He broke off as though he had second thoughts about his next words. Vanessa didn’t press him. She simply waited.
“Well,” he finally said, “no matter about the twins. I’m sure you’d love to have your father well again and back home. If it was my father, I certainly would.”
She smiled wanly. “More than anything. He’s all alone. And I have a feeling the twins would be good for him.”
“The twins are very special,” he said with undisguised warmth. “But you would be good for him, too. You have a way of making people around you feel better about themselves.”
With a shake of her head, she said, “You don’t have to overdo it, Conall.”
He mouthed a curse under his breath. “I’m not overdoing anything, Vanessa. If you… Well, you’ve made me realize that divorcing Nancy didn’t make me a criminal or a devil. Nor did it end my life.”
Curiosity sparked in her and she couldn’t stop herself from asking, “You were the one who wanted the divorce?”
He grimaced. “Yes,” he answered bluntly.
“Why?”
Sighing, he said, “We had fundamental differences in what we thought was important to our lives and our marriage. But in the end she…betrayed me in a way that was unforgivable.”
Had Nancy cheated on Conall with another man? She’d never met the woman who’d once been in the Donovan family, but she found it hard to imagine her committing adultery on a man that was breathtakingly sexy, unless the cheating had been more about her unhappiness. “You don’t believe in forgiveness?” she asked.
A wry twist to his lips, he said, “I can forgive, Vanessa. But forgiving wouldn’t have fixed the problem.”
“Oh.”
He looked at her. “Let’s not waste this evening talking about such things. It’s in the past and that’s where it’s going to stay. So tell me some of your favorite foods and we’ll decide where to eat.”
He obviously wanted to change the subject and Vanessa could understand why. She didn’t particularly enjoy talking about Jeff and the mistakes she made with him. No doubt Conall felt the same.
“All right,” she agreed, “I like anything I can eat with my hands. How about a hamburger?”
He flashed her a grin. “I knew we’d be perfect together. You just proved it.”
Groaning inwardly, Vanessa could have told him there wasn’t such a thing as being perfect together. Maybe for a few minutes at a time, but not for a lifetime. But she kept the cynical thought to herself. Now that she’d agreed to spend the evening with Conall, she didn’t want to spoil their time together with more useless arguments.
Once they reached town, Vanessa started to give Conall directions to the nursing home, but he quickly interrupted.
“I know where it is, Vanessa. I’ve been there many times.”
She looked at him with surprise. “I didn’t realize any of your family had been incapacitated. From what Maura’s told me, your grandfather’s death was rather quick.”
“I’ve not had a family member living in Gold Aspen Manor. But Liam’s assistant stayed there until…his death.”
By now they had reached the one-story, ranch-style building that sat in a carved out area of a wooded foothill. Slanted parking slots skirted a wide front lawn where sprinklers were going and a gardener was meticulously edging the sidewalk. It was a quiet and beautiful place, but Vanessa cringed each time she walked through the doors. She wanted her father to be whole and well again. She wanted him to be back on his little patch of land, scratching out a small garden and tending his goats.
“I didn’t realize Liam ever had an assistant,” she admitted. “I took it for granted that he’d always worked alone.”
Conall cut the motor, but didn’t make any hurried moves to depart the truck. “No. Before Liam was experienced enough to take on the task of being head trainer, Cletis—we called him Clete—was the man. He mentored Liam, then after handing the reins over to him, continued to work alongside my brother until about three years ago when his health began to fail. Liam’s not been the same since the old man passed away.”
“I can understand that. I’ve not been the same since my mother passed,” Vanessa sadly admitted. “Everything that once was important to me now looks so different, almost trivial.”
His expression suddenly sober, he let out a long breath. “Yeah. Well, Clete didn’t have a family. He regarded Liam as a son. And Liam doesn’t think anyone could ever fill Clete’s boots. That’s mainly why he continues to work himself to death instead of hiring a new assistant.” With a wry expression, he reached over and touched her hand. “Come on, that’s enough about that stuff. Let’s go see your father.”
