Get What You Give

by Stephanie Perry Moore

  I grabbed my friend’s hands, squeezed them tightly, and said, “I would do anything for you, girl. Don’t worry about me going anywhere. Just because I have someone else in my life doesn’t mean I’m going to replace you. Subconsciously, my heart has been feeling these things for a guy I’ve never felt before, and I wanna see where things are gonna go. It doesn’t mean as much if I don’t have a best friend to share it all with. Really, though, Covin is great. You may have a grudge against him for beating you in the SGA election, but I think you guys would get along great.”

  “I’m cool with you two dating. I know he’s special to you. I can tell how you glow when you talk about him, Hailey. I’m sorry for being so petty. I promise you we will never be like Sam and Cassidy.”

  We hugged. Things were back in order. I just prayed that they would stay that way.

  Thanksgiving had come, and my family was having a big dinner at our house. My mom told me I could invite anyone over, but Teddi was with her grandparents, Covin was with his parents, and my line sisters were with their respective families out of state. But as I looked at the feast laid out before me of turkey, collard greens, macaroni and cheese, cabbage, stuffing, potato salad, cornbread, sweet-potato pie, and red velvet cake, I realized how blessed I was, and I thought about Ms. Mayzee King’s family.

  I knew we were gonna have leftovers, but were they gonna have enough food? I rushed over to my mom and told her what I was thinking, and she thought it was an excellent idea to make sure the King family had food.

  I didn’t have their phone number, so my mom made me go over and invite them to dinner. As I stood on the front porch, waiting for someone to open the door, I smelled food. Seemed they were taken care of, but I couldn’t just leave.

  The kids’ grandmother came to the barely stable door of the trailer. “Thank you, baby. You and your school. Y’all have just blessed me and my grandbabies so.” I didn’t know what she was talking about for a second. At least not until I came in and saw the card displayed on her card table from a familiar person. “That SGA President of yours, with his handsome self, came by with a bunch of groceries yesterday. Me, these grandchildren, and some of the neighbors are gonna eat all this good food.”

  I felt horrible that I had let Covin down. I was the director of community relations, and I didn’t know anything about this. Had this pledging consumed me? Yes, it had. I hadn’t been into the SGA office or with him in the last ten days. We’d had to study for our upcoming Beta test. My line had been bonding. I’d had no extra time for him. But I guessed this was his way of showing “one monkey don’t stop the show.” Clearly, I could see the show was doing well without me. Honestly, it was killing me.

  “Why are you looking so sad, girl? Y’all helped us with so much,” she said to me, confused by my reaction.

  “Well, I’m glad y’all are enjoying it,” I replied, looking away.

  “Something’s not right. Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong. You can tell me anything.”

  “It’s nothing,” I said, knowing I was here to help her, not to burden her with my issues.

  “No, something’s wrong,” she said in a motherly tone. “Talk to me, dear.”

  “This was my job, and it got done without me. I feel a little bad, is all,” I vulnerably admitted.

  “Well, when you’re a part of a team, people pick up each other’s slack. That’s what a family is for. Did anybody get onto you and tell you you let them down?”

  “No, ma’am.”

  “Then do more than your part next time. You don’t have to be the one who gets all the glory.”

  “It wasn’t about me getting the glory or anything like that,” I confessed. “It was about me pulling my weight.”

  “Well, girl, you’re young. You can’t be everywhere at every time. You got a good heart, and that should count for something. You came over to see about us, and I’m sure you were going to invite us to your house for dinner. A lot of people mind having poor people over to their house, but you don’t. You got a good heart. What’s your name, child?”

  “Hailey. Hailey Grant.”

  “Well, Miss Hailey Grant, God is gonna bless you. Be glad He’s blessing those you want to help, even if He uses someone other than you. Trust me, the Lord will use you, too,” she said as we hugged. “Thanks again.”

