The Harder They Fall

by Debbie McGowan

  His mother carried on rubbing her hair for a few seconds before what he’d said registered. She lifted her head slowly and carefully pushed the curls out of her face, turning towards him; a gradual, drawn-out motion intended to intimidate. It did the trick.

  “Care to explain?”

  “Shall I make us a drink first? Coffee? Tea?”

  “Andrew. Sit down.” She pointed at the loungers and he sat, uncomfortably balanced on the edge, not wanting to lean back and leave himself any more vulnerable than he already was. “Right, lad,” she said, folding her arms. “You’d best get talking.”

  “Erm, well…” Little Shaunna turned and looked at him with big wide, enquiring eyes, as if she too was waiting to hear what he had to say. “In all honesty, Mum, I didn’t know until quite recently.”

  “When?”

  “A couple of years ago.”

  “So you’ve got a two year old daughter that you haven’t even bothered to mention?”

  “Err, no. She’s a bit older than that.”

  She glared at him and he shrank back behind his niece, who bent over so she could keep her eyes fixed on him.

  “She’s, erm…” There was no way he could just come straight out and say it. He went for the roundabout route. “You remember Adele’s mate, Shaunna?”

  “Not really.”

  “You will do. She used to come round and sit in the lounge looking miserable, while Adele went upstairs to see Dan.” Still not a flicker of recognition. “Red hair down to her waist, cropped jeans, high heels?” Finally.

  “Oh yes. The Giggler.”

  “The who?”

  “Me and your dad (by whom she meant ‘Dad the Second’) called her The Giggler, because that’s all she did when you or Dan were anywhere nearby.” Andy nodded his understanding. “They’re still friends, I take it? Adele and Shaunna?” She looked at the wriggling toddler as she said this, by way of confirming the origin of her name. Andy nodded again. “Yes, so what about her?”

  “Well it’s her daughter. I mean she’s our daughter.” His mother raised a solitary eyebrow. He took a deep breath and tried again. “Shaunna’s daughter, Krissi, is mine.”

  “And how old is this Krissi?”

  “She’d be about, err…” He pretended to think, but he knew exactly how old she was. He even knew when her birthday was, as well as the day of the week and time she was born. “She’s just turned twenty-three,” he said quickly and ducked. Little Shaunna gave him a terrible look; the same expression as her grandmother.

  “I think I’m going deaf in my old age,” his mother said, shaking her ear for effect, “but I swear I heard you say she’s twenty-three.”

  He smiled sheepishly.

  “So what you’re telling me is you got a girl pregnant when you were still at school? What in hell’s name were you thinking?”

  “There wasn’t a whole lot of thinking went into it, Mum.”

  “And is Krissi coming here tonight?”

  “Erm…” The answer was yes. His mother shook her head in disdain and picked up the towel again.

  “Honest to God. Kids!” she said and walked off, muttering about not being surprised she had so many wrinkles and her hair was so grey. Little Shaunna reached out and grabbed Andy’s nose. It hurt.

  “Ouch,” he said and she started to giggle. “I think Nana might be a bit cross, eh?” She grabbed his nose again and he pretended to do the same thing back, then went inside to find Dan and Michael.

  On reflection, telling his mother hadn’t been anywhere near as bad as he’d anticipated, but that was only the start of it. She’d expect a full introduction later, and he had no idea how Krissi was going to react. They didn’t have a father-daughter relationship, because she still saw Kris as being her dad, and treated Andy as if he were little more than a sperm donor, which, he supposed, wasn’t that far off the truth.

  Now he was out of the conservatory, he put his niece down so she could toddle ahead, catching a whiff of her nappy in the process. Dan and Michael were walking towards him, with Michael narrating some story involving lamp-posts.

  “What’s that about lamp-posts?” Andy asked.

  “Oh, nothing,” Dan said dismissively and gave him a sly wink.

  “Well, you’ll be pleased to hear that your daughter has filled her nappy.”

