Letting Go (Vista Falls #3)

by Cheryl Douglas

  As he flipped a switch, flooding the large room with light, she looked up, admiring the high ceilings. “Your home is beautiful. I can see why you were in no hurry to sell it.”

  “Thanks.” The house had been custom-built and professionally decorated. It had his personal stamp in every nook and cranny, which was why he’d told his realtor he needed a little more time to think about it when she came out to list the place. He gestured to one of two chocolate-brown velvet sofas facing each other. “Sit down.”

  “Thanks.”

  He chose the sofa opposite her, suddenly mindful of the fact he wasn’t wearing a shirt, only athletic shorts. Feeling self-conscious seemed silly since Gabby had seen him in much less, but he wished he’d had the foresight to grab a T-shirt before greeting his guest.

  “I know you must think I’m crazy for just showing up like this,” she said, licking her lips. “But I couldn’t do this over the phone, and even though I know I should have, I couldn’t wait ‘til morning. I had to see you tonight.”

  “Okay, you’re here. So you gonna tell me why?” He didn’t mean to sound harsh, but seeing Gabby again caused a physical ache in his chest just when he’d started to feel a little better.

  “I had a talk with Dave tonight.”

  “So? Why should that interest me?”

  “It was about you. And Brenna.”

  She was the last person he wanted to think about. “I have nothing more to say about her. You’ll never know how sorry I am for being stupid enough to—”

  “You didn’t do anything wrong. Well, maybe getting drunk with a woman who’d shown an obvious interest in you wasn’t the smartest decision you’ve ever made, but you didn’t sleep with her that night.” Their eyes locked, and she whispered, “You didn’t cheat on me.”

  His head was spinning already. “What are you talking about? We woke up together. Naked.” He cursed softly when he saw Gabby wince. He probably could have left out that little detail. “There were…” He couldn’t say condoms without making her feel worse. “There was evidence that we’d been together.”

  “I guess it was staged,” she said, raising a shoulder. “All I know is that she admitted you two never slept together.”

  “I don’t believe this,” he said, covering his eyes with his hand. He wanted to believe it, more than anything, but that would mean letting himself off the hook. He wasn’t sure he was ready to do that. “Why would she say we’d slept together if we didn’t?”

  “She wanted to stick it to me,” Gabby said, balling her hands into fists. “And she wanted you for herself apparently. Win-win for her.”

  Colt could feel the rage boiling up inside him as he jumped up and paced. His eyes landed on half a dozen trinkets that would shatter if he threw them against the wall to let out some of his frustration.

  “What are you thinking?” Gabby asked quietly.

  He clenched his teeth and his hands. His entire body felt like a rubber band about to snap. “I’m thinking about busting this place up, so now might be a good time for you to leave.”

  “I’m not going anywhere,” she said, raising her chin defiantly. “You want to act crazy? I’m going to be here to witness it.”

  When she put it that way, the urge to break something—namely his fist as he crushed drywall—dissipated. “I need some time.” He took a deep breath. “Why don’t you head upstairs? There are several guest rooms. You can grab a shower, maybe rest for a bit?”

  “Nope.” She shook her head. “I told you I’m staying right here.” She leaned back, crossing her arms.

  He wasn’t used to being challenged like this. When he needed some space, he simply took off. “Fine, I’m just gonna put on a shirt and go out for a drive. I won’t be long. I just need some time alone.”

  Gabby jumped up and crossed the distance between them. They stood toe-to-toe as she tipped her head back. “What you need to do is tell me how you’re feeling. You have every right to be pissed, but you need to talk to me about it instead of trying to run away from your feelings. That’s what people in relationships do, Colt.”

  “But we’re not in a relationship!” he roared loudly enough to wake the neighbors. When she reared back, he took a deep breath.

  She rested her hands on his bare chest, appearing tentative. “That doesn’t change the fact that I love you.”

  “Don’t do that.” He curled his hands around her wrists, removing her hands.

  “You don’t want me to touch you?” she asked, looking hurt.

  He wanted to feel her hands all over him. He wanted to pound into her warm and welcoming little body, to take his rage out in some way, but he wouldn’t use Gabby to make himself feel better. He turned his back on her and flinched when he felt her warm hands come around his waist and her head rest on his shoulder.

  “You can’t get rid of me that easily, Colt. Show me your worst. You won’t scare me.”

  “Really?”

  He turned on her so fast he was sure he’d startled her. He thrust his hands into her hair and took her mouth in a possessive kiss that stole her breath. He grabbed a fistful of the thin cotton sundress she was wearing and hiked it up. He had to stop, but he couldn’t fight that primitive part of himself that needed some release for his anger.

  “Take it out on me,” she whispered, pulling the sundress over her head. “You’re angry. Take it out on me like this.” She bent her head back, moaning when he kissed her neck. “Yes. Just like this.”

  The thought of angry sex with Gabby didn’t make him feel good, but she was offering and he couldn’t say no. He needed her too much.

  “Upstairs?” he muttered, popping the clasp on her bra as he lifted her so her legs were wrapped around his waist.

  “Will Nora be back?” she asked, kissing his neck before he boosted her higher so he could taste her breasts.