To Vanessa’s delight they found Alonzo outside, seated around a patio table with a group of men who were also patients at the Gold Aspen Manor. As soon as the older man spotted her approach, he rose from his chair and held out his arms to her.
Leaving Conall’s side, she rushed to her father and hugged him tight. After he’d kissed both her cheeks, he put her away from him with a strength that surprised her.
“Wow, you’re awfully spry this evening,” she said with a happy laugh. “What have they been feeding you around here, spinach?”
Alonzo’s dark wrinkled face split into a grin for his daughter. “Can’t stand that stuff. Meat. Fresh meat. That’s what’s done it.”
Pressing her cheek against his, she hugged him once again, before gesturing toward Conall, who was standing a few steps behind her. “I brought someone with me tonight, Dad. You remember Conall?”
The old man’s brown eyes flickered with surprise, quickly followed by pleasure. “Sure, sure. Donovan. That right?”
Smiling, Conall stepped forward and reached to shake her father’s hand. “That’s exactly right, Mr. Valdez. It’s good to see you again.”
The other man nodded with approval. “Good to see you. Yes.”
Looping her arm through his, Vanessa asked, “Do you think you can make it over to that empty table where we can sit down and talk?”
To her surprise, he pushed away her helping hand. “Show you. Watch,” he said proudly.
Moving aside, she stood next to Conall and watched as Alonzo walked slowly but surely the twenty-foot distance to the empty table.
“Your father looks like he’s doing great to me,” Conall said under his breath.
She glanced up at him with pleased wonder. “I’ve never seen his back so straight and he’s actually lifting his feet and putting them down instead of shuffling. He’s improved so much from just a week ago.”
Giving the side of her waist an encouraging squeeze, he inclined his head toward Alonzo. “Let’s join him.”
For the next forty minutes the three of them talked about the twins, then on to several local happenings, until finally the two men began to reminisce about the time Alonzo restored one of the Diamond D horse barns. Vanessa hadn’t been aware that her father had ever contracted work for the Donovans or that he’d known the family so personally. But that didn’t begin to describe the shock she felt when Conall suddenly scooted his chair close to Vanessa’s and curled his arm around her shoulders in a completely possessive way.
“Alonzo, has your daughter told you that I’ve asked her to marry me?”
The old man appeared stunned and then he turned accusing eyes upon his daughter. “She did not tell me.”
Conall shot her a devilish smile. “Why haven’t you told your father about us?”
It was all Vanessa could do to stop herself from kicking his shins beneath the table. “Because it—” Jerking her eyes off Conall’s expectant face, she looked over to her father. “Because I told him no!”
Alonzo studied her closely. “Why?”
“Yeah, why?” Conall echoed the older man’s question.
She wanted to kill the man for putting her on the spot like this in front of her father. And yet, a part of her felt ridiculously warm and wanted and a bit like a princess to have Conall Donovan declaring to
her father that he wanted to marry her.
“Because I—” She turned a challenging look on Conall. “I want a husband who will love me.”
Alonzo’s sharp gaze leveled on Conall and then after a moment he chuckled. The sound didn’t just stun Vanessa, it also angered her.
“That’ll come,” Alonzo said with beaming confidence. “Later.”
Jumping to her feet, she tugged on Conall’s arm. “We’ve got to be going. Now!”
Conall didn’t argue and after she gave her father a quick goodbye, the two of them hurried around to a side exit of the building and on to the parked truck.
As he helped her climb into the cab, she hissed under her breath, “What the hell were you doing back there?”
“Telling Alonzo my intentions toward his daughter,” he answered easily. “As far as I’m concerned, that’s the respectable thing for a man to do.”
“But you did it on purpose!”
