Everything Is Figureoutable

by Marie Forleo

  There’s an elegant typography video of Ira’s spoken words that I highly recommend by filmmaker David Shiyang Liu. Search online for Ira Glass + David Shiyang Liu video to find it. Watch it daily until this truth seeps into every cell.

  Figuring things out, creating real change, building skills, abilities, and understanding takes time and effort. Across all disciplines, concerning virtually all acts of creation—no matter who you are, what you want to do, achieve, experience, or solve . . .

  Progress not perfection is the only way to bridge the gap between your ability and your ambition.

  I’ve strived to mind the gap in every aspect of my life: from gaining physical strength at the gym, to renovating my home, to building a team, to developing my show MarieTV, which began on my old-school webcam with no editing, lighting, or film crew in sight.

  So please, cooperate with the creative process, don’t force it. Mind the gap.

  Bit by bit, piece by piece, day by day. Focus on progress not perfection and you will successfully cross that chasm.

  PROGRESS PUTS YOU IN A PRODUCTIVE MINDSET

  You’re in charge of your mind. You can help it grow by using it in the right way.

  Carol Dweck

  Carol Dweck, PhD, wrote one of my favorite books on this topic because it proves how the right mindset changes our behaviors and, most important, our results. In her book Mindset, Dweck, a Stanford University psychologist, discovered what she calls a “fixed mindset” versus a “growth mindset.”

  When you’re in a fixed mindset, you believe that talent—without the application of effort—creates success. You’re either born with it or you’re not, and there’s nothing you can do to change it. When in a fixed mindset, you’ll avoid challenges, resist criticism, and perform for approval. This set of beliefs, and the behaviors that flow from it, are destructive.

  In a growth mindset, you believe that your most basic abilities—like talent and intelligence—can be improved through effort, perseverance, and experience. In this mindset, whatever intelligence and abilities you’re born with are just the start. People in a growth mindset crave challenges, welcome constructive criticism, view setbacks as learning opportunities, and develop a passion for hard work and a hunger for growth. They know that getting better is a process. One that requires the right attitude and dedication over time.

  Here’s the best part. At any given moment, you can choose your mindset. And the results of that choice can be life changing. Dr. Dweck tells the story of a struggling student named Jimmy, whom she described as one of the most “hard-core turned-off low-effort kids.” After being taught about the fixed and growth mindset she writes that Jimmy “looked up with tears in his eyes and said, ‘You mean I don’t have to be dumb?’” From that moment on, Jimmy transformed. He stayed up late to do his homework and handed in assignments early, eager for feedback to improve. As Dweck wrote, “He now believed that working hard was not something that made you vulnerable, but something that made you smarter.”5

  Dweck highlights countless real-life examples of how these two different mindsets radically impact the results we create in our lives—from parenting to education to sports. The evidence is undeniable. When you operate through a fixed mindset, you suffer. When you operate with a growth mindset, you develop a love of learning and resilience that leads to fulfillment and extraordinary accomplishment.

  At this very moment, you can choose to put yourself in either a growth mindset or a fixed mindset. Just like you can choose progress instead of perfection. These are distinct choices with dramatically different outcomes. One leads to a life of pain and stagnation. The other to endless growth and fulfillment. Which will you choose?

  SIX TACTICS TO PRACTICE

  Use the following tactics to stay in the progress zone when the lure of perfectionism has pulled you off course.

  1. TAKE SMALL STEPS AND IGNORE BIG DRAMA

  Perfectionism loves drama. You’ll start to notice that even before you’ve taken any steps toward fulfilling a dream, perfectionism will chime in with endless, berating questions. Is my business idea even any good? How will I get it going? How am I going to manage dozens of people? What if I fail? What if I SUCCEED? I’ll probably ruin my family. Everyone will be jealous of me. I’ll lose friendships over this. Oh God, I’ll wind up divorced and alone for the rest of my life . . .

  Don’t indulge in this drama-fest. Keep your head down and do the work. Take small steps. Baby steps, even. Do them daily. Show up to the class. Build the prototype. Write your pages. Run your miles. Send the survey. Deposit one dollar. Be clean and sober for one hour. Whatever your dream is, get obsessed with making simple, daily progress. That’s it.

  You can scare yourself into stuckness by assuming you have to make radical life changes in order to make progress. You don’t. Real change is practically invisible as it’s happening. No trumpets sound. A marching band will not play at your door. Meaningful progress doesn’t feel particularly exciting. Most days, it feels like work. You show up, grind it out (sometimes joyfully, sometimes not), and repeat.

  So keep your eye on the prize: Take small steps daily and steer clear of big drama.

  2. PLAN AHEAD FOR PROBLEMS

  No matter how organized or motivated you are, things will knock you off track. From illness to technology fails to everyday interruptions, there will be loads of obstacles on your path. Anticipating and solving for them in advance is the key to steady progress. Here’s how to do it.

