Mirror Sword and Shadow Prince

by Noriko Ogiwara

  “Because I do want to stay, that’s what. How can you be so stupid?” Toko yelled. “Sugaru is better than you? Instead of wasting your time telling me what I already know, why don’t you try to become stronger? I don’t want to die either. But I made a commitment to stay right here with you even if it meant death. I don’t care what you say, I’m not leaving you.”

  “I don’t want you to stay,” Oguna insisted, just as cross as Toko. “I’d rather you were far away than to have to watch you die in front of me.”

  “Why don’t you try cheering me up instead? Why don’t you tell me you’re going to try to live, with me, together?”

  “Because that would be a lie. You know that, Toko.”

  They stood staring at one another. After a tense pause, Toko said quietly, “There are times when I’d rather be lied to.”

  “If you were the same Toko as the girl from my childhood,” Oguna said hesitantly, “then maybe I could ask you to stay here with me. And you’d probably be safe. But that’s not what you mean, is it? And I can’t see you as a little girl anymore. Now that you’re here in front of me, I know that.”

  “That’s why you won’t tell me what I want to hear?” Toko felt her cheeks burn and was annoyed with herself. “You’re saying you don’t want me near you because I’m not the same girl I was in the past?”

  “I can’t keep you here without exposing you to the power of the Sword,” Oguna protested. “Being angry with me isn’t going to change that. Because you’re a woman. How can I stop myself from loving you as a woman? If we’re together … then there are things that I would want. And I don’t think anyone could blame me for that.”

  Sugaru suddenly poked his head out of the bushes. “Well, I wondered what you were quarreling about, but now I see it’s just a domestic spat.”

  Oguna started and turned bright red, even to the tips of his ears. Toko thought her own face must be on fire. “How could you!” she spluttered. “How long have you been eavesdropping?”

  “Since you landed him that nice fat wallop,” Sugaru responded calmly. He looked at Oguna and chuckled. Finger marks still showed on Oguna’s cheek. “You hit the crown prince. It ought to do him good.”

  “You’re one to talk,” Oguna said sullenly.

  “I’ve no intention of interfering. There’s no point. But there’s something I wanted to tell you. If you’ve come this far, there’s only one thing you can do. Accept it. Acknowledge the fact that you’re gambling against the odds. Personally, I think this could be an interesting match. Count me in.”

  “Just because it’s not your problem doesn’t mean it’s okay to poke fun at us,” Toko snapped.

  “I meant that I’m willing to help you. To the extent possible, anyway.”

  “How?” Oguna asked him uneasily.

  Seeing his expression, Sugaru answered merrily, “I’ll be Toko’s shield. I’ll protect her from your scary mother. That should make it a more even contest. Just remember that I’m not the one who can vanquish that beast. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t do it. It’s you who will be tested.”

  2

  TOKO FOUND THAT the addition of Sugaru made her relationship with Oguna that much more complicated. Just as she had been acutely conscious of Oguna’s mother coming between her and Oguna, now Oguna seemed keenly sensitive to the close bond between Toko and Sugaru. As it was not rational, no amount of explanation would change anything. This is really quite difficult, she kept thinking.

  Having confessed their love for one another, Toko and Oguna felt even more awkward than before. Toko realized that Oguna seemed somehow aloof, but she hesitated to pursue him. With Sugaru constantly there, she kept losing her nerve. At night, Oguna went out as usual, but she did not know how he dealt with the power of the Sword.

  Their private problems, however, were superseded abruptly by the demands of daily life. War had begun. Though it would be Toko’s first battle with Oguna’s troops, war for soldiers was inevitable. Hidakami was situated far deeper into Emishi territory than Sagamu. Power struggles among the Emishi had already escalated, and the arrival of soldiers from Mahoroba naturally aggravated the conflicts. Word reached Oguna’s company that the Emishi were mustering several hundred warriors, and the situation grew tense. It would be impossible to pressure such a large group into submission. They would have to use force in what was likely to be a fairly evenly matched battle.

