Charity

by Paulette Callen

  Frederick shook his head and pursed his lips together tightly, and continued to massage his knuckles. “You come snooping around, my snoopy nosy bitch sister-in-law. Just like your stoopy snupi—snoopy stupid whiney boy brother.” In his agitation he was mispronouncing words. Lena was ready to laugh until she heard ‘brother.’

  “Tori?”

  “Toritoritori?” He mimicked her in a high falsetto voice, then added in his own, “Whiney boy sissy pants Tori.”

  The dead calm deepened in Lena. She was beginning to see the picture, though she didn’t understand it. She could figure it out later. Right now, she wanted to get out of the barn. She had to maneuver around or under the horse just to get out of the stall before she could make a run for it. Frederick saw her eyes flit to the door and read her mind as she calculated time and distance.

  He reached into the deep pocket of the coat. “You know Pa’s gun he always kept in the cabinet in the dining room?”

  Lena nodded.

  “It still works.” Frederick produced the gun. I tried it out yesterday. It’s fun to kill gophers. I think I’ll take it up. It settled my nerves. We can’t have a garden out back because they tear everything up. Now I’ll kill them.”

  “You killed Tori.”

  Frederick shrugged and smiled crookedly.

  “Why?” She asked him very gently. Lena saw madness before her, and she did not want to provoke it.

  “I made him promise not to tell you until Will’s trial was over, and you didn’t have so much on your mind. I thought that by then he’d forget about it. But he didn’t.” He was the Frederick she knew speaking now, almost pleasantly, reasonably, a serious, concerned expression replacing the crooked smile. “He came in to tell you. And because he was such a good boy, he told me first.” The eerie smile returned.

  “What was he going to tell me?” Lena kept her voice steady, reasonable. “What he saw in the ice house?”

  Frederick lapsed into a mimicking voice again that gave Lena a chill. “OOOOH... I saw something soooo bad in the ice house. It made my widdle tummy sickums.’ The drooling little shit. I said I’d come home with him so he wouldn’t have to tell you alone. We went upstairs. The stupid dummy waited for me while I came down to the barn to get the rope! He watched me make a noose and throw it over the beam. He thought it was a game, I guess. I put it over his head and yanked. He wasn’t heavy at all. Just flopped around a little bit.” Frederick made a waggling motion with his fingers in the air. “I added the chair later,” he added, almost modestly.

  Lena felt the barn turning around. She grabbed the top of the stall and hung on.

  “What did he see in the ice-house?” Lena’s own voice sounded strange to her, speaking in an even tone while inside her head she was screaming.

  Frederick’s eyes rolled. “What did you see?”

  “A rocking chair. A mess of candle wax.”

  “What did Gustie see?”

  “The same thing I did.”

  His sing-song falsetto began again. “Toritoritori lifted out a hunk of ice...and what he saw, it wasn’t nice, and it made him sick to his tummins.”

  Lena slid her foot a short distance to her right and eased her body after it, hoping Frederick would see that she was just shifting her weight and not moving closer to the edge of the stall.

  “Actually, it was that fucking cat. Once we stirred things up in there, that cat couldn’t leave it alone. The smell I suppose. Tori tried to get the cat out of the ice house when it followed him in there. That’s when he found them. I wanted to get rid of the cat. She threw a fit. I wanted to get rid of them—she threw another fit. Said now she had them again, she would keep them close to her.”

  “Who?” Lena edged to the right again.

  “Mother thought the little shit killed himself like everybody else. Then you had to come snooping around and tell her he was murdered, and she got ideas and now she wants me to leave. I can’t leave.”

  Lena took another small step. “You don’t have to go anywhere, Frederick. If you can’t stay with Ma, you can stay here with Will and me till you get a place. You’re welcome here for as long as you like.”

  “Yes, come out of that stall,” Frederick said, pointing the gun right at her. “Come over here.” He beckoned toward himself with his free hand.

  “Did you kill Pa?”

