This was easier and yet harder than I thought it would be. My chest constricted and my body broke out in a cold sweat. I could feel the panic attack ready to take over. I needed to continue!
"He would get one on one ‘visitations’. He touched me a few times and I fought back, I didn’t want his hands all over my body Ella."
Shuddering in disgust as the memories wash over me. "I remember the smell of his breath as he leaned in close, whispering how he was going to take me and take me hard. He was going to make it hurt, and he was going to do it over and over until I got pregnant. Then he was going to share me with the others."
"When I hit him, he broke my hand one finger at a time."
The words just poured from me the drinks seemed to have loosened me up a little.
"One time I told him he would never have me that I belonged to another he choked me to the brink of the end. I could feel my life slipping away from me and there was nothing I could do to stop it, I remember pulling Jesses face to the front of my mind and how he would never know what happened to me and that I loved him until the very end."
It hurt to think of him waiting for me waiting for something that would never happen.
"I fought every day for him, to get back to him. I guess he didn’t wait for me." I whisper "Guess he didn’t want me the way I wanted him."
"I was starved and beaten. They degraded me, Ella, until I was just a husk of who I use to be before finding him. That leaving him alone was more devastating than my reality."
"The first time I tried to escape mom broke my leg, the second she broke both, the third she burned my back with cigarettes, by the fourth time I realized I needed to bide my time until I had my chance. The fourth time was the worst. She let them fondle me, make lewd comments, then when I was allowed to go back to my room, she broke my arms and whipped me with a belt."
"I think it was when she realized she loved whipping me it became her new favorite pastime instead of breaking bones, she whipped me. My back and butt are covered in scars."
To be honest, I was surprised Jesse didn’t notice.
"What happened last night Danny?"
"We slept together. I thought he wanted me like he used to, that he still loved me."
I couldn’t fight back the tears that the realization. Jesse didn’t love me anymore.
"Oh, Danny."
"No, it’s okay, I’m used to not being loved or wanted, I guess, I always had this hope, this knowledge Jesse loved me and wanted me, that I wasn’t forgotten."
"Danny, we all love you"
"I need to leave, Ella. I need to get away."
There was no hesitation in her response her voice was firm.
"Of course, I know just the place. Brandon has a cabin in the woods no one will tell where you are I promise."
My cheeks redden, I mean, I have no clue why I’m embarrassed to share this after everything else.
"I need new stuff, Axel loaned me the money I need to work to pay him back."
I watch her pull out her phone in confusion.
"Brandon, hey, I have a favor to ask.... Yeah, don’t tell Jesse but Danny needs a place... Oh yeah, that would be perfect!"
What the...?
"He said you could use it and he would pay you to keep it clean. There, all fixed. Now. Let’s get you some new clothes."
Slumping in my seat as so many emotions waged war inside me. I never thought this would happen to me, not after everything anyway.
Quickly, finishing my third drink. I try to follow her. Left leg good. Now the right leg. Good. Now the left. Was I stomping? I really, really hope not. Crap back to concentrating on where to put my feet. Wow! Being drunk was both fun and a lot of work, I mean how did people do this all the time?
Climbing into Ella’s SUV was just as interesting. I almost fell out five or a hundred times. I wasn’t really keeping track, it was too much work.
The next thing I knew we were at the store shopping. Wow, I have no clue how this all happened. I let Ella do all the work, I mean I haven’t had nice clothes in forever, but she seemed to be doing a great job at getting stuff I liked, I think.
Chapter 16
Jesse
She was gone. Danny was just gone. Anger surged through me almost consuming my entire being. Just like all those years ago, she was gone. Looking over at Ella, who at this very moment was glaring at me.
It almost looked like she wanted to rip me apart. She knew something, and I wanted to know what the fuck she did. It felt wrong not having her here. Standing I walk over to Ella I wanted answers, and I wanted them now.
"Where is she, Ella?"
"Don’t know who you’re referring to Jesse."
"Bullshit!"
Her eyes widen, yeah, I never yell. I’m usually the nice guy all laid back and relaxed but when it came to her, when it came to Danny I couldn’t be either of those things. I hated I was still concerned about her after everything she still gets under my skin.
"Leave her alone Jesse you’ve done enough."
She sounded sad, almost devastated. Did something happen to her, and no one told me?
"Look Jesse, there are a lot of things you don’t know. Not that you want to know, anyway. Just leave it alone."
"I don’t give a shit what you think about this Ella I want to know where she is and I want to know now."
For some reason this seems urgent I felt almost desperate.
"Shut your fucking mouth, Jesse. If I hear you speak to her like that again, I will beat the shit out of you."
Turning I look at Jace and snarl in anger and frustration.
"She knows where Danny is, my Danny, and I want to know where she is and I want to know now!"
"Your Danny? The same Danny you shunned and called a whore?"
Glaring at him at the realization hits me like a punch to the face I called her mine she’s not mine.
"Where is she?" my voice was dark.
