Dewey Belong Together

by Smartypants Romance

  “I’m fine.” Jonathan’s voice floated into the room, and I looked up to see him standing there with Norman, looking a bit wan, but otherwise okay. He was fully dressed in a long-sleeved T-shirt and jeans, his hair combed and falling around his shoulders like a shiny curtain.

  I leapt up and asked, “Can I …?”

  He nodded, and I ran over to him, wrapping him in my arms. He brought his arms up around me and held on tight as we both quivered with pent-up emotion. I laid my head on his shoulder and stroked his hair, and said, “I’m sorry I was freaking out earlier. I was scared, because I would slay a dragon for you but I don’t know how to stand by when you’re the one who has to do it.”

  “I know. I’m sorry you were upset.”

  “Don’t you dare apologize,” I said, leaning up and kissing his cheek, his beard comforting as I nuzzled the side of his face. “There is something you can do, though. You can talk to Tom and your doctor, if you’re ready.”

  He let out a full-body sigh and seemed to deflate a bit. He loosened his arms, and I took that as a sign to give him some physical space.

  “You’re not wrong. It’s time for a new medication and for me to go back to therapy. I haven’t been right for a while now, and I don’t know how you all put up with me.”

  “No one is putting up with you, Jonathan,” Olivia said. “We all love you.”

  “All of you? Still?” Jonathan asked. His eyes honed in on me.

  “Yes, all of us,” I replied softly. He reached out and we clasped hands. I noticed his hand was shaking slightly, and I wondered if that was an aftereffect of the episode, or if he was still running on high tension and anxiety.

  While Mrs. Owen rested, the rest of us sat with Jonathan until he could contact Tom and his doctor at a more decent hour. We decided to have a Mario Kart tournament in the living room, and I was shocked at how good Olivia was. She consistently kicked our collective asses, and I wondered if there wasn’t a gamer hidden in there somewhere. At six, she and I made pancakes while the guys played games on the Switch, and then we all sat down to a feast. Jonathan picked at the food, but did manage an entire pancake, so I was happy. He then excused himself to take his morning pills, and I asked if there was anything I could do to help. When he admitted that his room was in a sorry state, I jumped at the chance to do something, anything, so I grabbed the heaped-up laundry basket and hit up the utility closet with the washing machine. I then returned and cleaned up his room, collecting energy drink cans, stray tissues, and a few dirty dishes.

  At nine, after the longest four hours of my life, Jonathan was able to get in touch with Tom, who scheduled an emergency appointment for the following day. He also liaised with his psychiatrist, who scheduled Jonathan an over the phone appointment right away. All that was left was to go to the pharmacy to pick up a new prescription and wait to see what kind of impact it would have on him.

  Olivia decided to stay home from the grocery in case the night’s events triggered their mother to act erratically during the day, but Norman opted to jump right back into work after making the pharmacy run. When Jonathan headed for his shoes, Norman held up his hand and ordered Jonathan to get back to bed. I mouthed a thank you and followed Jonathan down the hallway to his aired-out room, which was now neat as a pin.

  “I know we need to talk,” said Jonathan, pulling off his jeans and grabbing some sleep shorts from his dresser, “but I’m just so tired. Lie down with me?”

  “Of course,” I said, sliding onto the far side of the bed and getting comfortable. He stood there for a long moment looking at me, and I felt my cheeks turn red. This would be our first time sharing a bed since Green Valley. Though I knew sex had to be the furthest thing from his mind right now, it felt good to be in his space and to breathe in his delicious scent. I rolled onto my side, and when he climbed into the bed after me, I cuddled up to him, resting my head on his chest, tangling our legs together, and twining my fingers in his hair.

  “Is this okay?” I murmured, wanting to make sure he didn’t see my glomping onto him as an intrusion.

  “It’s better than okay. If I drift off, wake me when Norman gets back from the pharmacy?”

  “And if I fall asleep too?” I teased.

  “I think he’d find no problem with dousing us both with a cup of cold water to wake us.”

