The War of All Wars

by J. Eric Booker

  While the cheering and applause continued on, he handed the microphone to the DJ before hopping off the stage. Already, he shook peoples’ hands and/or signed autographs—especially the ladies—as he moseyed his way toward the bar. Meanwhile, the DJ stated with a hell of a lot of emphasis, “Hey folks…yo, yo, yo…let’s put it up for E Main! Thanks for performing for us, bro. Whoo! ”

  “Whoo! ” the crowd cheered aloud—in the next moment, the DJ had just begun to play out another bumping song.

  For the next ten seconds, Baltor peripherally watched E Main, while thinking, “Besides the fact that this E Main is an incredibly talented artist, there’s something else about him that’s just as incredible, but I can’t figure out what. I should probe his history. ” No matter how hard he tried, he strangely could not read the man’s mind.

  On the thirteenth second, Nadia interrupted his penetrating thoughts by politely asking, “Hey, Baltor? The bartender is here…can we take care of the bill now, please?”

  “Uh, yeah, sure,” Baltor said, just before he turned around and began to walk toward the bar, which bar had eight barstools.

  Behind the bar stood a beautiful barmaid, whose face appeared to be “a perfect match” to Brishava’s on that very first night he had met her! Only difference at all that he could tell…this woman was “a blondie.” Her outfit consisted of a black mini-skirt around her voluptuous hips, and a pink T-shirt that had been cut off just below her just as voluptuous breasts—her waist had not one ounce of fat.

  Despite his shock, his hand still managed to pull the debit card out of his wallet, and hand it over—in turn, she took it and swiped it through a similar electronic device that he had seen in the hotel.

  Just like with the other device, this too began to make a series of whirs, chirps and other electronic noises…thirty seconds later, the word “approved” appeared on the top of the device, and a six-inch-long section of paper shot out the front.

  In turn, the barmaid ripped off the paper and slid it across the bar, as well a pen, and said with a smile, “Thank you for you patronage, Mr. Elysian. My name is Alexandra—have you decided what type of champagne you would like?”

  In the very next second, one girl was standing on each side of Baltor, and each girl had an arm clasped tightly around his elbow—Reva was the first to answer, “Baltor…the best champagne they have in stock is Perit Jouet—it’s absolutely delicious!”

  “Okay,” Baltor said with a smile, “We’ll have that.”

  “Yes, sir,” Alexandra said with a smile, “Give me a minute, and your drinks will be ready.”

  “Thank you.”

  “No problem.”

  “So, Baltor,” Nadia began, “What do you think about this club? Do you like it?”

  “It’s wonderful, so far,” Baltor said. “I’ve never been to a place like this before!”

  “Really,” Reva added with a question at the end, “where are you from?”

  “Hmm,” Baltor replied. “Good question.”

  After laughing slightly, Reva asked, “What’s the answer?”

  “I’m from Mississippi,” Baltor impulsively said, as his mind had not only seen this city and state on the globe, yet remembered the time when Trendon had said that his favorite-place-to-visit could be used as “a counter in time.” He hated to lie, but he certainly couldn’t tell the truth that he was an alien from another planet.

  “Oh, I’ve never been there myself,” Nadia replied, “but I heard it gets very hot-and-humid in the summers though, and that there are tons of swamps and alligators and snakes and mosquitoes down there!”

  “Oh yeah, I know all-too-well what swampy and steamy temperatures feel like, but like with anything else, you get used to them,” Baltor came back.

  Reva said, “Well, Baltor, are you ready to go sit at the couches, get more comfortable, and talk some more?”

  With a smile, a nod and the shrug of his left shoulder, he answered, “Sure.”

  Nadia added, “Grab your drink, honey!”

  Because he had been looking back and forth between the girls as they spoke, it was just then that he noticed that there were now three crystalline glasses filled with a white, bubbling yet yellow-colored fluid sitting on the bar. When he picked up his glass, it already felt chilled.

  In the next moment, the girls began leading him to the nearest couch, where he saw that Alexandra had just finishing setting the bucket onto the table—inside the bucket sat a flowery-glass bottle of champagne sunk deep into ice.