"This isn’t like you Jesse. I have no idea what caused you to become this nasty asshole standing in front of me, but I swear if you don’t knock that shit out off, I will!"
Turning I look at Ella. I was getting nowhere here. Time to hunt her ass down. I will find her and when I do, I was going to spank her ass. Turning without another word I slam my way out of the club house. She had a lot to make up for. After all these years and I was going to make damn sure I took her as many times as it takes to rid her of my system, my heart and my mind.
Chapter 17
Danny
One month later......
The cabin was peaceful. Being alone for the first time willingly felt amazing. I needed this more than I realized. So much hope had been dashed. Everything I thought I had was gone. I just wish I wasn’t so sick.
Every morning for the last week I have been emptying my stomach in a violent way. Ella was supposed to come out today and drop off some food, maybe she could go back into town and get me some medicine.
The phone was ringing. Frowning, I rush to the cell phone Ella gave me for emergencies. She was the only one who knew where I was and the only one who had this number.
"Hello Ella?"
A male chuckle was ringing in my ears. Swallowing hard.
"Where’s Ella?"
"Oh, she’s right here."
"Can I speak to her?"
Dread was starting to settle in the pit of my stomach. That voice sounded familiar and not in the happy to hear from you sort of way.
"No, she’s a little tied up right now."
Tears fill my eyes as it all sank in, this was one of the men who accompanied the man who bought me. They have found me.
"Please let her go she has nothing to do with this."
"I’ll make a deal with you I won’t gut her like a fish if you willingly meet me."
I knew if I met up with him it would be over for me. But I couldn’t leave Ella to die. She was my friend, and she had a family who loved her. What did I have?
"If I promise to meet you, will you let her go
?"
The line was silent. Fear started to rise up my throat I physically felt ill.
"That is all I want. Where are you?"
"First, let her go. I want her to call me on this line and tell me she’s okay and I promise you if you don’t do this I will know."
The chuckle I received was cold and dark. You could hear the darkness that consumed him seeping from his voice.
"Smart little one. I’ll give you that, but if you follow through, I promise you your little friend will meet the fate you are bargaining for to be released from."
"I promise I won’t change plans after you follow through."
There was nothing left for me anyway, the one thing I was fighting for was a myth, a fairy tale, my prince was cold and full of hatred.
"Good girl. Keep the line open your friend will be calling."
With that the line went dead. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I look around the cabin that had become my sanctuary. I felt freedom for the first time in ten years. I think I always knew he would come for me.
Sitting heavily onto the couch, I let the tears fall freely. I was mourning the loss of the life I could have had all those years ago, a life I will never have now. I think I knew that as soon as Jesse walked into the room and the temperature dropped thirty degrees.
I will not let this destroy me, I promise myself. I will end it before I let him touch me. The one good thing that came from all of this. I finally felt what it was like to be with Jesse even if for only a little amount of time.
I could leave this world with the memory of his touch and the beautiful moment we shared. I would not let them take this from me after they have taken so much already. I was stronger than I have let myself believe, and it was time I remembered who I use to be.
Holding the phone like it was a lifeline and I guess it was in a weird life altering kind of way. Looking inward I ask myself who am I? Am I always going to be a victim? Do I want to be the victim?
No! I will never be the victim again. As soon as Ella calls, I’m going to call Jace to get her. I wanted them to tell Jesse someday, when he didn’t hate me as much, that I loved him even in the end.
Steeling my spine, I remind myself of who I was before all this happened and who I needed to be. I may never be her again, but I sure as fuck could come close. I will not let everything that was done break me.
I was someone. People cared for me. I wasn’t truly alone in the world. This sacrifice was one I will willingly make. She was my friend, and this was my nightmare and I needed to see it through.
I could feel the resolve settle over me. The ringing of the phone had me jumping slightly.
"Ella?" I whisper. Why I whispered I have no idea, no one was here listening to me.
"Danny?"
Her voice was rough. What did they do to her?
"Are you okay?"
"I’m fine you need to run do you understand get out of there."
Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath.
"I’m sorry Ella but I just can’t. I need you to do something for me please."
The silence was damning. Was she really free?
"Did he let you go?"
"Yes, I’m in the grocery store now."
"I’m so sorry I never wanted this to happen. Please believe me." My tone was pleading.
"This isn’t your fault Danny. Do you hear me? This isn’t your fault!"
She was trying to make me feel better. I know this is on me and nothing could be said to change that.
"I need you to do something for me."
"What?"
"I need you to tell Jesse, when it’s time, when he finally is ready to listen.... I need you to tell him I loved him. I need you to tell him everything."
The silence was damning. It was almost like she was gone, but I could hear the hitch in her breath.
"I’ll tell him. I wish you would run. We can help you."
No, no they couldn’t, not really. I didn’t want anyone else to be hurt because of me. This was my fate, and I was going to walk into it like an amazon woman! Looking at my boob I decide to go in as half an amazon woman I mean I didn’t care too much to cut one of those off.
