The Measure of a Man

by Carol Cox

  Judith waved her hand, dismissing Lizzie’s concern. “It’s just getting close to time, that’s all. It’ll all be over soon, and then I’ll really look pale after all those sleepless nights taking care of the baby.”

  Her words were intended to be soothing, but they had just the opposite effect on Lizzie. “Just how close is it? Should you be up and around right now?”

  This time Judith laughed. “If babies came exactly on schedule, it would make everyone’s life easier. Unfortunately, they seem to have a sense of timing all their own, no matter what date we decide they should arrive.” She shifted in her chair, sitting even farther away from the quilting frame than she had the last time.

  “As to whether or not I should be up and around,” she continued, “if I went to bed and stayed there until the baby came, I might wind up lying around for the next month.” Judith grinned, watching Lizzie’s wide eyes stare at her bulging midsection in disbelief. “Or he might make his appearance today. Either way, I’d rather be up and going about my business until he comes, instead of sitting on pins and needles the whole time.”

  Lizzie shook her head and went back to her sewing, wondering if she would be able to show the same energy and fortitude when it was her turn to become a mother. Lost in happy speculation about whether her children would have her blond hair and Tom’s cleft chin, she didn’t catch Judith’s next remark.

  “What’s that?” she asked when she realized her aunt had spoken.

  “I just asked if you’d been all right yourself,” Judith an-swered. “I was a little concerned when you didn’t come back to work on the quilt for so long, but Jeff said you weren’t ill.”

  The unspoken question hung in the air between them, and Lizzie searched for a way to satisfy her aunt without telling her too much of her cherished secret.

  “I’ve been fine,” she said slowly, “just very busy lately.” The answer sounded weak even to her, and she glanced up to see Judith’s reaction.

  To her surprise, Judith looked as uncomfortable as Lizzie felt. “Lizzie,” she began, “may I ask you a personal question?”

  “I guess,” Lizzie answered, flustered.

  “Have you been spending time with Tom Mallory?”

  The question caught Lizzie completely off guard and she floundered, trying to find a way to answer truthfully without saying too much. “I’ve talked to him some around the corrals.” That at least was true, if not the whole truth. She decided to take the offensive and ask a question of her own. “Why do you ask?”

  Judith rubbed her hand slowly across her abdomen several times before she spoke. “I’m not sure how to say this, dear, and I don’t want to give offense. It’s just that Jeff—well, Jeff has some real concerns about him, and we hoped you weren’t. . .getting involved with him, that’s all.”

  Lizzie’s eyes widened, and Judith fluttered her hand and laughed nervously. “That didn’t come out quite the way I meant to say it.” She took a deep breath and started again. “Jeff was out the other day and heard some shooting. When he rode over to investigate, he found Tom Mallory practicing a fast draw.” Her expression grew sober. “Jeff said he was good. Very good.”

  Lizzie felt giddy with relief. “Is that all?” she asked lightly. “It sounded like you thought he was a criminal of some kind,” she explained, seeing her aunt’s startled look.

  Judith opened and closed her mouth several times, as if choosing and discarding the words to say next. “But Lizzie, honey, law-abiding people don’t go around practicing a fast draw. That’s for gunfighters and ruffians.”

  “No, really, it’s all right,” Lizzie countered. “Tom’s told me all about it. He got involved in a gun fight when he was fifteen. Some drunken bullies were tormenting a poor old man, and Tom stepped in to stop them. They pulled their guns and threatened both him and the old man, and Tom managed to wound the leader and scare the rest of them off before they fired a single shot. He did all that when he was only fifteen. Imagine that!

  “Since then there have been other times when the same kind of thing happened. Tom says it’s like a gift he has. He’s just good with a gun. If he hadn’t been there, goodness knows what would have happened.

  “And as far as practicing goes,” she went on, “once someone gets the reputation of being fast on the draw there will always be others who come along, trying to prove they’re faster. He has to practice, just to make sure he keeps his speed up. He does it to protect himself.”

