by Helen Lacey
“I’m ready,” she said and came down the steps. “I see my mother already left with Maisy and Ricky?”
He nodded and opened the front passenger door for her while Jaye climbed into the back seat. “It was good of her to take them. I think my daughter has found kindred spirits in Nancy and Ricky, and their joint love of books.”
She smiled and slipped into the seat, then clipped the seat belt as he closed the door. He thought about how much it felt like they were on a date, despite the three kids in the back and the fact they were going to be strictly platonic. Cole moved around the other side, started the engine and glanced at her, riveted by her beauty and the relentless effect she had on him.
“Everything all right?” she asked.
“Fine,” he said and released the parking brake. “Just fine.”
JoJo’s Pizza Parlor was a busy place, with checked tablecloths and bunting in the color of the Italian flag pinned around the walls and empty Chianti bottles suspended from the ceiling. It was a comfortable, clean family-style restaurant with a discreet bar in one corner, a piano in the other and a small area with a few arcade games clearly designed to keep kids entertained. He’d booked a table and they were all seated at a booth in a cozy spot near the back. Ash introduced him to her friend and the owner, Nicola, a pretty young woman with a riot of brunette curls and who gave him a curious and deliberate once-over and then took their drinks order.
“She seems...nice,” he said as Ash settled in the seat opposite. When their knees touched he almost jumped out of his skin.
She met his gaze, smiling, as though she knew exactly the effect she had on him. “She is. Nicola inherited custody of her two young nephews last year when her brother and sister-in-law died. She moved back to Cedar River to take care of them and run this place.”
“Another real-life angel then,” he said quietly. “Like you.”
“Angel?” Her brow rose. “I don’t think I’ve ever been called that before.”
Cole glanced toward Micah and Tahlia, who sat beside him on the bench, happily chatting to Jaye, who was next to his mother. “Oh, I think that’s a fairly accurate depiction. I don’t think you fully comprehend how much you do.”
She looked a little embarrassed and smiled. “They complete my life. Kids have a way of doing that.”
Cole nodded. “I’m starting to realize that’s true.”
She picked up the menu and looked at him over the top of it. “So, you’re getting used to this parenting thing?”
“I think so. Maisy has been more talkative the last couple of days. I mean, she still hasn’t opened up about her mom or talked about anything deep, but I’m hopeful she will over time. We’ve been watching television and I’ve been teaching her how to play poker.”
Her brows shot up. “Poker? Really?”
He laughed. “Only so she can beat Ricky. He cheats.”
She rolled her eyes comically. “I’m so pleased things are improving.”
“Me, too,” he admitted. “For a time there I thought it would never happen.”
Their drinks arrived and once the kids had taken sips of their soda they pleaded to go to the gaming area. Ash nodded her approval and he knew she would keep a watchful eye on them from their position.
“You’re a mom twenty-four seven,” he said and drank some of the imported beer he’d ordered. “Right?”
“Habit,” she replied and laughed a little “Which is why I’ve probably never had time for romance.”
“Never?”
She shrugged. “Nothing serious. Not since Pete. I suppose at some point I’ll have to accept the fact that I’ll probably never get married.”
The idea of her married jolted his insides. He didn’t want to think about it. And he certainly didn’t want to think about why it bothered him so much. “You’re still young. You have time to meet someone and have a big fancy wedding.”
“Like you did?” she asked.
Memory of his ridiculously grand, absurdly expensive wedding to Valerie flashed in front of his eyes for a brief, painful second. “And we both know how that ended.”
She sipped her soda and then met his gaze. “Who left who?”
“In the end it was a mutual parting of the ways,” he replied stiffly.
“Did you love her?”
“I thought so at the time,” he said and sat back in the seat. She was clearly curious and since Cole found talking to her oddly relaxing, he kept going. He rarely talked about his broken marriage, but the words came out before he could stop them. “Valerie was beautiful—runway-model beautiful, if you know what I mean. Perfect in every way. Except the ways that counted most.” He tapped his chest lightly. “In here. She was self-absorbed and self-destructive. She married me for my money and connections and made that very clear when I filed for divorce. She gambled,” he explained, and saw the sympathy in Ash’s expression—for the first time since the divorce he felt as though he was being truly heard. His friends and family always seemed to offer sage advice and counsel about his failed marriage. But Ash McCune merely listened. And that, he realized, was enough. “She drank. And I’m almost certain she was unfaithful. She was like a facsimile of beauty and perfection. Sometimes I wonder if I only saw what I wanted to see in the beginning. Because I thought it was time I settled down and got married.”
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
Cole looked at her. “Thank you. It’s funny, but most people tell me I should be grateful we were only married for two years and didn’t have children. As though that’s some kind of bonus or consolation. It’s not. It just makes the whole thing feel like a greater failure.”
She nodded and her green eyes glittered brilliantly. “I get the same thing said to me about my relationship with Jaye’s father. You know, how I had a lucky escape—that kind of thing. The thing is, I’ve never felt lucky, only sad. For me, for my son...and even for Pete.”