“Of course I did it on purpose.” As she settled herself in the seat, he shut the door and rounded the truck. Once he was under the wheel and starting the engine, he said, “I don’t say things just to be saying them, Vanessa.”
Groaning helplessly, she swiped a hand across her forehead. “Now Dad is going to be wondering about us and expecting—”
“What?”
“Me to marry you. That’s what. He likes and respects you and he’s been telling me that I need a husband. It’s all simple logic to him.”
Conall smiled. “He did appear pleased about the whole thing. But I always did think your father was a wise man.”
Latching on to his last words, she jerked her head around to stare at him in wonder. “You never cease to surprise me, Conall.”
“Why?” he asked with a puzzled frown. “What have I done now?”
Suddenly her heart was melting like candy clutched in a warm palm. Maybe he didn’t love her outright, but he was good in so many other ways that she was beginning to wonder if she was crazy for refusing to marry him. “Nothing. You complimented my father. Did you really mean that when you called him wise?”
He backed the truck onto the street and directed it down the steep street. “Like I said, I don’t say things just to be saying them. Your dad has weathered plenty of storms and he’s done it without bending or begging. He’s worked hard all his life and managed to hold his land and his home together. That takes wisdom.” He glanced at her. “Plus he knew how to keep your mother happy. I could see that each time I saw them together in church. They looked at each other the same way my parents look at each other.”
She swallowed hard as emotions thickened her throat. “You mean…with love?”
His features tightened ever so slightly. “I’d rather call it respect.”
Vanessa couldn’t argue that respect was a key ingredient in a marriage. But it wasn’t enough to keep her heart warm and full. It didn’t thrill her or fill her with hunger or need or joy.
“By all means call it that if it makes you feel safer,” Vanessa told him as she unconsciously reached up and touched the rose he’d placed above her ear. “I prefer to call it what it is.”
They ate at a tiny café on the northwest side of town called the Sugar Shack, in tribute to the decadent homemade desserts that were served there. Over the casual dinner, all mention of love and marriage, or anything close to it, was avoided by both of them and eventually Vanessa was able to relax and enjoy the good food.
Once the meal was over and they exited the building, she pressed a hand to her stomach and groaned. “I’ve not eaten that much in ages. I’ll probably have nightmares tonight after stuffing myself.”
“I have a perfect place for you to walk some of that meal off,” he suggested slyly.
Spend more time with this man? Alone? The sane, sensible and smart thing for her to do would be go straight home. He made her crazy and on edge, yet at the same time he made her undeniably happy. She was at a loss as to how to deal with the contradictory feelings, especially when a part of her was screaming to simply give up and give in to her desires.
“I really should get back home and give Hannah some relief.”
He moved his arm around the back of her waist and guided her toward the truck. “I promise you, Hannah and the twins can make it without you for a little while longer. And if you don’t feel like doing any walking, we can always do a little stargazing.”
Her mouth opened to utter another protest, but that was as far as her resistance would take her. “All right,” she conceded. “It would be nice to stay out a little longer.”
“That’s exactly what I was thinking.”
Once they were back in the truck, he drove northwest until most of the town was behind them. After turning onto a narrow dirt road, they wound upward through a tall stand of pines and spruce trees until they were near the crest of the mountain. Just when she’d decided he was probably taking her to a state campground, the road ended and the forest opened up. Beyond the beam of headlights she could see some sort of house constructed of cedar wood and native rock.
“Is this your place?” she asked as he parked the truck near a big blue spruce.
“It belongs to the Diamond D,” he answered. “We have guests, horse buyers, or out-of-town friends fly in to attend the races and this place is a lot closer to the track than the ranch. Our city friends especially enjoy the privacy.” He reached to release his seat belt. “Let’s get out and I’ll show you around.”
Once he helped Vanessa down from the truck, he took a firm hold on her hand. “Be careful and watch your step,” he warned as they started toward the house. “Dad doesn’t want to install a yard light up here. Says it would ruin the effect. So at night it’s dark as hell.”
