by Helen Lacey
“But, do you want the job?” Nicola asked and pushed a latte across the counter to her.
“I’m not sure. I mean, I like the idea of it. However, the hours are longer and I would probably have to give up some of my volunteer work. And maybe I’ll have to rethink how much fostering I do. I know my mom and Uncle Ted would be supportive, but I don’t want anything to affect Jaye.”
“Being a single mom is hard,” Nicola said and sighed.
Ash nodded. “And we have a support network around us. I don’t know how I’d cope if I didn’t have my mom and uncle. Like Maisy’s mother, who did it alone for over thirteen years. And through a terminal illness.”
Nicola smiled sadly. “Poor Maisy. But, she’s got her dad now, and that seems to be working out.”
“Yes,” Ash said and sighed. “She’s coming around.”
“And Cole?” Nicola asked. “How are things in that department?”
“He and Maisy have—”
“I meant between you and him,” Nicola said, cutting her off.
“Oh, you know, sex always complicates things.”
Nicola almost spat out her coffee. “Whoa, back up. You slept with him?”
Ash nodded. “Although technically, we didn’t do a whole lot of sleeping.”
Her friend’s eyes bulged. “Are you in love with him?”
“I think so,” she replied candidly.
“Is he in love with you?”
Ash sighed heavily, wondering about the question she’d asked herself countless times over the past three days. “I don’t know. I mean, when we’re together it’s so easy and comfortable and yet, it’s also intense and incredibly passionate. And when we’re apart, I think about him and want to be with him, to talk to him and just listen to the sound of his voice. It’s like we’ve known one another forever. And sometimes, I feel him watching me and think, yes, he feels this, too. But I’m not good at this stuff,” she said, her throat tight with emotion. “After Pete, I closed down. I stopped feeling and concentrated on things that wouldn’t break my heart. But with Cole, I feel vulnerable and achy and so out-of-my-league in the feelings department. The thing is, he’s nothing like Pete. They’re opposites in every way. Cole is strong and sensible and reliable and he really stepped up to be a father when he found out about Maisy. Whereas Pete...”
“Bailed the moment things got hard?” Nicola said, finishing her thought.
Ash shrugged. “Honestly, I think we were done way before then. If Jaye’s accident hadn’t happened, something else would have driven him off. It was all the excuse he needed to walk out. And with Cole, it’s crazy to even think we could make it work. He lives a thousand miles away. He has a career. A life. A family. And so do I. For it to work, one of us would have to give up everything.”
“And you couldn’t?”
Ash shook her head. “My life is here. My son’s life is here. And Cole needs to give Maisy a stable and secure home, surrounded by her grandparents and aunts. His family business is like a dynasty and he would never give that up and I couldn’t ask him to. It’s impossible to imagine it could be any other way.”
Nicola nodded. “So, it’s settled. It’s not going to happen.”
“Exactly. And I’m doing the right thing by making sure nothing else happens between us while he’s here, don’t you think?”
Nicola grinned. “You asking me for advice? The poster child for failed romantic relationships? I think you should do what feels right.”
The problem with that, Ash thought as she left JoJo’s and headed home, was that what felt right was impossible. Being in Cole’s arms felt right. Watching him with her son felt right. Spending time with his daughter felt right. Imagining them as a family felt right.
When she arrived home it was nearly five o’clock and she spotted a brand-new silver pickup parked outside the barn. Jaye, Micah and Uncle Ted were circling the vehicle and when he saw her pull up, Jaye came over to her, hands waving excitedly.
“Mom, Mom! Isn’t it awesome?”
Ash looked at the truck, with its sleek lines and shiny paint, and then at her uncle. “Nice rig. Who does it belong to?”
“You,” Jaye announced and grinned. “Us! It’s ours.”
Ash stared at Ted and frowned. “What?”
“Joss Culhane dropped it off an hour ago,” Ted explained. “Said he picked it up from Rapid City this morning. Said it belonged to you.”
Confusion clawed up her neck. “That doesn’t make sense. It’s a mistake. Why one earth would—”
“I don’t think it’s me you should be asking about this,” Ted said and waved a hand in the direction of the cabins.
Ash snapped her head around. Cole sat on the porch of his cabin, feet stretched out, wearing jeans and a white T-shirt. Heat climbed over her skin and she turned, instructing Jaye to stay with his uncle because she knew he would follow her otherwise. And with every step she got hotter and madder. When she reached the cabin, she halted by the bottom step and glared up at him, chest heaving. And he was smiling as he looked her over.
“By the expression on your face I guess I don’t have to ask if you’re responsible for this?” she said, hooking a thumb in the direction of the barn.
He shrugged.
“Don’t do that,” she said angrily. “Don’t look all innocent and make out as though this isn’t a big deal. Because it is a big deal. It’s a huge deal.”
He shrugged again. “It’s just a truck.”
“It’s a brand-new, very expensive truck,” she said, tapping her foot on the bottom step. “And it’s not staying here. Send it back.”
“The truck stays,” he said and shook his head. “There’s no point being stubborn about this.”
Rage curdled through her blood. “I don’t want it.”