  I left her house with a better understanding of my purpose on this earth. I had to understand that others care about people in need, too, and I needed to be okay with helping when I could. I had really needed that talk. She’d given much wisdom.

  When I got home, my family was ready to eat. My sister was there with her boyfriend and his parents. My mom and dad seemed overly excited that they were at the table. Was there something going on I didn’t know about? As long as folks were happy, I didn’t need details. I was thankful.

  Just when we were about to bless the food to eat, my sister’s boyfriend, Creed, stood up, took Hayden’s hand, and said, “I know what I’m thankful for, and that is this young lady who’s been my best friend for the past four years. She’s held up my strength and put up with my weaknesses. She’s inspired me to be a better person. After a talk with her parents, I am excited to say, Hayden, I love you, and I can’t see my life going on without you. I would like to know if you would do me the honor of being my wife.” He got down on one knee, kissed her hand, and continued his proposal. “Will you marry me?”

  I couldn’t have been more proud when she said, “Yes, Creed.”

  Creed took out a ring, and the houseful of relatives, including my uncle, aunts, parents, and a host of cousins, all cheered. It was a pure, beautiful moment.

  The day after Thanksgiving, my mom, my sister, and I had shopped until we dropped. We were going from mall to mall, and it felt like we stopped in every store. I was exhausted. Now it was Saturday morning—time for me to sleep in and rest. They wanted to go again.

  “Come on, Hailey,” Hayden said. “You gotta help me prepare for my wedding.”

  She had just gotten engaged, and she was already set on having things lined up for her big day. I was tired; all I wanted to do was sleep in and spend some time with my dad. She and my mom could have that shopping thing. I wasn’t hating or anything. It just wasn’t my thing.

  Then my mom cut in and said, “Please, Hailey, for me. I wouldn’t have as much fun as I did yesterday without my two girls.”

  After she made me feel bad about not giving me that many requests and being home for the holiday, I got out of bed, threw on some sweats, brushed my teeth, and said, “All right, let’s go.”

  “No, no, no, no,” Hayden said. “You can’t go anywhere like that. How about some makeup or doing something to your hair? Oh, uh-uh, Hailey. You can still see stuff on the sides of your eyes.”

  “It’s not about me—it’s about the bride. You’re the one who has to try on dresses. This is your world, and I’m just a squirrel looking for a nut. I’m here only to please you,” I said in the smartest tone I could muster up.

  “Okay, Hailey. I understand you don’t wanna go, but you’re going. Just fix yourself up,” Hayden replied in a bossy tone.

  “Mom, will you tell her it’s not that serious!” I yelled out, looking for my mom to have my side.

  “Baby, it’s always important to look presentable. You never know who you may run into. Now, we got a quick second, so go ahead and fix yourself. Don’t take too long though.”

  Finally, thirty minutes later, we were in the car. I had to force myself to put on a pair of slacks and a nice shirt and pin my hair up. I wasn’t too done up, but I did aim to please. I had to admit, though, I was in the backseat pouting, and all they were doing was talking about colors, flowers, and china patterns—stuff I could have been interested in if I had gotten a little more rest. I wasn’t getting hazed or anything, but the sorority kept me busy. If I wasn’t in class, I was busy studying for class. If I wasn’t studying for classes, I was preparing for this Beta test. I practically had a twenty-four-hour day.

/>   We were driving toward campus, and I didn’t know what bridal shop was over there, but my mom and sister were so into their conversation that I couldn’t get a word in to ask them where we were headed.

  When we pulled up to the campus, I said, “Why are we here?”

  “Oh, my brother wanted me to get something,” my mom said, carefree.

  I never knew her to get anything for him, but okay. As soon as we pulled up to a building—that I remembered too fondly because I had been to it so many times for Beta Gamma Pi for the past months—I started to wonder what was going on. I looked at both my mom and sister, and they were dressed in all black. Had they known something I didn’t?

  Hayden, sensing my confusion, said, “Don’t ask any more questions, Hailey. Just get out.”