  Not even five seconds later, the three were sitting down—Baltor, of course, in the middle.

  After looking right at him, Alexandra concluded with a friendly smile, “Mr. Elysian, you and all your guests’ drinks are free until ten a.m., which is when your two hours runs out. Of course, if you would like to extend that timeframe, or invite any other guests into your VIP lounge, up to a grand total of ten people with the amount of money you paid, just let me know as I will be behind the bar the entire time, and I will oblige your request, as can Vinnie the doorman downstairs. If you want more than ten people, up to a grand total of fifty people, the costs will rise ten rubles a person. Any questions, Mr. Elysian?”

  “Nope, thank you very much, Alexandra.”

  “No problem, sir—have a great time!” After delivering one final smile, she went back behind the bar—at the same time, Baltor observed that both girls had “sour facial expressions!”

  “What’s the matter?” he half-whispered.

  Speaking even quieter so only the three could hear, Nadia answered, “That girl was really rude to us—and just so you know, we’re both biting back our tongues right now.”

  “Ah, come on,” Baltor said with a nonchalant wave of the hand. “Don’t let anyone—and I mean anyone—stop you when you’re trying to have a great time. As for me, I’ve been having an amazing time overall…how about you girls?”

  “Yes,” they both cooed, snuggling even tighter into his sides, and each planting “a light kiss” on his cheek!

  “Well, let’s have a toast—too new friendships!”

  “Too new friendships,” both girls responded—the three raised their glasses high into the air, dinged the glasses together one time, and took a nice lengthy swig.

  “You’re so cute, Baltor,” Reva said with a smile, still only inches away from his face.

  Casting his head and eyes over, he asked, “Looks aren’t everything…it’s what’s on the inside that counts most.”

  She replied, “I know…still I could eat you up right now, as you both look and smell as delicious as a piece of milk chocolate!” Without any further delay, she was taking another drink of her champagne.

  An inch from Baltor’s other ear, he heard Nadia add, “You wouldn’t be the only one to eat him, Reva…me too. Such a very delicious dessert he would make for the both of us—there is plenty of him to go around! Right?”

  From all the “unexpected physical attention” he was now receiving from both ladies, as well the “two innuendos” he had just clearly heard, he forced himself to stand up to his feet, take three steps forward, and turn around.

  “Listen ladies,” Baltor said, now sounding apologetic, “We’ve only just met. Give me a little time here, because I certainly did not expect to meet two drop-dead-gorgeous ladies who would be flirting with me at the very same time—which by the way just so you know—is a very exhilarating and flattering thing!”

  “There’s one other thing you should know about us that we haven’t yet told you, Baltor,” Reva said with a secretive smile.

  “What’s that?”

  “We—Nadia and I—are lesbian lovers…you are the first man we want to join with us, and I know that you know what I mean, after this clubbing experience is over…yes?”

  Baltor’s mouth abruptly dropped all the way open in utter disbelief!

  After sucking in a deep breath and releasing it all out with a single whooshing sound, he sucked another deep breath before exclaiming, “Um
m, wow…that I never would have guessed either—anything else I should know?”

  Nadia added, “Yes, I have one thing you should know…remember who it was who said, and I quote, ‘Don’t let anyone—and I mean anyone—stop you when you’re trying to have a good time?’”

  Truthfully, he could only answer one word, “Me.”

  “That’s right,” Reva said with a wink. “How about we just play things by ear, my great friend? If something happens, then great—if not, then still great—either way…it’ll be so great!” She had purposefully stretched out the word “so” for about five seconds.

  “All right, great,” he answered with a nod. “Do you guys want to show me how to dance?”

  “For sure,” both girls answered as their eyes lit up. After clinking their glasses together while making an excited whooping sound, they slammed the rest of their drinks down.

  In turn, Nadia picked up the bottle, and filled all three glasses, although Baltor’s glass was still a quarter full.

