The pleasure was intense. So, intense I couldn’t hold back the moans spilling from my lips. The feel of his lips covering my nipple as he suckled gently had little sparks erupting in my pussy.
The feel of his hand gently lifting my hips as he gently rocked into me. Throwing my head back, I scream as pure ecstasy consumes me. The world turned into a kaleidoscope of pure pleasure.
His hips started rocking into me harder as he pulled back a little more with every new thrust. Slipping my hand into his and lacing our fingers together, I felt more loved than I ever have before.
So much so my eyes filled with tears just as the explosion I could feel brewing inside of me erupted. My eyes roll back into my head as a scream tore from my very core left my lips.
I felt like I was dying and being reborn. My skin felt tingly and hot. My body locked up as my helpless body was wracked with intense mind blowing pleasure.
I feel him pull out a little and I clutch at him trying to keep him within me, I didn’t want him to leave me not yet.
Instead of fully pulling out he pushed back in hitting something inside me that had my body bowing in pleasure so much pleasure. Pulling back out he pushes back in picking up speed as he went. Soon he was slamming into me and with every finished thrust my toes curled and my body stiffened more and more.
The most intense orgasm of my life was upon me and I was helpless against its strong tide as Jesse rocked into me harder and harder. My voice became nonexistent and completely useless. My mouth was open in a silent scream and my brain short circuited.
My nerves were being shocked with so much pleasure I wondered if lightning bolts shot from my fingers. My skin tingled, my muscles have stiffened and refused to relax, my eyes closed as fireworks exploded behind my lids.
Then I felt it. The heat as he swelled inside me. His body stiffened as a deep groan left his lips. His hips kept thrusting causing more little explosions to erupt within me.
"I love you." As soon as the whispered words left my lips, he was pulling away from me.
"You need to leave."
He wanted me to go? I don’t understand. Reaching for him only to have him jerk away before I made contact. I felt hollow the moment, he said.
"Get out."
Quickly getting off the bed, I grab what little clothing I have left and rush from the room I didn’t even pause to put my pants on. I needed away, I needed away from him and what just happened.
I felt what little heart, I have left crumble into dust. No one wanted me. I was nothing. Tears streaked down my face. Rushing into my room, I drop the offending clothes on the floor.
I never wanted to see them again. Falling into the bed as my world crumbled. This is what they all wanted from me all these years for me to realize I was not wanted. That I had nothing and no one.
Chapter 10
Jesse
It wasn’t a dream. She was really here. Getting her the fuck out seemed to be the only thing I could think about. She left me years ago, did she really think she could walk in the door and all would be fine.
What now, that she decided she wanted me I was supposed to take her back and pretend it never happened? No! I don’t give two shits how she feels. Why was she still a virgin?
I thought she would have lost that long ago to some new boyfriend. What the fuck has she been doing all these years then? Forget it, Jesse, don’t bother trying to figure this shit out.
She left your ass that’s all that matters right now. Looking down at the bed, I take in the dark red smudge on the gray sheets. My mind was in turmoil did I go hunt her ass down and demand answers? I mean what the fuck happened? Do I sit here and pretend this shit never happened?
I was going to go with the later instead of the former. I had already decided she ripped my heart out once and once was enough. Walking into the bathroom, I need a shower and I needed one now.
I could smell her all over me and the more I inhaled her beautiful scent the more I wanted her. I missed her and even now after everything I still loved her. I guess I always knew she would be my one and only.
The hot water caressed my skin, releasing some of the tension in my muscles. This shit is just too much. I needed to move the fuck on with my life. I finally got to see her and I think this whole thing was enough, in general. Something I needed to finally move on with my life.
Today will mark the day she ceases to exist to me. She tore me apart once I’ll be fucking damned if she does it again. Sorry, sweetheart, you gutted me ten years ago, and left me bleeding I had to stitch myself back together alone.
Ripping the sheet from the bed, I climb into it and close my eyes. I needed all reminders of her removed from this room. First thing tomorrow I was going to burn those sheets.
This night never happened. Closing my eyes, I force my mind to blank I need sleep and plenty of it.
Chapter 11
Danny
Morning came faster than I wished it would. If I had it my way, it never would have come. How do I face the world today knowing Jesse was never going to be a part of mine?
The dreams still haunt me. My left hand caresses my right wrist, running my fingers over the scars. It was the first time I tried to escape my new reality. The first year away from him was hell.
The beatings to remove all traces of him from my body and mind were relentless. I realized then I was never getting out of here. It took me months to pry the nail from the attic floor.
When it was finally in my hand, I didn’t think, I couldn’t think of anything else. I needed this world to be over. Maybe someday I would see him again, but I couldn’t wait until then. Forcing the nail into my skin was painful, especially since it was broken.
Mom said I enjoyed his touch too much, and that I enjoyed touching him so she broke my wrist with a bat. The glee of pure happiness in her eyes will haunt me for the rest of my days.
