Year of Jubilee

by Peggy Trotter

  Bouncing Britta on her hip, Elsa brought up her other hand to point at Rafe. “You talk to her then you know.”

  Rafe sighed. Easier said than done. Surely Elsa, with her broken English, had misunderstood. He thanked them, turned to mount his horse, and made his way back to the farm. The weather was sure putting on a cold shoulder early this year, but his mind barely registered this fact. He pulled the coat tighter about him. His thoughts were wrapped around Elsa’s claims. Rafe let the horse meander to give his brain a chance to absorb this startling information.

  He chopped more wood when he arrived home, knowing the weather seemed determined to start off with a good cold snap. He glanced toward the cabin and where Jubilee worked in the garden, cutting the pumpkins, the last of the squash, and the rest of the fall produce.

  He wasn’t exactly sure how he was going to approach her about this whole ‘baby’ subject. And if this proved to be untrue, man, he’ll have stuck both feet in his mouth and a couple of neighbors’ feet to boot. He twitched his head in aggravation and set off for the barn to put some finishing touches on the jelly cabinet he’d started.

  * * *

  Jubilee placed the produce in the bushel basket, thankful for the thick cloak that draped her shoulders. Despite exerting herself in the cold weather, she still felt chilled. Perhaps it was a sign of a bad winter ahead. Or plain anxiety. She glanced toward the barn and watched Rafe swing the heavy axe over his head with ease. Her hand went to her throat and gathered the wool material tighter about her neck. Would he wait until spring to dump the bad news on her, or leave her right before the holidays?

  She sucked the frosty air into her lungs to clear her mind. Don’t dwell on it. Elsa said she was praying—albeit a bit left of center, but praying, nonetheless.

  Yet had she taken the time to pray for herself? Surely the Lord, in all His splendor, knew her true situation and what was best for her. Her eyes moistened, and she determinedly turned back to her chore. It was just too cold to cry.

  As Jubilee prepared supper, she dreaded Rafe’s presence, always on edge that he’d tell her their marriage was over. It made it difficult to enjoy the meal. Tonight there was a beef roast, potatoes, carrots and celery in the Dutch oven that had been cooking most of the day on the banked fire in the fireplace. While she busied herself with the gravy on the stove, Rafe’s three knocks sounded before the door swung open. His huge figure swept into the room, and he removed his hat before he approached.

  “Jubilee.” He nodded his head at her.

  “Hello.” Tension tightened her belly.

  He paused a moment, turning the brim of his hat around in his big hands. She ignored him and stirred, noting how difficult it was to keep her roving eyes from him. Surely he wouldn’t break the news while she blended gravy. A blue flash caught her eye and her gaze fell on the sapphire ring on her hand.

  From the corner of her eye, she saw him turn and hang his hat on a peg before stepping to the fireplace on the other side of the room. Her gaze flicked to him as he held his hands out to the fire. Jubilee gathered the plates and placed them on the table. With his back to her, she took the opportunity to scan him.

  His hair had darkened a bit with the changing of the seasons. The simple work shirt and pants set off his broad shoulders, hardened with labor, which tapered to his slim hips. He rubbed his big calloused hands together, hands that had effortlessly lifted her time and time again onto the wagon seat. Her stomach jumped in response, for his strength and form both lured and fascinated her.

  He turned slightly, as if sensing her gaze, and she spun to gather the rest of the utensils to set the table. She grabbed her potholders to remove the huge Dutch oven from the fireplace but found him next to her, taking it from her hands

  She took a quiet breath to steady her nerves before stepping back to the stove for the gravy. Did other women feel so useless and breathy when the man they loved came near? She’d never experienced this with Colvin. Never.

  “I’ll get the pan, too.” He approached with the potholders.

  She removed her apron as he carried the skillet, and then stepped back to an appropriate distance from him so her equilibrium could return to normal. At least as normal as it could be with him in the same room. Exhaling between pursed lips, she seated herself across from him. As had been their custom, Rafe grasped her hands before bowing to ask God’s blessing on the food. And although Jubilee wanted to gaze on him as he prayed, she dropped her head and closed her eyes.

  * * *

  He looked at her when he finished and gave a weak smile.

