I couldn’t fucking believe it she was here. There was a buzzing in my ears. Sitting heavily on the bar stool I keep my back to the room. But no amount of buzzing could drown out the sobs as she said my name repeatedly.
Chapter 5
Danny
Maybe he didn’t recognize me? Fighting back the pain, I follow him to the bar. “Jesse” I whisper placing my hand on his shoulder seemed to snap him out of whatever fog he was in. “Go away,” he snaps.
“Jesse it’s me, it’s Danny” I croak. Finally, I get him to look at me and I immediately wish I didn’t. His face was contorted in anger and disgust. His eyes rake my body with disdain filled eyes.
“I know who you are and I want you gone. You said everything you needed to and yet you said nothing over the last ten years. There is nothing you could say now to change what you’ve done. Take your bullshit excuses and go,” his voice was both cold and hard.
The pain was unbearable it felt like a hot fire poker to the heart. I fight the need to hunch in on myself in pain. Straightening my back, I try to summon what little dignity I was not stripped of. Without looking at anyone I force my feet to move slowly back to my room.
The room I may not have much longer now that he made it clear he didn’t want me. I laugh bitterly. I have no dignity, it was stripped from me years ago, and the very little I had left was just taken from me out there with his looks and words.
My life has been hell. I endured it, always looking for a way to get to him only after all that to be shunned and unwanted. Over the last few years I wanted nothing more than to be unwanted so it would all stop now I wish to be wanted only to be not.
Crumpling to the bed I close my eyes. I was too weak to fight off the memories as the sleep I’ve been putting off over the last two weeks caught up to me. “Here’s your dinner, Danielle you better eat it all or I will let them fondle you next time.” my mother’s gleeful voice echoed through the attic I was locked in.
I have been here in this room for three years now. I was of age, so it was time to start parading me in front of prospective buyers. Mom said I brought this on myself for being with that scum as she calls Jesse. But I would change none of the time I had with him even for this to stop.
Every week for the last month I’m forced to strip naked and stand in the basement as men circle me looking at my naked body.
I was to be auctioned when I turned twenty-four. Good birthing age mom said. Dad enjoyed the fear I felt as they looked at me with their eyes telling me all they were going to do with me. There was this one in particular who came to each and every viewing with lust and power radiating off of him.
He was the scariest and the most interested. Every time I was brought down there I lost a piece of myself the only thing that kept me going was him, was my Jesse. Pain radiated through me as the memories of today rushed to the surface.
I learned long ago to numb myself to the pain my parents put me through the diets, the stripping, the viewings, the horrible words and unloving nature. But him, he just finished what they started.
No. No, I will not let them finish me! Fighting the darkness, I sit up in bed. I needed a job I needed a real home that’s all I need. Brushing the tears from my face I jump when the door slams open and Axel rushed in.
“Everything ok?” His voice was concerned. Words fail me as for the third time today someone showed me they care. Swallowing I nod my head. “You were screaming Danny.” His voice was gentle, causing tears to fill my eyes.
My weepiness seems to have made him break out in hives he looked so lost completely unsure what to do. “Danny what happened to you?” he whispers. Swallowing, I look away, I couldn’t tell him. “I need a job, will you help me?” my voice was quiet and full of turmoil.
The look of relief on his face would have been funny if not for everything that’s happened today. “I can fix that. I need someone to clean up around here. Free housing and food.” he sighs when my eyes get big I probably looked like I was going to start crying on him. Come to think of it, he looks funny all worried about a few tears.
“Thank you, Axel,!” my voice was full of wonder at this beautiful gift.
Chapter 6
Jesse
It would have hurt if I could feel the thing called my heart. Her tears almost did me in but, I held strong. She made her choice ten years ago, and I wasn’t it. Grabbing the beer set in front of me, I take a healthy gulp.
The feel of a hand on my shoulder had me snarling I was normally an easy going guy, but, because of her that guy evaporated like a puff of smoke on a windy day.
