It doesn’t because I have accepted it. This was how it was always meant to be. The moment I stepped out of Jesses arms all those years ago, it was a clock ticking down to the moment when I would finish this all.
My parents won’t survive this I know they won’t and it has nothing to do with them caring about me. Oh no, my death will trigger theirs, I just know it. I think if it weren’t for Jesse I would have done this a very long time ago.
The very idea I was taking them with me had this feeling more everything. They were going to hell right where they belonged. I was doing the right thing, I know this. That Danny, the one who loved and dreamed of a future died a long time ago now it was time I joined her.
My feet felt heavy with each step, I faltered slightly. True freedom was in reach and I was drowning in the pain of loss. I lost it all. I always wondered what I did to deserve such a fate, but never have I received an answer or a conclusion.
I regretted not knowing who and what Jesse will bloom into. I was relieved I wouldn’t have to watch him love another. Give her everything I thought he would give to me. A small part of me wanted to run to them and beg them to save me.
Save me from my fate the fate I walk to quietly. This is how my world ends and it seems fitting in a strange sad kind of way. I know people will think I’m pathetic living my life for Jesse but you have to understand how it feels to love with everything in you. My young heart fell hard for Jesse and the amazing feelings he invoked inside of me.
Closing my eyes, I remember how the sound of his voice would twist my stomach into knots. How when he smiled at me my heart would stop and struggle to beat, the sound of his voice made my skin tingle.
The feel of his arms wrapping around me had my body melting into a boneless heap. His lips, touching mine had my mind going blank and my body feeling detached from the rest of me. Sometimes when he released my lips, I would look at myself to see if I was still in one piece. My love for him was what made me feel whole like he was a part of me. Like we were meant to be one.
Looking at my hands, I wonder what my life would have been like without him? Would I have suffered all these years? Does the very prospect have me regretting meeting him, loving him? No, nothing and no one will make me wish those away.
Looking around, I realized I was more than a safe distance away from the cabin. I didn’t want to share the location of such a haven. Pulling out the phone I dial the number that called me earlier.
"I’m ready."
"Good girl. I really didn’t want to hunt you down. As much as I enjoy the hunt I much prefer large prey to the weak little prey you are."
That kind of stung. Laughing at the absurdity of it all, I mean, I was offended this killer this horrible man, the very man who was taking me to my death hurt my feelings.
"I’m standing on route 9."
"Mmmhm."
"I’ll be right here waiting."
The line goes dead. How rude! No goodbye, really, Danny, that bothers you? Wow, I really was losing it. I debated whether I wanted to sit and wait or stand tall and proud. Yeah, I was going with the former instead of the latter.
I didn’t have to wait long. This black sleek car stops in front of me. Taking my last deep breath of freedom, I open the back door and climb in. There was a sharp pain in my neck and then nothing but darkness, blissful soul swallowing silence.
Chapter 20
Danny
The fog was lifting and so was the darkness. This was not how I planned this to happen, not even close. I needed to get to something, anything to save me. Sit up, SIT THE FUCK UP DANNY! My mind shouted.
My body reacted on pure instinct. My throat closed up when it finally sank in I wasn’t moving not because I didn’t want to, oh no, but because I couldn’t.
My eyes open slower than I wished they would. They felt dry and gritty. How long was I asleep? The need to wipe them was overwhelming, but I couldn’t. Forcing my eyes to scan the room, I take in the luxurious surroundings. I was on a bed, my hands were zip tied to the headboard, my feet were bound together and tied to the bed post.
Looking at myself a little closer I sigh in relief when I noticed my clothes were exactly where they should be. But my hands and feet were numb. The sound of the door opening had tears surfacing. My eyes were open so wide they stung.
I couldn’t let this happen to me, I wouldn’t leave this world with that man’s touch on my body.
"He wants a thorough examination of his future bride."
That voice was from the man who picked me up. But who drugged me?