  First, think in microterms. What could derail your workday? Allowing text or email notifications? Taking unnecessary phone calls? Failing to stock the fridge? Then go bigger. What could take your whole project off track? Missed deadlines? Weather delays? Tech headaches? In our company, we noticed a pattern of delays related to design and development. We began to anticipate and solve for those problems in advance by regularly running through worst-case scenarios on any new project and brainstorming ways to handle them. It’s not a foolproof system, but it helps. Ask yourself, “What potential problems could arise? What can I plan for in advance (even if it’s my own emotional toughness) to mitigate the negative impact of potential problems? What do I need to do now in order to keep making progress?”

  3. EXPECT (AND EMBRACE) SELF-DOUBT

  After the novelty of chasing your big dream has subsided, chances are you’ll be swallowed by a tsunami of self-doubt. WHY did I say yes to this?! This is all wrong. I can’t do it. It’s too hard. I don’t have what it takes. Maybe I should just quit. Maybe I should change the whole thing and start from scratch. I hate this. I hate everything. I hate myself!

  Whether you’re getting in shape, building a product, writing a screenplay, launching a new business or career, healing a relationship, or running for office—expect self-doubt to punch you in the gut.

  I cannot emphasize how common this is. It usually happens more than once, especially on big projects. Everyone experiences this surge of self-doubt when moving beyond their comfort zone. This is a hallmark of progress, not a signal to stop.

  As repeatedly mentioned (because people so often forget!), setbacks happen. They’re not “signs from the Universe” that you should quit. (Obviously, if you discover you genuinely don’t want to pursue this dream or goal anymore, then yes. Stop. Move on to something else.)

  But if you’re feeling disheartened, take a breath. Remember that self-doubt is normal. No matter how successful or experienced you become, self-doubt never fully goes away. Instead of saying, What’s the point? ask yourself, What’s the next right move?

  4. ASK, “WHAT’S THE NEXT RIGHT MOVE?”

  After a setback, ask yourself this question: “What’s the next right move here?” Listen for the answer. It may be as simple as “drink a glass of water.” Or “sleep on it.” Or “you need some chips and hummus. Like, a lot of chips and hummus.” Sometimes the next right move is taking a break to gain a fresh perspective. Go for a run. Work
out. Dance. Meditate. Take some space. Call a trusted, experienced, and supportive friend.

  Or maybe when you ask yourself, “What’s the next right move here?” you’ll hear a response like, “That feedback stung, but there’s truth in it. Use that insight to get even better.” Or maybe you’ll hear, “Stop judging yourself and finish this damn paragraph.” Or perhaps, “Yes, we need to push our deadline back again. But we’re not quitting. Let’s refocus and keep going.”

  When you ask yourself, “What’s the next right move?” you’re directing your brain and heart to search for a productive answer.

  5. USE THE POWER OF POSITIVE QUITTING

  The old saying that quitters never win and winners never quit isn’t true. Sticking with something only because you’re afraid of looking like a loser is a terrible idea. There are times when you must be brave enough to cancel projects, goals, or relationships that no longer align with who you are or what you value.

  Let me introduce you to the power of positive quitting. Positive quitting is when you realize that you’ve gone as far as you possibly can. You’ve given it your very best effort and now it’s become clear—in your heart and soul—that the wisest and most productive next step is to cut your losses and move on.

  In the early years of my coaching business, I invested months of time and significant money into building a private online membership community. This project was all-consuming and stretched me financially. When I finally launched, I was so excited. Hundreds of folks had registered and paid for access.

  As soon as those new members started logging in, the entire thing crashed. I’m talking a totally frozen, tech-mess shitshow. Back then, I didn’t have a support team. I was beyond embarrassed, but as upset as I was, I composed myself enough to step back, evaluate the situation, and take decisive action.

  I pulled the plug. Naturally, I took care of my customers. I explained exactly what happened, transitioned them onto a stable, hosted platform, and delivered more than what I promised. But I wasn’t about to sink more money, more time, and more energy into that custom site just to prove I could figure it out.

  Sometimes, in the process of pursuing a project, you realize it’s not actually what you want. It’s clear: this is not what you want to keep doing. Even if your project doesn’t crash and burn, you might choose to walk away because you’re done. You’ve learned and experienced all you can and you’re ready for the next chapter. Think about it like a buffet. You don’t quit eating because something went horribly wrong. You stop eating when you’re satisfied.

  After about six years in dance and fitness, I wanted to devote 100 percent of my focus to my online business. So I walked away from my dance career. Not because there was anything wrong with it or because I failed, but because I was ready to evolve. Several years later, I decided to stop hosting an annual conference—one that generated over $1 million in revenue—not because there was anything wrong with the conference, but because I felt complete and wanted to work on other projects.

  Whether it’s a relationship, a career, or a project, just because something ends doesn’t mean it failed. Giving up isn’t the same as moving on. Don’t use “progress not perfection” to punish yourself and keep pursuing a dream that no longer serves you. If, after a certain amount of time, you sense that it’s time to pivot, do it. While there’s no cut-and-dry formula to make these kinds of decisions, you’ve already learned two tools that help.

  Tool #1. The Ten-Year Test. We first talked about this in chapter 7, and it’s particularly useful here. Imagine yourself ten years into the future and ask, “If I end this right now . . . will I regret it then?”