  “You have a good day?” He grabbed a biscuit from the basket on the table.

  “Uh-huh.”

  Rafe stabbed a piece of meat. This was not starting so well. “Get all the garden crops in?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  That again. Frustration clawed at his gut. Perhaps he’d need a more direct route. He filled his mouth and chewed, keeping his eyes on her.

  When he’d swallowed he said, “Talked to Elsa this morning.”

  That brought Jubilee’s head up. Her forehead puckered. “Oh?”

  He cleared his throat. This wasn’t going to be easy. Jubilee put her fork down and eyed her plate.

  “You see, I’ve been concerned about you.”

  Her eyes came up and searched his face.

  “You’ve been so quiet.” He shrugged and stabbed his fork into a potato but didn’t lift it. “I was wondering if there was something bothering you.”

  * * *

  She eyed him as he raised a bite of potato to his mouth and chewed, his eyes narrowing and watchful as if he were trying to read her mind. Oh, dear. He’d talked to Elsa. Praying Elsa, who’d mistakenly thought Jubilee craved a baby. She took a quivering breath. The problem was, Elsa wasn’t too far off the mark. She did want a baby, but she wanted Rafe’s love as well.

  “No, there’s nothing.” She grabbed for her glass, and it tottered before tumbling over. Water splashed everywhere and both of them jumped up from the table, rubbing water drops from their clothes. The water spread across the table and dripped to the floor. An apology leaped to Jubilee’s lips, but so did an immediate anger. She threw her arms down to her side in a huff, her hands clenched in fists.

  “Why? Why are you going behind my back, asking Elsa about me?”

  He looked up in confusion and a scowl crossed his handsome features.

  “What am I supposed to do, Jubilee? You’ve practically stopped talking to me. How else can I figure out what’s going on?”

  Her anger climbed to a higher plane. “You don’t have to know anything about me. We’re just business partners, remember?”

  Rafe opened his eyes wide and slung his head as he spoke. “Well, according to Elsa, you want a baby, and that’s more than business in my mind.”

  Jubilee gave a gasp and brought her hands to her face. She closed her eyes and shook her head. Elsa. Oh, why had she told him that? Suddenly, the uncharacteristic anger that had exploded from her dissipated and nothing but a horrible sadness rose up. She clenched her fists to her cheeks, vaguely aware that water dripped from the hem of her dress. He grabbed a napkin to wipe the front of his shirt.

  “No,” she said quietly, “she misunderstood.”

  Rafe’s movements froze.

  “So you didn’t tell her…that?”

  She hung her head. How could she lie to him? No, she hadn’t told her exactly that, but she did indeed yearn for a child of her own. She took a quivering breath. “Let’s…just drop this.”

  She rubbed her right hand wearily across her forehead. He came around the table, picked up her unused napkin and wiped the moisture from her face. A fervor burned in his eyes. From anger? Jubilee wasn’t sure. Then he moved to dab her throat, pausing a split second before moving lower. He continued until he’d wiped her dress down the front, ending at her dripping hem. Then he stood, tossed the napkin to the table, and reached forward to put his hands upon her elbows, pulling her closer.


  “Jubilee.” His voice thickened and her head came up. “We can do whatever you want.”

  His hands slid up to her upper arms, moving up and down in a gentle caress. Jubilee swallowed a lump, warmth cascading from his touch, mesmerized by the bright flecks of yellow around the pupil of his startling jade eyes. His words grew deep and hushed. “If a child will make you happy, I’m willing to do my part.”

  Jubilee barely heard the words he’d crooned as his face came closer. Softly, so softly, he touched his lips to hers, and Jubilee drew nearer to him until their bodies met. All the love she possessed for him seemed to blossom as she sighed against him, bringing her arms up to encircle his neck. Rafe’s embrace tightened at her response and the kiss deepened, awakening a shadowed fear in Jubilee. Suddenly, with all her might, she pushed him away and stumbled backwards several steps. They were both breathing heavily, eyeing each other with yearning and wonder.

  “Jubilee?”

  She took a shaky breath.

  “I…just need a couple of minutes.” Her voice warbled with emotion. When he didn’t move, she whispered, “Please, could you go to the barn for a few moments?”