  I hopped out of the car and smiled from Arkansas to California. They had gotten me good. I went up to room 102, and Cassidy met me at the door. She handed me a paper and said, “Your BGP fate is in your hands. You have twenty minutes—do your best and ace the test.” Why did I have only twenty minutes when the other four of my line sisters weren’t even around?

  When I was done, Cassidy took me to another room. There I put on a purple robe. “We have our properties now. I’ll be back for you,” she said as she left the room.

  When the door opened again, it was Teddi. I guess I had passed my exam.

  “It looks like we’re crossing!” she screamed out.

  “Yeah, but where are Evan, Quisa, and Millie?” As soon as I asked, the door opened again, and there they were. “I thought y’all were out of town!”

  “We were going home, but we got called back. We ended up staying with our adviser,” Evan said.

  We were all giddy and excited. I was so fired up, overjoyed, and relieved. The Lord had spared my life this semester. Things were really looking too good for me. And I was certainly falling for Covin. These were feelings that were deep and magical. I couldn’t wait to see how everything would pan out with us.

  Having camaraderie with these four ladies that I admired, walking through the burning sands, having a room full of Betas—my mom and sister included—serenading us, and saying the oath that we would faithfully serve Beta Gamma Pi until the day we died was something that made me beam with pride and bask.

  8

  GIANT

  Because a lot of students didn’t go home for Thanksgiving break, SGA had a party that night for those who were left at school. We found out that several other lines had crossed—the Mus and the Rhos and a couple frats. My line sisters were too excited to show off their letters. I just wanted to see Covin. I wanted so badly for him to hug me and tell me how proud he was of me that I had obtained this big feat.

  When we were about to practice our new-member presentation, Teddi saw me completely distracted and said, “Sorors, our line sister Hailey needs to find her boy.”

  It was our night, and I didn’t want to let them down if I stepped away. However, I had been putting Covin on the backburner for far too long. Needing to tend to him, I hoped my girls understood.

  Evan said, “It’s cool, girl. We understand.”

  Teddi said, “Go find him.”

  I positively knew we’d come a long way when Teddi wasn’t stressing me to hang out with them. Don’t get me wrong, I did wanna step, learn some chants, and be with my sorority sisters, but deep down I wanted to be with the guy who made my heart pitter-patter.

  When I went over a little early to the place where the party was gonna be, I was happy to see Covin’s car outside. Quickly, I got out and went inside. No one was on the door yet checking people to come in, so I went inside freely to look around. I called out to Covin, but I didn’t see him. I went around to the back room, and he was in there with the SGA secretary, Barbie Stein. She was all smiles as he showed her the system he’d wanted to use for collecting tickets. I knocked on the door to interrupt their little meeting. I could tell, as she rolled her eyes, that it bothered her.

  “What’s up, stranger?” Covin said when he glanced up and saw me, letting me know he was a little irritated.

  I just gave a fake smile, waiting for the girl who occupied his present time to leave, but she didn’t move. Respectfully, I said, “Covin, may I speak to you for a minute?”

  “Well, we’re trying to get ready for this event. I got a lot of people for this SGA cabinet, but some of them have been MIA. With me trying to wear multiple hats, I don’t have a lot of time.”

  I walked over to him. “It won’t take long though. I promise.”

  Barbie stroked his neck and said, “Covin, you can go ahead and talk to her. I got it. Just don’t stay gone too long, because we don’t have much longer before we open the doors. I know we’re gonna have a full house.”

  Then he followed me into the open spaces. He wasn’t rushing into my arms. I felt bad; I’d obviously given him reason to doubt me.

  “Okay, I know you are bummed with me, but there’s no need for the attitude,” I said, quickly trying to alleviate the drama.

  “I’m just telling the truth. You signed up to help me, and you’re not. You called me in the middle of the night to help you, and I was there. When I need you, you’re nowhere to be found.”

