Letting Go (Vista Falls #3)

by Cheryl Douglas

  “Sure, I’ll have a gin and tonic.”

  Colt ordered her drink and another for himself before turning to face her. “So what’s got you so down tonight?” Focusing on her problems meant he wouldn’t have to think about his.

  “You know how many bachelorette parties I’ve been to in the last year?” She held up three fingers, waving them in front of his face. “When is it gonna be my turn?” She pointed at her bare ring finger. “When am I gonna meet a guy who wants to put a ring on it? Who won’t run the other way when I suggest he meet my parents?”

  “Uh, I don’t know. Maybe you just haven’t met the right guy.”

  “I thought I had.”

  “Yeah? What happened?”

  “Gabby.”

  Colt narrowed his eyes as he started to feel the effects of the alcohol. “What?”

  “Mmm-hmm.” She sipped her drink. “Dave and I had gone out a couple of times before he called me up and told me he’d started seeing Gabby. He said he was really into her and couldn’t see me anymore.”

  “Huh.” Colt didn’t want to think about Gabby being with another man even though she’d assured him she and Dave never slept together.

  Brenna glanced at the bartender and pointed at Colt’s empty glass. Before he knew it, he had another refill. It was his third—or was it his fourth double? If he couldn’t remember, he’d probably had enough.

  “Then I meet you. And surprise, surprise, you won’t give me the time of day either. Why? Gabby!” She rolled her eyes. “I swear, it’s becoming a theme in my life.”

  “Look, if you’re gonna trash talk my girlfriend because you think she stole your boyfriend”—he pointed at an empty table—“you best think about moving on ‘cause I don’t want to hear it.” He wouldn’t stand for anyone saying anything bad about Gabby. Especially after today. It had been one of the toughest days of his life, and as promised, she’d barely left his side. Gabby had proved she was someone he could count on. Now he needed to prove the same to her.

  “Fine,” she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she leaned on the bar facing him. “No more Gabby talk. Okay, you heard my problem. What’s yours?”

  “My father died today.”

  Her jaw dropped before her hand covered his. “Oh my God, Colt, I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you say something? Here I am going on about my trivial little problems, and you just lost someone you love. I feel terrible.”

  “It’s okay,” he said, using the hand she’d covered to grab his glass. “We weren’t close.”

  He suspected he should have been sad. His sister was. But he’d never been big on pretending to feel something he didn’t, and acting as though his life would be worse because his father was gone would have felt hypocritical. He wasn’t callous enough to say he felt relieved, but maybe his father’s death meant his mother could truly move on with her life instead of living in limbo—not really married but not yet free. Now she was free. They all were.

  “When’s the funeral?” Brenna asked gently.

  “I don’t know. Haven’t thought that far ahead.”

  Colt couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to say farewell to his father. He didn’t think the old man had had any friends. But his mother would want to go through the motions of a proper send-off, and for her sake, they would. And he would write the check… with a grimace on his face and bitterness in his heart. Because it represented one more thing he felt obligated to do for a man who’d done nothing for him.

  “Well, let me know. I’d like to come and pay my respects.”

  “Why?” Colt raised an eyebrow as he tipped back his glass. “You didn’t know him, and you don’t know me.”

  She shrugged. “It’s a small town, Colt. When someone passes, we all go to pay our respects.”

  He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose as the shelved bottles across from him started to lose focus. “Sorry, didn’t mean to be rude.” He was slurring now. He’d definitely had enough.

  Brenna curled her arm around his, leaning into him. He should have told her to back off, but forming words took effort and he couldn’t summon the energy.

  She reached across the bar for his room’s old-fashioned metal key and turned it over to look at the number stamped on the key chain. “Look at that. We’re neighbors. Why don’t I walk back with you? I’m going to call it a night too.”

  “Sure, why not?” he muttered. He didn’t think it was the best idea he’d ever heard, especially if someone saw them leaving together and reported back to Gabby, but it was innocent. Besides, he didn’t trust himself to find his way back to his room without a little help. He pulled out his wallet, tapping it on the bar. “Gotta pay the bill.”