Life seemed to have no meaning. I couldn’t take the pain, both physical and mental. It was difficult, forcing the nail across my wrist. I remember feeling so sleepy and smiling because I knew it was almost over.
But I woke up. The devastation hit me. I lived through so much, fought so hard, walked and crawled to get here only to come back to this. I could sit here and mope and wish he wanted me still the way I always wanted him.
I remember them letting me sit there in pain for a few days after I tried to end it all then. They finally reset it so I could heal somewhat properly.
I will forever cherish the moment’s I had with him as a child and the moments I had with him tonight. Those memories will be what I pull forward after the dreams come for me. The things they did to me will rise again like they do every time I close my eyes.
Getting up was the first step to my new reality, I needed to get to work I had a job. This was a new beginning I guess last night was the goodbye to my old self. I was a new person today.
I will be strong and move on. I will pretend he is no longer there so I don’t see him with others. Other, woman would flock to him and I would be helpless to stop it. Pushing back the tears I swallow hard.
Danny, you are stronger than this. You survived the last ten years you can survive this. Forgoing the shower, I dressed in more borrowed clothes. I needed some of my own and the only way for that to happen was to work.
Rushing from the room, I get right to work. Wiping down the bar and tables first. Then sweeping the floor. Picking up the last of the dirt pile when I heard the little feet running into the clubhouse followed by the door closing.
Turning I look at Axel who was smiling at his little ones running all over the place.
"Good morning Danny."
"Good morning" My words were mumbled.
"Tessa brought it to my attention that you needed clothes. I thought I could give you an advance on your paycheck so you can do a little shopping. Is that okay with you?"
My heart swelled. He wanted to help me. Nodding vigorously as words failed me. I received a laugh in return.
"Here, sweetheart
."
Looking at his hand full of money I give a quick negative that is way more than I would make this week I couldn’t take it.
"Look, sweetheart, think of this as a gift."
Those words triggered the memories of him and his special gifts. Always showing up and offering me something. I knew if I took them, he would be all over me and I wanted nothing to do with him.
I remember the gleam in his eyes as he held out a piece of jewelry. The lust and hunger I felt pouring off him in waves. My stomach rolled I couldn’t be bought no I wouldn’t be bought.
"Sweetheart, you okay?"
Snapping back to the present I relaxed I had backed up and was shaking from head to toe. But not just in fear, but in anger. I was not a toy that could be bartered with. I will not be sold or bought.
"Thank you, but I can’t accept that."
"Look, Danny, this is a gift from the girls, does that make you feel better?"
The very fact he didn’t push and ask a bunch of questions I couldn’t answer I wouldn’t share had me relaxing slightly. If it was from the girls I mean really from the girls, I would accept the gift.
Not that I think Axel would do anything to me, but I didn’t want to feel like I owed him something. Truth be told I didn’t want to feel like I did when that man would come to the house. A full body shudder overcomes me.
I watch Axel’s eyes darken. It was written all over his face, he knew I don’t know how but he knew.
"Someday you will need someone to talk to and I’ll be here. Just remember that sweetheart no judgment. But I can’t help you unless I know what’s going on."
Shaking my head while fighting back the tears I try to come to terms with the fact someone cared about me. I haven’t felt that way since Jesse kissed me goodbye ten years ago.
"Thanks" the words were whispered, but he nodded, letting me know he heard me. Reaching for the money I slowly slip it into my pocket. At that very moment Jesse came into the room.
"Whore money? Did you pay her for last night, Axel?"
It hurt, my heart felt like it was going to stop beating as a hot fireplace poker pierced my chest. Looking at the floor I run out of the clubhouse I couldn’t stay there I couldn’t show my face right now not after that.
I was both embarrassed and devastated. No matter how many times those men came I never felt more the whore until this very moment.
Chapter 12
Jesse
The moment the words left my mouth, I regretted them. Axel’s heated look had me swallowing. Anger and jealousy had consumed me and now it was leaving me to face the consequences of my careless words.
One minute he was across the room the next his fist made contact with my nose. Thank fuck it wasn’t a broken.
“How the fuck could you Say something like that? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
His voice was like a whip lashing at my skin. I could feel the burn as if he was truly whipping me. Not that I would blame him. I was a cold mother fucker just now.
Looking towards the door, I almost wanted to go find her and then what? Say you’re sorry? Are you really sorry? I wasn’t so sure I was sorry. Sure, I wish I could take those particular words back, but hurting her yeah I wasn’t sorry for that.
“I should beat the shit out of you, but I won’t. I think you will regret this later.”
No. I, won’t I wanted to shout. But words fail me as he turns his back on me. Leaving me sitting on the cold floor, blood running down my face and anger boiling inside me.
Chapter 13
Danny
Should I run and keep running? Where would I go? There was no place out there for me and there was no place here for me. Sitting heavily onto the ground I pull my knees to my chest.
The world was a place that I didn’t fit in. No, I won’t sit here. It was time I figured it out. First, I needed clothes, then I needed to come back here and work so I could pay Axel back.
"Danny? Everything okay?"