  With that, she set the bottle back into the bucket, grabbed Reva’s hand, who—in turn—grabbed Baltor’s hand; the three made their way to the middle of the dance floor, all the while dancing their bodies rhythmically to the music.

  Perhaps thirty seconds later, the girls “went to town” as they ever-so-skillfully navigated, maneuvered and danced all around his body…they, in his unvoiced opinion, were “better than most of the professional belly dancers he’d ever seen!”

  In fact, they were “so good” that many of the men below had begun to look up and focus their attention onto the two beautiful girls dancing—the more those men looked, the more they wanted to look…no doubt.

  As for Baltor, as he was “a master martial artist, acrobat and warrior,” so too was he “an equally skilled dancer.” Right away he proceeded to use a few of the same dance movements he had seen some of the best male dancers in this place do, which moves were slightly different than the moves the females made.

  Shortly after he had begun to dance, the women below soon after began to look up with desire and adoration. Reva and Nadia also had their undivided attention on him, though their bodies continued to swivel nonstop all around. There were even times that they girls grabbed each other’s hand or hands for leverage, simultaneously either leaning her far back this way or that…or leaning deep into each other.

  Two minutes of dancing later, Baltor started to feel even more confident about his dancing abilities, thanks to the facial expressions of all the women, and so he took off his suit jacket and tossed it over to the couch—it landed on the edge!

  Nearly a dozen women couldn’t help but gasp aloud upon seeing his very muscular physique, evident even through his thick-cotton collared shirt, and his white, V-neck T-shirt underneath—already were the two dancing girls besides him starting to unbutton this outer shirt.

  While Reva started at the top, Nadia ripped out the bottom part of his tucked-in shirt, and unbuttoned the lowest button first—only ten seconds later, they took off his collared shirt, which caused dozens more girls to gasp out in delight.

  Trying to look like a pro, Nadia tossed it toward the couch, but it landed on the outside of the dance floor, about ten feet away—Baltor was no longer paying attention to his shirt, however, as his peripheral eyes observed that there was someone on the ground floor who was twirling glowing, blue orbs.

  Only once that person had switched to a different technique, sixteen seconds later, that person’s face and gender finally became revealed…a young-looking man wearing a crazy-looking hat that even had yarn hanging off the very top that ended in a large ball.

  In the next moment, Baltor stopped dancing, and said to the girls, “Hold on a second…I’ll be right back.”

  “Where are you going?” both girls asked with a hint of disappointment and tension in their voices.

  “I want to talk to that one guy over there for a minute—the one spinning those magical glowing orbs,” he said.

  “Magical,” Nadia laughed, “Those aren’t magical—those are chemical glow-sticks that are attached to strings…even the military uses them at night. Well, enough of me rambling—hurry back up, okay?”

  “Okay,” Baltor said, just before hurrying at a jogging pace down the stairs and out the door. After dexterously navigating his way around the crowds, he soon arrived within a half-dozen feet from the man twirling the glow-sticks—he was still “doing his thing.”

  “Excuse me, sir?” Baltor asked.

  After stopping, the man turned around, and laughed. With a unique accent that was far different from everyone else around here, he said, “I’m not a sir…I work for a living. My name’s Joshua. What can I do for you, bro?”

  Baltor asked, “Would you mind it if I borrowed those chemical glow-sticks of yours, please? I promise I’ll give them back, or I can even pay for them. How about one hundred rubles?”

  “No problem at all, my brother,” Joshua answered, while rolling up the strings around the glow-sticks and handing them over. Without any further delay, he added, “But I got an extra set in my pocket…so you can keep these for free.”

  After Baltor had put them in his front pocket, which made his pocket glow brightly, he replied with a smile, “Thanks, bro…hey, I am having a little party up there in the VIP lounge. If you and a few friends of yours want, you can hang out with me and my two lady friends, and drink as much as you want until we decide to leave?”

  “Well, yeah,” Joshua replied, “but I’ve got three of my best friends with me…is that cool if they come along? Or how many of them am I allowed to bring up? I got a few dozen friends here, including a bunch of hot girls.”

  “For now, let’s start with four—by the way, my name’s Baltor.”