  She smiled, taking his wallet. “Honey?” she said to the bartender. “Charge our drinks to Colt’s room?” She checked the key ring in her hand. “107.”

  He winked at Brenna before sliding a look at Colt. “You got it, guys. Y’all have a good night.”

  Colt sensed the bartender thought they were a couple or would be for the night. He considered correcting him, but when he moved his lips, nothing came out.

  “Come on, let’s go,” Brenna said, jumping off her bar stool while Colt tried to do the same.

  He stumbled, nearly knocking the stool over.

  “It’s okay, big guy,” she said, looping his arm around her neck and hers around his waist. “I’ve got you. Let’s go.”

  They passed the front desk clerk, who seemed curious but nodded politely and wished them a good night.

  Colt was grateful there were no elevators in this building. All the rooms were on one floor. He trusted himself to be in an elevator with Brenna without making a move on her—he’d never get that drunk—but he was concerned if she made a move, he wouldn’t have the wherewithal to fight her off. Now he understood why well-meaning friends advised girls not to get drunk and go home with strangers. Lowered inhabitations spelled the kind of trouble he definitely didn’t need.

  After walking for what felt like miles, while Colt concentrated on not bouncing off the walls while Brenna tried to hold him up, she finally announced they were at his room.

  “Thank God,” he muttered, leaning heavily against the door. “I can take it from here.” It sounded as if he had a mouthful of marbles. “I’m just gonna crash.”

  Brenna laughed as she fit the key in the lock and pulled him back so he wouldn’t do a face-plant when she opened the door. “Maybe I should help you get into bed. I’d feel terrible if you hurt yourself.”

  Probably a bad idea. But as he staggered inside, he muttered, “Whatever.” The bed was in his sights, and all he could think about was crawling under the sheets and forgetting this day had ever happened.

  ***

  “God, baby.” Colt woke up to Gabby’s hair blanketing his chest while she moved slowly down his body, dropping kisses as she went.

  It wasn’t until he sank his hands into her hair just before she reached the promised land that he had a flashback from last night. He hadn’t been with Gabby!

  His eyes flew open, and he saw a mass of red hair masking what he knew would be a familiar face. “What the hell?” He yanked Brenna’s hair harder than he intended, trying to get her off of him. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  Her smile was smug as she licked her lips. “Thought you might be ready for round three. If you’re not, I can wait.”

  Colt glanced to his left and saw two empty condom wrappers on the floor. “No!” He grabbed his head, pulling his hair as he struggled to get out from under her. “No, this can’t be happening. I didn’t… we didn’t…”

  But how could he ignore the evidence? They were naked in his bed with condom wrappers surrounding them. He couldn’t remember a thing, but that didn’t mean it hadn’t happened. Did it?

  “You were just gonna help me inside…” he said, racking his brain to try to remember what had happened after that. He was drawing a blank.

  “I know, but as soon as I closed the door, y
ou threw me against it and started kissing me. Next thing I knew, you were tearing my clothes off. It was hot as hell.” She grabbed her dress off the floor, holding it up by the broken strap. “See what I mean? You were wild.”

  That sounded like something he would do. He liked aggressive sex when he was angry and drunk.

  “For the record,” she said, tracing her finger down his chest, “I loved every second of it.”

  “Don’t. Touch. Me.”

  He glared at her, though he knew she wasn’t to blame. He was. How could he have been stupid enough to get drunk in a bar with a woman who’d already expressed an interest in sleeping with him? Sure, he’d had one of the worst days of his life and needed to escape for a while, but he’d intended to do it alone. He leaned forward, gripping his spinning head while she collapsed on the pillow next to him.

  “God, how did I let this happen?” He moaned as tears burned his eyes. He hadn’t cried in years… since the night he’d been forced to leave Gabby for the first time. “What’s wrong with me? Why do I keep screwing everything up?”

  “Honey,” Brenna said, touching his back gently, “I’m sorry to say this, but that ship has sailed. Forget about Gabby.”

