by Helen Lacey
“Oh, honey,” Ash said and stroked her hair. “You’re not alone. You’ll never be alone. Not ever. You’ve got your dad and your grandparents and—”
“He hates me,” Maisy said and shuddered. “I know he hates me. I know he wishes he’d never found out about me.”
“I don’t think that’s true, honey,” Ash said as she held her tight. “But I think he thinks that you hate him.”
“Sometimes I do,” she admitted and cried some more. “Because being with him means that my mom is never coming back and I—I just wish she hadn’t got sick. It happened so quick and there were doctors and hospitals and so much going on we didn’t have time to say goodbye. Not really. And then she was gone and I was told I had to go and live with someone I didn’t know. Someone who didn’t even know I existed. And no one asked me what I wanted.”
Ash looked up and saw Cole standing in the doorway. The pain in his expression spoke volumes and she desperately wanted to make things right for him. For them both. But in that moment Maisy needed her more. She was a child grieving for her mother and needed comfort and reassurance from another woman. Ash held up one hand, telling him without words that he should leave them alone for the moment. She felt bad for him through to her bones and managed to nod reassuringly, patting Maisy’s back as the girl sobbed against her. He lingered for a microsecond, clearly torn between wanting to console his child and doing what Maisy needed the most. When he turned and left, the anguish she saw on his face nearly broke her heart in two.
She stayed with Maisy for close to an hour. Holding her. Talking to her. Reassuring her. Calming her through endless tears. Finally, after she placed the suitcase on the floor and left Maisy to rest, Ash was more emotionally drained than she could remember feeling for a long time. She closed the bedroom door softly and walked down the hallway. Cole was in the lounge room, sitting on the sofa, his face in his hands.
He looked up and met her gaze. “How is she?”
Ash nodded. “Resting. Exhausted.”
“And you?”
She moved around the coffee table and sat down. “I’m okay. How are you feeling?”
He shrugged loosely. “Helpless.”
“It will pass, I promise,” she assured him. “This is a good thing, Cole. What happened with Maisy is exactly what needed to happen. She had to get those words out and really feel them.”
“Without me?”
Ash perched on the edge of the seat. “Yes...this time. Because there was no risk saying them to me. She had nothing to lose. And it wasn’t about excluding you or making you feel helpless, even though it probably felt that way.”
“It did,” he said flatly. “It does. But all I really care about is Maisy. I want her to be happy and to know she can rely on me. And to know that I truly do want her in my life.”
“You will get that chance. This is a big step. But it’s important to have patience and let her keep taking these steps at her pace. I think Ricky’s leaving pushed a button inside her,” Ash explained, her voice as quiet as she could make it. “And there will be other things, other buttons along the way, and each one will be another step toward you and to her accepting you as her father.”
He sprang to his feet and paced the room, coming to a halt by the fireplace. He dropped his hands to his sides as he let out a long and weary breath. “I do love her, you know.”
“I know.”
“At first, I wasn’t sure if I would,” he admitted, and she watched him swallow hard. “I thought, how can I care about a child that I don’t know—a child I never witnessed growing in her mom’s belly? A child I never got to see come into the world. Whose first cry, first steps, first words, first tooth were all things I missed. A child who was grown up and had her own mind and ideals.” He sighed heavily. “And then I met her. I met this angry, lost girl who had eyes just like mine and I felt an overwhelming connection that was inexplicable to me. And I realized that none of what I had missed actually mattered.” He placed a hand to his chest. “Because she’s a part of me. My child. I helped make her and she’s incredible. And so what if I missed out on the first fourteen years? With any luck I’ll get to be there for the next fifty. I’ll get to see her graduate high school and college. And maybe one day I’ll get to walk her down the aisle and then she’ll have children of her own. All I know is, I want to be there for all those things.”
Ash’s chest tightened and she got to her feet, walking toward him. Once they were barely a foot apart she reached out and touched his face, cupping his strong jaw, feeling the pulse beating wildly in his cheek beneath her palm.
I could fall in love with this man.
The idea terrified her. She’d spent a decade avoiding feelings. Avoiding the kind of instinctive pull she felt toward Cole. The crazy thing was, they weren’t in a relationship. They’d shared one kiss. And yet, she experienced an intimacy and connection toward him she’d never felt before. If she believed in reincarnation, Ash would have sworn they’d somehow known one another in another life. Another time. Another dimension.
I am falling in love with this man.
She moved closer and he roped an arm around her waist, pulling her against him. Ash pressed her face into his chest, felt his heart pounding beneath his rib cage, inhaled the scent of him that assailed every sense she possessed. He rested his chin on her head as his other arm came around her. They didn’t move. Didn’t speak. Didn’t do anything for what seemed like ages, but was probably barely minutes.
She’d been strong and independent all her life. She ran her ranch, raised her son, watched over other people’s children and protected her town. She’d never really longed for the safety of a man’s arms, because she hadn’t truly believed it existed. But standing with Cole, feeling the heat and strength of him seep deeply into her, Ash knew she was a fraud. She did want it.
She wanted him.