  Confusion clouded Rafe’s eyes but failed to mask the light of desire. He shook his head before backing toward the door. “Okay.”

  After the door shut she closed her eyes and raised her face to the ceiling. What in the world was she thinking? She needed a couple of minutes for what? She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t…oh, I love that man. The power of the emotion snatched her breath away. She moved to sit on the edge of her bed, putting her hand to her breast. She ached with love for him. Absolutely ached.

  She had no thought of Rosemary’s letter at this point. Her only thoughts were of him and how wonderful it was to have his arms around her. And his kiss had been sweeter than the finest honey. Holy gracious, what was she going to do when he returned?

  Oh God, I love this man. What am I to do? Like a whisper through her brain came Esther’s wise words, ‘show him all the love in your heart.’

  Suddenly her chin lifted. She knew exactly what to do when he came back, come drought or high water. She was going to fight for her husband with all her being. Taking deep breaths, she rose and began removing her dress.

  At last she stood trembling in her thin cotton shift, a puddle of clothing encircling her ankles. Why is it so hard to breathe? Quickly she pulled the band from her hair and unbraided it with shaking fingers. She shook it free and it tumbled about her waist with thickness and shine.

  Oh, Lord. Of all the times to pray, but she couldn’t stop herself. I love Rafe so much. So very, very, much. Oh, Lord, how I so desire to have a normal, loving family with him. Please let the love he had for Rosemary be completely wiped from his memory and let him learn to love me, oh, Lord, please!

  Tears dropped to her cheeks and she quickly kicked the dress from around her feet and underneath the bed. She wobbled as she drew back the blankets on her mattress. Perhaps, if nothing more, she’d have his child to hold when he left. A baby to ease her broken heart.

  She walked across the cold floor and blew out the lantern on the table, throwing the room into shadows. With a tremulous smile, she noticed dinner still on the table.

  Thankful for late fall’s early darkness, she went to the door to wait for his signature knock, trying to keep her courage up. Surely if she survived life with Colvin and his abuse, she’d survive this night with the man she loved with all her heart.

  When the knocks came, she opened the door with quaking fingers. Rafe stood there, his eyes widening as he scanned her figure down to her bare ankles. When his gaze returned to her face, the light of desire burned brighter and he groaned her name. He stepped in, wrapping his arms around her trembling form. After exhaling a husky sigh, Rafe picked up her slight body, swung the door shut, and carried her to the bed to gently lay her down.

  “Are you sure about this, Jubilee?” he murmured in her thick hair, laying a sweet kiss against her neck.

  His warm breath on her neck sent tingles of desire through her and she arched to meet his body. “Yes.”

  With a moan he joined her on the bed and the two strangers, who’d been impartial business partners, became a true married couple indeed.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Jubilee blinked in the morning light. Her face seemed very cold but her body was snug under the double wedding-ring quilt. As she took a deep wakening breath, she wondered why she hadn’t banked the fire. Now she loathed getting out of bed.

  She closed her eyes and relaxed into the soft warmth of her little cocoon of blankets. A large hand crept over her belly, pulling her backwards against an equally bare chest. Then a bristled masculine face and sleepy sigh nuzzled her ear. Jubilee’s eyelids flew open.

  She caught her breath as the memory of the previous night swept over her. Allowing a slight smile to tug at the corners of her mouth, she remembered the sweet, gentle caresses of the man she loved. Rafe, who still slept behind her, snuggled against her warm body.

  His tenderness gave her yet another reason to give her whole heart to him. She basked in the heat radiating from his form. Nothing about their mating had frightened her. She pondered how such passion burned between them, with his affections set on his previous fiancée. Perhaps he wouldn’t ever love her, but maybe he could learn to be happy with her. Perhaps…no, she wouldn’t allow that woman’s name to come into her mind this morning.

  As she lay there, enjoying the closeness of her husband, she became increasingly aware of how late the hour was. Jubilee forced her eyes open and flicked her gaze to the strong sunshine washing through the window. Her brow puckered when she heard the cow lowing insistently from the barn. Then the unmistakable squeaks of a wagon pulling up the drive.

