Year of Jubilee

by Peggy Trotter

  She barely dared to breathe, let alone speak. He adjusted himself by pulling up and putting his head on the back. She watched as he squirmed for several minutes.

  Finally she spoke. “Do you need another pillow?”

  “No.”

  “I have an extra.”

  Silence. Jubilee pulled the extra pillow from her bed and tossed it across the room, landing it right on his chest. He stuffed the fluffy wad in the crevice between the high back and the seat cushion, which seem to help a bit. His fidgeting ceased.

  “Have I told you how sorry I am?” His voice came as a mere whisper.

  “Yes.”

  A long quiet moment stretched between them, and Jubilee thought perhaps he’d fallen asleep. But then he spoke. “Did you like the dishes?”

  “Yes. Very much.”

  Again more stillness. Jubilee knew she had very little chance of getting a whole lot of sleep. Although she felt relatively safe with him now, this proved to be a nerve-wracking situation.

  “May I ask you a question?” she ventured.

  “Sure. I figure I owe you one.”

  “Who’s Rosemary?”

  The silence went on so long she concluded he must be angry with her, but when he answered his voice appeared low and sad.

  “She was my fiancée.”

  Jubilee lay there, her eyes searching the room, and pondered if she ought to ask more. But he continued on his own.

  “You should know the whole story. It’s probable they’ll be at church tomorrow. No sense in you being the only one who doesn’t understand what’s going on.”

  A few moments lapsed before he spoke, and Jubilee wondered if he were collecting his thoughts.

  “We planned on a Christmas wedding. Well, on the twenty-seventh, while all the family was still here. That very day, a note arrived at our front door. It was from Rosemary. Nothing but a brief note. She didn’t want to marry me and had left town”—he paused just a moment and his voice sounded strained—“with my best friend, Dale Harper. She and her parents had gone to St. Louis to arrange a marriage for them.”

  The story ended so abruptly that she threw a question to him without even thinking. “Did she not give you a reason?”

  He breathed audibly before he spoke.

  “Oh, yeah. Dale’s an accountant and would be better suited for her family and more able to keep her in the type of lifestyle she enjoyed, or some gibberish like that. Her father’s a steamship builder, as Rosemary was so kind to inform you, and he’d never been overly excited about having me as his son-in-law. Dale, however, had been working for him for a couple of years and is from a very wealthy family. I am, after all, just a lowly farmer.”

  She closed her eyes for a moment and prayed. Rafe, no doubt, still harbored some pain. “That’s why you bought the farm.”

  “Yes.”

  And why you married me. A ball of tears rolled up Jubilee’s throat. He couldn’t have Rosemary, so anyone would do. No more words were spoken and, after a few minutes, Jubilee could hear his soft even breathing, indicating he’d fallen asleep. But it was a long time before Jubilee, her face wet with silent tears, could drift into an uncomfortable slumber.

  * * *

  When she awoke the next morning, Rafe had already disappeared from the chaise, his blanket and sheet folded neatly at the end with the pillow on the top of the pile. Jubilee jumped out of bed, shucked her nightgown and pulled her blue dress from the peg. Dressed, she stepped to the dry sink, poured a bowlful of water, and quickly washed. With her hair braided and up, she was bound for the outhouse in two shakes.

  She heard several people in the kitchen, so she let herself out the front door without a sound, and swung back around to the backyard to the necessary. Outside, a fresh, dewy new morning greeted her, and by the chill and the slant of the light breaking through the branches of the oaks and maples to the east, it was still very early. She filled her lungs with crisp air.

  After taking care of business, she strolled back toward the house, pausing to admire the soft petals of the yellow, purple, and white morning glories sparkled with dew. She looked up as she wandered, enjoying the flickering shafts of sunlight as they splashed across her face. At the front steps, she hesitated and decided to sit a spell and listen to the sparrows and robins in the trees and yard. Even a noisy jay joined in. Finally, reluctant to break the beauty of the morning, yet knowing church time quickly approached, she quietly entered the house the same way she’d left.

