I visit the place more than they do.”
“Is that why you brought me out here?” Vanessa asked wryly. “To calm me down?”
He chuckled as he reached for her hand. “That’s one thing I like about you, Vanessa, you make me laugh. Something I’d almost forgotten how to do.”
As his warm fingers tightened around hers, Vanessa wasn’t about to let herself think she had that much of an effect on the man. To do so would simply be dreaming. And during her doomed marriage she’d learned that a person had to be responsible for their own happiness, instead of relying on someone else to provide it for them.
She sighed. “Sometimes that’s easy for a person to do—forget how to laugh.” She glanced over at him, but the shadows were too deep to pick up the expression on his face. “So why are we here instead of mingling with the party guests?”
“I wanted to talk to you about…several things.”
The humor was gone from his voice now and her heartbeat slowed to a heavy dread of drumbeats. “Is this about my job?” she asked.
“Actually, it is.”
He’d never been evasive or short on explanations before and she wondered yet again what had brought about this change in him. Before the twins he’d been cool, work-driven and predictable. Now she couldn’t begin to anticipate what he might say or do next. It was more than unnerving.
Finally, he said, “I think I need to find a different secretary.”
She sucked in a sharp breath and bit down on the urge to scream at him. “You invited me to a party to fire me? Why?” she demanded. “Because I refused to make love to you?”
His lazy chuckle infuriated her.
“No. Because I’ve come to realize that you were right. It’s too damn hard to get any work done in the office when all I want to do is lock the door and make love to you all day.”
Feeling the desperate need to escape, she tried to pull her hand from his, but he held her tight, making it clear that he had plenty more to say and expected her to hang around and listen.
“Conall—”
“Wait, Vanessa, before you get all huffy, this isn’t…well, it’s not just about the two of us making love. It’s more than that.”
Confused now, she squared her knees around so that she was facing him head-on. “What is this about?”
He looked away from her and if Vanessa hadn’t known better she would have thought he was nervous. But that couldn’t be so. Conall Donovan didn’t allow anything to rattle him.
Eventually he began to speak and his husky voice slid over her skin like warm, summer rain and filled her with the urge to shiver, to lean in to him and invite his kiss. She clamped her hands together and tried to concentrate on his words.
“I’ve been thinking about us, Vanessa. A lot. And the more I think about it the more I realize there’s a perfect solution to our problem.”
She swallowed as all sorts of questions raced through her head. “Problem? You mean now that you want to fire me and get another secretary?”
He grimaced. “I don’t want to fire you. I mean, I do, but only because I have something different in mind—for you…for us.”
Bending her head, she sucked in several deep breaths and prayed the nausea in her stomach would disappear. “Look, Conall, I like my job. I like being here on the ranch and you Donovans are excellent people to work for. But I don’t appreciate the fact that you’re trying to…extort sex from me! I’m not that needy. Like I told you, I can easily get a job at the casino at Ruidoso Downs and—”
“Extort sex from you! What are you talking about?”
His interruption whipped her head up. “Why, yes, isn’t that what this is all about? You want me to quit my job and be your mistress?”
With a groan of disbelief, he clasped his hands over both her shoulders. “Oh, Vanessa, I’m sorry. I must be doing this all wrong. I don’t want you to be my mistress. I want you to be my wife.”
Chapter Eight
If he’d not been holding on to her, Vanessa was sure she would have fallen straight backward and onto the floor of the gazebo.
“Your wife!” she said in a shocked whisper. “Are you…out of your mind?”
There was no smile on his face, no glimmer that he was anywhere near teasing.
“Not in the least. The twins need a father. And you and I…well, we obviously get on together. I think it’s the perfect solution for all of us.”
Stunned, she rose to her feet and walked to the other side of the gazebo. In her wildest imaginings, she’d not expected this from Conall. Twenty years ago, when she’d viewed him as a knight on horseback, she’d fantasized how it would be to receive a kiss from him, or even go on a date with him, but even her fantasies had known when and where to stop. Men like Conall didn’t marry women like her.
She heard his footsteps approaching her from behind and then his hands came to rest upon her shoulders. As their warmth seeped into her skin, she closed her eyes and wondered why she suddenly wanted to weep.
“Vanessa, what are you thinking?”
Her throat was aching, making her voice low and strained. “I’m…very flattered, Conall. But marriage needs to be more than a solution.”
His sigh rustled the top of her hair. “I’m trying to be practical, Vanessa. Marriage—making a family together—would be good for all four of us.”