"Of course,"
"I’m not leaving."
"Of course,"
Then there was a doctor peering at me through his bushy white eyebrows and thick coke bottle like lenses. I follow his hand as he sets the bag onto the table next to my head.
"Alright, dear, let’s have a look see."
He pulls out this pair of tiny sharp scissors and my eyes all but fall out of my head as he starts cutting my shirt. I was relieved he wouldn’t be cutting me up… Yet, anyway. Then it hit me he was removing my clothes. Twisting I shudder and shake as I fight and pull at my restraints.
I didn’t want him touching me.
"Shy, I see. Well, let’s start with some blood tests."
Sure, I got him to stop removing my clothes, but now, now, he was going to stick this long, sharp thing into my arm and suck out my blood like a vampire. I bet he would take too much and make me weak, too weak to escape.
His hand was getting closer. Think, Danny, think! Lifting my head, I sink my teeth into his arm, hard. He tugged and twisted his arm, but I refused to let go. Then the choice was taken from me when the man who took me, and brought me here to my demise, pries my mouth open. Pain filled tears fill my eyes as he forced my mouth open hard.
"Let me see, doc."
I watch as his hand extends out palm up. The doctor looked at me and shakes his head. Placing the needle into the, asshole of epic proportions, hand I cringe at the realization he was going to do it now.
You’ve survived worse, I remind myself over and over as he quickly, yet gently places it into my arm. My eyes dart up to him in shock. He wasn’t hurting me. Why?
"You will be in enough pain pretty soon sweetheart."
Something in me shrivels at the use of the endearment. Then all but dies when his words sink in. Shuddering as the reality of it all coats my skin.
"You get it now don’t you sweetheart. I’m feeling a little generous after that little show of strength I’ll give you a little good news.”
My breathing has become labored at this point. He was mean and nasty, but his boss, he was pure evil. Whatever good news he thinks he has probably won’t be good news to me.
"Boss won’t touch you until you have a clean bill health." The cruel smile told me he was enjoying the idea of his boss touching me. Shuddering as images of such things try to take over. No! I will not let them intrude.
"Maybe I’ll get to watch."
The shudders turned to full body convolutions. That will never happen, I remind myself. "You promised you wouldn’t let it get that far." My mind whispers. And I won’t I echo back. This is a sign I’m finally cracking. I’m treating my thoughts like a separate person.
Truthfully, if you really think about it after everything I’m surprised it hadn’t happened sooner. The door closes with an echo. Lifting my head as far as I could I scan the room. They were both gone. Exhaustion pulls at me and I fight it back. Now was not the time for a nap.
My dreams were nightmares. No matter how much I pinched and screamed at myself, I couldn’t wake up. Jesse was here, and he wasn’t alone. There was a beautiful blond haired girl wrapped around his arm, her face lifted and her focus completely on him.
Her swollen belly was a slap to the face. He had moved on and I had to watch it. I felt like I was watching a plane crash or a train wreck. Hell, it could have been a giant sinkhole that talked for all I really understood.
It was like flashes that wo
uld slow down only to speed back up. His life with her, the day they moved in together. The moment he stopped loving me because he loved her. The spark in his eyes that was only ever shown to me was now hers.
They had a daughter and got married. I think the worst was witnessing him making love to her. She had my life, and I got to watch from the sidelines. This was my future if I escaped here and made my way back to him.
It was a never-ending cycle over and over it would course through my mind burning the images into my brain basically imprinting them on my eyes. Whether they were open or closed, it didn’t seem to matter. They were there.
I felt the air as it was pulled from my lungs leaving me incapable of breathing. My heart left me all together, it couldn’t take the overload of pain it was feeling. Where my heart should be, there was a sprinkle of dust. Dust so black it was almost enough to suck the light out of what was left of me.