He cocked a brow. “What? You don’t want a safe, reliable vehicle to transport your family around in? This reaction is simply your pride talking.”
“It’s not pride,” she spluttered. “It’s—it’s...good sense. A vehicle like that is way out of my budget and I—”
“It’s a gift,” he said, cutting her off.
“It’s excessive.”
He shrugged again, infuriating her. “I can easily afford it, therefore it’s not excessive.”
“Can you hear yourself?” she demanded. “Maybe you think it’s okay to live in a world where money solves everything, but I can’t be bought.”
He shot to his feet. “I’m not trying to buy you. I’m trying to thank you.”
“I don’t need—”
“Do you know where my daughter is right this minute?” he said, cutting her off again. “With your mom, making brownies. And today she asked me if we could get a cat when we get home. Home, Ash. She called my apartment her home. She’s never done that before. For the past few days she’s been talking about the future. About school and joining the drama society and going on a vacation with me and her grandparents. Things I never imagined she would say. And that’s because of you. Because she’s here, with you. Because of how you and your family have made her feel, I think she’s actually healing.”
Emotion clutched at Ash’s throat and she swallowed hard. “I’m happy that Maisy has started accepting you, Cole, but buying a gift that extravagant is out of the question. I can’t accept it.”
He exhaled heavily and moved down the steps. “Is this because we made love?”
God, she was dying inside. She wanted to fall into his arms and forget every reason she shouldn’t. “No...yes...I don’t know. All I know is that I cannot accept such generosity. Not from anyone.”
He held her gaze. “I didn’t realize I was just anyone.”
Ash closed her eyes for moment and took a long breath. “That’s not what I meant. But things are complicated enough and—”
Cole grabbed her hand and placed a set of keys in her palm. “Keep the truck. Or sell it.” He released her and stepped back. “If you can’t accept it for yourself, then do it for your mom, or your uncle or your son. And I’d like to take you to dinner tomorrow night. Just you and me,” he added. “No kids. No chaperones. A proper date.”
He turned and headed up the steps and disappeared into the cabin before she had a chance to respond. Stunned, Ash remained where she was for a moment. She looked toward the truck and her son and uncle and then back toward the cabin. She finally found some energy to move her legs and walked to the main house. She found her mother and Maisy in the kitchen, baking up a storm. They both looked up when she entered the room, but it was Maisy who spoke first.
“You look mad,” the teenager said and grinned. “He said you would be.”
“He’s right,” she said stiffly, meeting her mother’s curious gaze.
“It’s a generous gift,” Nancy said as she measured out cocoa powder.
“Too generous,” Ash said as she dropped the keys on the table and sat down.
“You do know he’s rich, right?” Maisy said, brows raised in an endearingly familiar way that was so much like her father it made Ash’s insides ache. “Like, really rich? The whole family is.”
“That’s no excuse,” Ash said stiffly, fighting her anger at him for being so high-handed and arrogant. “Money doesn’t buy happiness.”
“No,” Maisy mused. “But it does buy shiny new trucks. And he won’t take it back. He’s stubborn.”
Nancy chuckled. “You may as well admit defeat on this one, Ash.”
She shook her head. “I can be stubborn, too.”
Her mother gave a wry smile and said cryptically, “Make sure it’s for the right reasons.”
Ash managed a weary nod and headed upstairs. She showered and changed into cotton cargoes and a green T-shirt, ignoring the bed that reminded her way too much of Cole. She thought about his parting words. A date. The two of them. No kids. No chaperones.
Jerk.
There was no way she was going on a date with him. Not a chance.
Which is exactly what she told her mother the following morning once the kids had eaten breakfast and were getting ready for their homeschooling lessons.
“It is a little romantic,” Nancy said and rinsed the coffee mugs. “And it wouldn’t hurt you to embrace a little romance.”
“And risk everything?”
“Everything?” Her mother’s eyes widened. “Or just your guarded heart?”
“He’s leaving on Saturday,” Ash reminded her.
“A lot can happen in four days. He likes you. You like him,” Nancy said and smiled. “Why don’t you simply see where that takes you.”
“Because it’s pointless,” she stated hotly. “It doesn’t matter that I like him. It wouldn’t matter if I was crazy in love with him—the outcome would be the same.”
“Are you?” Nancy asked, brows up. “Crazy in love with him?”
“I don’t do crazy,” she said, her expression tight.
“Well, maybe it’s time that you did,” her mother suggested. “And you should wear the blue dress tonight—the one with the buttons up the front.”
“I’m not going,” she said, standing her ground.
But she did go. And she did wear the blue dress. He collected her at her door at six thirty, looking achingly gorgeous in pressed black trousers and a light gray shirt open at the collar. And he smelled so sexy she had to force herself not to inhale the scent that was uniquely his and had somehow become a narcotic for her senses.
“What exactly did you tell Maisy we were doing tonight?” she asked quietly, once they were in the rental car and driving from the house. “Did you tell her this was a date?”
“No,” he replied. “But I’m not in the habit of sharing the details of my personal life with my daughter.” He waited a moment and then spoke again. “I simply said we were going out and didn’t elaborate.”
“What if she suspects something?”