  “Again? I’ve already changed it once today,” Dan sighed. “Come here stinker.” Shaunna grabbed his legs, coming over all coy again with Michael nearby. Dan picked her up and sniffed. “Pooey!” He retrieved the bags he’d left by the entrance and headed off upstairs.

  “I never thought I’d see the day,” Michael remarked, and whilst it was true that neither he nor Andy had ever envisaged their younger brother so expertly fulfilling the role of doting father, it was merely a means to maintain some form of communication.

  “No, me neither. Shall we get on?” Andy suggested, grabbing a reel of cable.

  “Yeah, I suppose I’m gonna have to pull my weight, really.” Andy didn’t look to see his brother’s expression, but knew it would be all smug and sneering, before he continued with the rest of what he wanted to say. “Seeing as he’s asked me to be his best man.”

  “Oh right,” Andy said, keeping his back turned until he’d mastered his sincere face. “Congratulations.”

  “Thanks. I hope you don’t feel too put out, but I think he saw it as only right, me being the eldest and everything.”

  “Absolutely,” Andy agreed, handing over the coils of cable and turning away again.

  “Plus, he was my best man, so, yeah. What’re we doing with this, by the way?”

  Andy picked up the speakers and walked towards the stairs, indicating to Michael to follow. He wanted to laugh so much that he didn’t trust himself to speak, instead pointing to where he should leave the cable and trying to explain his lighting plan through a combination of hand gestures and strangled grunts. Michael didn’t notice a thing, and obediently went downstairs to retrieve another load of cable. Dan emerged from the large bathroom (there were four in total) and started walking over.

  “Don’t say anything,” Andy warned him, as Michael came back up the stairs. Dan grinned mischievously. “Seriously, or I’ll knock that grin right off your face.”

  Michael put the cable on the floor and brushed his hands.

  “Andy informs me you’ve told him the good news,” Dan said. Andy muttered something through gritted teeth. “What was that, bro?”

  “Nothing,” Andy snarled, picking up a light and carrying it to the far end of the landing.

  “As I was saying before,” Michael stated pompously, “I feel honoured that you’ve asked me, and I think it’s fair to say that although Andy’s obviously disappointed you didn’t ask him, he understands why.”

  “You don’t feel put out then?” Dan called across.

  “No, I’m just fucking dandy.”

  Dan put his hand over his mouth and gasped loudly, his daughter imitating the action perfectly.

  “Uncle Andy! Go wash your mouth out, right now!”

  Michael backed away. “I’ll err…just go and check that’s all the cables,” he said and beat a hasty retreat.

  Andy sidled up to Dan, trying to maintain a furious expression, but he couldn’t do it. He started laughing and put his hands over his niece’s ears.

  “You complete and utter bastard,” he said. Little Shaunna was shaking her head and making a sound that didn’t translate into words, but went something like ‘yai-yai-yai-yai-yai-yai’. Andy took his hands away and she grinned up at him. Dan patted his brother on the arm.

  “Just so you know, if I thought there was a cat’s chance of us ever getting married I wouldn’t have asked him.” Andy tutted and was about to pass comment, but the sound of Adele’s heels on the marble downstairs distracted him.

  “You’d best go and brief her, before she drops you in it,” he advised.

  “Yeah. Good thinking.” Dan went off to intercept, leaving his favourite brother to h
is lighting.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE:

  THE ATRIUM

  Given the size of the place, it was surprisingly crowded. Adele had invited all of her colleagues, customers and acquaintances from the gym, which accounted for upwards of forty guests; then there were her ex-colleagues from the department store, including Tom, who had been Dan’s friend long before his ill-fated marriage to Adele. He was trying not to feel bitter, but it was going to take a lot more than two glasses of Champagne, he justified, collecting another one from the bar. Kris saw him, excused himself from the conversation he’d been having and went over to say hi and generally offer a bit of distraction from Adele’s antics: she was currently on a circuit of the room, laughing outrageously and shoving her engagement ring in everyone’s face. Tom smiled quickly as she traipsed past him and out into the atrium to further tantalise people with her disgustingly large diamond set in platinum. It had cost Dan a fortune, but then he’d had a very, very long time to save up, and it was worth it to see her enjoying herself so much. Better still, she hadn’t sniped at him once all day, and was leaving him to catch up with Aitch and his other mates in the police, numbering around twenty, with wives and girlfriends; his other business associates, past and present, left the total number of guests just shy of the one hundred mark.