My eyes dimmed as tears welled and coursed down my face in a continuous river. My body was drying out as the tears flowed like a broken dam. Slowly I was dying. Fighting it seemed futile. "Peace awaits you the darkness whispers" Swallowing I let it pull and tug until I was being dragged to the pits of nothingness.
At least it was right. The voice promised peace in the darkness and peace is what I got.
Chapter 21
Jesse
I was physically in pain. Three days ago, I lost myself. My body was completely alien. Who was I? After Ella shared it all with me. Each whispered word dug in deep scooping more of me out. Ten years’ worth of suffering lashed at my skin.
After what I’ve done to her, how I treated her, how will she ever want to look at me again? I’ve been hunting over the last seventy-two hours and fifty-five minutes. Each breath I took without her was like a shard of glass ripping into my flesh. Each and every cut deserved.
Hollowness was consuming me. Danny just vanished like a puff of smoke, no one seems to have any fucking clue where she went or who took her. My hunt for her had me hanging men by their feet off roof tops, hoping the feel of blood rushing to their heads combined with the fear and knowledge death could take them at any moment, would get me what I wanted. I still got not even a whisper of information.
I felt like I was at death's door. I wished death would come for me. The thought of my life without Danny was like being punished with thousands of little cuts some deep some not, each one welling with blood. I could feel the blood drip from each cut mixing in with the others.
I would endure this; I would die like this for her. How could I not? I loved Danny I still do. I believe there is no cure for what I feel for her.
She’s it for me. I knew that the moment I laid eyes on her skipping down the road. Her brown pigtails bouncing and flowing in the wind. Her laughter was infectious. I knew in that very moment she was mine and always would be.
I searched and begged and demanded and got nothing. She just vanished into thin air. Almost like she didn’t even exist. I would have believed she didn’t if I hadn’t had my lips pressed to hers as she made little breathy sighs, or felt her in my arms as she pressed against me in both love and desire. If I hadn’t felt her skin caressing mine, then I would say yes, she wasn’t real not really.
But she was real, and she was mine. Rubbing at my face I try to clear the exhaustion that wanted to pull me in.
"Open the fuck up!"
Growling in frustration as I quickly open the door. I was about to tell Jace to go fuck himself. I mean this shit is all his fault he helped hide her and now she was gone.
"Her cell phone pinged we finally have a location."
The words swirled around in my head, trying to find, purchase, trying to find reasons, but as of this very moment reason has left me. But the words ‘we have a location’ finally snapped into place.
Why the fuck was he standing here. Standing in my fucking way. Slamming past him I stomp my way into the main room. My feet echoed off the walls. It sounded like a war drum and it matched the beat of my ever so shrinking heart perfectly.
"As soon as the dot appeared Jace came to get you."
"Let’s fucking go!"
Not waiting for a response, I run with heavy feet to the door. My heart has picked up its pace each pump was like a racket ball slamming into the wall it both hurt and kept me going. If I felt pain, then I knew it was real, that finding her was real.
Glaring at Axel as he climbed onto his bike the fucker was slow. Way to slow!
"Keep your shit in check Jesse and follow me. Do you understand?"
I just stared at him. He wanted me to promise to follow his lead and keep the shit storm brewing under lock and key? I couldn’t, no I wouldn’t do that. Danny deserved to know I loved her that she was worth more than a few moments of slinking in the shadows.
My refusal to respond had Axel shouting profanities that would have had even Tessa blushing at. Instead of forcing what he wanted out of me he took off and I was right on his ass. I wanted to be there I wanted to see it all.
Pulling up to the location had me wishing I could turn and disappear pretend this never happened that she didn’t show up after all these years that she didn’t disappear on me again.
My body stopped all motion, my lungs felt deprived and cold, my heart burst into dust as my eyes took in what my mind wanted to ignore. The building was gone all that was left was a burned-out husk.
My feet feel cemented to the ground I knew if I went inside there was no coming back. Watching in a tunnel like state as Axel walked back out of the building the look on his face was heart wrenching.