“Suspects what? That we’re having dinner together? I’m pretty sure she won’t care one way or another. It’s dinner, Ash, not a weekend in Vegas.”
Heat crawled up her neck. “So, this is simply dinner?”
“Of course. Isn’t that how a first date usually goes?”
“Oh, this is a first date,” she said über-sweetly. “Thanks for clearing that up.”
He made an impatient sound as they crossed the bridge and headed into the center of town. “Is this about the truck?”
“What?”
“The truck,” he repeated. “Are you still mad about that? I noticed you drove your old pickup to work this morning.”
“Of course I did,” she said tightly. “And of course I’m still mad at you. I’m not the kind of woman who is impressed by diamonds and private jets.”
He laughed. “It’s a truck, not an engagement ring.”
Ash burned from the soles of her feet to the roots of her hair. “I wasn’t suggesting... I mean, I didn’t think for one minute that—that...”
He laughed again, louder this time as he turned the vehicle into the O’Sullivans Hotel parking lot and zipped into a space. “Lost for words? That’s a first.”
Ash got out and slammed the door. “You’re such a jerk.”
He met her around the passenger side. “You look beautiful, by the way. Nice dress.”
She glared at him. “Good try. But it won’t work. I’m immune to your charms.”
His eyes glittered. “Really?” he said and grasped her arm gently, pulling her close. “Care to prove that theory?”
“Don’t even think about kissing me,” she said hotly.
He pressed closer and draped a hand on her hip. “I’m not going to kiss you. Unless you ask me to. Which you’ll do in about ten seconds flat if I do this,” he said and grasped her chin, tilting her head back slightly. “And this,” he added, trailing his thumb along her jawline and then tracing her lower lip, and then her top lip, so excruciatingly slowly that the sensation made her arch involuntarily toward him. “Or maybe this,” he said, moving his hand down her throat and grazing his knuckles across her skin.
“Cole,” she said, and sighed. “Stop...please.”
He chuckled softly. “Okay,” he said and dropped his hand as he put space between them. “Let’s go inside.”
The main restaurant at O’Sullivans was well appointed and offered international cuisine. With starched white tablecloths, fine bone china, excellent service and the kind of menu found in big-city hotels. The place was busy, but Cole had obviously booked a table and they were seated quickly. He ordered wine without looking at the menu and once the waiter disappeared, he gave her a kind of sexy smile that made her knees tremble.
“Would you stop being so—so damned perfect,” she said and sighed.
He grinned. “I do have my flaws.”
“Name one?” she challenged.
“I can’t sing,” he replied. “And we’ve already established that I can’t cook. And you did accuse me of being a lousy kisser a while back.”
She smiled. “I think we both know that’s not true. So, what else?”
“You want to hear about more of my flaws?” His mouth twisted. “I’m afraid of spiders.”
“And?”
“And when I was fourteen I ate shellfish to get out of a history exam.”
Ash’s eyes bulged. “That could have killed you.”
He shrugged and nodded. “Not my best decision. And not one I’ve repeated, since I spent three days in hospital. What about you?”
The waiter returned and once the wine was poured, Ash raised her glass and smiled. “I’m afraid of clowns. If I ever took Jaye to a kid’s birthday party and t
hey had a clown, I’d end up hyperventilating and hiding in the bathroom.”
“Anything else you’re afraid of?”
“Slasher movies. Rogue waves. Falling in love with you.”
As the words left her mouth it was as though every sound around them disappeared. He stilled, but she saw the glass in his hand tilt unsteadily and a few drops of wine landed on the tablecloth.
He put down the glass and rested his hands on the table. “Well, I guess you can avoid the slasher movies. And I don’t imagine you’ll be experiencing a rogue wave in South Dakota anytime soon. As for the other thing,” Cole said quietly, his gaze unwavering as he grabbed her hand and entwined their fingers intimately, “it’s not something you should be afraid of.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying...”
“I know exactly. I know what I’m feeling. And I hope it’s what you’re feeling, too.”
Ash’s throat closed over. “It’s an impossible idea.”
“What if it’s not?” he said softly. “What if it’s exactly the thing that’s meant to happen? What if the reason I came here, the reason your cousin suggested it in the first place, was so that we could end up right here, right now?”
She couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t move. Couldn’t do anything except stay trapped in the intensity of his gaze. And wish that things were different. Wish that they didn’t live a thousand miles from one another. Wish that they didn’t both have family they loved and obligations keeping them tied to the lives they had.
Ash found the courage to ask the question burning through her blood. “Are you saying that you’re...in love with me?”
He stared at her. Long. Hard. And the moment seemed to stretch into eternity. Then he spoke. One word.
“Yes.”
Chapter Eleven
If he’d been prepared for the question, if he’d known he was going to lay his heart on the line, Cole would have ensured he had a ring in his pocket and then dropped to his knee and asked her to marry him. But the tiny lick of good sense he had left screamed inside his head that it was too soon, and a busy restaurant where she was easily recognized wasn’t the place. Then the waiter returned and they were suddenly perusing menus and ordering food. Once the waiter left their table he couldn’t remember what selection he’d made. But the distraction had given Ash the opportunity to pull away and hold her hands in her lap.
