“Junior year. I was your typical, dizzy, young woman. College life was overwhelming to a suburban girl like me. I admit, when I ran into you guys in college I wasn’t serious about relationships. A fling here and there, with no strings attached was every girls dream. Aaron was more serious about the relationship that I was, and one day during my study group, I began flirting with this cute guy.”
I sat there in disbelief as this woman poured out the secrets of her past. “My friends told me he had a crush on me and at first I didn’t believe them. He insisted to walk me back to my residence hall because it was late. Knowing full well that you guys went away for the weekend, I invited him up to my room for something to drink. My roommate was at a party and probably wouldn’t come back for a couple hours. Conversation turned into soft music, soft music turned into silence, silence turned into…kissing. Moments later, we were lost in ourselves.”
“Damn! I had no idea.”
“To make things worse, the guy would be extra nice to Aaron.”
“I think I remember that dude… Derrick?”
“Yes…”
“Aaron never said anything to me about it!”
“I know, I told him what happened a few days later, I thought he would leave me. He decided to stay with me and work it out. Aaron said he loved me more than ever before.”
“Aaron…huh,” He was a better man than me because I probably would have left her but look who’s talking.
“That’s why I will always love him and never, ever, betray him again. He could’ve had any girl on campus that he wanted, but he chose the road less traveled called forgiveness. And he never told anyone but God.”
“I’m still confused… Why are you telling me all this now?”
“You never know when your time is called to make a sacrifice. I’m just trying to help a friend that’s in need of some direction.”
“Diamond cuts diamond huh?”
“That’s right… I know you love that girl so don’t let it all end like this; an exclamation point. If Sasha loves you Jamal, she will forgive you, if she hasn’t already.”
“How did you know I still love her?”
“We women have a niche for these things.”
“It’s too late. She’s married isn’t she?”
“Not yet, but after tomorrow she will be, if you don’t say something.”
“What? She’s getting married tomorrow?”
“I’m sorry I put it out like this. For a few days I’ve been juggling to see if I should meddle in other people’s lives. I apologize if I said it out abrupt like this, but I figured better late than never.”
“Gee thanks Crystal.”
“They pushed it forward a week so they could have more time on their honeymoon or something, I’m not entirely sure but the important thing is its tomorrow so what are you going to do?”
“Well I don’t know, she probably doesn’t even want to see me and me and ceremonies are not exactly on a first name basis if you know what I mean?”
“Jamal, you once told me that you have to be willing to lose it all to gain it all.”
“Damn! I did say that huh?”
“Yes!”
“I love you, Crystal.”
“I love you too big head.”
We hugged and I dashed towards the door.
“Jamal where are you going?”
“To the mall for a new suit, call me crazy but I’ll give it a shot.”
“Then let it be your best shot Jamal or don’t try at all.”
“Got you, thanks.” I ran down the street to catch a cab, “Taxi!”
A dozen traffic lights and twelve dollars later, I rushed into the mall to catch the suit store before it closes. A store employee walked up to me, “Can I help you sir?”
“Yes you can… fifty two long, double breasted, Boss, white or off white.”
“We have a fine selection sir, follow me.”
“That one looks good.”
“Yes it just came in and it comes with the white vest as well, want to try it on?”
“Nah that’s too bright. I’m not trying to blind people.”
“Well look at this one, more casual than the other and lighter as well.”
“I’ll try it on, how long for alterations?”
“Ten or fifteen minutes.”
“Great, I’ll try this one on.”
“Sir…a perfect fit, what’s the occasion?”
“Occasion… My future.”
*******
“That’s how I found myself here Johnny.”
“What? You mean…”
“That’s right today is that day.”
“Hell of a story, what are you doing still waiting here?”
“I don’t know…I feel like I have cold feet yet it’s not my wedding. I woke up ready, put on my suit, and then said to myself ‘this can’t be right.’ I figured; stop now before I make a damn fool of myself.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“It’s just that…I don’t know.”
The door to the bar opens, and Aaron walks in. This is quite a surprise because for a while Aaron has been dogging me.
“Long time, no see,” said Johnny.
“I’ve been pretty good Johnny. You?”
“Good man, hey…talk some sense into your boy.”
Aaron walks over to me, “Hey Jamal!”
“What do I owe the honor of this visit? I mean, you haven’t talked with me for some time now.”