  “What are you talking about? I didn’t even know you needed me.”

  “I can’t even leave you a message, Hailey. Your voice mail is full, and that’s not good business. Why wouldn’t you check in with me anyway? Lots of ideas came up for community relations, and I had to act on them myself. I didn’t know what was going on with you. I thought maybe we were through.”

  “Oh, no,” I said as I came closer to him and tried to put my hand on his face and rub it gently and calm him down. Yet he backed away really quickly and let me know I was invading his space.

  “I didn’t know what to think. If the shoe were on the other foot, I’m sure you would’ve been bummed out that you hadn’t heard from me.”

  “I’m sorry you feel that way, Covin, and I’m sorry things have been hectic lately. I came here to let you know I crossed.” I opened my jacket and showed him my Beta Gamma Pi sweatshirt.

  “It’s gonna be hard catering to SGA when you’re serving a sorority,” he said as he walked away.

  “Covin, it doesn’t have to be that way. There is a way I can do both.”

  “You know what, Hailey?” he said as he turned and faced me. “Let’s not act like there’s not a big elephant in the room. We know I come second to your sorority.”

  “I don’t think I come first to SGA. You made a commitment to lead this campus.”

  “Yeah, and you agreed to help me.”

  “And I still want to. Now that the biggest part of this sorority is behind me, I’m a full-fledged member; I can dictate my own schedule. I don’t have to go to mandatory things. Outside of this sorority,” I said as I walked up to him, “I wanna be with you.” Then I gave him a long, sweet kiss on the lips.

  Moments after we connected in a special way, he said, “Well, that’s what I’m talking about. I’ve wanted this ... us. Glad you want us, too.”

  It didn’t take long for sorority life to kick in full swing. It was a week later, and my line sisters and I were excited to head to our first meeting. The ceremony that had taken place at the beginning had lived up to its pomp and circumstance. Lighting the five candles in the chapter room that signified the five Gems that BGP stood for reaffirmed our vow that we were in this to make a difference.

  Knowing now that we were going to respect one another, let everyone know we were going to step out there and be bold and different, and take this sorority to new heights motivated all five of us. There were about twenty-five of us in the room—my five line sisters plus the sorors from Cassidy’s line who had not graduated. There was so much we were going to be able to do together.

  And as soon as Sam hit the gavel, signifying that the meeting had started, a girl who hadn’t been around a lot stood up and said, “I know I don’t know any of you new sorors, but I’m Kim. We’re st
ill your big sisters, so I do expect you to—”

  The gavel was hit a few more times, and Sam said, “You’re out of line, soror. This isn’t announcements.”

  “I don’t see any agenda to follow. It is the President’s responsibility to prepare an agenda. With nothing going around, you have no right to tell me if I’m in line or out of line. This is get-in-where-you-fit-in time,” Kim responded.

  Teddi hit me on my left leg. “I didn’t know we were going to be thrown into drama.”

  Evan hit me on the right. “Now, they know they need to calm down and have a civilized meeting.”

  “I’ve had a heavy course load with my studies this whole semester,” Kim said, “and I heard you’ve been bullying people, thinking you run everything around here. And I just wanna say, in front of the new sorors and to set the record straight, that this is our chapter.”

  Sam hit the gavel again and said, “Soror, you are out of line! And as long as the gavel is in my hands”—Cassidy whispered something in her ear—“all right, but I’m just saying she doesn’t need to try me. Ladies, we were going to have an agenda, but the copy machines weren’t working.”

  Some disrespectful sorors who didn’t acknowledge Sam were snickering. Connie, one of the sorors, blurted out, “It’s not like you don’t have a computer. You could’ve easily printed thirty to forty copies. We ain’t stupid.”

  Cassidy was looking in the crowd to see who had said it. When she saw the confused and disheartened looks on our faces, she stood and said, “Sorors, I know everybody’s probably heard about what happened between Sam and me.”