  “Nice too meet you, bro,” he said while extending out his hand—after they clasped for a single second, each man placed his hands by his sides.

  “Well, bro,” Baltor said with a wave of the hand. “Come on up whenever you want, but the sooner the better, as I only paid for two hours—I’ll clear you guys with the doorman.”

  “Gotcha,” Joshua replied with two thumbs-up. “Hey guys…this is my new friend Baltor! He’s invited us to go to the VIP lounge with him and his two girlfriends, and have free drinks as long as they’re there…you guys want to go? If you do, we got to go right now.”

  “Sure, why not,” to “Yeah,” to, “Hell yeah” came the responses from his three friends—in the next moment, Baltor led the way.

  Even before having reached the door, he saw E Main walking by toward the bear—Baltor stopped in his tracks and called out, “Hey, bro…nice song you performed! I’ve never heard anything like it before in my life…”

  Stopping in his own tracks, E Main turned to face Baltor, before replying with an appreciative smile, “Thanks, my man!”

  “What are you doing right now?”

  “Just drinking a few beers with my road-manager,” E Main answered.

  “Is ‘E Main’ your real name?”

  After laughing a few times, he answered, “Well, kind of…it’s my stage name. All my homies call me E.”

  Baltor asked, “What’s ‘a homie,’ E?”

  “Just another way of saying, ‘Good Friend,’ my man…so what’s your name?”

  “Call me quote-unquote, ‘B,’” Baltor said, for some unknown reason. “Do you and your manager want to party with us in the VIP for another hour-and-a-half at least? Perhaps longer if we’re having fun?”

  After extending both his fisted thumbs high into the air, E answered, “Sure, B, why not? Sounds great…so, by the way, what kind of an accent is that?”

  Baltor answered, “I can answer that question, or just about any other question you might have soon enough, but right now I’ve got to get back upstairs to my lady-friends first, so I will let Vinnie, the door man right over there know to let you and your road manager upstairs…okay? Then I’ll answer any questions you may have…”

  “Sounds good, B,” E answered. “We
’ll be there in but a few minutes…I promise. Thanks again, my friend!”

  Baltor nodded his head, before replying, “No problem, homie…”

  With that, E chuckled once, just before he gracefully spun around and walked toward the bar. Meanwhile, Baltor turned back around to face his three new friends, and said, “Sorry about that.”

  “No problem,” Joshua answered with a laugh. “Whenever you’re ready, good sir!”

  Baltor laughed back, before pivoting around and making his way for the VIP door—they followed. After Vinnie had opened the door, Baltor informed the man, “These are my friends—they’re allowed to come and go as they please until the time’s up! Thanks, Vinnie.”

  “I know, sir,” Vinnie said respectfully, “I heard…I will be sure to let E Main and his manager go upstairs, sir. Go on up gentlemen, and please, have a great time.”

  “Thank you,” these gentlemen responded, using that term or a similar one, just before walking upstairs. Baltor followed behind, stuffing a one hundred ruble bill into the t-shirt pocket belonging to the doorman—Vinnie smiled and nodded, before closing the door.

  Just before Baltor had rounded the final corner, he had already noticed that his two lady-friends were sitting on the couch and quietly conversing—evident by their faces, they were still happy, and by their slightly bloodshot eyes, a bit buzzed off the alcohol! His other new friends stood at the bar, ordering drinks.

  Just after rounding that corner, Nadia was the first to look over and squeal, “Hey, Baltor, you cutie pie, get over here, and introduce us to all your new friends…okay?”

  Upon reaching the couch, Baltor released a little chuckle before greeting, “I only know Joshua’s name…not these other gentlemen…but guess what? That musical artist, E Main, and his manager are coming up here to party with us…”

  “Are you freaking serious,” Reva gasped with excitement, “Oh my God—I’ve listened to his music for the last nine years, ever since he had a website on MySpace—we even shared a few nice conversations back then. But now, E Main’s “a world famous artist,” and who am I but a girl from a small town he’s probably never heard of? Think you can introduce us, Baltor?”