The silence was long and heavy. Gunther was busy wiping the tears pouring down his face.
“You still there?”
“Yeah,” he croaked. “I’m sorry. I just…”
“It’s okay. We can pick a different name.”
“No, no. That’s… Josie, it would make me so proud if you did that. It means she made a huge impression on you.”
“She did. I wear the necklace you gave me every single day.”
“Oh, lass… I love you. You’ve made me so happy.”
“I love you, too,” she murmured.
“I knew you would take care of the necklace.”
“I hope to pass it on to my child.”
Gunther lay back against the pillows and sighed. “Can I talk to you about something?”
“Depends… Is it about you and Cora having sex? Because if it is-”
“No,” he interrupted. “We haven’t since we made Everette. She hardly allows me near her.”
“I swear, you two… Stubborn as mules.”
Gunther chuckled. “Watch yourself, lass. Don’t be nasty to dear old dad.”
“Talk to me.”
“It’s about…Quinn.” He gulped and rubbed his hand over the pillow next to him. “I have dreams about her. The last one sent me into some sort of massive panic attack. I don’t know what to do.”
“What kind of dreams?”
“I’m always sleeping and she wakes me up. She talks to me, touches me… Her smile is stunning. I miss her something fierce.”
“Me, too,” Josie whispered.
“Not that long ago, she came to me one night and said ‘Don’t walk in my shadow.’ It took me a little while to understand what she was trying to tell me.” He rubbed his face and realized how he sounded. “I’m mental, aren’t I?”
“Not at all. What was she trying to tell you?”
“Her face kept shifting from hers to Cora’s, then back again. She wants me to let her go and move forward.”
“Then do right by her. It’s time, Gunther.”
“I don’t know if I can handle it. What if something happens to Cora? It would surely kill me.”
“You can’t live like this,” she chided. “If the situation were reversed, do you think Quinn would be like this?”
“I don’t know. I hope she would at least wallow for a few minutes.”
“Gunther… You know she would’ve been a mess, but you also know she would move forward. Would you expect her to never love again?”
“Of course not. I’d want her to live a fulfilled life.”
“That’s exactly what she would want for you. Why are you doing this to yourself?”
He rubbed his face, then his thigh. He glanced around the room, wanting to avoid saying it once more, but he knew he needed to. “I’m scared,” he whispered.
“Let’s be real for just a minute… Everyone loves and loses, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Someone has to die first. Unfortunately, through no fault of your own, the love of your life died before you.”
“But it is-”
“Shut up. It’s not your fault and it will never be your fault.”
“Josie…”
“There is a beautiful and amazing woman waiting for you to stand up and be hers. She’s dying for the two of you to make something of what you already have.”
“Do you think she fears love and loss, as well?”
“Ask her! What is wrong with you?”
“I don’t know…” He trailed off.
“She needs you and you need her. Can’t you see that?”
“Yeah, I can.”
“I wish I could reach through this phone and shake you. Wake up, Gunther. You’ve let this torture you long enough. It’s time for you to buck up and go to Cora. Allow her to infiltrate that loving heart of yours.”
He wondered when his lass had become a woman full of wise words. “You’ve become awfully sassy in your pregnant state, lass.”
“It’s for your own good.”
The door creaked open. Cora peeked in and whispered, “Dinner.” He nodded at her.
“All right, lass. I have to run. Cora has my dinner ready.”
“See! She even cooks for you! I bet she washes your boxers, too.”
He let out a soft chuckle. “Yes, that is the case. I’ll think about it, Josie.”
“Serious consideration?”
He swallowed hard. “Yes. Serious consideration.” Josie cheered. Gunther glanced up at Cora. “Why do I feel like the two of you are in cahoots?”
“Oh, whatever. Go eat.”
“I can feel your eye roll through the phone. I want you to call me with every development. Everything, Josie. I need to know all of you are okay.”
“I promise. I have an appointment next week for a check-up.”
“I’ll expect a call. Then once…” He paused to take a breath. “Once Quinn is here, I want loads of pictures.”
“Of course.”
“Good. And that fiancé of yours better be good to you,” he warned with an edge to his voice.
“You know Jake would never be anything less.”
“I know. I’m just messing with you. I’ll chat with you soon. Love you, lass.”
“Love you, too…Dad. ’Bye.” That brought a smile to Gunther’s lips.
After he hung up, he tossed the phone on the nightstand.
“Quinn?” Cora asked.
“Yeah. No matter the sex, they want to name the baby Quinn.”
She moved her hands from her heart to cover her face. The emotions grew heavier in the room. Gunther stood and walked up to her.
“Can I hug you? Because it looks like both of us need one right now.” Nodding, she sniffled. He drew her in, arms wrapping around her body. He lifted her chin so he could see her eyes. “It’s going to be okay, Cora. I promise.”
She nodded and tucked her head into his chest.
Chapter 41
A week into my suspension, I was ready to snap. I called and texted Gunther several times a day to see how things were going. To be an asshole, I would ask him how the books were looking. I knew he was clueless on how to run the financial end of the business.