“He was a fool to let you go.”
“Yes, he was.”
Her eyes shimmered brightly and Cole realized she was on the verge of tears. “I’m sorry, Ash. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
She blinked. “You didn’t. I think you’re probably one of the few people I’ve met who actually get me.”
Ditto.
A waitress approached to take their order and once they’d made their selection the mood had shifted, becoming lighter. They talked about the upcoming spring fair and Jaye’s cart and they shared stories about growing up in a city versus small town, and by the time the pizzas arrived the kids were back at the table. Cole figured they looked like an eclectic bunch—with Jaye’s shock of red hair, Ash’s fair complexion compared to his own brown skin and Micah and Tahlia’s Native American heritage, they probably were a postcard for a blended family.
He liked the idea, though. Being around Ash made him think about family more than he usually did. And marriage. And children. And a whole lot of things he’d thought he’d become too cynical for.
Afterward, when the pizza was eaten and the kids each consumed a bowl of ice cream, Ash suggested they walk around town for a while before they headed home. Since it was still early, Cole didn’t mind. Maisy wouldn’t be back until after nine o’clock and he liked the idea of spending more time with Ash and her kids.
It was a warm night and there were several other families out walking. Ash appeared to know everyone who passed by. A couple around their own age approached with a baby in a stroller, and she introduced them as Tyler and Brooke Madden. They lived on a small ranch not too far from Ash’s and he owned a law practice in town. They chatted for a few minutes and once the other couple left they continued their stroll up the street, while Tahlia and Micah raced on ahead, running off the sugar from their sodas and ice cream. Jaye trailed them, slower, but still laughing. Cole watched Ash follow her son’s every move. The
re was no doubt that she cherished her child, and she looked as though she wanted to call him back. When Jaye stumbled a little her pace quickened and Cole suspected she was finding it difficult to not rush forward and help him. But she didn’t.
“You seem to have a lot of friends in this town,” he remarked as they walked side by side.
“I guess I do. Don’t you know a lot of people in Phoenix?”
He shrugged. “I have a few close friends. And yes, I know a lot of people, but they’re more acquaintances than friends. And I haven’t met most of the people in my apartment building, let alone know them by name.”
A couple of teenagers suddenly sped by on skateboards and Cole automatically called for the kids to watch out and then reached for Ash, grabbing her hand and pulling her close. The teens apologized and quickly rushed off and Ash looked up at him once she’d checked that Jaye was unharmed.
“You have quick reflexes,” she said, but didn’t pull her hand away.
“Quick reflexes are a must when driving around a track at two hundred miles per hour,” he replied as they continued walking, hands still together. Cole linked their fingertips and had a vague thought about how long it had been since he’d held a woman’s hand and simply walked down the street.
“Do you miss it?” she asked quietly.
“Yes,” he said and then sighed. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever admitted that to anyone before.”
“Because you don’t want pity?” she queried way too intuitively. “Since you can’t drive competitively anymore?”
He nodded. “Yes. Too many broken bones. Too many surgeries. Too much risk. I had to make a decision—drive or walk.”
“It must be hard to give up something you love doing. I mean, if I was told I’d never be able to serve as a police officer again, I’d be devastated. Of course, I know I’ll have to retire at some point.”
“Maybe you’ll get to keep the handcuffs,” he teased.
She laughed. “Maybe. I’ll let you know.”
His cell rang, interrupting them, and he reluctantly released her hand and pulled the phone from his pocket. He recognized his mother’s number instantly and took the call, speaking to her for less than a minute.
After he ended the call he looked at Ash. “That was my mom. Looks like they want to come and visit.”
Her eyes widened. “Here?”
He nodded. “Yep. They’ll be here next Friday. All of them. I’ll book them into O’Sullivans.”
“They can stay at the ranch if you prefer.”
Cole shook his head and chuckled. “One thing you don’t want is a house full of Quartermaines, believe me.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” she said and laughed softly as they continued walking. “I kind of like the ones I’ve met so far.”
“My family really is the best,” he told her and grinned. “But they can be a little overwhelming all together. They can stay at the hotel, my mom can see that Maisy is just fine and then they will be on their way.”
“I’m looking forward to meeting them.”
Foolishly, he was looking forward to Ash meeting his family. He knew his mother would fall in love with her.
Just like I’m falling in love with her...
Cole shook off the thought and cursed himself for being so stupid.
By the time they were back at the car it was close to eight thirty. Once they were home, he waited by the bottom step until the children climbed the stairs and then said good-night to Ash.
“I had a nice time,” she said, looking lovely in the moonlight. “Thank you.”
“See, we can do platonic.”
“Except for the hand-holding.”
Heat slashed his cheeks. “It was strictly platonic hand-holding,” he assured her. “Promise.”
She laughed and the sound echoed around the yard. “You really are a lousy liar, Cole.”
He raised his palms. “Bad liar. Bad kisser. So many faults.”