  “Come here,” he beckoned again, “and I’ll tell you all about it.”

  Lena didn’t want to get any closer to him, but she came out from behind the stall. She considered bolting for the door. If he shot her, maybe he would miss, maybe it would not be a mortal wound. He stood between her and the side door, which she noticed now was also ajar, so that exit was not an option. Her curiosity was at work too. She wanted to know why he had killed his father. She was horrified and fascinated.

  “I didn’t kill Pa. Mother did. When I killed that whiney boy brother of yours, I did it for her,” his voice broke in a sob, but he recovered himself immediately. “...and now she just wants me to leave. She’s afraid everybody will find out. But nobody will find out if you’re not here to stir it up.”

  “Don’t you think that killing me will just lead to more people stirring things up?”

  “Won’t matter. This time they’ll find the right thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “My big brother. He’ll come home drunk. I’ll pour some more whiskey down his throat, and it will look like he did it, and then they will know he did everything—killed Pa, and Tori and you. There won’t be any getting around it this time. I’ll make sure. And then she’ll want me back.”

  “You can’t kill Gustie.”

  “Why not?” The eerie smile took possession of his features once more.

  “You can’t kill everybody!”

  “Why not? I’m a chip off the old block.”

  Lena made up her mind to run for it too late. She was slammed against the barn wall. Frederick’s right forearm pressed against her throat, and the gun in his hand was cold against the side of her face. His body pressed hard against hers. She was pinned to the wall and choking.

  Lena stopped resisting, hoping Frederick would ease his pressure on her windpipe. He did not. Her acceptance came quickly, simply... I didn’t think it would be like this...and she began to pray, Our Father, which art in heaven, moving her lips lightly, although all sound and breath was choked out of her.

  The gun stayed against the side of her head, and with his left hand Frederick brought a knife out of his pocket.

  Hallowed be Thy name.

  Oh Lord Jesus, he’s going to cut me! Why the knife should horrify her more than the gun, she did not know.

  Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done...

  She felt the knife working at her breast, cutting through her thick wool coat.

  in earth as it is in heaven.

  He was making sawing motions, like he was not going to stab her, but cut off her breasts. Oh dear Jesus, what madness is this?

  Give us this day...

  She could hear nothing but Frederick’s heavy breathing strangled by dry sobs.

  our daily bread: And forgive us our debts...

  And then a clear voice sailed like an angel through the dusty air of the barn. “Stand away from her, Frederick.”

  as we forgive our debtors.

  Frederick stopped sawing at her coat and turned his head slightly toward the voice, which sailed again, cool and authoritative, filling the barn with sweetness. “Stand away from her.”

  And lead us not into temptation,

  “I’m going to hurt her,” he said breathlessly.

  but deliver us from evil:

  A different voice now, deeper...a musky voice that Lena could not place though she was sure she had heard it before. In her dreams. These were angels. She was dead, floating in a place just off the earth where
she had heard that spirits linger before flying to the arms of Jesus.

  For thine is the kingdom...

  The other, darker, voice said, “You won’t leave this barn alive. Let her go.”

  and the power...

  Frederick pushed himself away from the wall, bruising Lena further as he did so. The knife in his hand clattered to the floor.

  and the glory...

  He was in a tantrum of rage and frustration, sobbing without tears, sputtering in an infantile madness without words. Lena fought for air and brought her hands to her throat and breast.

  forever...

  She did not know if he had gotten through the coat, if she had been cut. She did not know if she was bleeding. She did not know if she could still live.

  The first angel came closer, “Lena, are you all right?”

  and ever...

  Lena tried to turn her head to see. At the same time Frederick raised his gun. The musky voiced angel snarled. Lena felt her knees give way beneath her as the gun went off.

  Amen.

  She was looking toward the voices now and saw Jordis thrown back into Gustie’s arms. The two of them sank to the floor while Frederick ran crying out the side door.

  Lena willed her legs to hold her and her head to clear. She pulled herself up and went to where Gustie was holding Jordis. Gustie’s face was white. She held her hand on Jordis’s head. Blood seeped between her fingers.