  “No.”

  “Then why go anywhere?”

  He grunted as he backed her against the wall. She was still wearing panties… but nothing else. He couldn’t wait to get inside her, so when she was balanced between him and the wall, he tore them off and tossed them aside.

  “Shit.” His breathing was labored as he dropped his head while pinching her nipples until she moaned, letting her eyes drift closed. “I need to go upstairs to get a condom.”

  Her lids popped open, and her eyes met his. “No, you don’t. I’m on the pill.”

  He’d never had sex without a condom, not even with Gabby. “I can’t. We can’t.”

  “Okay.” She bit her lip, looking slightly dejected. “Then go get the condom. I can wait.”

  He looked down at the incredible body wrapped around his. The heart beating against his belonged to the only woman he’d ever really loved, and she was offering him the gift of complete trust. How could he say no to that? He couldn’t.

  He pushed his shorts down, grateful for the elastic waistband that still allowed him some movement.

  “Colt, don’t do this if it’s not what you want,” Gabby warned, bracing her hands on his shoulders.

  “How could I not want to bury myself so deep inside you…” he whispered before taking her mouth in another hungry, demanding kiss. He slipped his finger inside her, gratified to realize how ready she was to take him. “Are you sure?” He rested his cheek against hers as he whispered in her ear, “You need to be sure. No regrets.”

  “I’m sure.”

  He thrust into her deep and hard, noting the oil painting beside them tap against the wall. “I thought I lost you.” He thrust faster, suddenly feeling the urgency to make her his again. “It felt like my life was over.”

  She watched him, saying nothing as he continued to use her body to get out his aggression.

  “And I had only myself to blame this time.” He felt the sting of tears mixed with sweat burn his eyes, but he welcomed the pain. It reminded him he was alive, that this was real and Gabby really was a part of him again. “I destroyed us.”

  “But you didn’t.” He was drivin
g into her so hard her breasts were bouncing with the force, but she didn’t seem to mind as she clenched him tighter, her eyes glazing over. “We’re still here. Still together.”

  “The thought of having sex with anyone else…” He groaned as he slammed his palm into the wall beside Gabby’s head. “It made me sick.”

  She gripped his face with both hands. “Then don’t think about it ever again. Think about this, what we have, how good we make each other feel.”

  “Baby, I have these demons…”

  “And I’d say we’re doing a pretty good job of exorcising them.” Her full lips formed an O, and he felt her pulsating around him as her limbs trembled. “This is real,” she said, when she was finally able to speak again. “Anger, frustration, sadness, satisfaction, love. All of what we’re experiencing right now, here together, is real. So whenever you need an outlet for your feelings, I’m right here, Colt.” She touched her forehead against his as he slowed his pace. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

  That promise was enough to send him over the edge, but his release wasn’t as frenzied as his thrusts had been, because it wasn’t about aggression and suppression anymore. It was about the freedom and relief he’d finally found in her arms.

  Chapter Twenty

  Colt woke up a few hours later with a smile on his face and Gabby curled up in his arms. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so at peace. They still had a lot of issues to work through, but he felt as though they were well on their way. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, telepathically telling her how much he loved her.

  “Morning,” she whispered before kissing his chest.

  “Good morning, gorgeous.”

  “What time is it?”

  He glanced at his alarm clock. “After nine. Nora’s probably made breakfast for us, if you want to head down?”

  “In a bit. I just want to enjoy this first.”

  He smiled, thinking he could lie like that all day and be content. “Me too.”

  “Last night felt like kind of a turning point for us, didn’t it?” she asked, looking at him. “We figured out a new way to work things out.” Her impish grin made him smile. “I like our new form of communication, don’t you?”

  He chuckled, tightening his grip on her. “I do.” He’d done a lot of damage over the years during his fits of temper, but he’d never walked away feeling as satisfied as he had after making love to Gabby.

  “Have you ever done that before?” she asked, tracing a path down his chest. “Had angry sex?”

  “Does it matter?” He didn’t want to ever again think about having sex with anyone other than her.

  “I’m just wondering if that’s a remedy that’s worked for you in the past.”

  “No, it hasn’t.” He’d never been as invested in any other woman as he was with Gabby. Being with her like that made him feel that no matter how upset or angry or hurt he was, everything would be fine as long as he still had that connection with her.

  “I’m glad.” She smiled as she tipped her head back to look at him again. “I’d like to think of myself as your healer.”

  “You are healing me,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “Every day that you love me helps to heal me. One day of your love erases another day that I didn’t have that love when I was growing up.”

  She swallowed as tears filled her eyes. “I’m glad. That’s what I want, to help you heal.”

  “I want to help you heal too.” He kissed her shoulder. “Someday I want to give you another chance to have that baby you lost, Gabby.”

  “I want that too,” she whispered. “When the time is right. When we both feel whole again.”

  He’d never felt whole before and didn’t know how long that would take, but he knew it would be well worth the wait if it meant he would eventually be man enough to give Gabby the kind of life and love she deserved.

  ***

  Colt was taking a shower while Gabby got to know Nora a little better. She really was a very sweet girl. Gabby had learned that Colt had hired Nora right out of high school, after her grandmother, who’d been caring for her, passed away.

