Volume 7 - The Intrigues of Suzumiya Haruhi

by Tanigawa Nagaru

  “Be sure to pass that to Haruhi, okay?”

  Tsuruya-san said as she winked at me, before laughing madly. Asahina-san had a stoic expression on her face, as she alternated her glance between the treasure map and me. Upon noticing that I was staring straight at her, she lowered her head.

  What’s going on? I wanted to question out loudly. What was it with the treasure hunt? Why was Asahina-san sent back to the past? Did it have any connection with the treasure hunt? I’ll be damned if it doesn’t. It seemed to me that this treasure hunt was nothing but good news, both to me and Asahina-san.

  “Ah, Kyon, take this umbrella. Be sure to watch your step, okay? Bye bye!”

  Tsuruya-san said as she waved wildly, before disappearing together with Asahina-san into that huge mansion of hers.

  All that was left was me, standing in the midst of the rain, with an umbrella above my head, along with a crumpled roll of parchment.

  For some reason, I wanted to take a shower, no, a bath. I felt a sense of immense loneliness. Was it due to someone as cheerful as Tsuruya-san suddenly leaving my side? I felt as if a ceremony had ended… or something like that.

  “It’s cold out here.”

  I placed the umbrella on my shivering shoulders as I started to pedal back home.

  Be it Haruhi, Asahina-san or even Nagato, each of them had the power to drive me nuts.

  “Gah, I’m hungry.”

  I didn’t meet Koizumi this time on my way back home. That’s too bad, because if I did, I would definitely do what he likes to do the most – talk.

  The day the other Asahina-san showed up in the broom closet, the clouds were already beginning to move far north. Today, the weather was pretty pleasant. It wasn’t too cold, but it wasn’t too hot either.

  As usual, I climbed up the slope to school, and due to the nice weather, I felt thoroughly warm as I reached the gates of North High. Compared to the usual weather, where I would barely break a sweat after being cooped up in a heatless class room, today was much better.

  After walking past the school gates, and promptly the school doors, I arrived at my shoe locker. Before opening it, I drew a deep breath. I had a strange feeling of foreboding. I knew that my “orders” from the future would continue, and so I dreaded opening the shoe locker. I knew that once I opened it, a letter would be readily awaiting me, a letter that was delivered by God-knows-who, during God-knows-when. But there wasn’t a choice, was there? I needed to open the shoe locker to change my shoes, after all.

  As I expected, there was a letter in there.

  Alongside two identical letters.

  “You can’t be serious, Asahina-san…”

  Once again, the letters were typed out using clear font. On each of the letters were the numbers #3, #4 and #6, along with the letters “three”, “four” and… “six”?

  “So does that mean the previous two were #1 and #2? And the first note was number zero?”

  But why did the numbers skip to six right after four? Where was number five? Was it a typo?

  I stuffed all three letters into my pocket, and charged towards the washroom. I was beginning to get used to this routine already.

  Inside the washroom, I opened each and every one of those letters according to their numbers.

  There wasn’t much time to the bell, so I briefly read each of those letters, before heading out of the cubicle, and looking straight into the mirror. From my reflection, I could see the weird expression plastered on my face.

  What in the world was Asahina-san (Big) trying to say? No, before that, what purpose did sending an unknown man to the hospital and moving an unknown rock have? I greatly wanted to know what would happen next.

  Wearing a mystified expression on my face, I entered the classroom, only to find a girl who couldn’t calm down waiting for me.

  “Kyon!”

  The girl that ran towards me while shouting out my name would be Suzumiya Haruhi, who was up until yesterday still in a fit of melancholy.

  “Hurry up and show it to me!”

  For a moment, I wondered what to show Haruhi, who was flashing me her million-watt trademark smile.

  “Don’t tell me you forgot all about it? That thing Tsuruya-san asked you to safeguard? How could you forget something so important?”

