Breathe Into Me

by Michelle Betham

  He took another couple of steps back but he kept his eyes on her, pulling a strength from somewhere deep inside to the forefront. He hadn’t realized it would be so painful, seeing her again. All those movies he’d watched her in, all those TV interviews – all those years of never seeing her like this, so close, and that wasn’t his doing. She was the one who’d made sure their paths had never crossed in almost a decade. The message she’d sent out had been very clear. And he’d got it. He’d done what she wanted, played his part. But in accepting this role, wasn’t she now sending out another message? A different message? It was confusing and painful but Lukas couldn’t ignore what might be happening here.

  He closed his eyes for the briefest of seconds, taking a long, slow, deep breath and when he opened them, he felt his entire world shift on its already unstable axis…

  ***

  Quinn’s fingers tightened around Harry’s, every single cell in her body screaming out at her to turn around, walk away; close that Pandora’s Box before it had a chance to do any damage. Yet, she knew she was going nowhere. Because that split second was all it had taken to make her realize just what it was she was fighting here – a losing battle.

  “Did you know he was gonna be here?” Harry hissed. Quinn shook her head, her fingers tightening even harder around Harry’s as her eyes fell on Lukas Drake, their gaze instantly locking. She hadn’t known he was going to be here, because if she had she would have made sure Aaron had come with her. She wouldn’t have come without him, if she’d known, and now she was thrown. She felt exposed, scared; excited, shit! She didn’t need this. Not tonight. She wasn’t ready for this, tonight.

  “You can’t be seen with him, Quinn. Not tonight.” Harry sighed, pulling her closer to his side, that urge to protect her kicking in again. “They’re announcing your involvement in the movie tomorrow, and that’s gonna be crazy enough, but if you’re seen together tonight… Baby, that is gonna start one shit-load of rumors spreading that we might not be able to control.”

  “It’ll be fine.”

  “Leave it alone, Quinn. Do not go near him tonight, kiddo. Jesus, I really wish you’d just walk away from the whole fucking project because I don’t think my nerves can take this.”

  “It’s all official now, Harry. Contracts are signed, deals have been done.”

  “And you didn’t think any of it through. I really should’ve stopped this…”

  Quinn suddenly let go of his hand, but her eyes remained fixed on Lukas. He’d gotten older, of course he had. They’d both gotten older. And it had been a long time since they’d come face to face with each other. But all age had done was make him even more handsome. His hair was shorter now, the way she knew he preferred it, and it was pushed back off his face tonight. His jaw line was covered with a few days’ worth of stubble, which she’d always found impossibly hot, and that mouth, Jesus, Lukas Drake had one of the sexiest mouths in Hollywood. And he always had managed to look good in a suit, although he only ever really wore them to events like this. Like her, he preferred the casual, almost scruffy look away from the spotlight – jeans, T-shirts, boots. That had almost been their uniform, back then. But tonight he looked heartbreakingly handsome in a dark-gray suit, white shirt and gray tie.

  “Quinn…” Harry started, a knot of nerves tangling themselves up inside his stomach because their stare was carrying so much power, too much power, and he’d seen first-hand the damage it could do. So he had to deal with this before all kinds of shit kicked up. “This is gonna be a frigging car crash…” He muttered under his breath, quickly stepping forward and grabbing Quinn’s hand, gently pulling her back before anyone registered the fact she and Lukas were almost within touching distance of each other. “What the hell are you doing? Break the stare, Quinn. Now! Break the fucking stare.”

  She was in an almost trance-like state, one Harry recognized; one he’d hoped she’d never fall into again. Shit! And he’d helped push her backwards. He’d helped put everything she’d worked so hard for in jeopardy. What the fuck had he been thinking? He wasn’t just her agent, he was her friend. Her best friend. He was supposed to care about her, not let her fall back into a situation that had almost destroyed her, once. He wasn’t supposed to be giving it a chance to happen all over again.