“I was making my peace with old wounds.”
“What you talking about man?”
“Your situation brought back some painful memories that I kept deep down inside of me, that’s why I stayed away.”
“I know. Your wife told me.”
“I know she did, I just didn’t want you to change your opinions about Crystal because she is a good person.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because…back in the day, any girl that did one of the crew wrong was labeled a ho! Besides, I needed time to forgive her myself.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“If you love someone…forgiveness is more than a word. You have to leave it in your past. I’ve been neglecting my wife because of past things that I said I forgave. Never let your past become your current pain. Let your past be a memory.”
“Easier said than done!” “You have to first ask for forgiveness of the person you’ve wronged, then forgive yourself and leave it in the past.”
Self-forgiveness was one of the hardest things a person can do. That’s why I was still cemented to the bar stool.
“Jamal, look me in the eyes and tell me that you don’t love that woman.”
“I can’t lie…maybe I really do?”
“Do you remember your first kiss with her?”
“Yeah!”
“Do you remember the long walks in the parks and conversations that led to you guys falling asleep, softly, into each other’s arms?”
“No doubt!”
“Jamal, your situation taught me a whole lot.”
“Really, like what?”
“A wise man learns from his mistakes but a wiser man learns from the mistakes of others.”
“I feel you on that.”
“All I’m saying is I love you, and don’t let a good thing get away from you without at least fighting for it.”
I cracked a smile and internalized the words because Aaron was right… You should never give up on what you believe in.
“Your words were not wasted on a heart of stone,” I said as I grabbed him and gave him a hug.
“Good because I don’t want to see your ass all lonely at barbecues and parties this summer.”
Aaron and I began to walk towards the door, “Johnny C.”
“Yes?”
“Thanks…for listening man.”
“Anytime young blood, now go get your woman.”
Upon exiting the bar we walked towards Aaron’s car, inside sat Crystal and their
two children dressed up and ready to go to the wedding.
“Crystal…so you put my boy up to this?”
“No…just sped up the process, sometimes you men take too long.”
“Aaron you have a gem in this one.”
Aaron smiles at Crystal as he puts the car in gear, “And I know this.”
Twenty minutes later we arrived at the church and took our seats at the back of a crowded church. My heart was beating fast. I almost dashed out of the church in fear or excitement. I’ve been to several weddings in my day and butterflies are normal but this was one of the most important wedding dates in my life.
Suddenly…the pianist changed the tune indicating that the bridal party was about to enter on cue. I looked towards the front at her husband to be, ‘doctor so and so.’ So what, you damn right I was jealous. One by one by one the bride’s maids walked down the aisle. With every footstep they took, my heart was beating faster and faster.
Then…Sasha stood there, looking as beautiful as an angel. Her stride was like she was walking on air, the scent of her perfume knocked me senseless, and my eloquent, premeditated, speech began to fade away in the depths of my mind.
She reached her choreographed position, the pianist played a minute longer, and the reverend signaled to stop, “You may all be seated.”
Everyone synchronically sat down but I hesitated a little. The photographers started snapping pictures before they even opened their mouths to seal the deal. What if this story had a different ending? They could not have guessed what I had planned.
“What a joyous day in the church today and an honor to marry these two souls here today. This man is a good man.” The church shouted, “Amen.”
The reverend continued his speech, “I’ve seen this boy grow from a sharp young boy into a fine young man.”
“Amen,” shouts the church again.
“Let me get to my part because that’s why we’re here today. You know I could preach all day.”
“Preach on,” yelled a stranger behind me and I wished I could have turn around and told him to sit his ass down. I was waiting for my part.
“We are gathered here today on a beautiful, Saturday, afternoon to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony so that two can become one.”
“The couple has written their own wedding vows so I will let them speak then resume my part.”
“Nelson,” said Sasha, “These last few months with you has taught me how to love again, smile again, rekindle the spirit of learning, and enjoy life with someone who reminds me always to remember God because he loves and protects us. For this, I give my heart and pray our souls walk as one.”
Ouch! That really hurt. Did she mean that? Who am I kidding? She wouldn’t be here if she didn’t! Forget about waiting, I wanted to get up right then. As I tried, Aaron holds my hand and whispers, “patience…patience,” and I sit back down.
“Sasha,” said Nelson in a deep voice, “God blessed the day I found you.”