Ash pulled back a little and then pushed up on her toes and kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, forgetting her plan to invite them to dinner. Maisy needed to rest and Cole needed to stay close to his child.
He nodded. “Okay. And thank you...for caring about my daughter. It means a lot to me.”
Emotion burned her throat. “Good night, Cole.”
“Good night.”
Then she bailed, before she did something foolish—like admit she was halfway in love with him. And on the verge of falling the rest of the way.
Chapter Eight
“I think you left the gearbox back there.”
Maisy scowled and crunched the gearshift once more, then turned Ted’s old truck into a sharp arc and narrowly missed the fence. On the third day of driving lessons in the pasture behind the main house, she had at least managed to drive the vehicle for a few minutes without stalling it with an uncomfortable jerking motion. Cole hung onto his patience and braced his back for the inevitable and abrupt halt that was about to happen when she pressed the gas and clutch at the same time. Still, he had to give the kid credit for perseverance and commitment...until the truck stalled again and he called it quits. They switched seats and he drove the pickup back toward the barn.
“I think I’m improving,” his daughter said and planted her hands on her hips. “I only stalled five times today.”
“Six,” Cole said and held up one hand while he rubbed the back of his neck with the other. “Not that I was counting.”
She laughed. “I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it by the time I’m old enough to get my learners permit.”
Cole’s brows rose. “You mean I’ve only got another year or so of this?”
She laughed again and he liked the sound. She’d done a lot of laughing in the past couple of days. And talking. Not so much to him, but to Ash. They had developed a bond and he didn’t mind. As long as his daughter was talking to someone, he was happy.
“Can we do it again tomorrow?” she asked.
Cole grinned and rubbed his neck again. “Sure.”
Maisy laughed. “I’ll try and do better.”
“You’re doing fine,” Cole assured her.
“I might be as good as you one day,” she said and raised one brow questioningly.
“You just might. You’ve got the basics down,” he said and nodded. ‘The rest will come with practice.”
“It’s probably a DNA thing,” she said and offered him a smile that seemed so sincere, Cole had to swallow the tightness in his throat. “You know, since driving is in my blood.”
He stared at her and then smiled warmly. It was the first time Maisy had acknowledged that they shared anything and he was shocked and overjoyed by her admission. It was a small step...but an important one. Once she headed back to the cabin, Cole then spent the next few hours in the barn with Jaye, putting the finishing touches to the cart. The kid was beyond excited and badgered him for a trial run. With Ted’s help, they found a suitable spot down by the river they could use as a practice strip. Jaye crashed the thing on the first run and Cole almost lost the contents of his stomach for a moment when he thought the boy might be injured. But Jaye was a tough little dude, and even though he had a cut lip and a grazed knee, he insisted they keep practicing. They stayed out for another hour and by the time they got back to the barn it was past four o’clock. Cole sent Jaye off to the house to get cleaned up and he was tinkering with the cart when he heard Ash’s voice behind him.
“So, do you want to tell me why my child is bleeding?”
He quickly covered the cart with a tarp as he turned to face her. Jaye had made it very clear he didn’t want his mother to see it before the big day. She’d agreed, albeit a little uncertainly, but with a smile.
Only she wasn’t exactly smiling now.
“He crashed,” Cole said and looked her up and down, thinking how sexy she looked in her uniform. “But don’t worry, he’s okay.”
“Don’t worry?”
He grinned. “He’s a tough kid. And crashes come with the territory.”
“Great,” she said sarcastically. “I feel so reassured.”
“You should. Jaye designed a good cart.”
She stepped closer. “I think I should see it, to put my mind at rest.”
“No chance,” Cole said and stood in front of the tarp. “He wants it to be a surprise.”
“I could insist.”
“You could,” he said and grabbed her hand. “But you’d have to get past me first.”
She swayed toward him a little. “Since I have all the power in this relationship,” she reminded him, “I’m pretty sure I could have you doing exactly what I wanted in about ten seconds flat.”
Cole curled their fingers together. “No chance,” he said. “Five seconds, for sure.”
She laughed. “You are an outrageous flirt, you know that.”
He rested his behind on the bench and pulled her closer. “You’re the one coming in here dressed all hot and sexy.”
She laughed and looked down. “You have a serious problem if you find this outfit sexy.”
“On you, Officer McCune, I’d find a flour sack sexy,” he said and did his best to ignore how all the blood in his system seemed to suddenly be rushing to one part of his anatomy. Her body curved into his and there was no denying the desire between them.
“You know, this doesn’t feel particularly platonic,” she said wryly.
“No,” he said and grasped her hips, urging her closer. “It feels good, though.”
She laughed and the sound struck him down deep. Her laugh was like a tonic. Since Ricky’s departure and Maisy’s opening up to Ash, things had shifted between them. Subtly at first. For days, they’d been skirting one another. A look. A touch. It was all they needed to do to heat his blood and make him want her like he’d never wanted a woman before. And there had been flirting...lots of flirting. Maybe because they both knew it couldn’t go anywhere, but they were both powerless against the attraction they felt. And in his arms she was a perfect fit against him, all soft curves and loveliness to his hard angles.
