by Jolene Perry
His words are like stepping stones putting all the falling pieces inside me back together. Or at least some of them. The rest will be up to me. I’m just not sure if it’ll be worth the effort. If they set the shadows free, it won’t matter.
“You know what?” He stands back and holds my shoulders with his hands. “We need a game. Distraction.”
Distraction feels impossibly far out of reach.
“I have no idea how we’re going to—“
Ocean knocks on our door, trying to get someone’s attention.
“Um…” Definitely Dean on the other side. “Do you need something?”
“A pack of cards? A snack?” Ocean asks.
“I’m not sure I want to open the door,” Dean says. “Not without Landon here.”
Ocean sighs. “Okay. I get it.”
Dean sighs on the other side. “Give me a sec, but don’t come out because I have more room than you out here and I’ll be ready with Kara’s taser.”
“Fair enough,” Ocean says. “I’ll ask my girl to reign in her fury.” He winks at me behind him.
I’m a little proud of the fact that there’s a healthy respect for what Ocean and I can do—and maybe also that he called me his girl.
There’s some shuffling in the kitchen and quiet voices.
“What’s my dad eating, huh?” Addison hollers down.
Of course it would come back to this.
“Whatever he likes!” I yell back. “We’re not barbaric. He’s damn picky about how his shirts are laundered, too!” I’m just guessing here since he was neatly pressed when we saw him.
Guess it works because she’s quiet.
The lock clicks and Dean tosses in a deck of cards, a few sodas, some chips and more cheese and crackers. “We didn’t have time to grocery shop,” he says as he closes and locks the door again.
“Now.” Ocean turns and smiles wide rubbing his hands together like a dork. “It’s time for distraction.”
“There is no way some crackers and cards are going to help me calm down.” At least I don’t think so.
“Follow Micah’s lead. Take a shower. I’m sure a boat this size has a water-maker. You know, it turns ocean water into fresh water.”
“I know what a water–maker is.” I sigh. Fine. Shower.
My hair is probably a greasy mess and even though my clothes are dirty, it’s better than nothing.
The hot water soothes my raw nerves, and relaxes my body in a way I thought it couldn’t, even though my elbows bump into the sides of the small bathroom while I do it. It’s not like we can’t stop the group from moving forward if we had to. It would be hard, but we might be able to tackle the four of them with some planning. And it’s not even like they’ve decided for sure. But one of two things will happen with Landon:
One – the shadows will take him now and use whatever gifts he has for as much gain as possible, or Two - they’ll try to convince him how good they are and how much they’re in need of his help.
I glance at my dress as I rinse off and bring it in the shower with me to wash. Worst case is that I’ll be stuck wearing a blanket for a while, though the chances of my dress drying in this humidity are slim.
When I’m done, I wrap the large towel around me as tightly as I can before stepping out.
“There are clothes in here.” Ocean taps the closet as his eyes focus very carefully on my face. “I’m next.”
I open the closet and there are packages of unopened underwear, and a few tanktops for girls, tees for guys, shorts, pajama pants…
Why?
And where did it all come from?
I decide I want to be in dry clothes more than I care where the clothes came from so I quickly get dressed in PJ shorts and a tank as Ocean showers in the tiny bathroom. Then I remember we’re on the boat with an Insighter, which means that Micah’s compulsions are probably strong enough to prepare for us. Interesting that our fate of being here was decided so long ago. Wonder if her or my dad saw us here first? And why he couldn’t warn me if he had?
The wind and rain continue to make a deafening noise as they slam into the side of the boat, and I know that probably forever, however long my forever is, this sound is going to bring me right back to this tiny room.
Three days ago I would not have been able to dream this situation.
“So, it’s like war?” I lean back and breathe in the smell of shampoo and Ocean when I should be paying attention. Though, he’s becoming a less scary distraction with every hour we spend on this boat.
We’re cross-legged on the bed, each with our backs to an opposite wall and me with a mouthful of ranch Doritos.
“Yes. But we have the added bonus of asking the other person a question when we win.”
“This sounds an awful lot like truth or dare without the dare.” I narrow my eyes and think that we’re sort of getting along and I’m teasing him a little, which might even be like flirting. Maybe I’m already distracted.
He shrugs and flips over his first card. “A five. What do you have?”
“Surely I can beat a five,” I say as I flip over a two.
Crap.
Ocean grins. “Have your parents always been in The Middle Men?”
“Always.” I nod. “I don’t think they meant for that roll to pass down in families, but it sorta happened. People need to rotate out of the house pretty often because the energy gets weird with the same people all the time, and it ended up easier leaving just a few people in charge to rotate everyone else in and out.”
“And one day you’d like to do it.”
“Yes,” I answer before thinking.
It feels like my answer almost saddens him because he frowns, even though I’m guessing he’s trying to hide it.
“We do some really amazing things, you know. It’s not all to get gain.” I’m feeling defensive and he hasn’t even said anything. Though, I’m not sure I could defend everything Mom has going on. Or why we feel the need to make so much money off of the Chinese government, or North Korea…
“I know. Your dad told me.” But his voice is soft and sad making me wonder if his reaction has something to do with his mother.