  Lena took off her coat and put it over Jordis, ran to the wall, and took down two of Tom’s blankets and laid them gently over her as well. “I’m going for the doctor!” She backed Millie out of her stall. “I’ll be right back!”

  Gustie nodded mutely and kept her hand over the wound in Jordis’s head.

  As Millie stretched into a full gallop, it occurred to Lena that she did not know if Jordis was alive or dead.

  It is light here. And cold.

  It is winter here.

  I am cold.

  I am cold.

  I am cold having walked far in the snow.

  There is a tipi ahead with a closed flap. Smoke rises from the top. It is a plain tipi of thick hides.

  I open the flap and go in.

  Strange in here, but I am not afraid. The floor is covered with many furs. There are furs and blankets all around, and old women huddle to the right laughing. They nod at me and go back to their jokes. They are eating heart berries, and the tips of their fingers are stained red.

  At the center of the tipi a fire burns. A pot steams over the fire. A good smell comes from the pot, carried on the steam. A woman kneels at the fire. Her back is to me. She tends the fire. She tends the pot.

  She is round. With wide hips. A thick glossy braid hangs down her back all the way to the ground. She turns to me. She is dark and beautiful. She is beautiful where I am not. How I have missed her. My mother smiles at me.

  She beckons me to sit beside her at the fire.

  I sit wrapped in a blanket of many colors. A bowl of soup rests in my hand. I am happy. I will stay in the tipi of my mother.

  Hank Ackerman was in town to trade pig meat for credit at O’Grady’s. He was just coming out of the locker where O’Grady rented his freezer box, when he saw Will Kaiser’s wife galloping like a bat out of hell up the street. He stopped in at Leroy’s Tavern and voiced his amazement at the sight of Lena Kaiser flying up Main Street at a full gallop.

  Leroy said he’d just made someone go and get Dennis Sully a while ago to haul Will out of the tavern before he got tight. The idea of that young brother springing for drinks for Will, knowing what they knew about Will and his recent troubles and all, didn’t sit right with Leroy. He said maybe Hank ought to go to the sheriff’s office and see if Will was still there and tell him about Lena. Hank thought it was a good idea.

  Will was visiting with Fritz, a cup of Dennis’ black brew in his hand. He didn’t look drunk. Leroy had got him out in time. Hank said, “I think you better go and look out for your wife, Will.” He told him how he’d seen Lena galloping like a steeple chaser with nothing on in this cold but a thin dress that was riding up so you could see the tops of her stockings.

  Will grabbed his hat and coat and was heading up the street on Tom in time to see the doc in his buggy snapping the whip over the back of his chestnut and Lena out ahead, high tailing it back home. Will spun his horse around and followed.

  “Keep her head steady there,” Doc Moody said. Gustie held Jordis’s head while Will slipped his arms beneath her limp body and together they carried her into the house, where Lena had their bed ready for her. Doc Moody arranged his instruments. Gustie refused to leave the bedroom.

  Lena and Will waited in the kitchen. After an hour or so the Doc came in with a bullet rolling around in the basin in his hand. “Got it,” he said. A little blood spattered his arms and white shirt. He rinsed his arms off under the pump at the sink. “She’s alive but she’s still unconscious.” Lena handed him a fresh towel.

  “We just have to wait and see. I’ll be back tomorrow. If there’s a change during the night, come and get me.”

  Lena had told Will what happened in the barn while they waited for the doctor. Now he got up. “Well, I got to go report all this to Dennis. He can pick Frederick up. Don’t think he’s gotten far if he ran out on foot. Or if I get my hands on him first, by God, I’ll kill the bugger.”

  “Let Dennis handle it, Will.”

  “Yeah, Duchy, I’m just talking.” Will’s eyes fell on her coat draped over the back of the chair, its front slashed away to the lining, and he grabbed Lena and lifted her to him and cried into her neck, unashamedly in front of the doctor.