  She padded up the stairs with nary a sound and opened the door to her room. There stood Rafe in his dress trousers, without a stitch of clothing to cover his torso. Jubilee gave an audible gasp. He’d leaned over to grab a shirt and continued that motion while Jubilee stared, mouth open.

  His slight grin grew into a wide smile when she couldn’t seem to tear her eyes from the expanse of his wide shoulders that nipped in nicely at his hips. Dark blond hair was sprinkled across his upper chest and continued down in a V-shape to his navel. His biceps flexed full as he pulled the shirt from the chaise.

  “Sorry, I thought I could finish before you came back in.”

  Her eyes left his chest and crept to his face, where his smile and raised eyebrows met her gaze. Her cheeks blazed.

  “I…I…” But no words came.

  In a panic she turned into the hallway and, in a noisy flutter, stumbled down the stairs and back out the front door, not bothered that it slammed behind her. She ran past the house and the morning glories, then stopped. She put her hands to her thudding heart.

  How long had she just stood and…stared? She groaned. Too long, way too long. The sight of his bare, naked chest seemed seared into her brain. Rafe’s sardonic expression, questioning her intense interest in his state of undress, haunted her.

  She groaned again and clutched her hair. Oh, she had to get away. She couldn’t face him right now. Where to go? Her head swiveled, her eyes lighting on the large barn. Quickly, she ran barefooted to the door and whipped it open. Inside it was dim, and dust motes drifted through the air. The smell of clover and dried corn comforted her. She spotted the loft ladder and was up in no time, settling into a pile of hay.

  Oh, dear heavens. She lay back and pressed her right hand against her forehead while her left twirled her skirt. She had made a fool of herself. An absolute idiot. Why hadn’t she spoken? Why hadn’t she closed the door? It was as if she’d lost the ability to move.

  She swallowed and shoved the heels of her hands into her eye sockets before pulling her knees up to stick her feet in the hay. Oh, my, but he’d been fine. Tanned and well-muscled from the work in the fields, and he didn’t seem to be in a great hurry to cover himself. She couldn’t get the scene out of her head. Never before had she noticed such a thing about a man. What was wrong with her?

  She continued to berate herself for several minutes until realizing she had to return to the house. They’d wonder what had become of her. They might even think she’d been in the necessary the whole time. Good gravy. Which was worse—everyone knowing she’d stared at Rafe’s chest or everyone knowing she’d been in the necessary for a half-hour? She hurried to the ladder, rumbled down the rungs and hastened out into the sunlight. Her feet slowed as she approached the house.

  What to do, what to do? She opened the back door to the kitchen—empty, to her surprise and delight. But as she neared the stairs, muffled voices from the back bedroom reached her ears. Sarah came out with a distraught look on her face. Completely forgetting the last half an hour, she went straight to Sarah.

  “What’s wrong?” Jubilee asked in a hushed voice.

  “Grandma Lou fell in her room about fifteen minutes ago. Rafe rode into town to get Dr. Dodd, but he isn’t back yet.”

  “Oh, no.” Jubilee covered her mouth with her hand. “Is she all right?

  “We think so. Her ankle is swollen and she’s shaken, though. I think Mom’s going to stay with her. Grandma Lou wants the rest of us to attend church.” Sarah started to walk away. “If
we do end up at the church, you better get ready. We’ll have to leave soon. I’ve gotta find another pillow for Grams.”

  * * *

  Jubilee wasted no time preparing for church after Sarah went on her errand. She chose Esther’s peach creation and quickly slipped it on, even though she knew Rafe had left. Later, at church, she twirled her skirt hem with her finger as Rafe sat on her right and Pastor Herbert stood up front, closing the sermon. Ashamedly, she’d hardly paid attention to one word, her mind so filled with her silliness this morning and with Grandma Lou’s fall.

  The congregation stood for the benediction. Pastor Herbert asked the Lord’s blessing on the food, and only then did she remember the potluck dinner following the service. And they were the guests of honor. Please, God, don’t let the day get worse.

  The congregation moved into the aisles after the prayer and many made their way toward them. Will and Sarah joined them, but obviously everyone was interested in seeing Rafe once again and meeting his new wife. Jubilee couldn’t even count the times she was introduced to a new person.