Maybe it would, she thought sadly, but what about love? He’d not mentioned the word, but then he hardly needed to explain his feeli
ngs. She already understood that he didn’t love her.
Turning, she demanded, “How would it be good for you, Conall?”
His arms slipped around her waist and drew the front of her body up against his. “Just having you next to me would be good,” he murmured.
She groaned as a war of wanting him and needing his love erupted inside of her. “I’m sorry, Conall, but it hasn’t been that long since I got out of a horrible marriage. I don’t want to jump into something that…well, I’m just not sure about.”
He frowned. “Do you think I’m taking this whole thing lightly? That I proposed to you on impulse? Hell, Vanessa, my marriage turned out to be a nightmare. For a while after the divorce I tried to date again, to find a woman I could build a relationship with. But the past refused to let that happen so I finally gave up trying. So if you think you’re the only one who has a corner on being hurt by a spouse, then think again.”
“That’s exactly why this is all so crazy!” she exclaimed. “Why would you want to marry a divorced woman with two newborns when…”
“Finish what you were going to say, Vanessa. When…?”
Pressing her lips together, she looked away from him. Through the lattice covering the side of the gazebo, she could see the lights of the party twinkling through the pine boughs. Shrieks of laughter were coming from the pool and closer to the house she could hear several voices singing “Happy Birthday” to Kate. The fact that Conall had chosen this night to propose to her while his family was celebrating seemed surreal.
Biting back an impatient curse, she turned away from him. “Don’t play dumb with me, Conall. It doesn’t suit you at all. You know what I was about to say. You’re a Donovan. You don’t have to go around looking for a woman to marry. All you have to do is get the word out and they’ll come running to you. You certainly don’t have to settle for your secretary.”
His face stony, he caught her by the shoulder and spun her back around. “Why are you doing your best to insult me and yourself? Me being a Donovan has nothing to do with us marrying!”
Amazed, her head swung back and forth. “Conall, that’s a fact that can’t be buried or swept under the rug!”
His nostrils flared. “Why do you think so little of yourself?”
Tears were suddenly burning her eyes. “Because…oh, you can’t understand anything, can you? I’ve already had one husband who didn’t love me! Do you honestly think I want another?”
Before he could answer, she twisted away from him and dashed out of the gazebo. As she hurried along the lighted footpaths, she did her best to stem the hot moisture threatening to spill onto her cheeks.
She’d made a fool of herself, she thought bitterly. Of course, Conall couldn’t understand her reaction to his proposal. He couldn’t know that she loved him and, perhaps, had always loved him. She was just now beginning to realize that herself.
At one time in his life, long before he’d learned of his sterility, Conall had been comfortable with women. As very young men, Liam had struggled to converse with the opposite sex, while Conall had instinctively known exactly what to say or do to make a woman adore him. Long before he’d met Nancy, he’d dated a lengthy list of beauties and he could safely say that each of the relationships had eventually ended on his terms, not his partner’s. Whether his success with women had been partly due to his being a Donovan was a question he’d not considered that much. Until last night when Vanessa had flung the fact in his face.
Obviously he’d lost his touch. Or maybe the long marriage battle he’d endured with Nancy had taken away his innate ability to deal with a woman. Whatever the reason, he’d clearly done everything wrong when he’d proposed to Vanessa last night.
Glancing at his watch, he noted it was a quarter to eight. Normally Vanessa had arrived by now. Especially on a Monday. But he’d not heard any stirrings in the outer office and he was beginning to wonder if she’d decided to skip work altogether today. Or maybe she was going to quit and was planning to call and let the gavel drop on him.
Thrusting fingers through his dark hair, he pressed fingertips against his scalp. Tiny men were pounding sledgehammers just beneath his skull, a result of drinking too many beers last night after Vanessa had taken the babies and gone home, he thought grimly. He’d never been one to indulge in alcohol, but after the fiasco in the gazebo, he needed some sort of relief. Now he was paying for it with a doozy of a headache.
A hard knock on the doorjamb had him wincing and he glanced around to see Liam striding into his office.
“What’s with all the roses in Vanessa’s office? Did someone break into a florist shop this morning or something?” he asked.
With an awkward shrug, Conall admitted, “I broke into Grandma’s rose garden. I knew it would be useless to drive to town and try to bribe a shop owner to open up and deliver this morning.”