Elaina and I were pretty much just existing. It was quite sad. I even asked her if she wanted to go out on a date, but she said no. I thought we were on better terms after our little chat, but we just seemed further apart. There was so much shit between us. I didn’t think we would ever get back what we had. I was even forced to rely on my mum for my blood.
I spent my days lounging around the house, peeking out the windows, my skin crawling. My gut said someone was watching me. Otherwise, why would I feel like that all the bloody time? I always made sure to keep the blinds and curtains closed, but my mum would walk behind me and reopen them.
The frustration, paranoia, and anger bled out of my every breath, thought, and heartbeat. It was my duty as a son, husband, and father to protect my family from whatever lurked beyond the walls of the house.
It was time to carry again.
I stood in front of the gun safe, staring at all the weapons precisely lined up inside. The corners of the boxes of ammunition were exactly how I preferred—not a dent, not one of them nudged out of place.
It had been a while since I carried a gun. The day Nicky became mobile, Elaina convinced me to buy the safe. She didn’t want anything lying around that he could hurt himself with. Of course, I agreed, but the paranoia was far too overwhelming now.
I picked out a Sig and loaded it, and just as I turned to tuck it away, Elaina called for me.
“Henry?”
I whispered a whole lot of fucks and shits before answering. “Yeah?”
“Where are you? I need you to help me outside.” She opened the door and glanced down at the gun in my hand. “What are you doing?”
I had nothing. What would I tell her? I’m paranoid? She already knew that. I’m delusional? Yeah, knew that, too. Confrontational? Story of my life.
Crossing her arms, she shifted her weight and raised her brow. She always looked so beautiful in her angry stance. What I wouldn’t give to have those lips-
“I asked you a question. Are you going to answer or stand there staring at me?”
I gazed down at the gun and licked my dry lips. “I, ahh… Well…” I jammed my hand through my hair.
“I’m waiting.” She might as well have started tapping her foot.
I stood straight and tucked the gun into the back of my jeans. “I’m getting my Sig.”
“Why?”
“Because.”
“Henry, I don’t like this. I don’t want a gun around with Nicky and the other kids coming in and out all the time!”
“I won’t leave it just lying around.”
“Put it back. You don’t need it.”
“No.”
She stalked to me and held out her hand. “Give it to me.”
I scoffed. “I’m not two, Elaina.”
“Give it to me right now!”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want you to go out and kill someone or yourself!”
“I don’t plan to do either! Back off!”
That made her step further into me. “Henry, I want the goddamn gun!”
“And I want you off my dick!”
Her brow arched. “Is that so? Because I actually have to be on it to get off it.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” I muttered.
“Hmm…” She shifted her weight again. “Why do you need to carry?”
“I need to, Elaina. Please, don’t be a bitch about this. I need to protect myself and my family.”
“From what?”
I looked at the floor. “So many things…”
“There’s nothing out there. Roger, Kellan, and Drew… All dead. You and Gunther killed them. There are no more undeads.” She placed her hand on my arm, her warmth and love radiating through my skin. “I’ve been doing a lot of reading about PTSD. I’m pretty sure you suffer from it.”
“I suffer from a lot of things, Elaina. It’s all cherries on a sundae. Just leave me be about this.”
“I wish you would go see Dr. Winley.”
“I’m not going back to her.”
“Then pick somebody else.”
“I know I need help. I know this.”
“Then get it!”
I shook my head. “Stop pressing me about it. When I’m ready, I will.”
“Just like your drinking…”
“Yeah. Exactly.”
“What’s it going to take to convince you to get help this time?” Her gaze lowered and the tears welled. “I’m afraid you will die before you do.”
Oh god… There it was again. Her pain slapping me in the face. I reached for her, but she stepped away. “Elaina, I’m-”
“You’re not doing anything to help yourself, so don’t you dare say otherwise!” Her hand swiped at her cheeks and she spun around, heading back out into the hall. She threw her hand in the air and stopped. Glancing over her shoulder, she said, “I better not see a knife or gun anywhere Nicky can reach. I swear to whatever god there is, I will beat the fuck out of you if my son gets hurt because of your stupidity. At this point in my life, he’s all I have.”
“You have me!”
“I’ve already lost Henry. I don’t know who you are.” She walked out and slammed the door.
Her words hurt so badly, I grasped my chest. I stumbled to the bed and hung out there for about an hour before I could carry on with the rest of my day.
-East End of London-
Chapped lips narrowed, Erik sat in his usual proper posture at the head of the table in the conference room behind a tidy stack of file folders and paperwork. His spindly legs were crossed, bony hands folded politely in his lap.
Before Xander had left for the States, he had broken into the databases for current registered medical staff in the surrounding London area. Erik spent weeks pouring over records, wanting only the best. It would be a difficult sell, but with carefully chosen words and a friendly disposition, he had hope it would work out.
Seated to Erik’s left was Michelle Fogerty, a nurse who was a part of the clinical specialist team at the Hospital of Tropical Diseases in London. Along with being a law-abiding citizen, she was a pillar at HTD. Erik knew it would take a lot of convincing to get her to come aboard.