  “Yikes, you’re right. I’ll stay awake,” I said, laughing a little.

  Jonathan cupped the back of my head with his palm and brought his lips down on mine, softly and sweetly. I gasped a little as he deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue over my mouth, seeking entrance. I opened to him, and we lay like that, holding on to each other with an almost desperate edge, our mouths fused. A polite cough burst our little bubble, and as we broke apart, I looked up to see Norman standing in the doorway, a white paper bag in his hands. Jonathan stiffened slightly, but nodded, resigned to trying the new medication which, in my opinion, was a huge part of the battle.

  “Don’t get up, I’ll grab you some water,” Norman said, walking over to the small bathroom and running the faucet. “Then I’m hitting the shop for a few hours, and I’ll go home to crash for a bit if I need to. Max, call me anytime if you want a lift over to my place.”

  “Maybe,” Jonathan began, sitting up a bit, “we can both come over to your place later. Play a little arena, and I could stay over.”

  “If you feel up for that, I’ll even buy the takeout.” Norman grinned, handing off the cup of water and bottle of pills. Jonathan plucked one from the container and downed it. Satisfied, Norman headed out, his voice echoing behind him, “Call if you need anything!”

  “Well, now it’s just a few weeks until we know how this is going to work,” Jonathan mused, putting the bottle and cup on the bedside table.

  “Weeks? Is that typical?” I asked, worrying at my bottom lip, which was still a bit swollen from Jonathan’s kisses. I had told Thuy I’d be back in no more than a month.

  Jonathan settled back into the bed and held me as I lay half across him. “Don’t worry, it takes that long to build up to a proper dose, and to come off the medication that this will replace. I know you can’t stay for all of that, Max. It’s been amazing having you here, but your life is in Green Valley, and no way are you throwing away your job for me.”

  “I think that’s part of a bigger discussion we need to have when we’re both not exhausted,” I said, yawning wide. That set off Jonathan yawning, and within minutes, I felt the rise and fall of his chest steady, his breathing going deep and even, and his heartbeat no longer racing under my ear. I closed my eyes and planted a light kiss on his chin, then drifted off.

  We woke up at around four in the afternoon, and Norman’s truck was gone from the driveway. Jonathan commented that he would normally jog over to Norman’s, but the new med was making him feel very tired and a little spaced out. So I called up our friend and asked him to come get us. A few minutes later, we were piled into the truck, in search of a good burger joint not too far away.

  Burgers and sides procured, we returned to Norman’s and tucked in, falling on the food like hungry wolves. Even Jonathan was hungry, which was an improvement from this morning. He claimed the mac ’n’ cheese as his own, and we let him have it because whatever tempted his appetite, he should eat. Nausea was one of the side effects of the new drug he was taking, according to the helpful pamphlet from the pharmacy, and according to Dr. Google, which I consulted on my cell phone while the guys were busy getting the food. The more information I was armed with, the better I felt.

  As we devoured the meal, cracking jokes and ribbing each other over our skills in both gaming and computer-building, I looked at Jonathan’s face. He looked truly relaxed for the first time since last night’s seemingly out-of-the-blue disaster.

  We shooed Jonathan away from the dishes, setting him with the task of finding us a movie to watch while Norman and I cleaned up. I realized how nice this was, having both of them in my life. If anyone had told me around a month ago that
I would be roaring friends with Deathdrop and romantically involved with freakin’ Wrath, I would have given them a verbal beating down for their rudeness. Now that I knew them, had seen them under pressure and vulnerable, I knew they were good men, and I was lucky to have them in my life, in whatever capacity.

  I popped a bag of popcorn in the microwave and settled in on the couch next to Jonathan, tucking my feet under me so I could snuggle into his side. Norman sat in the recliner, and as Jonathan flicked through the movie options, Norman almost jumped out of his seat. “Dude, stop! You passed the League of Magecraft movie!”

  “No!” Jonathan and I both said in stereo, then laughed like a pair of hyenas.

  “Trust us, we’re saving you from an evil that should never have been born into existence,” I said, wiping a tear from laughing so hard. “Hey, Norman, have you seen Detective Pikachu?”