  Rosemary approached, oozing with confidence, with Dale trailing, a reluctant look on his face. They’d arrived late and Jubilee had failed to get a bead on her.

  “Rafe, I notice you arrived safely off that filthy steamer. So sorry about not meeting up with you the next morning, but I was exhausted from that chilling incident. A pure miracle we hadn’t drowned.” Her voice cooed. She shivered with a flash of drama.

  Jubilee tensed. She’d grown up in a dormitory full of girls. Cattiness was not unknown or lost on her, and she detested it. But she’d never seen it displayed at the level she now encountered before her. Rafe turned to face her, and Jubilee felt his body grow taut.

  “Hello, Rosemary,” he said. Looking beyond her, he greeted the man behind her with a nod. “Dale.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Jubilee’s gaze flicked to the handsome man behind Rosemary. At least he had the grace to appear sheepish as he stayed a step behind her.

  “Hello, Jubilee.” Rosemary’s eyes ran up and down her in a dismissive fashion. Suddenly the dress Jubilee wore felt like a rag. Rosemary’s red satin frock drew everyone’s eyes with its low cleavage, lace and beads. The garment was some creation, and no doubt the newest style.

  “Gracious, Rafe, you must’ve put her to work next to you in the field as dark as she is. With those expectations, you should’ve picked a sturdier wife.” A lilting laugh, high and delicate, trickled across the ceiling.

  Rafe lifted his head, his jaw clenching. But before he replied, Jubilee cut in. “I’ve never worked in the field. I tend the garden among other things.”

  Rosemary blinked and really looked at her, her eyes narrowing. “Yes.” She drew the word out. “Perhaps that explains skin dark as an Indian savage.”

  Dale attempted to interrupt at this point, but was smoothly pushed away by his domineering wife.

  “No,” Jubilee returned in a voice like silk. “I’m tanned because I’m outside under a hot sun. And I choose to do so without a bonnet. Rafe’s too kind and considerate to use me as a field hand.”

  Rosemary sniffed.

  The two ladies stared each other down.

  “Yes, well, we need to be off. Nice to visit with both of you.” Dale cleared his throat and towed Rosemary with him.

  Rafe turned to her and dipped his head, his eyebrows drawn. A ghost of a smile danced around his lips. Her face flooded with heat.

  “What a little bobcat you’re turning out to be,” he said softly, with a grin.

  Jubilee dropped her eyes. Why had she defended Rafe with such ferocity? Sarah approached, and Jubilee pulled her mind from the whole scene.

  “Was that Rosemary? Wow, she’s nervy. Oops, sorry.” Sarah grimaced. “She’s such…well, never mind.”

  Pastor’s voice rose above the hubbub. “Could we have Mr. and Mrs. Rafe Tanner outside, please?”

  As they made their way to the front door, Jubilee’s brain churned with myriad emotions. And it certainly didn’t help calm her when Rafe’s arm came up behind her back. She took a deep breath. This show was for appearances only, after all. Unfortunately, Rafe’s torso appearance still remained very much uppermost in her brain.

  Several tables had been set up outside and filled with baskets and small boxes. Jubilee caught her breath when she realized they were all for her and Rafe. Pastor drew everyone around, commenting on the large turnout to welcome the new couple, but mentioned his regret that Grandma Lou and Jennie were not able to attend. He prayed over the two of them, wishing them great happiness and many children, and asked God’s blessing on the food.

  Rafe and Jubilee, whose face now flamed, were invited to go through the food line first as the guests of honor. They were escorted, with their plates of food, to a new navy and yellow double-ring wedding quilt the ladies of the church had pieced together. Jubilee swallowed as she sat down on her patchwork pedestal. All this for a business arrangement. If they only knew.

  She had settled her nerves by the time everyone else exited the food line. The whole congregation seated themselves on blankets and quilts around the churchyard. Between her and Rafe, dead silence filled the air. Finally, she ventured a quiet question.

  “Don’t you think we’re misleading them?”

  Rafe looked at her then scanned the crowd. “Not at all. We’re married. We’re not telling everyone we are and we aren’t.”