And I knew right there and then it was over. As soon as the realization hit, my feet were moving and no matter how I begged them to stop they kept going the closer to the building I got, the more the smell of burned flesh seared into my nose and imprinted onto my brain.
This was a smell you could never forget. I tried to fight I tried to stop, but I couldn’t. Finally stopping I wished I could move again to run from what I was seeing. There was a figure on what looked like a bed the skin was black and crispy. Her mouth was open in a silent scream.
My eyes refused to leave her. It had to be her I knew this. My knees hit the ground hard the impact causing a jolt to shake my body. I felt nothing and yet I felt everything. My heart disintegrated as pain unlike anything I could have ever imagined ever inflicted washed over me in a wave of devastation.
It was over. Danny was gone. Everything I had in this world was lying on that bed. Hands were grabbing at me trying to drag me from the room. I couldn’t leave her here, I couldn’t leave her like this.
"The vans on its way. They will take care of her Jesse."
Refusing to look at anyone, including Axel who was trying to tell me it was okay that they were going to bring her with us. I couldn’t take my eyes from her. Images of her dancing brown eyes looking at me in both love and mischief. Her lips soft and silky as she whispered my name and told me she loved me.
Our future, the future we will never have flashed before my eyes. Danny in her beautiful white wedding dress making her way to me. Her face lit in the most beautiful smile. Danny walking up to me, her shirt stretched over her rounded tummy. The life we will never have.
Darkness formed around the edges slowly consuming my sight. My lungs refused to work they were cold and hard. I pray for death as the darkness takes me.
Chapter 22
Danny
I was living a nightmare. This other made man, I’m guessing that was what he was. Brought in some blond creature who resembled a human, but wasn’t, not anymore anyway. Her eyes were glassy and empty her body was hunched in on itself.
Worst of all she was naked. Cuts covered her body. Some fresh others a few days old and then the scars so many silver colored lines covered her body. Most of the scars were raised and horrid, the others clean and precise.
She looked like an over loved voodoo doll. She was visibly shaking. Shadow man, aka the man who took me, stalks closer to my bed. I wasn’t ready to see the monst
er who did horrible things to this poor woman.
I watch his hands slowly reach for my bonds. Quickly raising my head, I snap at his fingers and let off little growls. I wanted him to think I’ve turned feral.
Anything to stop this from happening to me. Shadow man pulls back with a laugh.
"Don’t worry, he’s not ready for you, yet. He’s just cleaning his closet."
Shudders wrack my body as his words sink in. There were more of them? He considered them interchangeable? Like a new wardrobe? Once again, he reached for my wrist and again, I snapped my teeth at him.
His growl of frustration had a smile forming on my face, a smile that quickly turned to a grimace as his hand made contact with my face.
"Cut that shit out."
Turning my head, I spit out the blood and saliva. Before returning my attention to him.
"Go fuck yourself!"
Instead of another smack he laughed at me. His cruel laughter echoed in the room. Goose bumps rose all over my body as acid burned my throat.
"Fight all you want sweetness. The more you struggle the more he enjoys it."
Bile rushed up my throat. Swallowing it back, I glare at him.
"You’re a monster and Jesse is going to kill you!"
"Brave words. Alas, your friends won’t even know you’re alive.”
My mouth worked, but no words formed. What did he mean they will think I’m dead? Will I be dead? Of course, dumbest, remember your plan? My hands and feet were released. Pain rushed to them. It felt like thousands of knives stabbing into them.
I almost begged him to cut them off. It hurt so much. Tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes as the blood flow returned to the numb cold parts of my body. Shadow man scoops me up into his arms, then backs away from the bed.
My eyes stray to the poor girl who was being, at that very moment, escorted to the bed. Was he going to give me a demonstration? As soon as the thought entered my mind my stomach twisted as every part of my body revolted such a thing. I felt sick to the very center of my being.
Jesse: The Son's Of The Apocalypse MC Page 5