  The sudden change in Haruhi’s mood surprised me completely. There was absolutely no trace of melancholy left in her already. What happened to the melancholic, soft-spoken you that sat behind me yesterday? Don’t tell me that was an impostor I met yesterday?

  “What are you mumbling about? I’m always like this. Where else in the world would you find someone like me?”

  Haruhi said airily as she swept her hair upwards, smiling brightly at the same time.

  “Come on, stop fooling around. Let me have a look at that thing right now! If you’ve forgotten it, let’s hurry up and take a cab back home to retrieve it!”

  All right, all right, I get it. Just settle down for a moment. Everyone in class is starting to look at the both of us now. Geez, and here I was wishing for a normal school life.

  “Such a boring goal should be placed onto a paper airplane and flown down from the school roof. An attractive lifestyle or even a socially-withdrawn hikkikomori would be better than your so-called ‘normal’, boring lifestyle. And if you’re going to talk about your life, please do that only three seconds before you die.”

  I don’t think my life can be condensed into three seconds of speech, nor do I intend to live one that is able to. Sighing, I reached into my bag and withdrew the roll of parchment. Unsurprisingly, it vanished from my clutches two seconds later.

  Unwinding the scroll at superhuman speed, Haruhi asked me,

  “Have you read it already?”

  “No.”

  “Really?”

  Yes. From the moment it reached my hands, there wasn’t any intention at all to open it.

  “But it’s a treasure map, for crying out loud! Doesn’t the sound of buried treasure get you all excited?”

  What’s there to be excited about treasure that I know I won’t be able to find? All that awaits me atop that mountain is a backache, and if things are worse, a couple of bruises and sprains. What I wanted to hear was Haruhi’s reason for her excitement. All I had in mind while I pocketed Tsuruya-san’s “gift” was to hand it over to Haruhi. There wasn’t the least bit interest in digging up some ancient buried treasure. Truthfully speaking, I really wanted to tell Haruhi, ‘Hey, let’s just forget all about this treasure hunting business, okay?’, but alas, Haruhi was already busy studying the map.

  “Humph, Tsuruya-san shouldn’t have done that. She should have handed it straight to me, instead of giving it to you for safekeeping. Even though it would mean that I would be able to get my hands on the map sooner, I would have preferred it if she gave it to me as a surprise…”

  Haruhi said as she turned her back towards me and headed back to her seat. She then proceeded to take out her pencil case and textbooks to use them as paperweights, as she once again studied the map closely.

  I too headed back towards my seat, a renewed sense of curiosity springing up within me.

  “Hey, Haruhi.”

  “What is it?”

  Haruhi said as she flicked her eyes upwards.

  “How did you know that Tsuruya-san passed the map to me?”

  “Tsuruya-san phoned me yesterday.”

  Haruhi replied, this time not even bothering to look up at me.

  “You took Shamisen for a walk, didn’t you? You passed by Tsuruya-san’s house as you took him for a walk, that’s how she passed the map to you. It seems that Shamisen is feeling better already, that’s good news!”

  It was probably Tsuruya-san who had thought of that lie. I’ve never heard of anybody bringing a cat out for a walk amidst this cold weather, and to top it off, it was raining last night. For you to believe such lousy lies, what are you thinking about, Haruhi?

  I pretended to look serious, and acted as if nothing e
ven happened. Haruhi looked as if the school had announced that today was a holiday, as her eyes shone with excitement. “Look, Kyon, this must be where the treasure is buried! It says so right here!”

  My gaze fell on the map, which was lying on Haruhi’s table.

  The map was so old, it could probably be sold to a museum as an antique. There were numerous sentences written in black ink, before being signed with a large signature. I gave up trying to decipher the writings, as I looked at the drawings beneath it. There was a mountain, which was no doubt the one I had scaled yesterday, and probably would scale again tomorrow. The map was drawn using black ink, and was very simple, but it succeeded in describing the looks of the mountain perfectly. The words were probably written in ancient writing, but to me, it seemed more like an alien textbook than a map. I probably wouldn’t understand these rich pieces of literature anyway.