  “I love living here,” she admitted with a shy smile as she passed Gabby a plate of French toast. “I lived in a tiny house with my grandmother all my life. When I came here to interview for the job with Colt, I felt like I must be dreaming.” She laughed. “I couldn’t imagine calling this place home.”

  “But now it is your home,” Gabby said, realizing Nora would have to find a new job if Colt put this house on the market.

  “It feels that way,” she said, pouring Gabby a glass of fresh-squeezed orange juice.

  “Thank you. Please join me,” Gabby said, pointing at the stack of warm toast on the plate between them.

  “But don’t you want to have breakfast with Colt?”

  “I hope to be able to have breakfast with him every day for the rest of my life,” she said, suppressing a contented sigh. “This morning I’d like to have breakfast with you.”

  “Okay, thank you.” Nora helped herself before sitting across from Gabby at the large rectangular table tucked away in the corner of Colt’s enormous kitchen. “So you and Colt managed to patch things up then?”

  Gabby blushed when she considered whether Nora had heard their marathon make-up session. “Uh, you could say that.”

  “I’m glad. I may be out of line for telling you this, but he’s been so sad since he got back. I wanted to help him, but I didn’t know how.”

  Colt was obviously very important to Nora, and while Gabby believed him when he’d told her nothing had happened between them, she wondered whether Nora had developed feelings for her employer.

  “You and Colt seem close,” she said, hoping Nora would feel comfortable enough to be honest with her.

  “He’s been wonderful to me. I have no other family, and well, I guess Colt has sort of become like my family.”

  “That’s nice.” Gabby considered Sage family, but she wasn’t sure if that was the familial relationship Nora was talking about.

  “I’ll admit I had a huge crush on him,” Nora said, staring at her untouched plate of food. “But he sat me down one day and explained to me why we could never be more than friends. He said he thought of me as a little sister.” She wrinkled her nose. “I was mortified at the time, but I realize now that it was for the best. As a friend and employer, he’s perfect for me. But as a boyfriend, he seems perfect for you.”

  Gabby couldn’t blame Nora for falling for Colt. It was hard to imagine any woman spending as much time with him as she had without falling for him.

  “Besides, I got the feeling Colt’s heart was never really up for grabs.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “He told me about you years ago, just after I first started working here.”

  “Really?” Gabby had always assumed Colt subscribed to the “out of sight, out of mind” theory, at least where she was concerned. “What did he say?”

  “Just that he’d been in love once but managed to screw it up by leaving when he should have had the courage to stay. After that, I watched women drift in and out of his life, but none ever stayed, because he didn’t want them to.”

  “Hmm.” Gabby wondered about the women who’d had a temporary stay in Colt’s life, but she didn’t dare ask Nora the questions she should ask him instead.

  “He told me once that he wondered what happened to you.”

  “He did?” She’d thought of Colt plenty over the years but never dreamed he’d been thinking of her too.

  “Yeah.” She smiled as though recalling the memory. “He cancelled a date because he felt like staying in. We opened a bottle of wine and stayed up talking half the night. I told him some of my secrets, and he told me his.”

  Gabby wondered if he’d told her about his upbringing. It hurt to think that he’d confided in Nora when he hadn’t felt comfortable sharing that pain with Gabby until recently. But she understood. They had just been kids back the
n and knew nothing about the importance of communication.

  “He told me that he’d never stopped loving you.” At Gabby’s sharp intake of breath, Nora said, “I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t be telling you this. But if I were you, I’d want to know.”

  “I do want to know.” Gabby looked up to make sure Colt wasn’t hovering outside the door. She wouldn’t want Nora to get in trouble. “Please, go on.”

  “He said that he hoped you’d found someone who made you happy. That as much as he’d wished it could have been him, he wasn’t capable of loving you the way he wanted to because he didn’t know how.”

  It seemed to Gabby he had learned how, but she wondered if he’d disagree.

  “He has such a good heart,” Nora said. “But I always got the sense he was afraid to let people get too close, like maybe they could hurt him somehow if they did.”

  Colt obviously hadn’t shared stories of his childhood with Nora. If he had, she would have had a better understanding of what made him tick.

  “Swapping stories about me?” Colt asked, winking at Gabby as he walked into the room.

  “Colt,” Nora said, jumping. “Now that you’re here to keep Gabby company, I think I’ll go for my walk. Unless you need me for something else?”

  “No,” Colt said, pouring himself a cup of coffee. “But don’t let me chase you away. Stay and have breakfast with us.”

  Gabby realized they’d been so busy talking they’d barely touched their food. “Colt’s right, Nora. Stay and enjoy your breakfast.”

  “You’re sweet to offer, but I’m sure you two have a lot to talk about.” As Nora stood behind her chair, she smiled at Gabby. “I’m really glad we had a chance to talk.”

  “So am I.” Talking to Nora had helped Gabby understand she wasn’t the only one who’d been holding on to the past. Colt had too.

  Colt waited until Nora left the room before he bent to kiss Gabby’s cheek. “Sleep well, beautiful?”

  “Better than I have in ages. You?”

  “Same.”