A jagged sob shook Cora’s body. Of all the things he could have done, walking out on her when she needed him most was like cutting the fabric which held them together. She wasn’t sure if she would ever be able to recover from the pain obliterating her heart.
Cora thought Gunther had been exhibiting some feelings toward her with all his staring and bumping into her on purpose. Now she wasn’t sure what was going on in that head of his.
Whispering a prayer, she hoped the baby would be healthy and Gunther would come around and be as good a father as he was with Grey and her kids. Until then, the situation was bleak, and Cora vowed to do her best to avoid Gunther all together.
As soon as the door to the gym closed, Gunther dropped to his knees. Head hanging, his body quaked as the silent cries wrecked him. Inhaling through his nose, a sob sounded as he tried to exhale. He swiped his hand across his face and managed to suck in another breath.
“Fuck,” he whispered, feeling his gut knot up. Face tipped toward the ceiling, he swallowed. “I’m so sorry, Quinn. I fucked up. I love you. Please, don’t be disappointed in my actions. Please…” More sobs tore from his throat. “Help me make this right. I don’t know what to do. Help me, please. Intervene before I fuck everything up. You’re my only hope now.”
Lost and afraid, Gunther jumped to his feet and stalked to the weight rack. He loaded up the bar, stopping at four hundred and five pounds. He could push out twenty reps at that weight. He knew he should have a spotter, but he didn’t care.
With blurred vision, Gunther lay back on the bench, ready to burn out his emotions. After drying his palms on his shorts, he gripped the bar. He breathed deeply a few times before he lifted it from the holds. Each rep forced out a grunt.
By the time he hit ten, fatigue had already settled into his arms, but he was determined to push through it. He needed to conquer something because, seemingly, he couldn’t master his life.
At fifteen, sweat rolled off him.
At sixteen, a growl ripped from his throat.
At seventeen, the struggle grew tenfold.
At eighteen, he growled again, his arms shaking uncontrollably.
At nineteen, he tried to heave the bar up, but it stayed plastered to his chest.
White blazing heat ran through his arms. Gunther heaved and growled, trying with everything he had to get the twentieth in, but the heft of the weight was crushing him. Defeat rattled through his mind. He didn’t have enough left in him to get the bar off his chest one last time, but if he let go, the bloody thing would roll right to his neck and kill him.
He had a momentary thought. Would it be that bad if I died? The tears began to fall again, thinking about everything he had done…
Ruining Henry.
Carly and their unborn.
The virus.
Quinn, Grey, and their unborn.
Quinn’s and his unborn’s deaths.
The recruit Henry said looked remarkably like him.
Cora…
She saved him and Grey. She was a woman full of unselfishness, ready to help anyone at any given time.
Gunther did have feelings for her, just not in the same way she felt for him. If only he could take back the moment he decided to pursue her for sex.
Now another pregnancy? What a disgusting mess.
His grip loosened on the bar, now moving at a slow decent toward his neck. Shutting his eyes, he felt his children would be better off without him.
Josie situated Jake in bed, then went to clean up the bloody mess on the floor. She cringed as she picked up a tooth.
“Jake? Henry wants to know how this happened, but I wouldn’t tell him unless you gave me permission first.”
“I don’ wan’ to think abou’ it anymore today,” Jake mumbled, lying on his side with his back to her. “Jos…,” Jake whimpered.
Josie dropped the towels and ran to his side. “I’m here.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
She ran her fingers through his hair. “Why? You have no reason to be sorry.”
“Getting you involved in my bullshit is reason enough.”
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not, Jos. This was what I was talking abou’. You don’ wan’ to get involved with someone like me. Once I get well enough to be on my own, I’ll leave you alone.”
Stunned he would even say such a thing, Josie exclaimed, “No, Jake! I don’t want you to leave me alone. I feel like we’ll be happy together.”
“I don’ deserve happiness or someone as kind as you.”
“Yes, you do. People make mistakes.”