“What the fuck is wrong with you” Axel’s angry voice had the snarls falling away.
“None of your fucking business Axel this has nothing to do with the club.” I snap back. He knew I was right, he had absolutely no say in any of this.
“You didn’t see her when she walked in here.” he growls.
Shifting uncomfortably, I stare into my beer. No, I didn’t see her, but everyone seems to be pointing it out. I couldn’t look at him not when I was this confused. I was angry, bitter even did I want to hear about any of it fuck no! Was I going to, probably.
Screaming. Blood curtailing screams had me on my feet my bar stool hit the floor with a loud thud. Turning I start in the direction it was coming from, only to have a hand slam into my chest holding me in place.
Axels glare had me swallowing my retort. “Stay the fuck out here you’ve done enough.” his voice was like a whip.
I wanted to tell him to fuck off that this shit had nothing to do with him, but my mouth wouldn’t work every part of me wanted to run and see if she was okay maybe even kill the person making her wail like she was being pulled apart.
I watch in frustration as Axel takes off down the hallway. Pacing I keep my attention solely in the direction he disappeared. I needed to know what was going on. The longer he was gone the harder it was to stay in one place my pacing was taking me closer and closer to the hallway entrance.
This was bullshit he had no right to keep her from me. Anger takes hold, sucking and pulling me into its embrace. I felt like I had sunk into a pit of hungry bears all snarling and slapping large claws trying to tear into me.
My anger was like a demon under my skin fighting for release. She was fucking mine. Motherfucker the snarl echoed through my head, pulling at my hair I fight a battle I haven’t fought in years.
The last time it was this bad. Shit that was when I realized she was never going to send for me. The she left me and didn’t want me anymore. Just as then as is now she was and forever will be the only one.
It was like I was submerged in a tank of ice water. Leaving the hallway, I storm back to the bar. Holding out my hand, I signal my buddy, whatever the fuck this prospects name is “Jack” no need to raise my voice or say anything else he turned, grabbed the bottle and had it in my hand before the k left my mouth. Reaching over I give him a swift pat on the back. Smart man. With one last glance at the hallway, I walk out of the clubhouse and make my way up to the roof. I had a nice little spot where the roof was flat and in the shade.
The shade was from an oversized Red Oak tree. I need the quiet it offered. The solace from the rest of the world. I found this place when my world fell apart ten years ago,. I need a lot of alcohol and a lot of quiet the same thing I needed then.
Chapter 7
Danny
The last ten years have revolved around my need to get here to get to Jesse. That was what kept me going. I never once thought he wouldn’t want me. My life has taken a complete turn and, I was now clueless as how to fix it.
Was there really a way to fix it? Fix me? I wasn’t so sure that I was fixable after everything they did and then after him. No, I was not, not even close. But I would live and move on I will never love another and that was okay. I will enjoy my freedom.
My life could be worse, right? I could belong to one of those men. The shudder that took hold of me was so strong I feared possible whiplash. It was time to come
to terms with the fact my life will never be normal or perfect.
I will never have it all. I lost everything ten years ago, and it was time to close that door and, find a new reason for living. Jesse was no longer it. Sighing, I sit up in the bed, my head falling into my hands.
I fight the tears that were desperate to flow. All my hope, all my dreams, they were gone, like a ray of beautiful sunlight, it is snuffed out by the clouds. Like the stars that twinkle in beauty only to be forced to disappear with the light of a new day.
A new day was upon me and I needed to find that ray of sunshine and bask in its warm embrace. Axel said I could work by cleaning. I will be the best this place has ever seen. The wonderful things he has gifted me had another round of tears fighting for release.
Swallowing them back, I stand up. My back, so straight and my head, so high it looked like I had a metal rod placed within me to pull this posture off. I would show no weakness, it was time I found a new me, a better me.