  “Come on.” He slid an arm around her waist and deftly turned her around, hoping that once the stare was broken she’d revert back to Quinn Baxter, movie queen. And that’s exactly what she did, much to his relief. Like someone had just flicked a switch she pulled out the smile, her eyes springing back to life; the woman she’d once been was back in the box. But Harry knew that keeping her there, that was going to be almost impossible now. He had a whole shit-load of problems heading his way, because if those past few seconds were anything to go by, Quinn Baxter really had just made the biggest mistake of her life.

  Twenty Years Earlier…

  Quinn felt him before she’d even opened her eyes, felt him pushing into her, rousing her from her sleep, his gentle thrusting almost hypnotic as she tried to work out whether she was still dreaming.

  “Are you going to make a habit of this,” she groaned, her legs instinctively opening wider as she stretched out, a delicious tingle traveling slowly upwards, intensified ten-fold by his fingers stroking her inner thighs.

  “You look beautiful when you sleep. All young and naked, and so fucking hot…”

  “So you thought you’d just help yourself, huh?” She couldn’t stop smiling, because she still couldn’t believe that this was her life now; that she was here, with this man. They hadn’t left Lukas’s house in almost a week, they’d very rarely left his bed, and as far as she was concerned he could take what he wanted. There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t give him now.

  He smiled back – that incredible, heartbreaking smile that only pulled her even further under. “I’ll stop, if you want me to.”

  “Don’t you dare.”

  He pulled her up so they were facing each other, her legs straddling him, his body still inside of hers, and once more Quinn found herself waking up to another day of hot sex and forgetting. She was letting Lukas Drake fuck away all the pain and the sadness and the reason why she’d had to escape, he was fucking it all away. She’d never completely forget what had happened, she just needed the pain to ease; for the memories not to hurt so much. She really needed that. She needed him.

  Laying her head on his shoulder she breathed him in, her fingers digging into his back as she moved against him, rotating her hips just enough to get the necessary friction she needed to bring her off, a warm shiver spreading right through her. It made her feel safe, this hibernation-like state she and Lukas had taken to since the night of the wrap party. They’d fucked in the wardrobe trailer, then left for his home here in Venice, Quinn holding on tight as they’d sped off on his Ducati through the streets of L.A. She’d never felt so free, so alive. She’d only had the clothes she’d been wearing with her, but she didn’t care. When she wasn’t naked she was wearing Lukas’s shirts, but she was mostly naked. She liked being naked. Lukas liked her naked.

  She stroked his back with her fingertips, both of them holding on to each other, just enjoying the moment, because they knew they couldn’t stay here forever. However wonderful these past few days had been, they had to step back out into the real world again. It was just that, Quinn didn’t know if she wanted to do that just yet. She didn’t feel entirely ready. She liked this little bubble they’d created.

  “I want to live inside you,” Lukas murmured, his hands sliding down onto her ass, his thumbs gently brushing over her skin. “I don’t know who sent you, Quinn, but I need you to stay in my life because I want to live, inside you.”

  Every inch of her ached for this man in a way she knew wasn’t healthy. For the first few days of shooting their movie he’d been like the big brother she’d never had. They’d gone skateboarding together, he’d tried to teach her about motorbikes because they were one of his passions; they’d spent mornings s
urfing and nights partying in clubs and bars she would never have discovered if it hadn’t been for him. They hadn’t so much as held hands, or exchanged any kind of glance that might lead them to think anything like this was ever going to happen – until that afternoon. That afternoon had changed the whole course of their relationship. Shooting that scene – the first time they’d appeared together on camera as the lovers they were playing – that had changed everything. What they’d done had changed them. And now there was no going back. She’d had a taste of a world that both scared and fascinated her, but most of all it excited her.

  “Did you ever want to run?” she whispered, her fingertips still languidly stroking his shoulder.

  He pulled back a little and looked at her, frowning slightly. “Run?”

  “From things you don’t want to face.”

  “Are you running?”