“Jos…” He reached for her hand.
She pulled him into a hug and held him until he fell asleep. She wanted to try to make him feel better, but the only way would be for him to forgive himself. After a while, Josie conked out, as well.
Josie woke to Jake running his fingers up and down her arm. With a groan, she snuggled into his chest, soaking in his warmth.
“Hey, babe,” he murmured into her hair.
“Hey, yourself.” She sat up on her elbows to check his injuries, gasping. “Oh, Jake. Your face is all swollen. How long have you been awake?”
“A while. Is it weird that I was watching you sleep? You just looked so beautiful and peaceful. Tha’s creeper material, isn’ it? Christ, I’m a damn creeper!”
She laughed. “Jake, stop! No, it’s not weird. How are you feeling?”
“Like I was pummeled in the head and body a few times.”
“I bet. You look and sound like it, too.”
“Hmm…” Jake took a deep breath and closed his eyes. She rested her head back on his chest. “Jos…” His fingers traveled up and down her slender back.
“Hmm?”
Jake sighed. “I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I’ve been carrying that around with me for a decade. Thank you for helping me,” he murmured, stroking her shoulder. “Even if I got my ass kicked, it was worth it.”
“You’re welcome. I still feel like you should’ve fought back.” They lay there, quiet and intertwined, listening to each other breathe until she spoke again. “The last step in the healing process is for you to forgive yourself, Jake.”
He sucked in a sharp breath. “I don’ know if I can.”
“You will.” Josie slithered up Jake’s body and kissed his bruised lips.
He groaned. “I wish I could kiss you back the way you deserve to be.”
“Shh… You’re fine.”
Placing her finger over his lips, she willed them to heal faster. She planted several gentle kisses at his jaw, feeling the hard rasp of his whiskers on her lips. She moved to his ear and ran her tongue around the edge, nipping at the lobe. Jake let out a contented sigh, so Josie continued to place tiny kisses down his neck.
Jake’s groan vibrated her body. As Josie continued her gentle but sensual affection, she felt him hardening against her thigh.
She helped him out of his shirt and continued to kiss him down his chest, exploring his body with a novice approach. Being as tender and loving as possible, she placed little kisses over the scarring.
When she flicked her tongue over his nipples, he squirmed. “Uhh… I like tha’.”
“Yeah?”
Josie did it repeatedly until he was panting. Nipping at his taut and scarred flesh until she reached his abdomen, Josie tickled her fingers over his abs. Gaining the courage, she brushed her hand over his hard length.
“Oh fuck,” Jake moaned.
Excited for what the moment held, Josie slid down over his hardness and straddled his thighs. She pulled off her sweatshirt, exposing her tight tank top, then she took that off, as well.
His eyes were closed and lips parted. A smirk lifted her lips at how oblivious he was.
“Jake?”
“Hmm?”
“Look at me,” she murmured.
He lifted his head and cracked opened his purpled, swoll
en eyelids. “Oh, fucking hell. You’re amazing.” He reached his hands out and slid them up her ribcage and to her small breasts. When the pads of his thumbs grazed across her nipples, she let out a loud, satisfied exhale. “I wish I could kiss your body how I want to. You’re so beautiful,” he murmured.
“Thank you, but all in due time.”
Josie slid down, helping Jake out of his pants. His breath caught in his throat when he was exposed. She smirked again.
A small touch of panic ran through him, eyes widening. “What?” he asked, worried about her reaction, feeling self-conscious about his body.
“You look good and, umm…a lot.” She hoped her small body could accommodate him.
Jake smiled as best he could. “Even with all of this fucked up mess of scars and bruises?”
“Yes, Jake. You’re hot. I wish you could see that about yourself.” She reached down and lazily ran her fingertips over his shaft, causing his hips to buck up, almost knocking her off.
“Shit.” He exhaled and pulled her hand away.
“You don’t want me to touch you?”