Making my way to the door I place my hand on the handle. I was a strong person I chant to myself you survived hell so you can sure as fuck survive this. My other hand covers my mouth as my eyes widen in shock, I just said the f word.
A voice inside me whispered “fucking right and, it’s about time you grow a set of balls.”
I felt a surge of confidence. The voice was right, I needed this I needed to be stronger. “I’m you, dumbass” it whispered again. Laughter escapes as I feel the crazy I was sure I was suffering from get stronger.
“No, this is you, the you, you were always meant to be.” the voice was growing stronger. I could feel the old, meek me drifting to the back and this new better me rushing to the front. Turning I look into the mirror.
Did the changes show? Did I look different? No, I looked like Danny plain old Danny. The hunger was becoming more and more demanding I didn’t get a chance to eat earlier and after the whole Jesse thing I couldn’t, I just couldn’t hang around.
I needed food and maybe a drink. A strong drink a few shots. I have never had any kind of alcohol before. I deserved it, no, I earned it! Pulling the door open I walk out of the room with a new purpose.
I take confident yet quick steps to my destination, the prospect of food, drowning the memories, the pain and the shame was a temptation too great. My feet pick up speed as I all but run to the kitchen.
Food first, then the pure heaven of nothingness. Opening the fridge, the first thing I see is the sandwich meat and the cheese I haven’t had a sandwich in forever, in reality ten years. Grabbing the bread, I quickly put my sandwich together.
It took only seconds to devour the whole thing I was so hungry it was like I was a vacuum. Putting everything back, I quickly wipe down the counters. Slowly spinning in a circle I check for any more messes.
Finding none, I walk out of the room into the main room the prospect of bliss was so close I could taste it. Not that I know what alcohol tastes like. The room was empty. Glancing at the clock I realize it’s three am.
No wonder it’s empty. Laughing lightly, I walk right behind the bar and grab the whiskey. I heard this was the good stuff. Grabbing a shot glass, I walk out from behind the bar and take a seat in front of it.
The first shot was like fire burning its way down my throat. The warm fuzzy feeling that accompanied it had me filling the glass again. With a quick tip back it slid down my throat the burn was less this time.
I could feel it take effect. Smiling at the empty space behind the bar I refill my glass “Thanks my good man, ” I joke as another shot of the warming beautiful whiskey slid down smooth and sweet.
The buzz that hit my body was like a warm cocoon. The sound of feet had me turning too fast I slid out of the stool backwards. Laughter escapes as my body drops to the floor. I was ready for the pain I was sure that would accompany it only to feel steel bands lifting me.
Opening my eyes, I look into the beautiful face of Jesse. “You aren’t supposed to be here” I slur.
“And where am I supposed to be?” his deep voice held a timber that sent sparks of tingly pleasure all over my body.
“Away…. I was drowning you.” my words are almost no existent.
“Well, I’m here.”
“I see that and it’s not fair. I want to forget, I want to pretend, I want nothing more than to believe you still want me as much as I want you.” I sob.
Instead of words he pressed his lips to mine. If this was a delusion brought on my too many drinks that was okay. I was in heaven, pure heaven.
Chapter 8
Jesse
I needed more alcohol. Walking into the main room, I take in the beautiful form sitting at the bar. The very beautiful form falling off her stool. Rushing, I catch her just I time. Looking down at her beautiful face I feel my heart constrict as my cock hardened.
It was Danny. Well, not really Danny was hiding in her room far away from me no this was a figment of my imagination. Her words were slurred. Her beautiful brown eyes stare into mine with such love and desire.
Turning I carry her to my room. This dream felt real. It’s just a dream, one I plan to take full advantage of. This was the first time I had this dream. Normally she’s waiting in my bed for me, begging for me.
This was fucking hot. The way her lips pressed to my neck in an almost innocent kiss. The feel of her moist tongue as it made a path up my neck to my ear. Growling low in my throat, I place her gently onto my bed.