  Judith, looking unconvinced, bent over her needlework once more. After a moment, Lizzie followed suit. Doesn’t she understand? she wondered. It’s really so simple.

  They stitched in silence for a time, with part of Lizzie’s mind focused on the job at hand and part wondering whether she would see Tom again the next day.

  Judith broke the silence. “Is he anything special to you, Lizzie?” she asked quietly, gaze still fixed on her moving needle.

  The need to share her news with someone overcame Lizzie’s caution, and the words fairly gushed forth from her.

  “I think he is,” she confided, trying to maintain some degree of calm. She searched her aunt’s face but couldn’t gauge her reaction.

  “He’s kind, he’s a gentleman, and. . .and he really seems to think I’m special, too,” she said softly, remembering his kiss with a blush. “I guess you could say he’s pretty special.” She wondered if the joy that welled up inside her at the opportunity to speak of him showed in her eyes. She felt as if it lit up her whole being.

  Judith drew a long, cautious breath before she spoke again. “What about the gunfighting?” she asked. “Doesn’t that concern you?”

  Lizzie sighed impatiently. “I told you, it’s all been to help other people. Kind of like the knights of old in the books we read together when I was a little girl. They had to fight, too, but it was always to help someone else. People looked up to them then; why can’t they appreciate Tom now?”

  Judith nodded slowly, as if trying to understand. “Has he ever. . .made advances to you?”

  “No!” Lizzie responded hotly. “I told you, he’s been a perfect gentleman.” The kiss, she told herself, didn’t count. Tom hadn’t forced himself upon her at all. “A gentleman in every way,” she said emphatically.

  “All right, honey,” Judith said gently. “I didn’t mean to imply anything else, or pry, for that matter. It’s just that Jeff and I care so much for you, and we don’t want you to be hurt. You’ve led a pretty sheltered life here all these years, you know.”

  “ ‘Sheltered’ is right!” Lizzie replied with a vehemence she hadn’t known she possessed until that moment. “I’ve hardly been anywhere or done anything, and Tom’s done so much!”

  “I wouldn’t say you haven’t gone anywhere,” Judith argued. “There have been quite a few trips with your father to Santa Fe, as I recall, where you’ve met some pretty influential people. And what about your trip back East? You certainly saw a lot then.”

  “Oh, that,” Lizzie said airily. “That doesn’t count. I was only a child then, Aunt Judith, a little girl! And I’m not a little girl anymore,” she said firmly. “When I hear about the places Tom’s been—and on his own, not traipsing along holding on to a grownup’s hand—it makes me realize how little I’ve done with my life.” She sighed. “I want to do more, and I don’t want to wait much longer to do it.”

  Judith sat staring at her for a long moment, then pressed her lips together and glanced down at the quilt. “Look at that,” she said, fastening her thread and breaking it off. “It’s finished!”

  “Let’s spread it out and look at the whole thing,” Lizzie said eagerly, forgetting her restlessness. Together they removed the quilt from the frame and carried it into Judith and Jeff’s bedroom, where they spread it lovingly across the bed.

  “It’s beautiful,” Lizzie said with a happy sigh. Then she looked up at her aunt, frowning. “Isn’t it?”

  Judith laughed as though the earlier tension had never been. “It is indeed. Your mother w
ill love it. Do you want to take it home with you today?”

  “If it’s all right with you, I’d like to leave it here until Mama’s birthday. We’ve kept it a secret so long, I’d hate for her to find out about it ahead of time by accident.”

  Judith nodded her agreement and they folded it carefully and placed it inside Judith’s cedar chest.

  “Would you like a cup of tea?” Judith offered.

  Lizzie shook her head. “I’d better start for home,” she said, eyeing the clouds through the window. “I don’t want to get caught in the rain.”

  Judith walked her to the door and stood sniffing the rain-scented breeze. “I don’t think you’re leaving a minute too soon,” she agreed. “I’m glad we’ve finished that quilt. Now I can let the baby come with a clear conscience.”