  With haste, wondering who rolled up to the cabin, she flung the blankets off and hopped around, grabbing at her shift to cover her chilled body. Her hand went to the wall below the peg next her bed, but her fingers moved through empty air. A flush covered her face as she recalled her dress had been discarded and kicked beneath the mattress.

  Rafe stretched and rose up on one elbow, the blankets falling away to expose his muscular chest, sprinkled with dark blond hair trickling to his navel. Her gaze made it to that point before she sensed his eyes on her. He gave a sleepy, wolfish grin. Her face heated even more.

  “Good morning.” That grin still in place, he raised an eyebrow at her thin shift. He patted the mattress. “The bed was much warmer when you were in here.”

  “Someone’s outside.” She ignored the longing to do just what he suggested. “And I think it’s late, because the animals are fussing.”

  His smile faded and his eyes went to the door, listening for the things she’d mentioned. Sure enough, the cow let out a painful bellow.

  She bent to grab the dress from beneath the bed and wiggled into the garment before someone knocked on the door. Rafe stood behind her, pulling on his wool pants before reaching for his shirt. A second knock sounded. She plaited her hair into a braid as Rafe strode across the floor to answer the door, buttoning his shirt. He swung his head back to check if Jubilee was decent before swinging it open. There stood Ivan and Elsa with baby Britta balanced on her hip. Oh, my, what a time for a visit.

  “Your cow seem hungry maybe,” Ivan remarked. “You have trouble?”

  Rafe cleared his throat. “Uh, no, I haven’t fed them yet.”

  Jubilee cringed at the odd look that crossed Ivan and Elsa’s faces.

  “You sick?” Ivan pressed.

  “Uh, no.”

  Ivan’s bushy brows came down in confusion. “You remember we kill hogs today?”

  * * *

  Rafe wanted to kick himself. How could he have forgotten he’d made arrangements to slaughter hogs with Ivan? But then, last night had been an unusual evening.

  “Yeah, yeah, come on in. Let me put my boots on. As soon as I take care of the milking and the feeding we can get started.”

  Both of them came in with
hesitation, and Elsa’s eyes went straight to the bed where the covers lay in a mess. Ivan turned immediately to Rafe, sat next to him at the table, and began a conversation about curing the ham and bacon portions of the hogs.

  Rafe ducked his head and concentrated on pulling the stubborn boots on while Ivan talked in butchered phrases. He couldn’t feel less like cutting up those hogs. Ivan paused and Rafe realized his friend had just asked a question. Rafe shrugged, hoping his gesture gave an adequate answer. Ivan began blabbering again, but Rafe found his thoughts wandering back to Jubilee’s soft skin. Oh, and her hair. Rafe suppressed a groan.

  By all that was good and holy, it was going to be hard to walk outta this cabin and pretend something life-changing hadn’t occurred between the two of them last night. He stood, then grabbed his hat and gloves. Doggone it. He shot a glance at Jubilee wandering toward the stove, Britta toddling close behind. Elsa’s narrowed eyes fastened to him.

  Ivan babbled some gibberish about the new smokehouse he’d built, and how he’d be glad to smoke the meat with the hickory and maple wood he’d acquired. Rafe was just short of busting him in the jaw to shut him up. He hesitated at the door, willing Jubilee to notice, begging to get a glimpse of her dark eyes.

  Their gazes locked as Ivan swung the door open. He tried to read the expression there, but she glanced at Britta who yanked at her skirt. Finally, not about to stall anymore, he pulled a smile and lifted his hand when her gaze returned to his. He hoped, for now, the gesture was enough.

  * * *

  The door closed behind the men. Jubilee’s cheeks burned like a hot coal as she met Elsa’s knowing face. She wiped her sweaty hands down her dress and approached her friend who clutched a bag filled with her knitting.

  “Let me make some coffee,” Jubilee offered, with a voice slightly higher than normal, and turned away from her guest.

  “You mind I add wood to fire?”

  “Oh. No, go right ahead,” Jubilee stuttered, having difficulty getting the stove to cooperate.

  A flame finally licked greedily around the round log, and Jubilee sensed Elsa returning to the table. By the time Jubilee turned, grabbed a bowl, and dumped in the ingredients for flapjacks, Elsa had sat on the bench. Jubilee raised her eyes a bit and caught her smile.