  “The time has come to test our strength,” Oguna told his men. “The emperor has sent us here for this very purpose—to overcome this obstacle. Victory won here will bring you great honor and distinction.”

  As Toko watched Oguna, the seasoned military commander, she thought, This is the world as he sees it—conflict within and without …

  Toko’s life since the war in Mino had not been exactly tranquil either. She was much more accustomed to war than many women. Thus, it never occurred to her to sit idly by as the troops began their feverish preparations.

  “What’s gotten into you?” Sugaru asked, surprised to see Toko garbed once again in men’s hakama and with her hair tied in a ponytail.

  “I should be asking you that question. Why aren’t you helping?” Toko asked.

  “I have no intention of helping the emperor subjugate other people.”

  “That’s rather ungrateful considering that Oguna’s troops are feeding you.”

  “I don’t hold any grudge against the Emishi.”

  “Neither do I. But I can’t stand by and watch Oguna’s men be killed,” Toko insisted.

  “Do you intend to stay here even during the battle?” Sugaru said in disbelief. “No one else is expecting you to do that. In fact, I plan to remove you to safety until things settle down.”

  “Well, I’m not going,” Toko said. “In my opinion, the more helping hands there are, the fewer people will die. You should help too, Sugaru.”

  When Takehiko saw Sugaru helping his men prepare for this decisive battle, he looked skeptical. “Since when have you been on our side in a war? You’re going against your word.”

  “Toko won’t take no for an answer,” Sugaru said grumpily. “She’s so stubborn.”

  “You stayed because of Lady Toko?”

  “What excuse could I give to seek safety all by myself when I promised to protect her? Mind you, I wasn’t talking about war when I promised.”

  “What’s going on here?” Takehiko exclaimed. “Are you the one who’s really in love with Lady Toko?”

  “Nope.”

  “Hmm.” Takehiko pondered this for a moment. “Oh well, forget it. I’ll never understand the three of you. And we can certainly use your help. With the prince on our side, I don’t expect to lose, but still, you never know what could happen in a place like this.”

  AFTER ANNOUNCING that they would attack at daybreak, Oguna donned his armor though it was not yet dusk. This time he would not be alone in his vigil—the entire company would be up all night. He probably has no time to even think about that creature, Toko thought. And no time to spend with me either … She had not spoken with him for the last few days. Even though he was the only reason she had stayed. She was ashamed at herself for wishing it could be otherwise, but she had to accept that that was how she felt. She did not understand Oguna, and the more she loved him, the more anxious she became. Things were so much simpler before. I was satisfied just to love him. Why can’t it be the same now?

  Though they longed for each other, the littlest things kept the pair from expressing their true feelings. It would have been no comfort to Toko to know that all lovers go through such trials. Death stalked the love between her and Oguna far too closely. It was impossible to be patient when they had so little time to accomplish so much.

  There would be no moonrise that evening for it was the time of the new moon. Instead, the winter stars shone brightly. Toko, shivering with cold, was counting them when she heard a faint clanking of metal. Oguna appeared before her, his armor gleaming faintly in the starlight like a river in the dark. “My
men laud your courage in staying even though we stand on the brink of battle. They call you a brave woman.” Oguna spoke in the regal tone of a prince. After a slight pause, he added, “But I know something they don’t. I know the terrible memories that war must bring back for you. Yet still you chose to stay. You’re braver than any of us.”

  “If I had just sat down and cried when we lost Mino, I would not be who I am today.” Toko spoke slowly, but inside her heart raced at the thought that Oguna had come here just to speak with her. “Instead of hiding myself away, I went out and learned. The tests I faced made me stronger. I still hate war. But I won’t let it overwhelm me with terror.”

  Because I have faced something far more terrifying, she thought. It’s all relative.

  “You give me courage. I have so much to learn from you.”

  “What could you, the commander of an army, possibly learn from me?”

  Oguna looked at her. With his armor glinting, he seemed somehow un-approachable, and Toko felt uncomfortable under his gaze.

