When I Moan: Russian Stepbrother Romance

by Marian Tee

  Davey let out a strangled cry that sounded like a weird mix of pain and pleasure.

  “Prastite, chto vy skazali?”

  Unable to bear it, Seri cried out, “Stop it, Misha! You know Davey doesn’t speak Russian!”

  Misha released his hold on Davey’s shoulder.

  She started to apologize to Davey, but her jaw dropped when she saw her friend gazing at her brother with stars in her eyes. What? She looked at Misha, who was smiling angelically, and then back at Davey, who was now promising her brother fervently he would guard Seri with his life.

  Misha nodded with obvious satisfaction. “That’s what I want to hear.”

  Okaaaaay. Seri felt like she was missing something. Davey should be calling for 911 now, but instead he was still looking at her brother like he had given Davey the Miss Universe crown.

  When Misha drove away, she whirled around to face Davey, demanding, “What was that about?”

  “Your brother is adorable,” Davey sighed as he unlocked the door for her.

  She stepped inside, muttering crossly, “You’re so weird.”

  But Davey didn’t seem to hear her. He was humming happily as he carried her overnight bag inside and locked the door.

  Seri stomped up the stairs, knowing that it would just be the two of them since Davey’s parents were always jetting to one country or another.

  Davey followed behind her, still humming.

  “Will you stop that?” she snarled as she threw herself on the sofa bed in Davey’s room.

  Davey threw himself on his bed, too, but he did so with a dreamy sigh.

  “Oh my God, Davey, I’m going to kill you if you don’t stop grinning---”

  “Okay, okay!” Davey reluctantly stopped replaying his masochistic fantasies about Misha Grachyov and forced himself to focus on his friend. She was lying on her back, her furious gaze trying to burn a hole through his ceiling.

  “That bad?” he asked in surprise.

  “Yeah,” she said flatly. “That bad.” And wasn’t that the understatement of the year.

  Davey turned on his side, propping his head up with his hand while he studied her friend. “I heard you tell Misha about Vassi being busy,” he prompted.

  Nothing.

  “Things, you said?”

  “Yeah.” Seri’s voice was even flatter. “Things that have boobs and pussies.”

  Davey choked. “Seri!”

  She turned to face him.

  His laughter faded.

  Seri was crying.

  He sat up in panic. “Seri! What happened?”

  Her lips moved, but no sound came out. Only the tears continued to fall, and it was as if her pain had rendered her voiceless.

  He climbed off his bed and hugged her, and Seri threw her arms around him. It was Davey’s first time to see her cry ever since Marianna’s funeral, and the feel of her tears wetting the side of his neck made him want to cry.

  Seri’s tears were heartbreaking.

  A bit gross, but still.

  Heartbreaking.

  It was past midnight when she finally spoke her first word. “Davey?”

  “What is it?” he asked immediately, hoping that she would ask him to do something. Anything. Because even though she had stopped crying, the pain was still there, the elephant in the room that neither of them could ignore.

  “Vassi’s not a virgin anymore.”

  “What?” Startled at her words, Davey switched the bedside lamp on so he could see her face.

  She turned to him with a glassy smile. “And you know what’s so silly?” She laughed and cried at the same time, and the sound was so painful Davey wished he could cover Seri’s ears and prevent her from hearing her own pain.

  Maybe if she didn’t hear how hurt she was, she wouldn’t know her heart was broken.

  “E-even though I knew it was impossible, t-there was a part of me that really believed w-we would be each other’s first.”

  Her smile started to crack.

  “S-silly, right?”

  Her voice broke.

  Seri reached for the bedside lamp to plunge the room back into the darkness.

  And then she was crying, and this time---

  Knowing that she was shattering into pieces right next to him---

  Knowing that all he could do was hold his friend’s hand---

  Davey’s heart did break.

  Chapter Six

  Saturdays had always been reserved for career planning with her manager Arielle. Or at least that was what it should be, but more often than not, the days she spent with the older woman could be summed up as Arielle yelling at her and Seri doing her best not to lose her sense of hearing.

  Even so, it was something she looked forward to.

  It had been three days since she had left home, and the emptiness of her days was driving her crazy. With nothing to do, she found it impossible to escape remembering, and all the memories were of…things.

  That was the only way she could think of what happened, of what Vassi was doing with Shelby.

  Things.

  Things, she thought numbly, that were obviously more important than her.

  Somehow, she had foolishly thought Vassi would get rid of Shelby the moment he found out she was gone. Somehow, she had foolishly thought he would be demanding that she come back to their house the very next day---

  But he hadn’t.

  It was as if now that Vassi had Shelby, he no longer had space in his heart for his cute little sister---

  Arielle snapped her fingers in front of Seri’s face.

  Seri crashed back to earth to find herself back in her manager’s Japanese-style office, seated seiza-style on the floor, her knees folded primly under her.

  Arielle was glaring at her. “Did you even hear a single word I’ve said?” Being half-Japanese and half-French, Seri’s manager was able to exude an aura of demureness and sophistication even when she was yelling at the top of her lungs.

  Seri gulped. “Umm---”

  “If I catch you lying, you won’t be going to any auditions this month.”