  After mutually deciding on a Good Omens binge, I noticed Jonathan was starting to sag beside me. We made it two episodes before I decided to call it and drag him to bed. I was tired too, the emotional toll of the entire day wearing me down. I didn’t realize how bone weary a person could get dealing with such strong emotions. After my attack, the emotion I felt the most was fury, and then anxiety, which I’d allowed to rule me through avoidance. But watching someone you love suffer was on a whole other level. I would take back all my fury, all my anxiety, and hold on to it forever if it would somehow free Jonathan of the things that tormented him.

  We moved around the bedroom and small attached bathroom at Norman’s like we’d been sharing the space for years. Jonathan pulled me into his arms and folded me into an embrace. “How much longer do we have?” he said softly, running a hand through my hair.

  “I told my boss I wouldn’t be any more than a month.”

  Jonathan swallowed hard and I saw his Adam’s apple bob. He nodded and said, “We will try to salvage this train wreck and enjoy each other, okay? I’m so freakin’ sorry my head is such a mess, Max.”

  “No, you do not apologize for this, Jonathan. You hear me? This isn’t anyone’s fault, let alone yours. You wouldn’t choose to go through this, and the rest of us who love you are more than willing to be a support network for you. You aren’t a burden on anyone, you got that?” I poked him in the chest to punctuate my words. “I am in love with you, Jonathan Owen, and that means I love all of you, including all the facets of that amazing brain of yours.”

  “Okay. But for real, who put Norman in charge of this operation anyway?” he asked wryly, breaking the tension.

  I laughed. “We did, when he made his case for arena captain. I guess that made him the alpha of our little pack.”

  “Or so he thinks …” He waggled his eyebrows up and down. “He has been doing a good job of holding the fort and keeping me from tanking the business while riding The Bipolar Express.”

  “Mm-hmm,” I murmured, listening to his heartbeat and feeling on the verge of sleep.

  “Max?”

  “Yes?” I replied with a yawn.

  “Are you too sleepy for me to play with you a little? I’m tired, but I want to taste you. It’s been so long, and you’re addictive. I want a fix.”

  “You’re serious?” I asked, feeling suddenly more awake. I looked up into his hooded eyes and felt his hardness pressing into my thigh.

  “Absolutely,” he replied, kissing me on my forehead, then my cheek, before claiming my lips and working the drawstring of my sleep shorts at the same time. I smiled into the kiss and wrapped my arms around him, willing the rest of the world and all of our problems away for the time being.

  We fell into a rhythm, the three of us. Weekdays we spent at the shop, bringing the business up to schedule on their orders. More often than not, we’d stay for dinner and I would help Mrs. Owen or Olivia cook a meal while the guys worked. I didn’t mind being relegated to the kitchen because I was using the time to get to know the other women in Jonathan’s life, and I wanted so bad for us all to be close. Weekends the guys and I spent as a team in Magecraft, honing our arena skills and dominating the rankings as we learned how to anticipate each other’s moves and work in sync. I hadn’t asked about reclaiming the officer position, and Jonathan gave it up willingly to another guildie so he had, in his words, more time to focus on keeping himself on an even keel.

  He was sleeping through the nights courtesy of his new medication and was starting to feel less lethargic during the day. His mood had elevated significantly after his appointment with Tom, and I wished I’d had the chance to meet the man who had been so influential in Jonathan’s life, especially when he was a teenager and confused over his feelings for me. I would be forever grateful that he had found someone who didn’t judge him for his sexuality or pigeonhole him with a label, but rather allowed him to figure things out on his own. I had been briefed on his sister Elaine’s stance on Jonathan’s pansexuality, and as far as I was concerned, whatever his sexuality was, it was just part of the man I was crazy about.