“I absolutely do. Like this, though.” He took her hand and wrapped it around himself, showing her his method. “Slow and tight is wha’ I like until I get close, then it’s no holds barred.” He groaned from the mimicked stroke. “Fuck…” His breath caught as she circled her tiny thumb around his tip. “So much better when you do it. Oh god… So much better.”
With all of the touching and listening to his ragged breathing, Josie’s body was begging for some attention. “Are you feeling okay enough to sit up against the wall?” she asked in a heated whisper.
“Yeah.” She stood and dropped her bottoms. Even with his swollen eyes and blurry vision, she was a vision of beauty to him. “Shit, look at you. Damn.”
“What?” she asked with a smirk.
“Nothing. I’m aching here. I’m just… I don’t know. Excited, I guess.” He settled against the wall.
“You ready for me, Jake?”
His checks flushed with embarrassment. “I’ve only done this once before, so you’ll have to bear with me.”
“No worries. I’m not all that experienced, either, so I think it’s pretty awesome we’ll be learning together.”
“Guess it will be a discovery all around then.” When Josie straddled his lap and rocked her heated core against him, he groaned. “Oh god. You’re goin’ to make me come if you do tha’.”
“Maybe we should get down to business then. Hold yourself up.”
Jake palmed himself as she kneeled over him, then settled down and rocked her hips. She cried out into his neck as he stretched her beyond the limits.
Once she felt a little comfortable and began to move her hips, Jake laid his head back against the wall. “Oh fuck, baby. So warm and tight.”
“Touch me, Jake.”
He lifted his head. “Where? Show me.”
She took his hand and placed his thumb right where she needed. “Rub gently while I move.”
A shudder coursed through her small body as the sensations from his soft touch radiated. His other hand caressed her sides and back. Methodically, she rocked her hips, remembering the motion Josiah taught her.
The heat raced through her. Needing more, she picked up the pace, wanting to feel him crushed against the limit.
Jake’s breath started to become ragged and uncontrolled. “Holy Christ, Jos… You feel so fucking good,” he panted. She grabbed his head and pulled him into her chest. He wrapped his long arms around her body, following her rhythm, ignoring the pain from his injuries. The moan that tore from his throat was deep and his breathing picked up to a staggering rate. “Uhhh, fuck. I’m close…”
Her body trembled as his rapid pants tickled her soft, pale skin.
Then it happened.
The hot and heavy waves ripped through her, spine arching, head thrown back.
She let out a scream of passion and rode out the orgasm. “Fuck, Jake! Fuck!” She was unhinged and out of control, wildly shaking and screaming. Her core viciously pulsated around his shaft repeatedly, as if it would never end, grabbing and taunting him.
Watching her shatter, knowing he did that to her, felt unbelievable. “Jos… My beautiful, Josie.” The murmur of her name sent her over the edge again. “Oh god, babe,” he said, feeling his moment was at hand.
To Josie’s surprise, Jake shoved her off to palm himself, but she found it very erotic watching him stroke his cock. He groaned when the orgasm hit, his seed kicking out all over his abdomen. His hand went still and they stared at one another for a few moments until she reached for a towel.
After cleaning up, Josie straddled his hips once more. She rested her head in the crook of his neck, exhausted. He held her close.
She felt him shudder a few times until his body relaxed. “You all right?” she asked.
“God, yes. It was….” She lifted her head and smiled at him. “Never mind. I have no words.” They chuckled.
“Best yet,” she murmured, brushing her lips across his.
“Yeah?” His smirk said he was quite proud of himself.
“Yep. Your, uhh…piece is much more than… Let’s just say it’s better.” Jake smirked again. She poked him in the chest. “Next time, you get to do me.”
“Absolutely. I’m so looking forward to tha’.” She kissed his bruised face. “Sorry about shoving you off like tha’. I didn’t want to come in you.”
“That’s fine. The last thing we need is for me to get pregnant.”
“You got tha’ right,” he said through a yawn. “Listen, babe. I’m really tired. I think I need to sleep again.”