  Seri threw herself prostate on the floor. “Apologies, sensei.”

  Arielle let out a loud hmph.

  “I promise not to be distracted again.”

  “Make good on that,” Arielle said, sounding slightly mollified. “You may raise your head now.” When Seri had straightened up, she asked, “Now, what do you want to hear first? The good news or the bad news?”

  “Good,” she said right away.

  Arielle nodded. “So bad first.”

  “But I just---”

  “And the bad news is that you suck horribly, immensely, terribly---”

  Seri winced, asking, “Can we just get to the point, sensei?”

  “You suck at making sexy noises.”

  Oh.

  Her shoulders drooped.

  “Stop slouching,” Arielle barked.

  She automatically straightened. “Sorry.” She had thought her problem would be something more technical, like perhaps she needed to improve her Japanese accent or her voice was too soft.

  This, though---

  It was like Shelby had just bitch-slapped Seri, twice, without the other girl knowing it.

  Unbelievable.

  “The good news?” she asked finally, her voice brittle with pessimism.

  “I’ve generously decided to keep you on as my talent.”

  “Arielle!”

  “What?” Her manager had the gall to appear affronted. “Is it not good news? You know how much I love money, and if you weren’t my goddaughter and Marianna’s precious baby, I would have---”

  “Arielle!”

  Arielle huffed, “You Russians are so sensitive.”

  “I’m not Russian,” she snapped. “My step family is.”

  Arielle waved her hand dismissively. “It’s the same thing.” She narrowed her gaze on Seri. “But I’m serious. You need to improve on that aspect of your training. Get Coach E to devote at leas
t an hour each day to this.”

  Seri winced. “It’s that bad.”

  “Well, there’s another alternative.” Arielle gazed at her nails studiously, murmuring, “You can always take a shortcut and have sex---”

  Seri groaned, “Oh my God, Arielle.” She shook her head, demanding, “Don’t you have any morals?”

  “Well, what about you?” Arielle shot back. “Aren’t you supposed to be stupid and horny at your age? What are you, for heaven’s sake? Nineteen?”

  “Sixteen,” Seri growled, “and you know it!”

  “Whatever.” Arielle shooed her away. “That’s all I have to say anyway, and if you don’t want to have sex for the sake of your craft---”

  “Can you hear yourself?” Seri demanded as she rose to her feet.

  “Yes. I do. I’m neither deaf nor senile, and I’m not taking my words back. Your sex voice sucks. So you either need to train doubly hard or find someone to get your hormones---”

  “Goodbye, sensei.” Seri bowed quickly and hurried away before Arielle’s immorality rubbed off on her.

  She left Arielle’s office building still shaking her head in chagrin, thinking that if Arielle also didn’t happen to be Marianna’s best friend, she would probably have moved to another agency years ago.

  The woman was seriously cray-cray, Seri thought as she snapped her umbrella open and headed out to the street.

  “Seri.”

  If Arielle really thought she would actually---

  “SERI.”

  She froze.

  That voice…had been real?

  She hadn’t been…imagining it?

  Seri’s steps halted. She turned around, heart beating madly, part of her wanting to run away while the other part of her also wanted to run…towards…

  Their gazes met.

  Him.

  Vassi.

  He was leaning against his car, arms crossed over his chest, and looking gorgeous and sexy as ever. He was dressed in a turtleneck sweater and jeans, and like all crazy celebrities, he also had on a pair of dark glasses, like a piece of eyewear could really hide their identity.

  Just looking at him made Seri’s heart feel like it was about to explode with all the emotions it was trying to contain.

  Resentment, jealousy, anger, frustration, and…

  Love.

  So, so much love---

  But then she remembered the night he came home.

  She remembered the sounds.

  She remembered the pain.

  Seri whirled around and tried to make a run for it.

  Tried being the operative word.

  Because she had barely taken a couple of steps towards the opposite direction when he caught her by the scruff of the neck, holding her back like she was a bad little kitty that had to be caught.

  “Not so fast.”

  And just like a bad little kitty, she tried to struggle out of his hold, even using her umbrella to try slapping him away. He grunted in pain, but his hold didn’t loosen and he kept on dragging her to the car.

  “You. Are. Going. Home. With. Me.” The way he panted the words out told Seri that she was putting up a good fight, but even so, she hated the sound of his voice. It reminded her of things, and it gave her the strength to struggle even harder.

  “Let me go!” She tried to kick him, but Vassi had swung her off her feet, clutching her to him by the waist, and all she managed to hit was air.

  “I. Told. You. You’re. Coming. Home.” Vassi managed to unlock the door.

  “I don’t want to,” she shrieked at him.

  “I. Can’t. Hear. You.” Vassi practically hurled her inside the car, and as she fell onto the backseat, he followed her inside right away and slammed the door shut in the next second.

  “Step on it.”

  And just like that, she had been kidnapped.

  Even so, Seri didn’t give up. She tried the door, found it irreversibly locked, and with a cry of outrage, she lunged herself at him and beat his chest.

  “Let me go!”