That was R Kelly’s line! Who did he think he was fooling with his line stealing ass? I could’ve been more original than that any day of the week. Nelson continued his spiel, “You are the essence of what a woman should be. You are generous and never overbearing, you are sweet and never sour, you are supportive but never lie to make someone feel better, and you are an excellent mother and good cook.”
The church busted into laughter, “Your smile sends chills down my spine, and you have a quest for learning. You love God and you always put others before yourself. I love you and want to fill your life with happiness.” Sasha started to cry a stream of tears.
“At this time, if there is anyone that has just cause why these two should not be wedded, speak now or forever…hold your peace.”
I quickly jumped up and the whole church turns in my direction.
“Yes son?” said the minister. Nelson and Sasha looked at me waiting see what I would say. For a minute everything stopped. Then a strange thing happened…I decided not to say the words I spent all day memorizing. I realized she was happy and I realized that I was going to hurt her once again. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t be that selfish. I loved her too much.
“God bless this beautiful union!”
The church laughed and began to clap. “Thank you son but we haven’t reached that part so leave that to me,” the minister winked at me.
“My bad,” I said and sat down.
“By the power vested in me I know pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride.”
The whole church clapped their hands while Aaron just stared at me in disbelief.
“What you staring at Ron?” I said with a smile on my face.
“We have got to talk,” Aaron replied as Crystal nudged him and said, “Leave your boy alone, that was something else.”
“Something like that!”
After kissing, the new couple walked toward the Unity candle and lit it. “I present to you Mister and Mrs. Goodman and may God bless this union,” the preacher said as he looked toward me smiling. The couple began walking down the aisle. Aaron was still in disbelief and continued to grin and shake his head at me.
Minutes later outside, everyone was greeting the new bride and groom in a linear fashion. I still had butterflies in my stomach as I got closer to greeting the newlyweds.
“God bless you two,” I said as Dr. Goodman gave me a hug. He replied, “Thank you.”
I moved towards Sasha, who smiled with tear filled eyes. “God bless you and I know…you’ll take good care of him Sasha,” I muttered as I struggled with my emotions. Sasha hugged me and whispered, “You’ll get there too…don’t worry. God is good.”
I walked down the stairs outside the church and waited for Crystal and Aaron. Crystal walked over to me and hugged me for love and support, “That was special Jamal. You’re still a good man.”
“Thanks Crystal, you guys are still my peeps.”
I looked to Aaron who, in one hand, has a sleeping child and said, “Does this mean I’m not invited to the barbecue?”
Aaron laughed and said, “You’re my boy. Our relationship is thicker than blood. It took some guts to do what you did. But I must ask…why did you start and then let go? What made you change your mind?”
“Well at first I was anxious but when you rush you mess up things Aaron. I wanted my speech to be suave and direct, and then something strange happened!”
“What?”
“I remember what my father once taught me.”
“Your pops said a whole lot of deep things. Which one was it?”
“He once said true strength is having the ability to do something but restrain one’s self from doing it for a greater good. People make choices and my choice brought a blessing into her life, I felt like if I’m going to fly right, now is the time.”
“Deep…I take it you’re not going to the reception? Are you?” said Aaron.
Crystal responded, “Please come Jamal.”
“Nah! Besides, it’s a beautiful day and I want to do something different.”
“Like what?” said Crystal and Aaron in unison.
“Simply take a walk and enjoy the peace I’ve found within myself.”
“You sure? Stop playing…let us at least drop you off somewhere,” said Aaron.
“I promise, I swear, you two…I’m cool.”
“Well, if you need us call us anytime.”
“No doubt. I’ll holler at you later Aaron, bye Crystal.”
“Bye Jamal.” Crystal hugged me, Aaron gave me dap, and his two sons reached out to hug me as well.
I began walking off thinking about what I did today. Did I take the cowardly direction and make an excuse for not trying or simply started to try being selfless. Either way, I’m proud of myself for the decision I made.
A few blocks away, I walked past a travel agency and decide to walk in. A poster with a place I’ve never heard of, smacks me right in the face…Zanzibar?
“Can I help you sir?” said a travel
agent.
“Yes, I’ve never heard of that place on the poster before. Is it as beautiful as this picture?”
“Better and the flights are reasonable.”
What Lies Between The Sheets Page 13