  She looked down, watching her hand as it fanned out over his chest. “I ran.” She lifted her head, her eyes locking with his. “But now I’ve stopped.”

  He reached out and gently stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. “Something happen back home, huh?”

  She took hold of his hand, curling her fingers around his. “Did you ever want to run, Lukas?” she repeated, their eyes still locked together.

  “Who hasn’t? At some point.”

  She smiled, kissing him slowly, burying her fingers in his hair.

  “What were you running from?” Lukas asked, her gaze dipping the second the words were out, but Lukas didn’t miss the sadness in her eyes.

  “A life I couldn’t take anymore,” she whispered, slowly looking back up, that sudden sadness now pushed aside. She really was the best actress.

  “Quinn…”

  The phone ringing stopped that conversation dead, although Lukas hesitated for a beat or two before answering it, as though giving her a choice as to whether she wanted to continue talking or not. She didn’t.

  Quinn climbed off him and he leaned over to pick the phone up from the nightstand. “Yeah?” There was just a hint of mild irritation in his voice as he spoke to whoever was on the other end of the line. “Yeah, she’s here…” He looked at her, and Quinn frowned. “You want to speak to her?” He held the phone out to Quinn. “It’s Harry.”

  Quinn’s frown deepened as she took the phone from Lukas and lay down on her side. “Harry?”

  “What the hell are you playing at?”

  “How’d you know I was here?”

  “Call it a lucky guess. And you might want to tell him to get an unlisted number, if he doesn’t want to be bothered on a regular basis, y’know, given that he’s about to become a major Hollywood star. As are you, so I’ll ask you again – what the hell are you playing at?”

  “I just needed some time out, Harry. These past few months have been crazy…”

  “These past few months have been nothing compared to what’s about to come, sweetheart. So, I suggest you put him down, and get that pretty ass of yours over to my office A.S.A.P., ‘cause we have a shit-load of work to do.”

  Quinn smiled as she felt Lukas move up behind her, his hand stroking the curve of her waist, his mouth kissing the back of her neck. It was all she could do to stop herself from moaning out loud. “Do I have to come now?”

  Lukas whispered something in her ear and she couldn’t stop the low throaty laugh from escaping.

  “Quinn? Jesus… What did I just say?”

  “Don’t I get any time off?” she asked, biting down on her lip as Lukas nudged her leg forward slightly, before pushing back inside her.

  “No, you don’t. You want me as your agent, you get yourself here within the hour, Quinn, you hear me?”

  “I hear you,” she groaned, reaching back to bury her fingers in Lukas’s hair as his hand covered her breast, his body thrusting in and out of her in a slow and beautiful rhythm.

  “Good. Now tell Mr. Movie Star there to hurry it up, shoot his load, and let you go. Or I’ll come over there and drag you off his over-active dick myself. Within the hour, Quinn. And no more disappearing acts.”

  “Within the hour,” she repeated before she threw the phone down, closed her eyes, and ignored everything Harry had just said.

  Six

  Aaron threw the script down on the bed and headed outside, raking both hands back through his hair. Walking over to the glass barrier that ran right around the deck, Aaron gripped it tightly, bowing his head. Quinn wasn’t an actress known for light-hearted romcoms or tear-jerking dramas. She was a kick-ass action hero; a fighter. Dark, edgy roles were her thing, that’s what she was known for, and she played those roles better than any other actress out there right now. People paid to see her push the envelope. Directors wanted her because she was never afraid to take a risk. She’d done a couple of romantic comedies over the years, one of them alongside Aaron, not long after they’d married, and she’d done them very well, but people preferred to see her with a gun in her hand; they preferred to see her fucking and fighting, and Aaron, he’d seen her do some seriously violent shit. He’d watched her take down men, bring women to their knees – he’d seen her have hard, rough sex countless times, up there on the big screen, and he’d been OK with that. They played pretend for a living. But this movie they were about to shoot, together – this one felt just a little too real. She was about to play someone who was going to become closer to Lukas’s character than his, and that meant scenes between the two of them that were probably going to start rumors he wasn’t sure he could handle. But he knew the way this world worked. He was just going to have to suck it up and deal with it. She was his wife. His. They had one of the strongest marriages in Hollywood, this was not going to do anything to change that. But something just didn’t feel right. Something was eating away at him, and he hated that he felt so insecure, this kind of shit was alien to him. Lukas Drake had treat Quinn like crap, in the end. But before that, in the early days of their marriage, they’d been happy, too. Really happy. He knew that. Everyone knew that.