  Haruhi probably did, however, as she translated it out loud to me:

  “On this mountain, there is something very valuable, something that only my descendants may acquire. It is something that I am sure would make them happy. Whoever seeks the treasure, please dig here.”

  Beneath the text was signed: “15 Genroku, Tsuruya.”

  I had no idea which ancestor this was to Tsuruya-san, but he sure did a lot of redundant stuff. What was so important that it required it to be buried in the ground? If it was really as Tsuruya-san said, wouldn’t this be a great prank that escalated over the centuries? It was already several hundred years since the Genroku period. Surely someone in the Tsuruya house must have already dug the treasure up by now?

  “Where on Earth is the treasure buried?”

  Haruhi said to the uninterested me as she traced her finger all over the map.

  “It isn’t stated anywhere in here, and there’s no ‘X’ sign either! Even though we know it’s a mountain, we still don’t know where to search!”

  “Oh, forget it.”

  Haruhi looked at me, clearly stressed by the ordeal.

  “If we put our hearts into it, I’m sure we’ll manage to find it.”

  Who do you mean by ‘we’? Are you going to rally the townsfolk?

  “Of course not, stupid.” Haruhi said as she rolled the map back to its original state, before tying a knot and putting it safely on her desk.

  “It’s just the few of us, of course! You’re in charge of distributing the tasks. Or are you not satisfied with that?”

  If I really had a choice, I would have chosen to not participate in this stupid event. I didn’t even know how many tasks there were, or who should I assign each task to. Just as my heart was sighing, the bell rang, as the homeroom teacher Okabe-sensei stepped into class.

  “Meet in the clubroom after class.”

  Haruhi said as she poked my back with her mechanical pencil.

  “I want you to keep this a secret from everyone else. Let it be a surprise. When I announce my find, I want you to pretend to be shocked, too. If only Tsuruya-san had…”

  Haruhi’s voice began to grow louder, but her voice was drowned out by the sound of all the other students standing up and paying respect to the teacher.

  Someone please tell me how the heck do you pay attention in class! I’ll admit that I’m an easily distracted person, so if anyone has a way to memorize everything being said in class, please let me know. It doesn’t matter if it’s only half of what’s being taught, it’s always better than not knowing anything at all. I know that notes are the way to go, but even so, there must be some catch to being able to sit down quietly and take down notes. Anyone know the trick here?

  This is what someone once told me: “There’s no need to pay attention in class, all you have to do is not think about anything else unrelated to class,” or something of the sort. In other words, all I had to do was to not think of anything else. Since my ears would definitely be bored by then, they would have no choice but to listen to what the teacher had to say, and hence I would be able to understand what the teacher was trying to convey. It seems logical, right?

  Well, I guess it’s worth a shot. After all, the one who had passed down this sacred technique to me was none other than Haruhi herself and it was probably a technique from the long-lost Hiten-Haruhi-Ryu.

  The catch was this: I was fine with not paying attention in class, but it was almost impossible to not think of anything else, and even if I did, would life be happy that way? I don’t think Haruhi would want to lead that kind of boring, mundane life. As I started to gradually doubt her words, I suddenly recalled that her results were top notch, a huge contrast with reality.

  Trying not to think of anything else right now was plainly futile. Admittedly, I had one less problem to worry about now thanks to that scroll of old parchment. Haruhi’s melancholy had magically evaporated after receiving that old map, thus saving the world from huge blue giants was something that I did not need to worry about.

  What I did need to think about, though, were those three letters from Asahina-san (Big). It was something that concerned both Asahina-san (Future) and me, something that we needed to accomplish before the designated day. It wasn’t something that I could idle about, and even if I were to rush out of the classroom right now, it would be the first thing on my mind that I had to accomplish…

  Gah, with such thoughts in mind, how can you blame me for not understanding what the teacher had to say?

  After school, Haruhi forcefully dragged me into the club room, just like a fish being dragged away by a fisherman’s net.