  “I’m going to sever myself from the Sword.” He spoke very quietly. “I have to find it in me to do that. No one can take the place of my mother, yet it was my own weakness that made her into what she has become. I must lay that creature to rest. You are more important, and in order to be with you, I must seal away the Sword.”

  Toko started. Her voice rose. “No. If you kill her, you’ll die too. If that’s the case, then what’s the point?”

  “I didn’t say I was going to kill her,” Oguna said gently. “I’m going to lock her away inside of me, as part of myself. To even attempt it will mean laying my life on the line, but pain is unavoidable. I never had the courage to try before. I didn’t know if I could really live with the Sword as part of myself … I didn’t know if it was even permissible.” The intensity of his gaze told Toko how heavily this question had weighed on him. Tears welled in her eyes at the burden he bore just by wanting to live.

  “Promise me that you’ll do your very best to survive—so that we can be together. That’s all I’m going to think about.”

  “It means so much to me that you’re here, Toko. Do you know that?”

  “I stayed purely for my own sake, though. To satisfy my own need,” Toko said humbly. She had never felt so happy in her life. The gloom that had weighed upon her only a moment ago seemed to have evaporated as if it had never been.

  “I’m not going to use the Sword in this battle,” Oguna said. “I’m going to fight to the end without it. And when the battle is over, I will come to you. If you don’t mind.” Toko knew immediately what he meant, but just to be sure, he added, “I’ll stay with you until morning if that’s all right.”

  Toko meant to answer boldly, but she barely managed a whisper. “That would make me very happy.”

  Oguna’s armor made it too awkward to embrace, so he contented himself with a light kiss after which Toko ran away, embarrassed not by his kiss but rather by the fact that she wanted more.

  THAT NIGHT TOKO learned that hope multiplies fear many times over. Oguna had declared that he would not use the Sword, no matter what. But that meant he would be as vulnerable as any other man. He could be slain by a single arrow. The tense atmosphere in the camp and the sound of people moving about kept her awake most of the night. She lay down in her tent but left the oil lamp burning. She must have dozed off for a second, however, for when she looked up she saw a woman standing in the lamplight, tall, beautiful, dressed in white with long black hair—Princess Momoso, Oguna’s mother.

  “What do you want with me?” Toko said sharply. “You must begone. That’s what Oguna said.”

  I know. That child is trying to cut me out of his heart. He is making a grave mistake.

  “How can you say it’s a mistake? You’re dead already. It’s wrong to cling to that form for so long.”

  Why do you think I sacrificed my life for that child? The woman asked only to answer her own question. Because his life is short. As a priestess, I can foresee what will happen. If I do nothing, his father will kill him. But with my power I can protect him. From his father, the emperor.”

  Toko was at a loss for words. “His own father would kill him?” she asked finally.

  The emperor fears him. He fears the godly power he sees in the one who can wield the Sword.

  “But that’s … Then there’s all the more reason that Oguna should not wield the Sword.”

  Once I’m gone, his father will kill him. Princess Momoso’s voice was cold. I cannot be cut out or sealed away so easily. If that child still insists on trying, I will aid the emperor in his attempts to kill him. I will kill my son so that we can be reunited. We can be one again, like we were before he was born.

  Toko shivered. “Do you want to cling to Oguna that badly?”

  Of course. He is mine. I will not let him choose another. She reached out and grasped Toko’s chin between her icy fingers. Toko froze and stared up at her, unable to move. How dare he neglect me for someone as lowly as you?

  Where’s Sugaru? Toko wondered desperately. He was supposed to be her shield. Where was he now that she needed him?

  Princess Momoso smiled slightly. But I can see that you are not an ordinary girl. Your heart does not cease beating even when I touch you. And I suppose on closer inspection you are pretty enough. Toko sensed a shift inside the woman, like a shadow falling on the water’s surface. She held her breath, waiting to see what Oguna’s mother would say.

  Give me your body. If that boy fancies you, then I will be you. We’re the same, you and I. We both want him to live. We want to be by his side. We want him to love us. You see? We’re the same.

  “No! We’re not the same at all,” Toko shouted. “You’re his mother. That’s your son you’re talking about.”