She laughed again, so sexily he had to catch his breath as he watched her turn and head up the steps. Before she reached the top step she turned around and said his name. “You know, it’s not that I have a lot of experience for comparison, but if you must know, I think you’re one of those men who are good at everything.”
As he watched her walk through the doorway and then disappear into the house, he was smiling. And when he turned to head back to the cabin, he was laughing. And thinking that he liked Ash McCune a whole lot. He more than liked her. And that meant he was completely and utterly screwed.
* * *
On Monday afternoon Ash got home around two o’clock to discover that Ricky was packing his bags. His older cousin from Tucson had arrived and offered to have the boy go and live with him and his wife. Ash supported his decision, knowing how important family was. But as his foster parent she still had an obligation to ensure his well-being.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” she asked.
He shrugged his lanky shoulders. “I can’t stay here forever.”
“You can stay here for as long as you need.”
Ricky’s eyes filled with tears and he swallowed hard. “I know I can...but I can’t. I’m nearly eighteen and gotta make my own way. We both know my folks are never gonna accept me. But my cousin, he’s cool, and I talked with his wife today and she sounds cool, too.”
So, it was settled. Ash talked at length to his cousin, a well-spoken man in his late twenties who was a firefighter and quickly realized that Ricky would be well cared for. She contacted his case worker and explained the situation. Since he would legally be an adult within a few months, by late that afternoon the teenager had given her a hug and left with his cousin, waving and promising to keep in touch. She hoped he would, but also understood he needed to concentrate on his new life and not dwell on the past.
Saying goodbye was always difficult and saying it to a child she had grown to care about always took a little piece of her heart. Ricky’s departure affected everyone differently. Jaye had developed a strong bond with the other boy and she knew her son would miss his friend. Micah and Tahlia stayed quiet in the living room with Uncle Ted and her mother was wiping away a few tears in the kitchen.
Figuring the best thing to do was carry on as normal, Ash headed for Cole and Maisy’s cabin to invite them to the house for dinner. She tapped on the jamb and the door swung back a few moments later and Cole stood beneath the threshold. His jaw was tight, his shoulders bunched, his mouth pressed into a grim line.
“Everything okay?”
He shook his head. “Not exactly. Maisy wants to leave.”
Ash frowned. “But things have been going so well.”
“Until today.” He opened the door wide and stepped aside to let her pass. “Maybe you can talk with her. She’s in her room...packing.”
Ash let out a long breath, grabbed his arm and held on for a moment. His skin was warm and the touch between them was electric. He looked so achingly unhappy and she longed to fall into his arms and offer comfort and support. Instead, she nodded, dropped her hand and then headed down the hallway. The door to Maisy’s room was open and she watched for a moment as the girl refolded a shirt several times before placing it in her suitcase.
There were a couple of books on the bed—old sci-fi novels she knew had belonged to Ricky—and she quickly figured out why the teenager was so upset. Ash said her name and Maisy looked up, her blue eyes filled with a kind of inexplicable rage.
“You know, it’s okay to be angry.”
Maisy shrugged. “I’m not. I just want to go home. I hate it here.”
Ash walked into the room and sat on the end of the bed, hands in her lap. “I understand. If I was away from my friends and family, I wouldn’t want to stay away for too long.”
Maisy’s expression darkened.
“I don’t have a family.”
“Sure you do,” she said gently. “I mean, you have your dad, and I hear you have grandparents and two aunts back in Phoenix. In fact, I believe they are planning to come here next weekend. It’s lovely they care about you so much that they’d come all this way for a visit. I think that’s why Ricky decided to go and live with his cousin, because he wanted to be with his family.”
She shrugged again and tossed a pair of jeans into the case. “I dunno. He can do what he likes.”
Ash smiled. “People generally do. And as long as we don’t hurt other people in the process, it mostly works out okay.”
Maisy made a grunting sound. “Do you think so?”
Ash nodded. “I’ve been a foster parent for a long time and when one of the kids leave it’s always difficult at first.”
“Then why do you do it?” she said angrily and thrust a sweater into the case.
“Because the happy times make the hard times worth it,” Ash replied. “Ricky was here for nearly eight months and I grew to care for him a great deal. We all did. But at some point, he was always going to leave.”
Maisy stopped tossing clothes and looked at her. “Why?” Her bottom lip trembled. “Why do people always leave?”
Ash shimmied around the edge of the bed and moved closer to her. “People leave for lots of reasons. Sometimes it’s because they can’t stay.” She hesitated for a moment, knowing she was treading in dangerous waters. “Sometimes it’s because they die.”
She watched as Maisy’s expression suddenly shifted from rage to despair. Ash remained perfectly still, waiting for the young girl to speak. Tears filled Maisy’s bright blue eyes and Ash swallowed the lump of emotion in her throat. And then the teenager dropped onto the bed beside her and collapsed in her arms.
“I miss my mom so much,” Maisy sobbed, her despair palpable.
Ash held her tightly. “I know you do,” she said soothingly. “I know.”
“Why did she leave me alone?” Maisy wailed, her voice muffled against Ash’s shoulder.