  Forget about Gabby? That was like asking him to cut off a limb and pretend he didn’t miss it. “Not gonna happen.”

  “Fine,” she said, rolling onto her back with a heavy sigh. “What do you plan to do, tell her and beg forgiveness?”

  “I can’t tell her.” Any more than he could not tell her. He couldn’t live with that kind of lie between them, but if she found out the truth, she’d dump him faster than he could hit his knees to beg her not to leave him.

  “Okay, it’ll be our little secret.”

  “No!” He grasped his head tighter when it protested his shouting. “I can’t keep a secret like that from her. If she found out, she’d never forgive me. Besides, it’s not right.” If he found out Gabby had slept with someone else and kept it a secret, it would have destroyed him… then he’d have destroyed the guy who’d lured her away from him. “God, what am I going to do?”

  It was no-win situation with no way out. If he told her, she’d hate him. If he didn’t tell her and she found out from someone else, she’d hate him. If he didn’t tell her, he’d hate himself.

  When someone knocked on the door, Colt groaned and called, “Go away!”

  “Colt?” It was a feminine voice he didn’t recognize. “It’s Taylor. I’m sorry to bother you, but could I have a quick word with you?”

  Taylor. Rush’s fiancée. They ran the inn. Had she heard that he’d taken some woman back to his room last night? Was she there to call him out? Had she already told Gabby? Was his girlfriend already on her way to catch him in the act? He was so screwed!

  “You have to hide in the bathroom,” he whispered to Brenna. He jumped up, groaning again when the pressure in his head made it feel as if an explosion was imminent. “Here.” He thrust her clothes at her before scrambling to pick up the empty condom wrappers from the floor. He shoved them in the drawer, fearing Taylor might spot them in a trash can.

  “Relax,” Brenna soothed. “It’s not like it’s your girlfriend. Just tell her to come back later.”

  Colt considered that but feared Taylor may already be on to him. If she was, that would only make her more suspicious.

  “Give me one sec, Taylor,” he called, pulling on his jeans. He kicked his boxers under the bed, cursing softly.

  “Fine,” Brenna said, rolling her eyes. “I’ll hide out in the bathroom like your dirty little secret.”

  Colt knew she wasn’t happy about it, but he couldn’t worry about that now. He had bigger problems. He winced when Brenna slammed the bathroom door, but he didn’t have time for a pain reliever. Besides, he figured he deserved to suffer a little. Make that a lot.

  When he finally opened the door, Taylor’s eyes drifted to his bare chest and she blushed. “Colt, I…”

  “Sorry,” he muttered, pulling the shirt he’d grabbed off the floor over his head. “Come on in.” He wished he’d had time to crack a window. The room smelled like cheap perfume. But at least it didn’t smell like stale sex.

  “I won’t stay long. I just wanted to…” Taylor wrinkled her nose. “God, was that smell here when you checked in?”

  “Uh, yeah. I guess it was. I didn’t even notice.” He ran a hand through his disheveled hair. “I was pretty out of it, to be honest.” At her questioning look, he added, “Tired, I was tired. I guess I just passed out.”

  Before Taylor could respond, Brenna turned on the shower. Colt cursed silently, curling his fists.

  “You’re not alone?” Taylor asked, glancing at the bathroom door. Then she spotted the high-heeled sandals by the door. “But Gabby had to work this morning. She called me from her flower shop to tell me…” She shook her head. “Oh no! How could you?”

  Her disappointment in him was nothing compared to his disappointment in himself. “I don’t know. It was the stupidest mistake I’ve ever made, Taylor. I hate myself for it. But you can’t tell Gabby. Please.”

  “Gabby’s my friend,” she said, stepping away as she spread her arms. “She loves you. Why do you think I’m here? She called me and Rush this morning to tell us about your father. She wanted us all to be there to help you through this. When I saw that you’d checked in last night, I had to come and see if there was anything we could do for you. I never imagined”—she covered her forehead with one hand—“that you would do this to her. I thought you loved her.”