  Time flew, and I was all too soon booking my return trip for the following weekend. I shot an email to Thuy, confirming I would be back at the library on that Monday. The days since Jonathan’s medication change would have been an interesting crash course on bipolar disorder, if I didn’t love the person living with it. I was so proud of Jonathan, but it was agonizing to watch him try to navigate the exhaustion and episodes of brain fog brought on by the new drug. I kept holding on to something Mrs. Owen told me the day after our first sleepover at Norman’s: that Jonathan will eventually get better and come out the other side of this, but it would take time and patience.

  Time was something we no longer had together.

  Chapter 28

  Jonathan

  “Nothing really dies. You can always hit up a resurrection point and try again.”

  ― Wrath

  For the ride to the airport, we all wedged into Norman’s truck, Max sitting in the middle and fully in control of our karaoke party on the way to Jacksonville. After two bouts of particularly athletic sex last night, we were both in a good mood, despite it being the day of our parting. We had no immediate plans to see each other again, but we both knew that we would. When we touched, it felt like destiny, and I was confident now that this would not be our final goodbye.

  That didn’t, however, stop me from becoming emotional as we faced each other, her bag checked and her ready to walk through security. She was my heart itself, and she was leaving me. No, I corrected myself, she was leaving Florida, but her attachment to me remained intact. I did some deep breathing exercises and held it together long enough to give her an epic embrace and a scorching kiss right there in the terminal while Norman whistled.

  “I suppose you deserve a goodbye too, Deathdrop,” she said, turning to him with a salute.

  “Indeed, Maximus,” he replied, bowing low.

  She stepped forward and folded him into a hug, saying in a low voice that I couldn’t help but overhear, “Watch his six, team leader. And by the way, did you know that a deathdrop is a dance move? It’s quite popular with drag queens.”

  He grinned and winked down at her. “I did know that, actually.”

  “You’re a man of many layers. Like an ogre.” She squeezed him one last time and then turned back to me.

  “I’m fresh out of poems fit for saying goodbye, Sir Wrath, Knight of the Beautiful Swamp Realm. But I will hold you in my heart every day and I know that you’re going to keep fighting for yourself long after I’ve gone. And that you will call me, night or day, if you need someone to talk to. I will always take your call, no matter what. That goes for you too, Norman.”

  “That’s great because you never know when we might need to organize a new mission. May I humbly suggest we consider a guildie trip to DragonCon?” Norman asked, waggling his eyebrows.

  “That’s an awesomesocks idea,” she replied, looking a bit unnerved, probably because she was now so close to two people she used to loathe. Or thought she had loathed.

  “I hat
e to break up the lovefest between you two,” I said, dryly, “but Max is going to miss her flight if she doesn’t get moving. And I want one more snuggle before she does.” I extended an arm, and Max smiled wide as she tucked into my side, me bringing my other arm up to encircle her. I rested my head on top of hers and breathed a sigh of contentment. If I could have this every day, I would be the luckiest jerk in the world. She pulled me down for a kiss, and I met her mouth greedily, inhaling the last bit of her smell and holding it, as well as her taste, in my memory banks.

  I released her and watched as she tried to be discreet about wiping away stray tears but failing miserably. “Hey, this isn’t the end of us. No tears, not today, okay?”

  She nodded, gave my hand a last squeeze, and said, “If I don’t go now, I really will miss my flight. I love you guys. In different ways, of course, but still …” She shook her head and ran to the security entrance, boarding pass clutched in one hand.

  “Norman, I need to get the hell out of here before I start to panic,” I said, my façade of calm and happiness melting as I watched the love of my life walk away. I reached into my pocket and took out two of the small white pills, letting them melt under my tongue. They would relax me within minutes, and by the time we made it back to the truck, I would be groggy enough to nap for the ride home.

  “No problem,” he replied. “Just walk right next to me, and I’ll get us through as quickly as possible.”

  I picked at my food that night, opting to go with Norman back to his place at my mom’s urging. She said that sleeping in the same bed that held Maxine’s scent would make me feel better, and that she couldn’t handle seeing my long face from across the dinner table anyway.

  “I’m sorry,” I said to Norman, who had thrown some steaks on the grill while I made the salad. “I don’t have an appetite tonight, I guess.”