Before I ask him how he got so close with my parents so fast I flip over another card. “King.”
He flips another five.
“How long before you knew you weren’t alone in your gift?” I ask.
“My mom.” He sighs. “My mom is the same as me, but she played it off as something different. She never leaves the confines of our very small town and I’d never seen a shadow until I left, but she warned me. She said they sensed magic, just like her and I.”
“You and your mom are close.” A pang of envy hits me because the relationship with my parents isn’t like Ocean and his mom.
“Your one question is up.” He grins.
“I answered two.”
There’s a pause before his face changes slightly and he concedes the point. “Yes. We’re close. Like I said—I’ve always been at home. Lived at home. She hated me leaving for the school day even, and part of me always thought she was a little crazy. Now I just think she’s damaged.”
I’m not sure how to talk about his mom so I go back to him. “But you like the feeling that you’re not alone in what you can do.” The camaraderie is what brings a lot of people to The Middle Men. And it’s definitely what keeps us there. Aside from the many perks—cars, houses, a cool job, living a bit outside the bounds of normal people.
“Don’t we all?” he asks.
“I wouldn’t know.” I shake my head. Being on this boat makes me realize how alone I’ve been. Samson is the only friend I’ve spent any real amount of time around, and he’s in and out of the house just like we all are. I’ve always known I was special and talented, and always been around people who are the same. What I’ve rarely had are people I confide in.
His fingers touch my cheek and slide down my jaw as he looks at me too intently.
“Don’t.” I smile as I bat his hand away, not w
anting the distracting waves that he pushes through me without meaning to. Right now I’m getting to know him, instead of just his energy.
“Ten.” He flips over his card.
“Eight.” I frown. “We’re not really following the rules. Do we need to use the cards?” I ask.
“It’s distracting,” he says.
“And what do you need distraction from?”
“From the idea that the woman I trusted more than anyone in the world lied to me about my brother. And I know I need to be thinking about shadows and Middle Men and all that, but I can’t help but wonder why she did. And then I wonder why she let me go, knowing exactly what I’d find. That I’d know she lied. And then I wonder how she could have let Landon leave, or I wonder if she even had a choice. And just being in the same room as you is an…experience. So, it’s all a lot to take in.”
I’m not sure how to respond to his last comment, so I ignore it.
“I think we did it backwards. The game, I mean.” I try to smile but his eyes look hollowed out. “I’m sorry you can’t call your mom now.”
“Me, too.”
“You could try the watch,” I suggest.
Ocean pauses. “Promise not to get mad if I tell you something?”
I pull my knees up between us, ready to listen.
“I don’t want to even try to use our watches now. I don’t want The Middle Men interrupting us and these people.”
I’m not sure I totally understand what he means, so I’m not sure if I should be freaking out or not.
“It’s that we’re learning so much. For me, this is almost the opposite of The Middle Men, you know? People with gifts trying not to be in that group. Just a group trying to figure out our world on their own. I like that.”
“But they’re working toward something they shouldn’t be. And they are a group—just a smaller one.” I shake my head and then run a hand through my nearly dry hair. I’m frustrated, but not horribly. He’s just learning, and maybe in a way we all are. Even me.
“You know what?” Ocean’s head cocks to the side just slightly and everything in that small gesture slams into me because he and Landon are so much alike.
“Hmmm?”
“I like you. A lot. Even if we didn’t have this crazy energy thing between us, I’d like you. There’s something sort of amazing about someone so driven, and focused… But when you let me see past that… Let me hold you and dance, or when I hear you talk to your friend, Samson… I want more of that girl. I want you to not be afraid of sharing her with me.” He pauses and I still don’t know how to react. It’s just so personal and open, and…
He sighs. “God, I sound like a moron. I hope you take that as some sign that I mean it all.” The sincerity of his words nearly undoes me.
I stare at my knees as I watch my hands together. I’ve handled hostage situations in Yemen and dealt with new recruits at home and so many other things, but this, him telling me he likes me, throws me into a world I don’t understand.
“Kara?” he whispers as his hands slide up and down my calves.
“What?” My voice shakes, and I’m not sure how to look at someone who’s just admitted they like me.
“Can we try the kiss again?”
“You’re seriously thinking about that now?” And there’s a definite part of me that wants his kiss, but there’s still a part of me that’s so afraid of him. Of what being with him would mean—or really with anyone.
He pauses and starts to lean back away from me.
No. Wait.
I lean forward onto my hands and knees and press my lips to his just as a knock at the door sends me flying back to my side of the bed.
Ocean’s eyes are wide as he runs a finger down the back of my hand ignoring the knock, at least for now.
“Yes?” he calls, his eyes still on mine. My chest still fluttering from my bravery.
“I want to tell you about your brother.” There’s some minor shuffling, like Micah’s shifting her weight. “I need to.”
“We both want out. Up,” Ocean says.
There’s a long pause and some more shuffling and low murmured voices.
“Can you behave?” Ocean asks me quietly with a wink.
“If they can.”