  Adele spotted Shaunna and tottered over to give her best friend an enormous, heartfelt hug.

  “You look beautiful,” Shaunna gushed, as Adele stepped back and gave her a twirl. She was wearing an ankle length, pale yellow dress, with the back of the bodice almost entirely cut away and a skirt that flowed out to a broad, swooshing hemline.

  “Thank you,” Adele beamed. “So do you, it goes without saying. And your hair smells gorgeous.” She lifted a handful of the shining copper curls to emphasise her point. Shaunna raised her eyes, pretending, as always, to be sick of hearing this, for she knew her hair was her best feature.

  “See you later,” Adele said, giving her a little wave and heading off into the crowd for more mingling. Shaunna waved back and put her foot up against the wall she was leaning on. Her feet were killing her. Across the room, George and Josh watched on, having previously discussed whether she was a) flirting, and b) aware that the man she had been having a much-touching conversation with for the past twenty minutes was not her type, in the same way that Kris was ‘not her type’. Now, with her knee pressing against the guy’s leg, George was absolutely convinced she was in full pick-up mode.

  “I think you’re wrong,” Josh said smugly. “I’ve seen that look on Ellie and it’s the shoes that are doing it.”

  “We’ll see, won’t we?” George said, moving away, his intention to get a formal introduction and clear up the matter once and for all. Josh grabbed his hand and pulled him back, spinning him so that he came to a stop with their lips less than an inch apart.

  “You do realise there’s a lot of people here who don’t know us?” George said nervously.

  Josh shrugged and let him go, watching as he made his way over to Shaunna, who immediately introduced him to the man she was standing with. George exchanged greetings and turned back to stick his tongue out at Josh. He just smiled.

  “Are you OK for a drink?” Dan asked him on his way to the bar.

  “I’ll come with you,” Josh said, and they walked together, sidestepping as Michael came past carrying a tray loaded with glasses of Champagne.

  “Does your Mike always look so miserable?”

  “He’s actually in a good mood today.”

  “Really? I’d hate to see him in a bad one.”

  “You probably will before the end of tonight. Maybe you could work a bit of your magic on him.”

  “Yeah, I think I might give it a miss. Two Jeffries brothers is already two more than I can handle.”

  “And we appreciate it. I’ve given you some shit over the years, Josh, and I’m really sorry.”

  “No need to apologise. I’ve given plenty back.”

  They both laughed, then Dan became serious.

  “Thanks, mate. For everything. I don’t know what I’d have done if you hadn’t been around.”

  They held eye contact a moment longer, then Dan broke away, instantly reverting to his usual self.

  “Andy!” he shouted across the bar. “Want a drink?” Andy gave the thumbs up and started making his way over. Josh stayed a little longer—just enough to bow out politely—and went back to find George.

  “I was right then?”

  “Yep.”

  “So who is he?”

  “Not telling you.”

  “Fine.”

  George wasn’t falling for it. “Jess is here, by the way.”

  “On her own?”

  “No. She’s with Lois, over there.” He pointed across the atrium, to where the two women were dancing away and seemingly enjoying themselves. “Rob’s disappeared off the face of the earth,” George continued. “Apparently he organised three different events, all for the sole purpose of ripping people off. Last estimate: he got away with about half a million.”

  “Jesus!”

  “Yep. He conned us all.”

  “I’m kind of glad he did, though. It was a good night out.”

  “Hmm,” George frowned dubiously, “if you say so.”

  “Well, I enjoyed it, anyway,” Josh said. He put his arms around George and tried to pull him close, but he resisted.

  “So, what’ve you been up to while I was gone?” he asked, avoiding eye contact. Josh backed off.