  Lizzie laughed. “As if you had much choice in the matter!” She started to leave, then turned back and hugged her aunt fondly. “I want you to know you were right.” Judith’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

  “About what you said about God working out His plan for my life,” Lizzie explained. “I read my Bible and prayed, and it’s all coming together, just like you said. It’s like my own little miracle!” She gave Judith a swift kiss on the cheek and trotted off to the barn to retrieve Dancer, unaware of the troubled look that clouded her aunt’s eyes.

  nine

  Adam and Jeff leaned over the papers strewn across Jeff’s dining table, talking in low voices and making occasional corrections to the sheets full of figures and diagrams. At the end of an hour, Jeff gave a mighty stretch and stood, rubbing the back of his neck. “How about a break?” he suggested. “I’ll go see if Judith’s got some coffee on the stove.”

  Adam nodded agreement, but continued adding to the sketch on the sheet before him. He kneaded the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, as if he could rub away his exhaustion.

  He was pleased with his plans, and even more pleased that Jeff had volunteered to help him work on them. Being able to bounce ideas back and forth had given him confidence in most of his thoughts, and had shown him how to shore up the weaknesses in others. He’d be glad when this particular phase of the project was over, though. He was made for physical action, not this paper and pencil business.

  He laid down his well-chewed pencil and walked across the room to look out the window, massaging the tight muscles in his neck. Was this all going to be worth it? Would it be everything he anticipated? He surely hoped so. God seemed to be giving him the go-ahead, so all he knew to do was keep on until he sensed a check in his plans.

  Turning, he surveyed the room with pleasure. The heavy wood table, flanked by six sturdy chairs, dominated the center of the room. Knickknacks on the equally heavy sideboard and a pair of framed paintings on the wall provided a balance. It wasn’t too frilly and feminine, but neither was it overwhelmingly masculine; it was a thoroughly well-designed room, he decided.

  Jeff had built this home for Judith when they were first married, wanting, in spite of his close relationship to his brother and Abby, to keep enough distance between them that his own family could flourish on their own. He had done a good job, Adam thought with approval. It was a home large enough to house a growing family, along with all the love and laughter they could produce. The kind of home he wanted to make for Lizzie. . . .

  And that’s what it all came down to. Adam brushed a wave of hair out of his eyes and scooped up the notes and drawings, arranging them in neat stacks and wishing he could bring similar order to his thoughts.

  He had known how he felt about Lizzie Bradley for ages. He’d worked and saved his money like a miser, waiting for the time he could have something good enough to offer her. Until the prospect of owning his own ranch had opened up, the likelihood of achieving that goal had seemed like a distant dream.

  Now that his long-held goal looked as if it were about to become reality, he had to remind himself that Lizzie needed time to catch up to his desires. Adam was painfully aware that Lizzie had long considered him a comfortable part of the background—always there, but of little personal interest to her. Up until recently, though, he had thought his chances of catching her interest would be pretty good when the time was right.

  Up until the intrusion of Tom Mallory, that is.

  Now Lizzie was more distant than ever. Distant, dreamy, and to all appearances, utterly captivated by Tom. Adam clenched his teeth together. Why did he have to show up now? And why here, of all places?

  Jeff appeared in the doorway, holding a fragrant mug of coffee in each hand and balancing a plate on one arm. “I raided the pantry and came up with some of Judith’s oatmeal cookies,” he said, grinning as he maneuvered plate and mugs onto the table.

  Adam took his mug and sipped gratefully, savoring the feel of the scalding liquid coursing its way down his throat. “That wife of yours sure knows how to make coffee.”

  Jeff nodded smugly. “I trained her well.”

  “I heard that!” Judith’s voice rang out from the kitchen, and Jeff moved to close the door, grinning sheepishly.

  Adam enjoyed watching the byplay between these two. It was just the right blend of tenderness and playfulness. Just what he hoped for himself in a relationship with a wife. In a relationship with Lizzie. “You okay?” Jeff looked at Adam over the rim of his coffee mug.

  Adam shook himself mentally, aware he had slipped into a daze. Keep your mind on the business at hand, he cautioned himself. Time for daydreaming later.

  “I’m fine,” he said with a rueful grin. “Just too many things on my mind, I guess.”