  He didn’t stop her from hitting him, but Vassi’s voice was unequivocal as he gave her his reply. “No.”

  She beat him harder with her fists. “I hate you!”

  Vassi didn’t answer.

  He remained silent, his beautiful face expressionless, and it was this stillness that tore through her anger, destroying it like it was but a flimsy farce and revealing the hurtful truth underneath.

  And that was…even though she had seen him with Shelby, had heard him with Shelby, it didn’t change a thing.

  Her head lowered as her tired, battered heart exposed the undeniable truth.

  She still loved him.

  Her stepbrother.

  Vassi.

  Over her head, she heard Vassi speak. “You’re coming home with me, solnishka moya.”

  Bitterness crept into her heart, and she shook her head.

  “Shelby’s gone.”

  Her head shot up. “S-she is?”

  “I told her I was leaving unexpectedly for work so it would be better if she spends Christmas with her family.”

  Oh. Shelby was gone, but they hadn’t broken up.

  Vassi’s eyes bored through her. “It was a lie, though.”

  OH.

  “I couldn’t exactly tell her the truth, could I?”

  Seri paled. The truth? What did Vassi mean by the truth? Had he realized that---

  Before she could even think of whether or not she was ready to ask about the truth, Vassi had leaned forward and she found herself holding her breath at suddenly having his face right next to her.

  He captured a lock of her hair. “And that’s the fact that my jealous little leech---”

  She started to protest.

  “Turns out to be as crazy as her two oldest brothers,” he continued.

  “Sergei and Misha are not---”

  “Because she turns out to have the biggest brother complex,” he finished in a mocking drawl.

  Oh.

  So that was his truth.

  He thought she had a brother complex the way Sergei and Misha had a sister complex over her. He still did not know that she was in love with him.

  And…that was a good thing.

  Right?

  She heard herself say, “This means, you’re choosing me…over Shelby, right?”

  Instead of answering, Vassi tugged on her hair, a silent demand for her to look up.

  She didn’t want to, but when he tugged on her hair again, she couldn’t stop herself from following his order.

  Vassi was her beloved stepbrother, after all, and all her life she had always…

  She had always wanted to do the things that pleased him.

  She had always wanted to be his favorite.

  She had always…loved him.

  So she looked up, and as their eyes met, Vassi said simply, “I will always choose you over all other women.”

  Her heart started to soar---

  “Leech.”

  – only to crash at the reminder that while Vassi had promised to choose her over all the other girls, it was only because he still and would always see her…as his sister.

  Chapter Seven

  It was a few days before Christmas, and the boys in her family were leaving together for a shopping trip. The annual tradition had started the first Christmas following Marianna’s passing. Because all four had been desperate to make Seri smile, and they had all known her well enough to figure out what she would want most from Santa, Fyodor and the three Grachyov brothers had ended up buying her the exact same gift: a pendant that had an intricately and accurately engraved drawing of her mother.

  Thankfully, the pendants came in various shapes, reflecting the boys’ varying interests. Fyodor’s was in the shape of a house; Sergei’s was a treasure chest, Misha’s a potion bottle, while Vassi’s was in the shape of a book.

  Since then, though, the boys had agreed to shop together for her Christmas gift while at the same time placing Seri on tem
porary house arrest. To make sure you don’t guess what we’re giving you, Fyodor and the boys had explained.

  The setup used to exasperate Seri to no end, but now she couldn’t be more thankful for it.

  Since returning home, the most incredible idea had occurred to Seri, one she was equally terrified and excited to test. But before that happened, she needed to get rid of all the boys in the house first, and today gave her the perfect opportunity to be alone.

  Seri walked them to the front door, saying cheerfully, “Have fun shopping, but please don’t overspend.” Lately, the boys had been too competitive, trying to outdo each other with who was able to get her the most expensive and creative Christmas gift.

  Fyodor pressed a kiss on her forehead, but his voice was stern when he asked, “You will be here when we come back, won’t you?”

  “Oh, Papa.” She hugged him quickly. “Sorry for making you worry.” She pulled away and pointed to Vassi. “I was just mad at him.”

  Sergei and Misha turned to their youngest brother with grim expressions.

  “What the---how many times do I have to apologize for that?” Vassi demanded in exasperation. “I’ve said it already, but I’ll say it again. I’m sorry for bringing an outsider to spend Christmas with us. Happy now?”

  Music to her ears, Seri thought, and she said sweetly, “I’ll hold you to that.”

  “Jealous little leech,” she heard Vassi mutter under his breath but before she could react, the other boys were already reacting for her. They had heard his words, too, and Fyodor raged at him in Russian while the older brothers didn’t hesitate to thump him.

  “What the---stop spoiling her!”

  More thumping, more Russian curse words rained down on Vassi even as they all got inside the limousine.

  She waved at them. “Take care!”

  The limousine sped away.

  And she was alone.

  Finally.

  * * *

  Seri hurriedly locked her bedroom door before sitting down in front of her laptop. Plopping her noise-canceling headset into place, Seri switched her microphone on and typed one word on Google’s search box.

  Porn.

  A list of sites showed up, and she clicked on the first link and followed that with a click on the first clip on the home page.