  “Not much. Dan was telling me how indispensable I am. I think he’s had too much to drink.”

  “Or maybe he’s right?”

  “Maybe.” The shortness of his answer was less about dismissing George’s reassurance and more to do with having spotted Andy and Shaunna, now standing upstairs, leaning on the banister and looking out over the room below. George followed the direction of his gaze.

  “I wish I could lip-read.”

  “I can a bit, and they’re not saying anything interesting.”

  Had they continued to watch a moment longer, it would have been a very different matter, because they had both gone up there at the same time, with the sole intent of speaking to each other away from everyone else, but neither had yet mustered the courage to do so. It was Shaunna who found her voice first.

  “We’re off the hook this time, you’ll be pleased to hear.” She kept her eyes steady on the movement of the lights as they flashed across the floor, up the wall and disappeared into the darkness of the glass dome above.

  “Right,” Andy replied quietly, or as quietly as was possible given the volume of the music and the fact that they were standing between two large speakers. “Thanks for letting me know.”

  Her gaze settled on Kris and the guy she’d been standing with a short while ago.

  “Who’s that?” Andy asked.

  “Ade-wee-an.”

  “Who?”

  “Adrian, his name is, but he’s got a pwoblem saying his ‘r’s.”

  Andy laughed.

  “He met him at work,” Shaunna explained. “He’s really very nice and seems to care a lot about Kris.”

  “That’s good. How do you feel about it?”

  “I don’t know. A bit weird, but it’s OK. I think I’m only bothered at all because I feel I ought to be.”

  “And Krissi? How does she feel?”

  “She thinks it’s the best thing ever, like having two dads, well three, including you.”

  “I don’t really count.” He wasn’t looking for sympathy.

  Shaunna glanced sideways at him and smiled. “Maybe not as Krissi’s dad, but you do in lots of other ways.”

  He turned and studied her profile as she continued to follow the trail of light chasing around the atrium walls. Every so often it passed across them, illuminating her full, glossy lips and transforming her hair into a vibrant veil of cherry-red. She briefly met his gaze and he turned away.

  “What I told you before,” she said, “you so
unded disappointed.”

  “I suppose I am, a bit.”

  She gave him an enquiring look. He shrugged.

  “What can I say? I’m nearly forty. I want to settle down, maybe start a family.”

  “You? Settle down? Where did that come from?”

  “Kathmandu.”

  “Blimey! Must be some amazing place, that Kathmandu!”

  “Yeah, it is.”

  Neither of them spoke for a while, comfortable with each other’s company, but with things still to say, and again, it was Shaunna who took the lead.

  “I’m not ready for another relationship yet, Andy.”

  “I understand that,” he smiled ruefully. “But I’m not getting into the whole friends with benefits situation again. It’s all or nothing for me, I’m afraid.”

  “Well, as I say, I’m not ready—yet—but who knows? Never say never.” She brushed her hand across his back as she passed him and then she walked away, back down the stairs and into the crowd. He spent a moment on his own, thinking over what she’d said, before he too returned to the party, hoping his mother had forgotten about her estranged granddaughter, however unlikely that was. He had seen Krissi arrive with Jason, so he knew she was here somewhere. For now, though, he was going to keep a low profile and see if he could get away with not having to formally introduce them.

  Jason was also having a hard time finding Krissi. She’d told him she was going to the bathroom, but that had been quite some time ago, and now he was standing alone, next to the buffet table, picking at celery sticks and poking them in the hummus, and he didn’t even like the stuff. A few other people wandered in and out, grabbing at bits of food and staying just long enough to eat, then leaving him with his own company. He was glad to be out of the lights, which weren’t likely to trigger his epilepsy, but he’d rather not take any chances. He was so deep in thought, wondering whether he should just give up waiting and go and find Krissi, that he didn’t see the woman come into the room, until she was standing right next to him, with a look of horror on her face. He smiled nervously and moved away.

  “You were there!” she gasped. Jason raised a worried eyebrow but otherwise kept his usual cool. “You were there,” she repeated. “The day Mr. Campion was murdered.”