“Take care of yourself Ella."
"Please Danny don’t do this."
"I’m calling Jace right after I hang up, he will be right there to get you, but please stay with a large group of people until he does."
"At least keep the phone Danny."
Gripping the phone tighter I conceded this is something I could do for her it won’t do much good where I’m going but it will make her feel better.
"Okay, Ella I’ll take it."
I went to disconnect the line when I realized I never really thanked her.
"Thank you, Ella. Thank you for everything. I truly hope you have a wonderfully beautiful life."
The sob that came through the line was the last thing I heard as I disconnected the line. Immediately I call Jace.
"What" his voice was dark and coated with anger.
"Jace, it’s me Danny.… You need to go pick Ella up at the grocery store."
The line was silent for so long I feared he didn’t hear me.
"What the fuck is going on Danny? Ella disappeared three hours ago."
Sucking in a deep breath before I tell him something he will hate me for.
"I’m sorry they’re after me. I promise once I’m gone, it will all be over."
The string of curse words following that had a small smile spreading over my face. I was going to miss them; I was going to miss it all.
"Goodbye Jace. I’m so happy that I got to see you again."
Pulling the phone away, I pretend he wasn’t shouting into the phone as I push the red phone icon on the screen. These last few weeks have been amazing, I got to experience what it was to be a person again and for that I go to him knowing it was the end and I was going out with a smile.
Chapter 18
Jesse
Fear has taken a hold of the club. My search for Danny has come to a halt as the search for Ella became a priority. Danny has been missing for a month and it feels like forever. Ella disappeared three hours ago, without a trace.
There were a few mutters on where she was headed, but no one knew for sure where and if they did, it was kept hush-hush. I know she knows where Danny is and yet she refused to share that information with me if anything she has come to dislike me and has frozen me out.
Ella and Tessa were my best buds and for some reason I was kicked from their club. You know why my conscience whispers yet again. It has been hounding me since Danny showed up.
I know I was a fucking asshole to her, but she damn near killed me all those years ago. When she left, she ripped my soul from my body. Yes, I still loved her, but sometimes love isn’t good for you. If anything, it can get you killed.
I could hear it in his voice that he was talking to her. Talking to Danny the concern yet careful concealed anger and fear was clear to hear threaded into his voice as he responded to whatever she said.
His body tensed even more and something inside me snapped. Something was wrong very fucking wrong. I knew with everything in me it wasn’t good for Danny. Before I knew what, I was doing, I was standing next to Jace. I was ready to kick his ass for the chance to go wherever the fuck he thinks he’s going.
"FUCK."
Jace’s angry snarl had fear rising up my throat like acid. My heart hit my feet and refused to return to my chest. It flopped down there like a fish out of water. Struggling to breathe, to live. Dread was a feeling I had known well, but this kind of dread was a hell of a lot worse.
Almost like it knew this was final, there was no going back no hope for the future. I knew deep down that I was never going to see her again. No! I will not sit the fuck back and let her disappear again.
I didn’t even know what the fuck happened the first time. I was angry and hurt that she left I couldn’t see the desperation in her eyes, I didn’t hear the desperation in her voice from her need to
share whatever she needed to share. I sure as fuck can’t let her get away. If I did l would never know what happened all those years ago.
I deserved fucking answers. It was time to pull my fucking head out of my ass. I could do it for that long, at least. In all honesty, I’m not too sure it will make me want to have her stick around anyway but at least I’ll know. Because knowing is better than, not right?
Chapter 19
Danny
Turning the phone onto silent, I close my eyes and take the deepest breath I have ever taken in my young, yet, long life. This was it, the moment I got to be a hero going out almost guns blazing.
I laugh, I couldn’t help it. I’m walking to my death and yet I didn’t seem to care. I felt lighter somehow. I’m not sure if it’s because this nightmare was soon to be over, or if Ella tells Jesse the truth made me feel this way.
It could be a combination of both. But whatever it is, I was truly grateful for it. I wasn’t leaving this world forgotten and alone. Locked away in some gilded cage from hell wasn’t dying the victim either. No, I was dying the way I had dreamed about for the last almost ten years. Dying free. I escaped, and they weren’t dragging me back. No, I was sacrificing myself and I go willingly. Already having my final escape planned.
The plan to leave this world and wait out Jesse in heaven. I love him and only wish for him to forgive me. If I got only that much, then this, all of this would be worth it. Scanning the cabin one last time I slowly walk out the door and struggle and fight the urge to look back.
That was my fairytale life of sorts and it had no place where I was going. The thought of what I put into my shoe has a smile filling my eyes and putting a slight pep in my step. I had a few things, small things hidden just in case they find one of them.
They were little sharp objects. They were my future, smelling the air and soaking up the sun on my skin as I walk my possible last walk. You would think this would be depressing that it would hurt.
Jesse: The Son's Of The Apocalypse MC Page 4