  “I do love her,” Colt said, fighting back tears. “I love her so much, Taylor. I can’t lose her. I’m so sorry about this. I don’t know how it happened. I just…” He knew he wasn’t helping his cause by making excuses so he said, “I hate myself for doing this to her.”

  “You have to tell her,” Taylor said, crossing her arms. “She needs to know.”

  “She’ll dump my sorry ass if I tell her about this,” Colt said, linking his hands behind his head as he turned in a slow circle, trying to calm his roiling stomach. “She’ll never speak to me again.”

  “Can you blame her?” Taylor cried. “How would you feel if she did this to you?”

  “I’d want to kill the guy!” When Taylor frowned, he admitted, “It would kill me.”

  “She’s going to feel the same way. I refuse to be a part of deceiving my friend. Either you tell her, or I will.”

  Colt couldn’t blame Taylor for giving him an ultimatum. In the unlikely event Sage ever cheated on Wes, he’d do the same thing. “I’ll find a way to tell her. Just let me get through the next few days first. I need to be there for my family as best as I can.”

  She nodded. “I understand, but don’t wait too long. Gabby deserves to know.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Gabby’s heart ached for Colt. Even though his father had been one of the least popular men in town, hundreds of people showed up to lend their support to his family. Yet Colt had barely said a word to anyone, including her. She tried not to take it personally, but it was hard when all she wanted was to help him through this and he seemed determined to go it alone.

  “You okay?” she whispered when the pallbearers, including Rush and Wes, stood to carry the casket out of the church.

  “Yeah.” Colt cleared his throat. “I’m fine.”

  She reached for his hand, noting his seemed cold and clammy. Understandable given the circumstances. “I’m here. Anything you need, babe. All you have to do is ask.”

  Instead of responding, he released her hand and put his arm around his sister, who was standing on his other side. Gabby tried not to feel slighted, but it wasn’t easy. All day and the previous night at the wake, he’d seemed to be pulling further and further away from her. She’d invited him to spend the night with her again, and he declined, claiming he was tired.

  The next few hours passed in a blur of sadness as Gabby exchanged muted words with friends while keeping an eye out for Colt, who still kept his distance fro
m her. He finally claimed the seat next to her at the luncheon his mother was hosting at Rush’s inn.

  “Hey, stranger,” she said quietly, smoothing the napkin in her lap while the waitstaff began serving salads at each table.

  “Sorry I’ve been MIA, Gabby. You know how it is at things like this. Everyone wants to express their condolences.”

  “Sure, I understand.”

  What she didn’t understand was why he didn’t seem to want her by his side while they did. He’d claimed to love her just a few short days ago when his father died, but now he was acting like a polite stranger. He was treating her like everyone else who was a vague memory from his past, and it hurt. But she knew it wasn’t the time to express her feelings. She’d keep her thoughts to herself for now and hope he came around when he’d had time to process his father’s death.

  They ate in silence, surrounded by Colt’s family, the minister, and his wife. No one said a word, as though they could all sense the tension and didn’t want to add to it.

  “Excuse me,” Colt said after the plates had been cleared. “I need some fresh air.”

  She reached for his hand when he stood. “Want me to come with you?”

  “No, you stay here.” His gaze drifted across the room, and Gabby noticed a girl who’d gone to their high school. Brenda or Jenna, something like that. “I’ll be back in a few.”

  She supressed a sigh as she reached for her water glass, trying to control the tremble in her hand. She had a sinking feeling that when the last mourner left, he’d impart the final bit of bad news—that he couldn’t stay. She didn’t know how she knew—a gut feeling, perhaps. But something told her all the sweet words Colt had said to her were long forgotten, at least by him.

  “I’m sorry,” Colt’s mother, who was seated on Gabby’s other side, whispered. “I know he’s been difficult since his father passed. I don’t think he means to be. I guess everyone handles these things differently.”

  “I guess so,” Gabby muttered, thinking she couldn’t imagine treating someone she loved the way he’d treated her. “I want to be there for him, to support him, but he’s not making it easy.”