Breathe Into Me

by Michelle Betham

  “So be together. That doesn’t mean you have to tie yourself down to the first man you meet.”

  “I love him. He loves me. He’s my whole world, Harry.”

  “Yeah. That’s what I’m worried about.” He threw back his head and sighed, allowing his sigh to turn into a slightly more frustrated groan. “Look, let’s just keep a lid on this for a while, all right?”

  “In case I change my mind?”

  “I didn’t say that, Quinn. Although, a bit of breathing space won’t do you any harm. I just think we’re gonna have enough to deal with tonight without throwing a surprise engagement into the mix.” Harry looked at her, his expression even more serious now. “You do know that what you two… If it ever got out, what you really did…”

  “The movie would just become a bigger box office success, and you know that just as much as I do, Harry.”

  “It was dangerous, Quinn.”

  “I know. That’s what made it kind of exciting.”

  “You two are gonna fucking kill me…” Harry laughed quietly, although, there wasn’t a great deal of humor in that laugh. “Listen, Quinn, is all of this…” He looked back up, watching as she slipped on a thick black leather cuff bracelet. “Is whatever this is you’re feeling for Lukas Drake, is it not because of what he did to you…”

  “What he did to me? I didn’t just go along with it because he told me to, Harry. It was my decision too. As far as the studio were concerned we were a risk, a big risk, a huge risk, because using me and Lukas – two virtually unknown actors in a movie with such a massive budget – that could have been a step too far. But we made sure that risk paid off.”

  “By having sex on camera?”

  “Nobody who sees that movie will ever really know whether we did or we didn’t, Harry.”

  “But you did.”

  She looked right at him. “Yeah. We did.”

  Harry exhaled long and slow. “Jesus, Quinn, you sure are one beautiful headache, honey.”

  “Causing trouble’s fun.”

  He smiled at her, leaned back against the sideboard and crossed his arms over his chest. “Best behavior tonight, though. OK?”

  She walked over to him, kissing him lightly on the cheek. “I won’t let you down, Harry. I promise.”

  Tonight the spotlight was going to be turned fully on Quinn and Lukas, and Harry wasn’t entirely sure she was aware of just how tough that was going to be for someone so new to all of this. And he couldn’t help feeling that Lukas could be, maybe, taking slight advantage of her vulnerability. Or was Quinn turning to him because she’d finally found someone who could take away the pain of losing her family, by creating a new one? All he knew was he just didn’t want her hurt. And as far as Harry was concerned, right now, Lukas Drake was still an unknown quantity.

  “Right, well, hair and make-up are waiting next door for any last minute touch-ups, and the cars are gonna be here in twenty minutes, so, let’s go do this, sweetheart.”

  Quinn looked in the mirror one last time, lightly running her fingertips over her forearm, her skin still tingling from Lukas’s touch.

  “Are you ready for this, Quinn?”

  She turned back around, a determined smile fixed on her beautiful face. “Oh yeah. I’m ready.”

  Seven

  Harry had succeeded in keeping them away from each other for the best part of the night, although it hadn’t been easy. Everyone had, of course, noticed that Quinn was at this premiere without Aaron, and that Lukas was here. Alone. And to get a photograph of Quinn and Lukas together after all this time – that would be something the paparazzi would kill for. Harry could only imagine what was going to happen tomorrow when the news of Quinn’s involvement in Lukas’s movie broke. But, so far, he’d managed to keep them from going anywhere near each other, but it was fucking exhausting. He just wanted to go home and sleep, because the next few months… Jesus! They were going to be tough.

  Tonight though, Quinn had managed to pull herself together like the professional she was. She’d had enough practice, it was just that she hadn’t had to call any of it into action for a long time. He’d hoped she’d never have to play that role again, but he’d almost made sure it was a given now. He’d thrown her head-first back into something he’d tried so hard to help her escape from, and he wasn’t sure he had the stomach to watch her go through it all again. Why hadn’t he tried harder to stop her from doing this, instead of giving in to her? Why hadn’t he done that?