His brows arched with curiosity, Liam glanced over his shoulder toward the outer office. “I didn’t realize your secretary was that important to you. What is today, secretary’s day or something? If it is, Gloria is out of luck.”
Conall grunted. “The only thing Gloria ever expects from you is win photos to put on the wall behind her desk.”
“That’s all?” he countered with sarcasm. “It would be a hell of a lot easier to raid Grandma’s flower garden and blame it on the gardener.”
Conall walked over to the coffeepot and refilled his mug. “Coffee?” he asked his brother.
“No. I’m in a hurry. I’m missed you at breakfast, so I wanted to let you know I was shipping Red Garland to Del Mar today, along with a few others.”
He looked around at Liam. “To Del Mar? Now?”
Liam rolled his eyes with impatience. “Have you forgotten she’s entered in the Debutante? That’s only a month away and I want her to get accustomed to the Pacific climate and the Polytrack before race time.”
Actually it had slipped Conall’s mind that the filly would be traveling to the west coast to run in the prestigious race at one of the most famous tracks in California. “Sorry, brother, I guess the time has slipped up on me.”
“Geez, Conall. What’s going on with you? From the moment she was born Red Garland has always been your darling. And you’ve forgotten about her first stakes debut?”
Conall had been in the foaling barn, watching when Red Garland entered the world. Only hours later, the baby girl had left her mother’s side to investigate Conall’s outstretched hand and something about her trust had touched him, had gotten to him in a way no human ever had. Since then, she’d grown up to be an outstanding runner that had quickly stunned race fans with her ability to outdistance herself from the rest of the pack. Conall was extremely proud of her. He was also very attached to the filly. Something he normally didn’t allow himself to be with the horses they raised and raced.
Conall glanced at his brother’s incredulous expression. “Maybe you haven’t noticed but I’ve had a lot going on here lately,” he said, then shoved out a heavy breath. “Anyway, I’m glad you came by to say you were leaving. I…well, I’ll be honest, I hate for her to be shipped all the way to California.”
Liam frowned. “Why? We ship horses out there all the time.”
Conall felt like a soppy idiot. “I know. It’s just that…anything might happen. That Polytrack surface is unpredictable.”
“So is the dirt.”
“She might hurt herself. With an injury that could end her career or even kill her,” Conall pointed out, even though both men were already well aware of that fact. “But you’re the trainer. You know what she can handle best.”
Liam shook his head. “Hell, Conall. You’re my brother. I don’t want to do anything against your wishes.”
With a self-effacing grunt, Conall placed his coffee mug on the edge of the desk. “What’s the matter with me, Liam? I’ve never gotten this soppy over any of our horses before. I’ve never let myself. Because…well, we both know anything can happen to lose them.”
“Sometimes
something or someone comes along to remind us we’re not machines,” Liam said thoughtfully, then added, “I’ll scratch Red Garland from the Debutante and leave her here. We’ll lose the entry fee, but what the hell. She’s already won that much a thousand times over.”
“No, she’s going,” Conall said with sudden firmness. “She deserves her chance to be great.”
A wry smile touched Liam’s lips. “Well, she stands a good chance to win a pile of money.”
“Yeah. But money isn’t everything,” Conall replied.
Liam grunted in agreement. “Sometimes it doesn’t mean anything at all.”
Satisfied that things were settled with the situation, Liam turned to leave the room, but before he disappeared out the door, Conall called to him, “Thanks, again, Liam. For coming by and reminding me about Red Garland’s race. Will you be following the horses out today or tomorrow?”
“Today and I’m taking three grooms with me.”
Conall lifted his hand in farewell. “Travel safely and I’ll see you when you get back.”
“You want to drive to the airport and see Red Garland off this afternoon?” Liam asked in afterthought.
“No. I’d rather meet her there when she gets back.”
With a nod of understanding, Liam left the office and Conall forced himself to sit down at his desk.
Five minutes later, he heard the outer door to the office open and close and then Vanessa’s light footsteps cross the tile. Normally, she went straight to the closet they shared to store away her purse and whatever sort of wrap she was wearing but so far the closet hadn’t opened.
He forced himself to wait another minute before he walked through the open door and into her section of the office. He found her standing in front of the desk, staring at the massive vase of pink roses he’d left for her.
Upon hearing his approach, she whirled around to face him. “What are these?”
Conall walked toward her. “Roses. To say I’m sorry if I hurt you last night. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t have any idea a marriage proposal would be so harrowing to you.”
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