  Thanks to Tsuruya-san, I couldn’t use Shamisen as an excuse to skip club activities anymore. And since I had no other matters today, I was forced to follow her into the club room.

  The orders from the future explicitly stated that I would be very free for today and for tomorrow. It was only the day after tomorrow, and the day after that, that I would be very busy. It was easy to see why. There were two days of holidays, followed by a Sunday, making it a consecutive three days without the need to go to school. And since there was an extra day that students didn’t need to come to school because of the entrance exams, it meant that I would have a long, four day holiday period.

  Time travelers seemed to like using shoe lockers as mailboxes. Was there a problem with handing the letters directly to me? I had many questions to ask Asahina-san (Big), after all.

  I had thought of the above problems while I was in class, and I hadn’t thought of a solution even as I now gradually approached the literature club.

  “Yo! Sorry for the wait!”

  With an energetic shout, Haruhi pushed open the doors to the club room, while dragging me by the collar.

  With an energetic shout, Haruhi pushed open the doors to the club room, while dragging me by the collar. For some reason, I felt extremely nostalgic at that gesture, as if I hadn’t experienced it in a long, long time. Perhaps it was due to my three days absence from the club room. Even if it was only three days, I had started to miss this place like an old exile yearning for his homeland. Once I entered the club room, I felt like I was finally back home.

  Trying to shake off these weird feelings, I closed the doors that Haruhi had conveniently left open, and looked at each brigade member’s face.

  The first person I saw was the sailor-uniform clad first year, who was sitting in the corner reading a book, just like always.

  Nagato looked at Haruhi and me with her expressionless poker face, before turning back to her book. No extra gestures or “welcome back” speeches, this was the Nagato I had come to know, the goddess silently sitting in a corner of the club room reading a book.

  “Hey, long time no see.”

  Sitting by the table and playing with a carom board all by himself was Koizumi, the one who always wore a smile, and whose words you never knew when to trust. “How’s Shamisen-One? If it’s possible, I would like to arrange for one of my friend’s relatives to see him. You see, my friend’s relative in question operates an animal clinic, and I’ve heard it’s a very good one.”

/>   Like I’m going to buy that. It’s not like the first day I’ve met you anyway.

  “Hmm, it seems that you’ve got many friends in various fields, Koizumi.”

  Koizumi gently flicked a carom piece with his finger. “That’s how legends are created, right? From the friends I’ve known, and from the friends my friends have known, the only friends I don’t have are…”

  Koizumi gracefully retraced his hands and said elegantly, as if rehearsing for a play:

  “People who are not native to this world.”

  Come off it. I’ve already known of aliens, time travelers and espers. With such a wide social circle, I really think I’m better off not knowing of any sliders, because the appearance of one would be sure to give me a headache.

  Koizumi gave me a soft laugh, signaling the end of our conversation. Even Haruhi had begun to turn her head in our direction in amusement.

  “I heard that there would be a meeting today.”

  “Yes, you’re right. An emergency meeting, for that matter.”

  Haruhi said as she took her place by the Brigade Commander’s table.

  “Mikuru-chan, tea.”

  “Okay.”

  With a pitter-patter, Asahina-san came running to Haruhi dressed in her cute maid uniform. It was Asahina-san, all right.

  Wait, that’s strange. Shouldn’t it only be natural that I see Asahina-san here at the club room? Hmm…

  “Erm…” I stuttered.

  It seems that I need some time to reorganize the cluttered thoughts in my brain. The Asahina-san standing here is different from the current Asahina-san sitting in Tsuruya-san’s house. This is not the Asahina-san from further in the future, but rather the Asahina-san from the closer future.

  “Erm… Kyon-kun…”

  Asahina-san said while clumsily filling the kettle with hot water. She looked at me with a look of concern. It was exactly the same look that the other Asahina-san had given me three days ago. Wait, that’s to be expected since they’re one and the same. Oh, what am I saying? I pushed those thoughts out of my mind as I braced myself for what Asahina-san had to say.