  He looked over at Quinn. She was talking to one of the producers on this movie she was here to help promote tonight, and she was smiling, a genuine smile, even from where he was standing Harry could see it reached her eyes. A smile that reminded him of the day he’d walked into that sandwich shop on Sunset Strip. The day that had changed her life. And his…

  “Can I get you anything else?”

  Harry Franks looked up at the pretty young girl standing by his table clutching a notepad and pen.

  “You’re not from around here, are you?” he asked, referring to her English accent, and not one he was particularly familiar with.

  She smiled at him, and the second that smile had crossed her face Harry knew. He just knew. He’d found exactly what he was looking for. What they were looking for.

  “I’m from Northern England,” she replied.

  “So, what brings you to sunny California, huh?”

  He didn’t miss the way her gaze dropped to her notepad, the smile fading from her face as soon as his words were out.

  “I’m just following a dream,” she said, raising her gaze, her expression back to being bright and cheerful. “So, can I get you anything else?”

  She could get him plenty, but he’d hang fire on that for now. He wanted to watch her for a while, to make sure. “Just the coffee, thanks.”

  “OK.” She threw him another smile before she walked away, and Harry sat back, his gaze following her as she flitted around the restaurant, entirely comfortable in her surroundings. She oozed confidence for someone who seemed quite young, and quite possibly not all that familiar with what was probably a strange country to her. He was guessing she hadn’t been in L.A. all that long. An assumption, of course, but he was usually quite good at “getting” people.

  He hung around in the sandwich shop a little longer than he’d intended, but then, he hadn’t intended to find her, had he? She was the surprise he’d been waiting for ever since he’d started out as an agent in a town that could eat you alive if you didn’t have your head screwed on. He had his head screwed on real tight, and he suspected this girl did, too. He just had a feeling.

  “You still here?”

  He’d drifted off for a second there, and it was her unfamiliar accent that had pulled him back to the here and now. “Yeah. I guess I am… Listen, are you done here now?”

  She frowned slightly, and Harry suddenly realized that could have come across as a bit of a come-on. Which was the last thing on his mind, although, there was no denying she was incredibly beautiful. She just wasn’t his type. He swung very much the other way.

  “No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

  Her frown deepened, and Harry knew he had to rescue this situation, and quick.

  “Look, I’m an agent. And I think you’ve got something...” Jesus! What the hell was he doing? No wonder she was looking at him with an expression that bordered on pity.

  He sighed and sat back in his chair, raking both hands through his hair. He had one last stab at this, he reckoned, before he scared her off completely.

  “I really am an agent,” he said, hoping the look he was giving her was telling her he was being honest here. “My name’s Harry Franks.” He handed her a card, and she tentatively took it from him, quickly glancing down at it. “And I’d really like to talk to you. If you’ve got time.”

  She cocked her head slightly and narrowed her eyes, as though she were weighing him up, trying to work out if he really was telling her the truth or just throwing her a li
ne. She’d probably had a lot of those thrown at her in her time, Harry guessed. “OK, well, my shift’s just finished, and all I had planned for this evening was a trip to the grocery store and a night in front of the TV, so, I guess five minutes won’t hurt.”

  She sat down opposite him and leaned forward, clasping her hands together in front of her, her eyebrows slightly raised, obviously waiting for him to start talking.

  “You came here, to L.A., to follow a dream. That’s what you said.”

  “Nothing wrong with your memory, then.”

  He smiled and laughed quietly. “No. I guess not. Look… Do you have a name, sweetheart?”

  She waited a beat or two before answering. “Quinn. Quinn Baxter.”

  “Quinn… That’s a pretty name. An unusual name.”

  That’s why Quinn liked it. That’s why her parents had chosen it. Because it was different.

  “Listen, Quinn, this dream you came to L.A. to follow, I’m taking a wild guess here, but, it involves acting, right?”