  When my expensive custom website crashed, I knew that in ten years’ time I’d barely remember it. Yes, it was frustrating and I lost some cash, but it wasn’t a soul goal. It was just one project that taught me many critical lessons.

  Tool #2. Complete the “What I Really Want” seven-day writing challenge from chapter 6. It works miracles to help you gain clarity.

  Also, revisit your Insight to Action Challenge work from chapter 6. Specifically, the second step: Get Real About This Dream. That’s where you listed all of the reasons why pursuing this goal is important to you. Do a gut check. Are those reasons still valid and true? If yes, keep going. If not, you might be ready to move on. It takes courage to pursue a dream, but when that dream no longer fits, it can take even more to end it.

  6. ABOVE ALL, CULTIVATE PATIENCE

  “But, Marie, I’ve been working on my __________ [business, acting, writing, music, sculptures, recipes, screenplays, research, etc.] for at least __________ [three weeks, three months, or three years, etc.] and I’m going nowhere. What’s wrong with me?! How long is this going to take?”

  Answer: As long as it does.

  Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the pop culture juggernaut Eat, Pray, Love, as well as seven other books so far, told me she didn’t make a dime off her writing for the first ten years. Then, for the next ten years (which were after already having three books published), she still relied on various jobs outside writing to stay afloat. That’s twenty years before she earned a living from her calling. During our MarieTV interview, Liz revealed a telling perspective on “doing whatever it takes” to support yourself as an artist. At fifteen, she made a sacred promise to her creativity. She said, “I will never ask you to provide for me financially, I will always provide for you.” She promised to take whatever jobs necessary to fund the basics (food, rent, etc.) so that her creativity never had to carry the burden of keeping the lights on.

  Steven Pressfield, author of a whopping seventeen titles, wrote for seventeen years before he earned his first penny as a writer—a $3,500 option on a screenplay that was never produced. He wrote for twenty-seven years before he got his first novel, The Legend of Bagger Vance, published. During all those years he worked twenty-one different jobs in eleven states.

  As you know, I maintained a small constellation of side jobs for seven years before I was confident enough—emotionally or financially—to rely solely on my business for full-time income. Throughout those years, I seized every moneymaking opportunity I could to pay the bills. I cleaned toilets. Worked thousands of shifts as a bartender and waitress. My dream of running my own business, on my own terms, doing exactly the kind of work that I do now, was so important that I was willing to do whatever it took, for as long as it took, to see it through.

  Cultivate patience. Don’t believe the myth that if you were a “real” __________ [artist, performer, activist, scientist, entrepreneur, etc.] that you’d make a full-time living from your work. Perhaps it’ll happen someday. But that’s not always true, no matter how hard you work. There are countless creatives who are legitimate and admired who also supplement their income through a variety of unrelated means—teaching, seasonal work, service jobs, or rental income.

  More importantly, there’s no shame in doing whatever it takes to keep a roof over your head. Never be embarrassed about doing honest work. To say we live in a culture of instant gratification is a gross understatement. Don’t get me wrong—I appreciate technology. But for some, it’s all but destroyed the ability to cultivate patience. With a smartphone, you can watch almost any form of entertainment on demand. You can access a breathtaking and ever-growing collection of music, art, literature, and education, all at a moment’s notice.

  But the ease and speed of tech toys doesn’t map to real life. To build skills, earn trust, develop a body of work, forge relationships, gain mastery, or solve complicated problems, it takes sustained, relentless effort. There are no shortcuts. If you’re not willing to work your ass off over an extended period of time (I’m talking years, not months), then be honest with yourself: that dream isn’t really that important to you. That’s okay. Drop it. Dig deeper. Find something you are willing to stick with and work for, no matter how long it takes.

  INSIGHT TO ACTION CHALLENGE

  Little by l
ittle becomes a lot.

  Anonymous

  As it relates to your dream or problem, what’s one thing you’re stopping yourself from exploring because you’re not willing to be anything less than perfect? Or, if you prefer, use this prompt:

  If I didn’t have to be perfect at it, I’d do/try/start _____________ to get closer to achieving my dream.

  Who might you become and what might you accomplish if you focused on progress not perfection? What might you learn? What strengths and skills could you develop?

  Plan (and solve for) problems in advance. Brainstorm a list of typical challenges, distractions, and obstacles that could impede your ability to make progress. Think: social media sinkholes, internet outages, group texts, self-doubt spirals, missed deadlines, daytime calls from the family, and not having food in the house.

  For instance, if group text messages interrupt you all day, one solution is to put your phone on airplane mode or turn your phone completely off during focus time.

  Whether the problem is internal or external, anticipate problems in writing and plan for solutions in advance.

  Turn inevitable self-doubt into productive self-talk. Whenever you notice your inner monologue trash-talking you into a sinkhole of self-doubt, use this trick. Add the word “yet” to the end of thoughts that veer toward negative, dead-end, fixed-mindset thinking. For extra oomph, brainstorm a list of all the negative things you say to yourself that keep you from moving ahead. For example: