House of Belonging
Page 18
Logan whispered to her in a ragged voice, “Tell me when you’re coming. I want to hear you say it. Tell me, Laina.”
Laina’s own breath was choppy, her body having been teetering on that precipice between pleasure and frustration. Until Logan’s words tipped the scales.
“Now, Logan. Now.”
He moaned, his eyes fixed on her, watching the pleasure travel across her features like a wave. Logan pulled out of her before it was too late, shuddering as he spent. He collapsed, careful not to crush her, and rolled to the side, pulling her close to him. The air was thick with passion, and as Logan had predicted, they were both covered in a sheen of sweat. Laina trailed a finger through his chest hair while they floated back down to earth together.
“Wow. Just . . . wow.” She was dumbstruck. Laina had never had a lover as thoughtful as Logan. She felt cherished. Cared for. She wasn’t sure how to gather up all the complicated feelings she was having into one neat pile so she could name this thing that was growing between them.
Logan kissed the top of her head, his fingers softly stroking her hair. “To quote the great Buffalo Springfield, ‘something’s happening here.’” His voice had that faraway, dreamy quality to it, and Laina knew he must be exhausted, having been awake for the better part of twenty-four hours.
She leaned over to look at him, but his eyes were already closed. Laina kissed him gently on the lips before snuggling back down into his arms.
“Sleep. You’ve earned it.”
Laina closed her eyes too, the feel of Logan’s smile against her hair.
She woke up to the sound of coffee percolating. Sitting up, she wrapped the sheet around her breasts and blinked rapidly to try to clear the film from her eyes. It was early. Laina could tell because one glance out the bedroom window told her that the sea fog that was typical of humid summer mornings along the coast still shrouded the backyard. She looked over at the empty place beside her in bed and smiled. They’d woken up in the middle of the night and made love again, unable to resist each other, and this morning Laina was sore in all the best places. She was about to get up to go look for Logan when he appeared in the doorway, two cups of steaming hot coffee in his hands.
“It’s not your fancy stuff, but I tasted it and it’s not too bad. I had to sneak into your parents’ house to get creamer from the fridge. I was glad the key you used to get in here worked, but I was praying the alarm wouldn’t go off. Especially since
I’m not dressed for a visit from the authorities.”
In fact, he was wearing a towel around his hips and nothing else, but Laina thought he looked perfect. She patted the spot next to her in bed. “Get back in here this minute, and bring me that wonderful beverage.” She reached her hands out, wiggling her fingers in anticipation of the warm mug. Logan handed it to her, plopping himself back down on the bed, but only after he’d dropped his towel to the floor, giving her a peek at his beautiful behind. “Yummy.”
Logan looked at her, puzzled.
Laina giggled. “Did I say that out loud?”
Logan leaned over for a kiss. “Good morning. How’d you sleep?”
Laina arranged the pillows in a stack behind her, snuggling back with a sigh. “Great. You?”
Logan took a sip of his coffee. “Best night of my life. But actual sleep? I don’t remember that part.”
They snuggled together, enjoying their coffee for a little while longer. Finally, Laina knew she’d better get moving so she could prepare herself for what the day had in store. She finished her coffee and leaned over to kiss Logan before heading to the bathroom to get ready.
She turned on the water and waited for it to warm up. Laina was dreading seeing Jeremy and wished she could change her mind now. She was struggling over her decision not to tell Logan, but she couldn’t bring herself to ruin the perfect trip they’d been having together. She could tell him later, if she needed to, but she hoped that wouldn’t be necessary. If she had her way, it would be the last time she’d ever have to see Jeremy. It was time for them both to get closure.
Laina was stepping into the shower when she felt Logan behind her, his hands on her waist.
“I thought I’d see if you had room for a plus one? I promise to behave myself. I’m as worn out as you are, believe me.
I’m just in the market for a hot shower.”
Laina turned to look at him. “Of course, I can help you with that. Let’s make sure you’re good and clean before you go surfing.”
She took his hand and led him into the cloud of steam, closing the door behind them. The air was dense with moisture, encircling them in a dreamy cloud of warmth. Laina picked up the bar of soap, rubbing it into a lather in her hands. She soaped up his chest and arms, turning him around to do his back as well. Logan started to turn back around when he felt her hands on him again, this time much lower. He sucked in his breath, palming the walls of the shower as Laina moved around to the front of him, lowering herself down far enough to lavish the most recently overexerted part of him with attention.
Their shower ended only when the water finally ran cold.
It was ten forty-five by the time they’d managed to get dressed and straighten up the guest house a little. Laina’s dad was already in the pool, swimming laps when they stepped outside. He noticed them on a flip turn, pausing in the shallow end to say good morning.
“Hi, kids. I was finished but figured I’d do a few bonus laps since you weren’t out here yet.” He looked at Logan. “What do you say, boss, are you ready to shred? I heard the swell is decent this morning.”
Logan slapped his hands, rubbing them together in anticipation. “Let’s do it.” He turned around to give Laina a kiss goodbye, then stopped himself, remembering where he was. “I’ll see you when I get back.”
He stood awkwardly, not sure what to do when Laina stepped forward and kissed him.
“Have fun. And be careful out there.” She gestured toward her father. “This guy thinks he’s invincible. Don’t follow his lead too closely.”
Bo had gotten out of the pool and had finished drying off, so he and Logan said goodbye and headed toward the beach.
Laina exhaled, looking at her watch. She’d cut that too close. Jeremy would be arriving any minute.
Laina stepped inside the main house and saw a note on the counter from her mother.
Running a few errands to give you some privacy.
I won’t be back for a while, and your father will be out with Logan.
Be strong, Carina. Allow yourself this closure.
Xoxo, Mom
Laina sat down at the kitchen table and waited. She had no idea how their conversation would go, but she knew she would be glad to have it all behind her after today. At quarter after eleven, she checked her phone to see if she’d missed a text saying he’d be late, and by eleven thirty, she was frustrated and angry with herself for inviting him in the first place. Laina felt anxiety start to creep in, hoping that Jeremy wouldn’t want to linger and risk running into Logan. Finally, at a quarter to twelve, the phone rang, and she looked out the front window to see someone on a motorcycle at the gate.
Of course. She buzzed him through, rushing to the front door and out into the driveway to meet him.
Jeremy parked the bike in front of her, killed the engine, and climbed off. He was wearing jeans and a black T-shirt, same as always. He lifted his helmet off, running his fingers through his hair, which he was wearing longer on the top and closely cropped on the sides. His arms rippled with the tattoos he was known for, and his beard was fuller than Laina remembered. Jeremy was taller and more muscular than his brother had been, mostly a side effect of Patrick’s hard living and a by-product of Jeremy’s love of himself.
“Laina.”
“Jeremy. You wanted to talk?”
Jeremy smiled at her, but it came off more like a sneer. His eyes were cold. Accusing. “Spare me the niceties. I see you aren’t even going to invite me in.”
Laina scoffed. “I would have
, but I was expecting you almost an hour ago. I have plans this afternoon, so we’re going to have to make this quick. I don’t know what there is left to say, really.” She paused, her soft heart getting the best of her. “I’m sorry about Patrick, Jeremy. I was sick when I got your letter. He deserved a better ending to his story.”
Jeremy studied her closely. “Really? Because I thought you didn’t give two shits about my brother. I mean, you left that day and never looked back. That was a coldhearted move, Laina. Leaving me there to clean up your mess.”
She was disgusted with herself for having forgotten what Jeremy was like. “My mess? You know what? The most compassionate thing I could have done for Patrick at that point was to disappear from his life. I knew we were over, and don’t be flattered; it was certainly not because of you. Patrick had demons that I tried to help him overcome, but the cheating was the final straw. By leaving, I was trying to get out of the way and give the two of you a chance. If I’d stayed, you would have done your best to annihilate your own relationship with your brother over some feelings you’d manufactured and convinced yourself that you’d had for me. You didn’t want me, Jeremy. You just didn’t want your brother to have me either. But I see you’ve rewritten a more convenient truth for yourself to live with.”
Jeremy stepped toward her menacingly, his expression wounded. “That’s just it, Laina. I did have feelings for you, and they had nothing to do with Patrick. I fought them for a long time before that night. When I came in, and you were crying, I couldn’t help it. I was trying to comfort you. I didn’t mean for Patrick to walk in and get the idea that he did. But I wasn’t going to correct him either, especially after you left.” Jeremy caught himself losing grip on his anger, so he unclenched his fists and took a step back from Laina, lighting a cigarette to buy some time. He took a long drag and looked back at her. “We eventually did mend our relationship the best we could, but he was never the same after that night. That’s what I meant in my letter. The coroner may have called his death an overdose, but you and I both know my brother died from a broken heart.” The smoke curled around his head as he lifted the cigarette back to his lips for another pull.
Laina was sobbing by the time Jeremy had finished. She knew he was right. She should have sought closure with Patrick while she’d had the chance. She wrapped her arms around herself in an effort to quit crying, but it didn’t work. His words had hit the bull’s-eye.
Jeremy watched her reaction, swearing under his breath. He flicked the cigarette to the ground. “Goddamnit, Laina. Even now, I’m still in love with you.” He stepped toward her, pulling her close. “Maybe it was my fault too. But he’s gone, and there’s nothing either one of us can do about it now. I love you, Laina. Can’t you just love me too?” His fingers dug into her arms as he spoke.
Laina winced, at the words and the bruises he was surely leaving behind. She snapped to her senses, unfolded her arms, and pushed him away, wiping her tears as she stepped out of his reach. “No, Jeremy. I don’t love you, and I never will. I’ve finally given my heart to someone else. Someone who would never use his words or his family to hurt me. You need to leave and never come back. I’m not in love with you. Do you hear that? I’m in love with someone else.”
She saw that Jeremy’s gaze had traveled over her shoulder toward the house. Wondering what had caught his attention, Laina turned and saw Logan, standing in the open doorway listening to them, her mother’s letter clutched in his hand, his eyes questioning.
“What the hell is this?”
CHAPTER
TWENTY
The surf had been powerful that morning, as Bo had predicted. They’d had a blast catching one big wave after another until Logan rode one all the way in and stepped off his board squarely onto one of the big rocks hidden by the high tide, slicing his foot open. He could feel that the cut was deep, so he carried his board out of the water to sit on the beach momentarily in an attempt to stop the bleeding. When it didn’t stop, Logan knew that the wound must be impressive, so he wrapped his foot in his shirt in order to limp back to the house. Bo had drifted a few hundred yards over and was surfing in a different area, unaware that Logan had been injured. Logan told a surfer headed out to the point to let Bo know that he had gone back to the house for some first aid.
Logan had to wait for someone to leave through the locked gate, since Bo was still wearing the beach key under his wet suit. When someone finally left, Logan slipped out behind them and hobbled up the path, leaving his board in the surf shack. By the time he’d made it to the backyard, he could see that his foot was swelling a bit. He wasn’t sure whether the guest house had an ice maker, so he turned toward the main house instead. Logan figured that Laina and her mom would still be out on their errand, but he knocked on the sliding door to announce his arrival, just in case. When no one answered, he let himself into the kitchen, and using some paper towels, he finally managed to stanch the bleeding. He was looking for a ziplock bag for ice in a kitchen drawer when he spotted the note on the counter and read it, puzzled by the words. Carina? It must be for Laina from her mom. But what did it mean?
Logan was rereading the note when he heard a man’s insistent voice coming from the front of the house. He limped into the foyer as fast as he could and opened the door. Laina was facing away from him, and had just pushed back from a stranger whom Logan instantly hated.
“No, Jeremy. I don’t love you, and I never will. I’ve finally given my heart to someone else. Someone who would never use his words or his family to hurt me. You need to leave and never come back. I’m not in love with you. Do you hear that? I’m in love with someone else.”
Logan froze, his mind unable to make sense of what he was seeing. Jeremy? The Jeremy? What the hell was going on here? Before he had a chance to move, Laina turned around and saw him standing there. He mumbled something he wouldn’t remember later, and attempted to process the scene. Laina’s hand covered her mouth in shock, and she started to cry, turning back around toward Jeremy.
“This is what you do, isn’t it? You ruin people’s lives.” She sobbed into her hands, completely distraught.
That got Logan’s attention. He looked at Jeremy, the pain in his foot forgotten. Stepping forward, he came within inches of the man’s face. Close enough to see the hatred in his eyes. “You should leave. Now.” They stood staring at each other for a long moment before Logan stepped back and took Laina by the shoulders. He folded her into his arms but never once took his eyes off Jeremy. “Don’t make me tell you a second time.” Laina shivered at his tone.
Jeremy was silent but continued looking at Logan. His hands were clenched into fists, and Logan sensed Jeremy was wondering whether to use them, before he ultimately decided it was a bad idea. “You know what? We were finished here anyway. For now, at least. I appreciate the brutal honesty, Laina. But, hey, that’s how you do it, right? Quick and dirty.” He looked at Logan again. “Be warned, asshole. Odds are, this won’t end well for you.” He sneered as he stepped back toward his motorcycle. “But, hey. There’s a sucker born every minute.”
Jeremy pulled on his helmet, threw his leg over his bike, and the engine roared to life. He was up and out of the driveway moments later, his tires screeching on his way down the street, leaving the mess he’d made behind him.
Laina had her head buried in Logan’s chest, and neither of them moved or said a word as he comforted her, his hands rubbing her back.
Finally, Logan broke the silence. “What was Jeremy doing here, Laina? I don’t know what I’m supposed to think. Please tell me there is a reasonable explanation here.”
Laina sniffed, finally ready to face him. She looked up, and the hurt expression on his face almost broke her again.
“The band is performing in San Diego this weekend, and he reached out to my parents to ask them to intervene on his behalf. He’s been texting me, trying to meet, but I wouldn’t answer him, so he preyed upon my parents’ kindness. I wanted to tell you, but we were having such an incre
dible weekend. I’ll admit it: I chickened out. But I have nothing to hide from you, Logan. I should have told you the truth, and knowing that I dragged you into this mess and that you feel hurt by my indiscretion kills me.”
Laina sighed and wiped her eyes with her shirt, certain she looked awful. “I would suspect that after what I told Jeremy, he’s got no reason to see me again. Ever. I know he must have felt completely humiliated. It’s not an emotion he understands well.”
Logan nodded. “About that. I heard what you told him. Two things stood out to me. The first was that you’ve given your heart to someone else. The second was that you’re in love.” Logan bent his head down to look at her squarely in the eyes. “Did you mean those things, Laina, or did you just say them to get rid of Jeremy?”
Laina’s face softened. “I meant them, Logan. I mean them.” She leaned in close to brush her lips against his. Her voice came out in a whisper. “I’m so sorry. I love you. You do have my heart.”
Logan’s face was serious, although the faint look of hurt still lingered in his eyes. “Then promise me no more secrets. You can tell me anything, Laina. I’ll always do my best not to judge or react too quickly. But that only works if we’re completely honest with each other. OK?”
Laina nodded, looking down at her feet and wishing she’d done that in the first place.
Logan lifted her chin with his hand, bringing her eyes back to his. “One more thing. I’m ridiculously in love with you too. And I think you’ve had my heart since before you even knew you might want it.” Their kiss was tender and thorough, saying all the things that words couldn’t. Laina knew in that moment that she’d do anything for him. She would work hard to make the hurt he’d felt that day disappear.