  “There now, Will, I’m just fine now. Not a scratch on me. It’s that girl in there we have to pray for.”

  Will put her down and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. “After I see Dennis, I’ll stop at the telegraph office.”

  “What for?” Lena wondered out loud.

  “I better telegraph Joe Gruba to go out and get Mrs. Many Roads. She ought to be brought back here. She’s the girl’s grandmother.”

  “Well...where are we going to put her?”

  “I just thought...”

  “Will, the girl won’t even know she’s here. I just think...”

  “Okay, Duchy, okay. I’ll just have a talk with Dennis, that’s all.”

  When Will was gone, Doc Moody took a sideways glance at Lena but said nothing as he finished cleaning up at the sink.

  Lena made up a bed on the floor in the living room for herself and Will. Gustie lay down on the bed next to Jordis but was afraid to move for disturbing her, so she went back to sitting in her chair and remained wide awake all night long.

  The next day the Stone County Gazette added a page to its weekly fare of church events, births and deaths, weather reports, and the menu from Olna’s Kitchen:

  A terrible tragedy was visited upon Charity and the Kaiser family late last night when Julia Gareis, sister of Gertrude Kaiser and sister-in-law of the late Frederick William Kaiser, along with Frederick Kaiser, her nephew, son of Gertrude and Frederick Kaiser, burned to death in the ice house behind the Kaiser home.

  Neighbors, alerted late last night by smoke and flames rising from the Kaiser family property in the northeastern part of Charity, gathered in front of the ice house and observed Julia Gareis in what Alvinia Torgerson described as “a long white nightgown, her hair undone and flying all about, and smiling sweetly,” standing in the door of the ice house holding a bundle to her breast. In the words of Mrs. Torgerson, who was first on the scene and first to alert the sleeping Kaiser family, “She could have walked right out. The ice house was afire, but she stood just inside the door and could have just stepped out. That’s why nobody ran in to get her. We assumed she’d just come out.” Several neighbors said that by the time they realized that Miss Gareis was not going to com
e out, Frederick Kaiser appeared in the crowd and ran into the ice house. All there believed he would pull his aunt out of the flames to safety. As the onlookers watched, horrified, Miss Gareis moved back away from the door, farther into the burning building and sat down in what appeared to be a rocking chair. Mr. Kaiser knelt before her and laid his head in her lap before the view of them was obstructed by smoke and flames. Again, by the time the shocked neighbors realized that the two were not coming out, it was too late, for the door frame collapsed and the entire structure exploded into a roaring inferno. Some neighbors reported hearing the strains of high singing just before the final crash of the front of the building.

  The mystery of why Miss Gareis did not, when she so easily could have, save herself, and why Frederick Kaiser did not save them both, when he, too, could have done so is deepened by the reports that neighbors had oft times late at night for the past several months, thought they saw a pale light flickering through the chinks of the ice house and occasional high singing, as of a lullaby. No one reported these observances before since “no harm was being done” and “people mind their own business when they can,” said two neighbors who wished to remain un-named.

  What was contained in the bundle that Miss Gareis was seen holding in the doorway also remains a mystery. Sheriff Dennis Sully and Deputy Fritz Mulky are investigating. None of the Kaiser family has been able to offer any explanation of these strange and terrible events.

  The fire went out in the pot-bellied stove, and the cabin quickly became very cold. A gust of wind found a chink in the cabin wall, lifted a corner of the dry cowhide, and withdrew. The hide fell back against the wood planks with a slap. The old woman did not notice. She sat at the table, knowledge that something terrible had happened running in her veins, her bundle of memories laid out before her. She had arranged each precious object on the open blanket to her liking with the turtle shell closest to her.

  She used to have some power of Turtle. She felt it most after her moon times stopped, but there had been seasons before when the Turtle medicine had flourished. To glean what power she could from those times, she closed her eyes and called back memories: under the buffalo robe for the first time with the young warrior Many Roads so many winters ago she had lost count;