“The moon is rising,” she remarked as she cast an observing glance at the eastern sky. “That gives us walking light.”
The back part of the structure sat on the edge of the mountainside, while the front was supported with huge wooden pillars. She figured the Donovans considered this a mere mountain cabin, but to regular folks like her it was more like an opulent getaway.
The two of them climbed long steps up to a wide planked deck that also served as a porch. Conall led her over to the far end and they leaned against a waist-high wooden railing to gaze beyond the surrounding forest to a majestic view of the valley below.
“It’s beautiful up here!” she said with quiet wonder.
He said, “Well, you can’t exactly get the full effect of the view in the moonlight, but we’ll come back again when the sun is out and the weather is nice. You’ll really appreciate it then.”
His suggestion implied that he planned to spend more personal time with her. The idea thrilled her, yet troubled her. No doubt the more time she spent with him, the more she would fall in love with him. And where would that eventually leave her? Loving a man who was unable to love her in return?
No. She didn’t want to think about that right now. Since her divorce more than a year ago, she’d kept a high fence around herself. Before she’d taken even the tiniest of steps, she’d stopped and looked in all four directions to make sure she wasn’t about to be waylaid by something or someone. Careful, cautious and controlled, that was how she’d lived her life since her marriage had ended. Now she was struck with the reckless urge to break free of those cold boundaries, to let herself live and feel again. No matter the painful consequences.
Sighing, she turned toward him. “I’m glad you asked me out tonight,” she admitted.
His smile was full of doubt. “That’s hard to believe. I haven’t exactly been one of your favorite people since…well, since that morning at the office when I wanted to make love to you.”
The memory of that incident still had the power to heat her cheeks and she was grateful the darkness masked the telltale color on her cheeks. “Make love to me? Don’t you mean you wanted to have sex with me?”
In the silver moonlight she could see a grimace cross his face. “I was trying to be tactful. Making love sounds
better.”
“I’d prefer honesty over sounding nice.” She directed her gaze away from his face to a dark corner of the deck. “Actually, I should tell you that I was angrier at myself that day than I was with you.”
His hand released hers only to wrap around her upper arm. Since her dress was sleeveless, the feel of his fingers against her bare skin was like throwing drops of water into a hot skillet. The sizzle vibrated all the way down to her toes.
He said, “I don’t understand.”
She dared to look up at his shadowed face. “You should understand, Conall. It’s not smart of me to want you. But I do,” she added in a whisper.
Suddenly the hand that had been burning a ring around her arm slid upward until his long fingers were curved against her throat. No doubt he could feel the hammering of her pulse and knew exactly what his touch was doing to her. But then, he’d probably always known how weak and utterly helpless he made her.
“You shouldn’t have been angry with either one of us,” he murmured. “And if it’s honesty you want, I can truthfully say I want you, Vanessa. More than I’ve ever wanted any woman.”
From any other man, a trite line like that would have garnered a groan of disgust from Vanessa, but coming from Conall she wanted to believe it was uttered with sincerity. Oh, yes, to think he desired her over any other woman was more than a heady thought. But thinking, wondering, deciding what was right or wrong was quickly taking a backseat. Instead of her brain, her heart had taken control and it was urging her body to press against his, begging her arms to wrap around his waist.
“Don’t say any more, Conall. Just show me.”
She heard him suck in a sharp breath and then his lips were suddenly hovering over hers.
“Vanna. Vanna.”
The repeated whisper of her nickname was like a warm, sweet caress and she sighed ever so slightly before his lips latched on to hers, his hands slid to the small of her back and pressed her body into his.
She’d expected his kiss to be a lazy, searching seduction, but it was anything but. His lips were rampaging over hers, taking her breath and searing her senses with the depth of his desire. She tried to match his movements, tried to give back to him, but he’d taken total control and all she could do was surrender to the ravaging passion.
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