Fighting the tears that wanted to well over, I look up into Ella’s sweet face. I contemplate the need to share it all. Maybe someone will remember me when I’m gone?
"No, Ella I’m not okay."
"What’s going on Danny?"
"Is there a place we could go and talk?"
Her eyes widen. "Yes, " her voice was gentle and kind.
The world may never know and Jesse may not care, but when it all falls apart like my world always does, someone will know my story.
Grabbing the hand, she so kindly held out to me, I stand and follow her. I didn’t want to go back in there. Tugging on her hand, trying to get her to stop. She looks back at me with confusion in her eyes.
"What’s wrong?"
"Please anywhere but here."
Nodding, she turns and walks in the direction of her car. My feet feel full of lead as dread settles into my stomach I wasn’t sure I could do this. Saying it all out loud was terrifying. It made it more real.
"Where’s Jace?"
"Oh, he’s inside the clubhouse."
Sighing in relief, I feel only slightly better as we make our way to her car.
"Where are, we going?"
"Looks like you could use a drink."
"After last night, I don’t think that’s a good idea." I whisper.
She turns to me so fast she was almost a blur.
"What happened last night?"
Shaking my head, I sigh, this is something I needed to share as well just not right here. Actually, that drink sounded good.
"I’ll tell you over that drink or fifty."
Opening the door, I slowly climb in. I feel like I’m headed to my doom.
Chapter 14
Made man
"Yeah boss, I found her."
"Where the fuck is she?"
Looking around, I take in the small hillbilly like town. Disgusting. Such a nasty place.
"She’s with some biker’s boss."
"I don’t give a fuck. Bring her to me she’s mine."
"Boss they have connections it won’t be that easy."
"Blow the fucking place up and drag her here by her fucking hair if you need to. She’s ready to breed and I need an heir."
"Got it, boss."
I wanted out of this fucking place.
"Keep your eye on her I’m headed your way. I need to get her pregnant. There is no time to waste. She should be ovulating."
If I could feel I would feel sorry for this chick. He was a nasty and violent.
"Text your location."
"Got it boss."
He was going to get us all fucking killed. If my suspicions are correct, they have Lark standing behind them and he was a scary motherfucker. He was the one you called in to kill the scary mother fuckers.
Without another word, he disconnected the line. I watch her and this other chick pull out of the lot. Following them at a safe distance I keep with them all the way to the bar.
Yeah, sweetheart, drink and drink a lot. You have no idea what’s coming for you.
Chapter 15
Danny
Walking into my first bar was just like I pictured it would be. Full of drunk’s loud music and the bartender wiping down the bar.
"I’ll get the drinks why don’t you go claim the table in the back corner."
Turning, I look at the table, she was pointing at. It was sitting in the corner with low lighting. All the surrounding tables were empty. Perfect. Giving her a quick nod I walk over to the deserted corner.
This was so hard. I can’t believe I was going to share my shame. Sitting heavily into the booths bench I fight the need to run I fight the need to stay silent and not share any of it.
"Here Danny."
Looking at the cup of orange liquid I look at her in confusion what is this?
Laughing, she answers my unspoken question. "Orange soda and whisky. Taste just like orange cream soda."
Huh. Grabbing the cup, I take the first sip tentatively. Oh yeah, that was good. I haven’t tasted an orang
e creamsicle in ten very long years. Draining the cup, I look at it and pout it was good I wanted, no I needed more.
"Is it that bad Danny?"
My tongue felt swollen. So, all I could do in that moment was nod in conformation.
"I’ll go get a few more."
Thank goodness. I need more of this heavenly drink to spill it all every dirty little detail. What is she telling people? It doesn’t matter, I will be moving on before she can share it all, anyway. I mean I’ll just ask that she waits a little before telling others.
She places the drink in front of me. Picking it up I gulp greedily.
"Danny, what happened to you?"
"So many things..." taking a deep breath I let it out before continuing.
"When we moved, my life changed in ways I could never have imagined. My mother hated me for being with Jesse so she punished me."
Her gasp has me looking up from my almost empty glass. Her eyes were sad.
"She locked me in the attic Ella. I wasn’t allowed outside contact. She beat me daily to the point I could barely move."
My fingers unconsciously rub at the scars on my wrist.
"She broke bones with pleasure. Her words were cruel and hateful. She had me examined to see if I was still pure."
I fight the sobs that want to escape. That was a devastating experience. "The old man doing it touched me not as a doctor, but like a man does a woman."
Keeping my eyes glued to the table I fight the urge to flee.
"I couldn’t contact Jesse I wasn’t allowed to. I thought of him every day Ella. Remembering him kept me going."
"Danny…"
"No, wait please."
Taking a moment to collect myself, I run my fingers through my long hair.
"They sold me, but not right away No, they had men coming by checking me out. They said I wouldn’t be ready until now when I will be in my prime breeding age. If I wasn’t good, mom would let them touch me. There was this one who came to the house every time a mean old man. I just knew he was going to buy me."
Jesse: The Son's Of The Apocalypse MC Page 3