  “Uh-huh.” Jeff shot a shrewd glance at him, then stared into the depths of his mug.

  Now, what did that mean? Adam felt unaccountably defensive. He gestured toward the stacks of papers on the table. “I’ve been concentrating pretty hard on this lately.”

  “Hmmm.” Looking unconvinced, Jeff leaned his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his fists. “Seems to me that this afternoon is the first time I’ve seen you really concentrate in quite a while.”

  Adam straightened his papers once more and reached for his pencil, hoping to avoid Jeff’s speculative gaze. Jeff hadn’t helped build this ranch into a showplace by being unobservant.

  When he looked up again, though, Jeff was still staring at him, an amused grin playing around the corners of his mouth. “Is something funny?” Adam asked edgily.

  “I’m just trying to put two and two together and see what I come up with,” Jeff said, leaning back lazily in his chair. “Let’s see. . .” he held up an index finger. “You’re in a real fever all of a sudden to get this place of yours fixed up and in operation.”

  “I’ve been dreaming of this for years. You know that,” Adam protested.

  Jeff held up another finger beside the first. “You walk around like you’re in some other world, and don’t see half of what goes on around you.”

  “Like I said, I’ve had a lot on my mind, trying to pull all this together.” Adam frowned. “You aren’t saying I’ve been slacking off on my work, are you?”

  Jeff continued unperturbed, raising his ring finger as he spoke. “When Tom Mallory comes anywhere near you, I can hear your teeth grinding.”

  Adam flushed and made a conscious effort to relax his jaws. “You’ve had your own doubts about him. You’ve told me so.”

  “And last,” Jeff concluded, waving four fingers in the air, “you’re uncommonly edgy around a certain Lizzie Bradley.” Leaning across the table, he fixed his gaze on Adam’s. “You tell me if that doesn’t add up to four.”

  Adam spluttered and started to protest, but gave it up as wasted effort. Who am I trying to kid? He’s figured it out, anyway. “Okay, you’ve got me,” he admitted, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “And I might as well level with you, it feels good to finally be able to talk to someone about it.”

  Jeff threw back his head and let out a delighted whoop. “I knew it!” he yelled. “I knew it!”

  Judith’s head a
ppeared in the kitchen doorway. “What’s all the commotion, Jeff? Is everything all right?”

  Jeff, still crowing, seemed about to pour out his discovery, but after a look at Adam’s stricken face, he relented. “Every-thing’s fine, honey,” he said. “I just came up with the answer to a mathematical problem, that’s all. Sorry if I scared you.”

  His wife gave both men a quizzical look, then shook her head and disappeared behind the swinging door.

  Adam eyed Jeff warily. “Are you finished trying to an-nounce this to the world?”

  “I guess I did get a little out of hand,” Jeff said, chuckling. “But why all the secrecy, man? This is great news. Have you spoken to Charles yet?”

  “I haven’t even spoken to Lizzie,” Adam confessed. At Jeff’s astonished look, he went on, “I wanted to get everything in place first, have a decent home to offer her before I said anything.”

  “I can understand that. But you’re well on your way now. Why not go to her?”

  Adam hesitated before answering. “The timing just doesn’t seem right.”

  “It’s that Mallory fellow, isn’t it?”

  “He’s part of it.” Adam fought down the jealousy that always rose up in him at the very thought of the man. “He seems to be around whenever she is, helping her with her horse, offering to clean her tack for her. He knows what he’s doing around women, all right. She can’t help but be impressed.”

  “So get out there and do the same thing. Show her you can be impressive, too.”

  Adam shook his head. “That’s just not me, Jeff. I’m not a flashy show horse, just steady and reliable. And I’m not sure that’s what she wants.”

  “It’s the steady ones that go the distance. Lizzie knows that.”

  “But it’s the show horses that get noticed. I’ve been around here so long that to her, I’m just part of the scenery.”

  “Hmmm.” Jeff stroked his chin as he thought. “You might be right, there. Seems to me that what you have to do is make yourself flash a little bit, just so you get her attention.”