  The doorbell ringing pulled him back from his thoughts and he walked inside, heading down the stairs to the wide, bright hallway, opening the door without thinking to check the security cameras first, which was unusual, for him.

  “You’re letting your guard down, aren’t you? I could’ve been anyone.”

  “You want something, Rita?”

  “Well…” She pushed past him into the hallway, placing her white Versace purse down on the table. “I saw that pretty wife of yours on TV earlier this evening, flashing that cute English smile of hers off to her adoring public. Without you. So, I thought, why isn’t Aaron with her? I mean, you were supposed to be with her, weren’t you?”

  “It’s been a long day, Rita. I didn’t feel much like going out.”

  “Lukas Drake did, though. He felt like going out.”

  Aaron frowned. “Huh?”

  “Lukas Drake is there, at the premiere. You didn’t know that?”

  Aaron felt his stomach twist itself into up a tight, almost painful knot. Had Quinn known Lukas was going to be there? Is that why she hadn’t tried harder to persuade him to go with her? Or was he just getting paranoid, now he knew what was happening? “A lot of people are there tonight.”

  “But no one’s gonna be interested in any of them once they get wind of the fact your wife and her ex-husband are there. Together.”

  “They aren’t there together, Rita. It’s just coincidence.”

  She raised an eyebrow as she walked over to him, reaching out to touch his face but Aaron was too quick, grabbing her wrist before she had a chance to make contact.

  “Enough, Rita.”

  She took a step back. Just the one. She hadn’t come all this way for nothing. “Come on, soldier…”

  “Don’t call me that.”

  He turned and walked off toward the kitchen, flinging open the double-sized fridge and taking out a beer, kicking the door shut again.

  “I always used to call you that, when we were together.”


  Aaron took a swig of beer, eyeing his ex-fiancée warily as he tried to ignore that tightening knot in his stomach. “We’re not together anymore.”

  “Oh, I’m well aware of that, honey.” She helped herself to a glass of wine from a bottle of red that was on the counter. “But that didn’t stop you from taking what used to be yours. Or have you conveniently forgotten about that?”

  Aaron grabbed her arm, almost causing her to drop the glass she was holding. “It was once, Rita. Once. And it was a mistake.”

  “You’ll never change, Aaron. All it took was one wiggle of those hips from Little-Miss-England and you were on her like a rutting dog with not one thought about me. We were still together then, remember? We were engaged to be married, when you were fucking your mistress, both on-screen and off.”

  “Jesus, Rita, that was ten years ago. We’ve all moved on.” He stepped back from her and took another swig of beer, leaning forward over the counter as a wave of tiredness swamped him.

  “Why didn’t you go with her tonight, huh?”

  “I already told you. I was tired.” But now he wished he’d been stronger. He wished he’d just sucked it up and gone with her, like she’d wanted him to. And if he’d known Lukas was going to be there… Just the thought of them in the same place together, in such close proximity, without him, it made him feel sick, but he wasn’t going to let Rita see how much it was getting to him. How nervous all of this was making him. He turned back around, his eyes meeting Rita’s as she leaned back against the counter, her expression telling him she wasn’t buying his ‘I was tired’ excuse. “Why’ve you really come here, Rita? You want us to make another mistake, is that it?”

  “I don’t consider anything we’ve done a mistake, Aaron. And you’re still one of the hottest guys I know, so, the prospect of getting back into your bed – you put that on the table, honey, and I ain’t ever gonna say no.”