To Michelle’s left was another nurse, Joseph Smith. He worked in Africa for years, helping doctors tend to victims of infectious disease outbreaks. Upon his recent return to the UK, he had yet to land a position and lived with family. Without a doubt in Erik’s mind, he would be an easy sell.
To Erik’s right sat Dr. Scott Barter. He was a renowned surgeon who aided many across the UK, was quiet, and always examined things from outside the box. Erik wanted him for that reason. Dr. Barter’s expertise and unconventional ideas in the medical field were exactly what Luke needed.
Next to Dr. Barter was Tess, who looked rather bored, but Erik knew better. She was examining the situation and trying to get a read on everyone at the table.
After a slight clearing of his throat, Erik began. “My name is Erik Carlson and I am a scientist, focusing solely on special diseases. I have invited you all here because each of you has displayed extraordinary skill and compassion in your chosen fields. It leads me to believe you would maintain a professional, yet benevolent attitude through the duration of these positions in my facility. Also…let’s be frank…your family lives are close to nonexistent.”
Glances were exchanged across the table.
“I have a patient in need of a cure from a very tricky virus. Some information I cannot disclose to everyone seated at this table. This is a highly sensitive matter on a government level and must stay quiet. You will have to live on the premises the entire time you are working here. Your pay will be top-notch, a twenty percent increase of your current or last position. We will attend to any of your current positions, living arrangements, and financial agreements. Any questions?”
Michelle raised her hand slightly. “I already work at HTD.”
“This I know,” Erik replied with a smile and tilt of his head. “We can make the connections and have you put on a leave of absence for a personal matter.”
“I fought hard to get that job.”
“I assure you, once your mission here is completed, you will still have your job.”
“How?” she asked curiously.
“I know a lot of people in high places, Ms. Fogerty. Many of them owe me a considerable number of favors.”
There was a long pause as Michelle and Erik stared at each other. She was trying to decipher whether he was sincere or if he was just blowing smoke up her ass. Minutes ticked by with no one saying a word.
Finally, Michelle broke the silence. “I take it I may be one of those people at this table who will not be privy to all the details, but I feel I need to ask a few more things before I make any agreements.”
“Absolutely,” Erik murmured, pushing his glasses up on his nose.
“How likely are we to contract this disease?”
“There are very few ways of becoming infected, but all precautions will be made to avoid such an occasion.”
“That doesn’t really clear it up,” Joseph said.
A low laugh came from Eric. “You are correct. Like I said, this is a very sensitive situation and we need to keep it under wraps for the safety of all those involved.”
“So…,” Michelle said. “What you’re saying is if any information gets out, the patient, as well as us, could be in harm’s way?”
“Precisely. His physical safety, and ours, is priority. If you are interested in joining my team, I have non-disclosure agreements ready.”
“I will need to speak with my boyfriend first.”
“I apologize, but it’s now or never. I cannot risk anything. You will be allowed to phone him with a scenario that is made to coincide with your leave of absence.”
<
br /> “Wow… This is some serious shit,” Joseph muttered, then slapped his palm on the table, startling everyone but Erik. “Luckily for you, mate, I’m available.” He winked and grinned at Michelle.
With a roll of her eyes, she turned her chair to face Erik. “The patient… Is he already here?”
“Not yet. It may take a little while to get him here because of certain parameters that need to be set up.”
“I’m just having a hard time believing this is legit.” Michelle sat back in the posh chair and crossed her arms at her chest. “You can understand that, can’t you?”
“Of course. I absolutely understand your concerns.”
“Well, I’m in. I’ll sign what you need,” Joseph said. “Better than living in a cramped flat with Mummy and Daddy.”
Erik smirked, then licked his finger to pick up a single sheet of paper, sliding a non-disclosure agreement to him. “Dr. Barter, if you agree to the terms, I will fill you in on all the details. I will need your expertise in dealing with this matter.”
“I agree,” he said in a quiet, but confident tone.
Everyone turned and looked at Michelle. She rubbed the sleeves of her wool sweater, feeling self-conscious with all the questioning stares. “Okay, fine! Geez.”
The corner of Erik’s mouth lifted in a partial smile. What he wouldn’t be telling Michelle was he also picked her for her beauty. He felt he could keep Luke there with a stunning female nurse with whom to spend some time. “Perfect.”
Once everyone signed and handed the agreements back, Erik passed a folder to each person.
“This is Luke Richards. He’s currently residing in the US…specifically New York. He is the one infected with the virus.” The group rifled through several photographs Xander took on the streets and in establishments around New York. “I will warn you now that he’s extraordinarily skilled in the art of personal defense and weaponry, from master manipulation to hand-to-hand combat to expert marksman. He will be stubborn but resilient. There are others with this virus, but he has been chosen to receive treatment first because of his background.”
“What kind of treatment are we talking about?” Michelle asked.
“We’ve made an antiserum, which will be given in several doses. If he makes it through all the treatments, the one final procedure at the end will be extremely dangerous and the ethics of it are highly questionable.”
Blind Faith (Shattered Lives, Book Four) Page 37