  His eyes flicked to her face, and she glanced away. He moved closer to her, facing one way while she the opposite. She found breathing a little more difficult with him so near. He continued with his voice low.

  “These are really good people. Most of them have known me since I was a baby. They just want to help us out. Someday, we’ll return the favor.”

  He’s so close. His breath brushed her ear, and she trembled.

  “I can understand how this gathering seems odd to you, but this is what our church has always done. They arranged one for all my brothers and sisters as well.”

  Her throat grew dry when he laid his big, rough hand on her arm. She looked into those beautiful hazel eyes that couldn’t decide which color to be, contrasting sharply against his tanned skin. “They’re very kind.”

  “Enjoy it and be thankful.” His gaze moved slowly down her face to her mouth then back up to her eyes.

  Jubilee’s breath caught in her throat and she jumped up. Her breathing came like she’d run a mile. “I need more…lemonade.” She didn’t wait for an answer but sped off to the refreshment table.

  Thorns and briars. I’m behaving like an idiot. Finding excuse after excuse, she avoided going back to the blanket. The rest of the afternoon, Jubilee watched Rafe through her lashes. She glanced away any time his gaze swiveled towards her. Several conversations floated about her during the day, but she remembered very little. What she did recall was the way Rafe moved so fluidly, guiding his big, lithe body through the crowd, shaking hands with the men, dwarfing all of them, even his brothers, and throwing his head back to laugh during his conversations.

  * * *

  Rafe chuckled at a story Pete Miller told. He’d been an old fishing buddy of his from grade school. He missed spending time at the river, and Pete relayed a story of how his nephew had slapped him in the back of the head with a wet worm while they’d fished together a few weeks back. Rosemary walked by then, her brows drawn and her face an irritated mask, with Dale a half step behind, evidently the receiver of her tirade. They were too far away to catch their conversation, but from their body language it didn’t look like an enjoyable discussion.

  “You heard Dale’s building the finest house round these parts.” Pete motioned to the couple with his hand gripped around his lemonade cup.

  “No, I hadn’t.”

  Pete smiled. “Yeah, I guess everything is coming in special order. I don’t know how Dale will be able to pay for it.” Pete grimaced. “Sorry, I probably shouldn’t be telling you this ’cause, well, you know, your relationship
with her and all.”

  “Naw, no big deal.” Rafe smiled. “Marrying her wasn’t meant to be.”

  Rafe realized what he’d said rang true. He focused on Rosemary a moment, but looked away in case anyone should misinterpret his glance.

  She was beautiful, yes, no one could doubt that. Yet, looking back on his pursuit of her, he realized that perhaps he’d pursued her for the wrong reasons. She’d been a much sought-after prize. He’d ignored obvious signs indicating her difficult personality, so nearly impossible to please.

  Pete cut into his thoughts. “Well, good. Everyone knows she’s making Dale miserable with this house. Maybe that’s what he gets for sneaking around behind your back with her, huh?”

  Rafe’s jaw went tight. Yes, he’d grown weary of all the gossip. Remembering the deception still put him on edge. He glanced at Jubilee. She was opening the boxes and baskets at the table, her face wreathed in delight as she wiped moisture from her eyes. Everything delighted her. His lips quirked. Even his naked chest had caught her attention.

  Jubilee appeared delicate among the women flitting about the table, so graceful. But he recognized her strength. He’d learned what she’d endured, and he’d personally experienced the fight in her. Her body appeared much healthier now, and curvier. Her cheeks had a healthy glow that tinged pink when he teased her. He stood there and let his eyes take her in.

  Pete slapped Rafe on the back.

  “Well, all I gotta say is congratulations. I had my doubts after the rumor mill claimed you’d married so quickly after Rosemary. But even an idiot can see you’re gone over your wife. You’re one lucky man.”

  Pete walked off to the dessert table, and Rafe froze. Gone over Jubilee? Well, here he constantly stared at her. Surely he wasn’t…he couldn’t…no. It was just being home, and feeling responsible for her and such. He cleared his throat and caught her glance toward him. Her eyes darted away. He pulled his thoughts from Jubilee and strode to grab a piece of pie.