He takes my hand and kisses my palm shooting energy through me. “They’re okay. We’re okay.”
The thing is, though. Ocean doesn’t know that. He can’t. They probably think they’re in the right, and I know I’m in the right. For now, we’re at an impasse. I’m not exactly sure what he hopes to accomplish, but at the same time, the more time we talk with them, the more likely they are to come around to my way of looking at the situation. I hope.
Maybe it’ll be more like me and Ocean talking, and me not totally understanding him, but sort of understanding. Maybe if I can just get them to that point. Or maybe what I need to be doing is what he suggested in the beginning—just be nice and see where it leads us.
NINETEEN
Kara
I’m sandwiched on the back side of the table between Ocean and Dean. Not by accident. It’s been a few hours and there have been no signs of Landon. Addison and Micah seem to be taking turns opening the door and taking the few steps up just to check.
If he half falls out of that hole like he did last time, we’ll all hear it because he’ll drop on the roof above us.
Micah’s eyes are rimmed in red, and I wonder how much of the past few hours she’s spent crying.
Ocean’s quiet, waiting for her to say something. I’m beginning to wonder why she bothered to bring us up.
She’s biting her lip and clutching her hands together under the table.
Suddenly her eyes hit Ocean’s and she just starts talking. “He’s the youngest of his brothers. Looks a bit like his dad, and maybe like your mom. I’m guessing that’s how it worked.” Micah shifts.
Ocean nods. “That’s my guess, too.”
“So, anyway… I know you’re on the other side or whatever, but you need to know how good he is. That he takes care of the people around him without a thought. That he believed what I could do before he understood what he could do and before he had any reason to believe me.”
“Why did you tell him?” I ask. In my experience, most of the people who don’t have someone around to tell about their talents, end up incredibly reclusive, because they recognize that they’re different. Weird.
Addison’s dad didn’t say anything to her because he wanted to see how she would handle her gift on her own. He really did have The Middle Men in mind because he didn’t want to send her to us unless he knew she could handle it, and the way to find out is to see what she did with her talent. Or, now that he’s in custody for telling her to run away, that’s not what he had in mind at all.
“I told Landon because I brushed up against him, and I saw a vision with me in it, and felt how he felt for me and after pushing into myself that I’d always be alone, it suddenly didn’t feel that way anymore.” There’s a wistful smile on her face that I recognize from my parents, and also a pang of loss and maybe stupidity in knowing that the boy I watched for too long is in the right place.
I scoot a few inches closer to Ocean, and he glances down at the shrunken space between us with a small smile.
Now that I have some back-story on Micah and Landon, I want to know about Addison and Dean.
I’ve been determined for a long time that I won’t be one of those couples who rush into being together because of energy, but I feel like that’s exactly what happened with both couples we’re sharing a boat with. And now it seems like it’s what’s happening to me, too. I’m trying to use my head, but it’s tricky with how mixed up everything is when Ocean’s close.
“What about you two?” I turn to Dean and Addison.
It’s the first time I’ve seen a real smile from her, and her and Dean’s hands are locked together as they almost always seem to be, making me wonder if they can talk without speaking out loud. Probably. Both with Manipulation
. Being together would be tricky, and again would take a lot of trust.
“Can you two talk? You know, without talking?” I ask.
Addison’s eyes widen slightly and she gives me a nod.
“How did you two end up together?” I feel like I’m doing it. I’m in a group and we’re talking and it’s okay. A little lob-sided because I’m their prisoner, but in this moment, it doesn’t feel like it. At least not totally.
“We were both in court on the same day, ended up in a juvie class together,” Dean explains.
I stare at Addison. Mr. Prince let his daughter go to some random juvie class?
“Dad forgot to sign my waver.” Addison sighs. “But he made up for it.”
Oh. Right. Her dad’s big heroic act that got him arrested. “You know, I’m friends with the few people who were sent to get you. They’re not bad people.”
“And maybe you’re not either.” Dean stares at me hard. “But that doesn’t mean we agree or wanted to go.”
I want to argue, but I’m supposed to be playing nice here. “Fair enough.”
A thump above sends everyone but me and Ocean flying out the door.
“If you want to make our great escape, we could swim to shore now.” He rests his arm over me and kisses the side of my face.
I pull away, suddenly feeling trapped by him and everyone else. Listening to them talk about being together or how they met makes it all too real. Ocean and I could have a “how we met” story and the thought of that is…strange. And then when he doesn’t move his arm I slide into him, because it suddenly isn’t so strange. It’s Ocean, and he’s not only my one ally in this, but also someone I’m beginning to trust with more than just my job, and I can count those people on one hand.
“We can wait until the storm clears, or stick around until we’ve convinced them to come with us, or to at least give up their chase toward where the shadows want them to be,” Ocean says quietly.
“Is that what you still want?” I ask.
“If it’s the right thing.”
IF. Right. Because even Ocean, who is supposed to be on my side, maybe isn’t.
My stomach drops when Landon shuffles through the door—guess he didn’t drop out this time. He looks like pale ash—sickly and his coughing shakes the room.