  “I think you know you’re right.”

  “And I think you’ve probably been hit on more times than you care to remember by guys telling you they can make you a star, huh?”

  “Right again. I’ve been promised everything from A-List status to a house in the Hollywood Hills so big I’ll get lost in it from men just like you – as long as I sucked their dicks and opened my legs.”

  Harry liked the coldness in her eyes as she spoke. None of that shit fazed her. If anything, it seemed to have made her more determined, which meant she had a fighting chance of making it here. She quite obviously wasn’t going to take any crap.

  “I’m not like those guys,” Harry said, holding her gaze. “And that isn’t a line. You’re not my type, kiddo, believe me.”

  She smiled, instantly picking up on what he meant by that, and her body language reflected that realization; her shoulders relaxed and her smile became wider.

  “I can see something in you, Quinn, and I know that sounds like another line, Jesus, what isn’t going to sound like a line at this point? But I’m trying to be as genuine as I can here. In my line of work, you just know when something special hits you. And you hit me, Quinn. You hit me hard.”

  She dropped her gaze briefly, her fingers fiddling with her watch strap.

  “Grayson Studios – have you heard of them?”

  She looked back up, throwing him an almost withering look that screamed ‘Seriously’?

  “Sorry. Of course you’ve heard of them. They’re only one of the biggest movie studios in the world… Anyway, they’re casting a movie right now, a big-budget thriller that starts shooting in a few weeks and… Can I ask how old you are, darlin’?”

  “Nineteen.”

  “You been in L.A. long?”

  “A few months.”

  “OK… Look, I’ll cut to the chase here. I’m gonna get you an audition for the female lead in that movie.”

  She couldn’t stop the laugh from escaping, and it was Harry’s turn to frown.

  “I’m being serious here, Quinn. They’re looking for two young actors – and both the studio and the director have specified that they don’t want well-known names – to take the main roles. They want new faces, and from what I can gather they’ve got some kid called Lukas Drake lined up for the male lead… Grayson Studios are taking a risk, it’s what they do sometimes. They’re trying to find new talent, actors who can take this town by storm and… and that’s exactly what I’m looking for, too.”

  “And you think… you think that could be me?”

  He shrugged. “We’ll never know unless we try.”

  She laughed again, but there was a hint of nerves hidden in there somewhere this time. A sign that she was starting to take him seriously? “It all just seems a bit too good to be true.”

  Harry leaned forward, his eyes locking with Quinn’s. He’d already decided he wasn’t letting this one go, no matter what it took. She was auditioning for that role, if he had to drag her there himself. “Sometimes it is, kiddo. And sometimes you just get real lucky. Guess which one of those applies to you.”

  She held his gaze but stayed silent for a second or two. Hopefully to let everything he’d just said to her sink in. “OK, Mr. Franks…”

  “Harry.”

  “OK, Harry.” She shrugged. “What have I got to lose?”

  She’d had nothing to lose, at that point. She’d been a young, beautiful, and ultimately incredibly talented actress with the world at her feet. But if Harry could have seen into the future, would he have done anything differently? Would he have saved her from the shit Lukas Drake had put her through by never putting her forward for that movie?

  He looked over to where Quinn was still chatting to the producer, and he waited until the conversation came to its natural end before he headed over to her. He had to get to her before she had a chance to wander off on her own. He had no idea where Lukas Drake was now, if he was even still here, but tonight wasn’t the night for that impending reunion to take place. There’d be plenty of time for that at the studios – a much safer venue for that meeting than here, at the post-premiere party, where emotions could end up running way too high.

  “You OK?” he asked as he approached Quinn, sliding a hand gently on to the small of her back.

  She looked at him, throwing him a confused smile. “I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  She was seriously asking that question?

  “Maybe we should think about heading home now, kiddo. You’ve got that press call to get through at Grayson Studios tomorrow…”

  “I don’t want to go home yet. You can go, though. If you like. I think I’m big enough to be able to get myself into the back of the car when I’m ready to leave. I don’t need babysitting.”