“It does feel good,” she admitted. “Too good. Best you let me go.”
He dropped his hands and released her, but she didn’t move. He groaned, agonized. “Not fair.”
“All the power, remember?”
“I remember,” he said, aching. “How could I forget?”
She pulled away and took a few steps back. “What time do your folks arrive in town tomorrow?”
“After three,” he replied.
“They should come for dinner. It would be good for Maisy to catch up in these surroundings rather than the hotel.”
He agreed wholeheartedly. “They’ll also be at the fair on Saturday. Maisy has agreed to be their tour guide.”
“Wow,” she replied. “I’m impressed.”
“Me, too. By the way, where’s your truck? I didn’t hear you get home today.”
“It’s getting towed,” she explained. “Broke down again right outside O’Sullivans Hotel.”
“Bet they were happy about that.”
“Oh, Liam’s not such a grouch these days now that he’s married to my friend Kayla.”
Cole laughed. He knew about her friends. They’d talked a lot in the last couple of days. Every evening she came to the cabin and they sat on the small porch, drinking coffee or soda, chatting about anything and everything. And in those moments he felt as though they were the only two people on the planet. He learned that three of her closest girlfriends had all found love and married recently and she didn’t see them as much as she used to. There was no envy in her words, she was just sort of melancholy. She talked about her father and stepdad, and sometimes she would say things about Pete, too. He listened without comment, trying desperately to ignore how it made him feel to know she’d loved someone once and clearly was too afraid to let herself feel that way again. And she spoke about the town and her work and every time they talked, every time he got to hear her soft voice speaking of things that were so important to her, Cole felt himself getting in deeper. And falling. Hard.
“I’ll look at the truck when it gets here,” he said.
She smiled in the sweet way he was becoming so used to. “Thanks. I promised Maisy I’d watch a movie with her tonight. The Notebook,” she added and grinned. “Want to join us?”
Cole grimaced. “I’d rather walk over broken glass...barefoot.”
She laughed. “You might surprise yourself and enjoy the romance of it all.”
“I can be romantic,” he assured her, itching to haul her into his arms and kiss her sassy mouth. “Want to try me?” He looked up to the loft. “If only we had a balcony in here.”
She laughed again. “Yeah, yeah, very funny, Romeo.”
“You don’t believe me?”
Her mouth twisted. “Do I believe that you can be romantic? Maybe. With an agenda.”
He tapped his hand to his chest playfully. “An agenda? Do you think I’d resort to romantic nonsense to get what I want? I’m crushed.”
“I’m sure you’ll survive,” she replied, smiling as she lifted the tarp a fraction. “Now, about this cart. I’m curious as to its—”
“Do you trust me?” he asked a little more seriously as he grabbed her hand. “Do you trust that I would never knowingly put your child in danger?”
She nodded, biting her lower lip. “Yes.”
Cole raised her hand to his mouth and kissed her knuckles briefly. “Good. Jaye is going to be quite safe, I promise you. If I believed this race was beyond his capabilities, I’d say so. He’ll be fine,” he assured her. “And he wants you to see his cart for the first time on Saturday, at the starting line.”
“Okay.”
> He smiled. “What? No argument? No resistance?”
“When I’m this close to you,” she said huskily. “I’m really all out of resistance.”
He wanted to kiss her so much in that moment that it took every ounce of his self-control to drop her hand and let her go. “You really need to get out of here.”
“I know,” she said and stepped back. “And, Cole, thank you for doing this with Jaye. I know it means the world to him.”
“It means a lot to me, too.”
He watched her walk away.
Wanting her so much he ached.
* * *
Ash liked Cole’s family from the moment they climbed out of their rental car and greeted her on Friday afternoon. His dad, Ian, was bold and blustery and had the curliest auburn hair she’d ever seen. His mother, Zara, was stunningly beautiful, as were his two younger sisters, Scarlett and Aisha. And they loved him. The familial closeness was undeniable. And lovely to watch. They clearly loved Maisy, too, and Ash was delighted that the teenager was pleasant and welcoming to her grandparents and aunts over dinner. The house felt so alive and warm with everyone in it. Nancy played hostess brilliantly, while Uncle Ted regaled them with some of his navy tales and Jaye kept monopolizing Ian with talk about racing and his supersonic cart. Through all the talk, all the stories and all the laughter, Ash felt Cole’s leg pressed against hers beneath the table. She liked the feeling. And wanted it, even if she wasn’t quite sure why. She knew it was foolish. Knew she was asking for trouble. But the connection somehow felt like a lifeline. Something they both needed in the midst of their families getting to know one another.
Once dinner was over and dessert was ready to be served, Ash found herself in the kitchen with Zara and Cole’s sisters, and handled their curiosity about the ranch and her career and the many children she fostered.
“Maisy is glowing,” Zara said and smiled. “My son tells me that’s all because of you.”
Ash shrugged lightly and pulled the lemon meringue from the refrigerator. “It’s not all my doing. He’s worked hard on their relationship and he’s being modest about it.”