Josie stood and dressed before helping Jake lay down again. After covering him, he snuggled into the pillow.
“Rest up, hot stuff,” she said, brushing his hair off his forehead.
“Jos?”
“Yeah?”
“I know this sounds sudden and maybe a little weird…” He paused for a moment, trying to gauge her. His brows furrowed. “Fuck it. I’m in love with you.” The seconds ticked away silently and agony crept into his chest, fearing he made a mistake by telling her how he felt.
“I’m in love with you, too,” she said with a soft smile.
He let out a contented sigh and drifted off into a sexually fatigued slumber.
Chapter 18
I plopped down in the chair next to the desk. Elaina shifted in the bed and faced me. “You okay, lover?”
“Yeah.” I scrubbed my face, then shook my head. “Chris did a number on Jake.”
“Is he going to be all right?”
“Yeah. Facial injuries, bruising on his torso, probably a concussion… I’m having him stay with Josie until he’s better.”
“What happened? They were so close. Like brothers.”
“I’m clueless. Josie said it was something personal. I’ll meet with them in about a week and try to clear the air. Fucking drama. It never ends. Comes with the territory, I suppose.” I shoved my hand through my hair and stood. “I hate all of this, Elaina.”
“I know you do but, considering the circumstances, you’re going to have to deal with it.”
Shaking my head, I said, “It makes me mental. I have enough issues of my own already. Now I’m dealing with everyone else’s, as well.” The more I talked, the angrier I felt. It was like a constant uncontrollable vibration, and when shit got out of hand, it went from lingering below the surface to exposed, raw, and heady. “I need to go do something before I stew too long. I’m going to get Gunther and start a fire in the pit. Maybe you birds can cut up the vegetables that are starting to turn and roast them.”
“Oh, really… Maybe if you asked nicer.” She stood and stalked up to me, lifted brow, hands on her hips.
Her playful tone made me smirk. “Oh, sweet love of mine, would you be so kind as to gather the womenfolk and make dinner? Pretty please, with full throttle orgasms on top?”
“That’s more like it.” She leaned forward,
lips hovering over mine. I reached around her and squeezed her ass before leaving the room.
I trudged down the hall, praying for no more drama. I was tired of it and it made me want to put a fist through a wall. Some peace and quiet would’ve been glorious.
I knocked on Cora’s door. Several seconds went by before she cracked it open. Gauging from her puffy eyes and tear-stained face, it was very apparent she had been crying.
“Hey… You okay? You need to talk? I can go get Elaina.”
“No,” she croaked. “I’m fine. Just a bad day.”
“We all have those.” Wasn’t that the bloody truth?
“Yeah.” She wiped her cheeks with her arm.
“You sure? She won’t mind.”
“No, I’m fine. What do you need?”
“Is Gunther around?”
With a sharp tone, she said, “He left for the gym.”
“Excellent. Thanks.” I started to walk off, then stopped. “We’re going to get the firepit going. If you have a minute, can you give Elaina a hand with the prep for dinner?”
“Yeah, sure.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. I had never seen her like that before and it concerned me. Maybe she just hid it well. “Thanks. I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Yeah,” she said before shutting the door.
Shaking my head, I headed off toward the gym. As I approached the door, I heard some strangled cries and growls. Must be deadlifting again. Fucking ass should’ve waited for me. I threw open the door. “Thanks for… What the fuck?!”
The bar was an inch from Gunther’s neck. His face was turning purple and the sweat was pouring off him.
I ran to the bench and grabbed the bar, managing to lift it enough for him to slide out from under it. He slipped off the bench and hit the floor.
“What the fuck are you doing?! You could have killed yourself, you stupid fuck! What’s even on here?” I looked at the bar and did the calculation. That can’t be right… I calculated again. “Four-oh-five? Have you lost every cell up in that head of yours?”
Blind Faith (Shattered Lives, Book Four) Page 16