It always starts off slow and easy with her. Ripping my shirt over my head, I lean down over her body. Slowly lifting her shirt, my lips press into each little patch of skin I uncover as the shirt slowly makes its way up her chest.
Closing my lips over her nipple I suckle gently causing her back to arch from the bed and loud moans escape from her lips. This was by far the best dream I’ve ever had of her, of us together like this.
Chapter 9
Danny
I watch Jesse’s face as he becomes frustrated with my shirt. His growling has giggles erupting uncontrollably. Those giggles turned to gasps of shock as he rips the shirt from my body with this deep growl.
Jesse’s groan had my eyes darting to his face. The hunger written there was enough to ignite mine to new heights. Need and desire ruled me now.
"Please." I beg. I needed him so bad it was like I needed this to breathe.
"Shh, baby, I’ve got you."
Then his lips were surrounding my nipple. Oh my, I can’t take this much longer I needed him, dreamed of him, of this moment for so long. Slipping my hands between our bodies I tug and pull at my pants whining when they refused to budge.
Frustration mounts to a boiling point as Jesse laughs. I needed him and I needed him now. Why didn’t he understand this?
"Alright sweetheart."
Opening my mouth to tell him to hurry, but before the words left my lips, he was kneeling in front of me on the bed tugging my pants down my body.
"Panties!" my demand was quiet. The smile I received for it has a blush staining my cheeks.
My need was so great I couldn’t think straight. I’ve dreamed of this moment for the last sixteen years. I wanted nothing but him and to be honest, my dreams of this, this moment right here, right now, kept me going all these years.
Jesse flashes me a wicked smile and rips the panties from my body tossing them over his shoulder. Goose bumps break out all over my body as my desire spikes to levels I didn’t think were possible.
Staring in absolute hunger as he slowly removes his pants. I could watch him all day, any day but today, I needed him closer, touching me, loving me, inside me. Reaching up I wipe my mouth. Oops, I was drooling a little.
Giggling now wouldn’t be the best idea so I fight it back. Fighting the need to close my eyes as he slowly climbs on top of me. Tears spring to my eyes as his lips press into mine. His fingertips slid along my thigh as moans slip from my parted lips.
The moment, the very second his finger touched my pussy I was screaming. My eyes closed and lights spar
ked behind the closed lids, fire licked along my skin as pleasure so intense it felt almost painful shocked my nerve endings.
That was with just a brush of his fingertips. Not pausing, he continued his journey. The moment the very moment his fingers slipped inside me it was like the world just stopped and ceased to exist.
"Oh, OH, OOOH."
Repeatedly fell from my lips as he pumped them in and out. It was both pleasure and pain, hell and heaven, beautiful and scary. Then all too soon his fingers were gone.
"NOOOO."
"SSHH baby, it’s okay."
The whispered words against my lips had me relaxing into the bed. Only to stiffen as his cock rubbed against me. This was it, the moment I have waited my whole life for. Well, I mean it feels like it.
Fear tried to take me, but I wouldn’t let it, I knew what real fear was and there was nothing to fear here. Jesse was my soul mate, the love of my life. This was the moment we shared that love in the most basic of dances.
The feel of him entering me had tears slipping down my face both from pain and pure happiness. It hurt so bad I felt like I was being split in two and yet I was being split in two. The old Danny was falling away, to be replaced by who I was always meant to be.
"I’m so sorry sweetheart."
I don’t understand I wanted to say, but, all words got lost with the most intense pain of my life overcame me. He pulled back and slammed all the way in to the hilt. My back arched off the bed as I fought the need to push him off of me.
"It’s okay baby." He whispers before kissing the tears spilling down my cheeks.
No, it’s not I want to snap at him. I wanted to wail and cry. Then the most wonderful thing happened, he pressed his fingers to my little nub and made circular motions. The pain started taking a back seat to the pleasure riding my body.
Jesse: The Son's Of The Apocalypse MC Page 2