  I want to be with him now and forever, the woman continued. To always gaze upon his face. I could not bear it if he turned away or forgot me. I would rather use my power to kill him. If you would but relinquish your place to me, however, there would be no need for him to die. I could possess your body and live with him for eternity. You do not want him to die either, do you? We’re the same.

  Toko felt ill. Logic made no impact on this apparition. The only thing this woman had was her will. “No, I won’t. I can’t let you do that.”

  How narrow-minded you are. You wish to control him and keep him to yourself. Will you force me to kill him because of your selfishness?

  “No!” Toko shook her head. “You can’t. That’s not love. It doesn’t matter what you say, that’s just plain wrong. What possible good can it do you to cling to Oguna like that?”

  You don’t understand anything, do you? Princess Momoso said. He exists only because I protect him. Make me your enemy and you will see just how helpless he is without me.

  A shiver ran down Toko’s spine. “What are you planning to do to him?” she cried. “Why won’t you rest in peace and leave him alone?” The apparition cast her a cold look. Toko thought she saw a black shadow spread its wings behind the woman.

  The choice is yours: you or the boy. That is all that you can do—choose.

  Drenched in a cold sweat, Toko opened her eyes. The apparition melted into the shadow cast by the oil lamp. Leaping to her feet, Toko flew out of the tent to look for Sugaru. He was right outside, warming himself by the fire.

  “Sugaru! You didn’t even come!”

  Sugaru looked up at the fuming Toko with a puzzled frown. “What do you mean? I looked in a minute ago, but you were sleeping so soundly I didn’t bother to wake you.”

  “Well, you should have! That evil creature came to me in my sleep. Instead of appearing before Oguna, tonight she came to me.”

  Once again Toko felt the woman’s fingers on her face and she began to shake violently. Sugaru held out a bamboo flask. “Here. Drink some of this. It’ll help you relax.”

  Although she knew it was sake, she drank it and then choked.

  “How does that feel?” Sugaru asked.

  �
�It burns.”

  “It’s too strong for you. It’s yashio-ori, quite a potent brew.”

  More than the sake, it was Sugaru’s behavior that helped Toko calm down. She told him what had happened.

  “That’s good news,” Sugaru said, ever the optimist. “It means that Oguna has distanced himself from the power—far enough that the creature panicked and threatened you. And don’t you dare give in to that threat, either. Just let her be.”

  “But I can’t help worrying about Oguna.” Toko found it hard to believe it was an empty threat. The woman’s words had seemed to imply a hidden meaning. “Why now, when we’re on the verge of war? Anything could happen. Sugaru, please, protect Oguna. Don’t worry about me.”

  Sugaru shrugged and rolled his eyes. “I knew you’d say that. I’m not here to carry love letters for you two, you know. Don’t expect me to go just because you asked.”

  But Toko ignored him. Love made her strong. Yet even as she sought desperately to ensure Oguna’s safety, doubt crossed her mind. Princess Momoso’s words echoed in her head. We’re the same, you and I.

  Is there a difference? Between my feeling and hers? Toko thought. Is there really any difference between us?

  3

  THE WAR was not going well. Faced with their first real setback, the soldiers were frustrated and tense. Even Toko could see that. Being at the rear, she had no way of grasping the whole picture, but she could sense the tide of events in her very skin. The feeling of defeat—like loose soil swept away by a surging torrent—was something she already knew well from Mino. At times, her heart beat so wildly she thought it must break.

  Oguna’s mother is planning to beat him down. She’s pushing him into a corner so that he’ll have no choice but to use the Sword. He’s bound to give in. Who wouldn’t in the face of such pressure? But whether she liked it or not, there was nothing she could do. Even if she could use the Misumaru to fly to Oguna’s side, it would not help to either scold or encourage him. Oguna’s will was his own. And if, in the end, he failed to sever the bond with his mother, Toko could not complain, for she did indeed want the same thing as his mother. While Toko might hate the way Oguna’s mother protected him, as long as she did so, Oguna would survive. He would live.