  Oh, but she did. She really did. Tonight she needed babysitting. For the next few months she was going to need babysitting, and once filming was over there was the promotion circus to take care of and… Just the thought of what lay ahead exhausted Harry more than any gym session ever had.

  “Don’t say it, Harry,” Quinn sighed, giving him a look that told him she knew what he was thinking. But all it was going to take was for her to let her guard down for the briefest of seconds and everything she’d tried so hard to walk away from, she was going to find herself running straight back to it. And that would destroy her. This time, it would destroy her. “I have to face him some time,” she said quietly, absent-mindedly fiddling with her black leather cuff bracelet. Quinn Baxter didn’t do diamonds.

  “I know,” Harry sighed. “But tonight, sweetheart, come on…”

  “Maybe I need to get it over with. Before filming begins.”

  “You’ll see him soon, Quinn. At the studio.” When Aaron would be with her. A much safer option. “Tonight, it’s just too emotionally charged…”

  “And you think a few days is going to change anything?”

  He sighed again. He was fighting a losing battle here. He just had to trust that she knew what she was doing. He had to trust her. Because he really didn’t know if he had the energy to fight this for her now.

  “Be careful, Quinn. That’s all I’m gonna say. Just, be careful. The press have got wind of his being here, and I really don’t want to be spending tomorrow fending off rumors…”

  “We’ve grown up now, Harry. What happened, it was a long time ago.”

  “Not that long.”

  “Long enough.”

  He leaned in to kiss her on the cheek, giving her hand a quick squeeze. “I’ll see you in the morning. A car’s coming to collect you at eight-thirty. It’s gonna be a big day, Quinn. It all starts tomorrow, sweetheart.”

  “I know. And you really can take the kid gloves off now, I can handle this.”

  “It’s not just you I’m worried about.” He looked at her – his beautiful angel. His damaged girl. And he’d just thrown her straight back to the lions. “Take care, Quinn.”

  She watched him walk away, grateful that
he loved her the way he did, after everything she’d put him through. But she really was all grown up now. Lukas Drake couldn’t hurt her anymore. Those days were behind them, and doing this movie, that proved she was finally facing up to it all. To everything she’d locked away and pretended she’d forgotten about. This proved she’d finally found the strength to face him again. To get everything out in the open. To tell him the truth, no matter how painful that was going to be, for both of them. For all of them.

  She turned and headed off to the rest room. She needed a few minutes alone, just to get her head together, because it had been a really crazy kind of day. And maybe she was a little more tired than she’d realized, but she didn’t want to go home just yet. Another hour or so, though, and she had a feeling she’d be heading back to Malibu.

  “Quinn?”

  The sound of his voice, still so familiar even after all this time, made her stop in her tracks, and she felt her heart start to race and her skin prickle and she was just grateful the corridor they were in was quiet. Because now – now she knew she wasn’t ready for this. Not here, not now, not yet; not like this. She wasn’t ready. And she wished, with every beat of her heart, that she’d kept her head down, but she hadn’t. So when her eyes met his, of course her heart started beating even faster, until her breathing felt almost restricted.

  But she didn’t let her gaze waver once. She held the stare, still thankful it was quiet, grateful for the safety of the rest rooms right beside them; relieved that someone was looking down on them, sensing that they needed this moment to be private and secret but she was scared. She was terrified. She was beyond frightened. But she was facing a truth she should have faced a long time ago. She just hadn’t been prepared for how painful it was going to be.

  He gently pushed open the rest room door and peered inside before holding out his hand. And she hesitated, because this was it – the moment when it all came crashing down around her. She still had time to walk away, but what was the point? She’d never had any intention of walking away. From the moment she’d heard those rumors about Lukas’s involvement in Aaron’s movie she’d been walking right back toward him. Back toward this. She knew that. Now.