Beauty from Ashes: A Christian Romance (BlackThorpe Security Book 5)

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

  “I don’t know, but you really need to get up so we can get this day underway.”

  Adrianne stared at Melanie, wondering how long she’d been up already. She was wearing a Christmas sweater, and her hair and makeup were already done. With a groan, Adrianne threw back her warm comforter and swung her feet over the edge of the bed. She sat there for a moment, trying to wake herself up enough to feel like getting dressed.

  “Don’t stop there,” Melanie said as she crawled across the bed to sit next to Adrianne. “Christmas presents await. Do not delay.”

  “Yeah. Yeah. I hear you,” Adrianne said as she pushed to her feet. But before going to her bathroom to get ready, she grabbed her pillow and swung it at Melanie, feeling a sense of satisfaction as she made contact with her sister and sent her sprawling back on the bed. “Now it’s time for me to go get dressed.”

  “Merry Christmas, Annie,” Melanie called out again as she headed for the door, obviously pleased that her work there was done.

  It was close to half an hour before Adrianne was ready to walk downstairs to join the others. If it had just been their family like in years past, she wouldn’t have worried about doing her hair or putting on makeup. But this year it was a little different with other people present. People like Tyler and his parents and yes, Connor. Given their history, she never wanted Connor to see her at anything but her best. She never wanted to give him reason to criticize the way she looked ever again.

  Because of that, she’d taken her time fixing her hair and then applying makeup before changing into a long-sleeve, white silk blouse over which she wore a vest with swirling shades of blues and purples. She’d pulled on a pair of fitted black jeans and then slid her feet into a pair of black flats. She wore a long silver chain with matching dangling earrings. As she’d looked at herself in the mirror, she’d been happy with the way the long sleeves hung loosely on her arms and the bottom of the blouse lay smooth across her hips underneath where the vest ended. It wasn’t a Christmassy outfit, but it was one that she felt good in.

  After a light spritz of perfume, Adrianne slipped on her glasses and left her room. When she got down to the living room, she found most everyone there. Tyler and his parents were absent, but they would be joining the family in time for dinner later that afternoon. So it was just family gathered in the living room, though she used that term loosely as it applied to Connor.

  “Adrianne’s here!” Jordan announced when she appeared in the doorway. “Can we open our stockings now?”

  Adrianne settled into a wingback armchair, wishing for a cup of coffee, and watched as her mother instructed Jordan on who each stocking belonged to. This had always been a tradition of theirs—to open the stockings before having breakfast together. Once breakfast was cleared away, they would then be allowed to open their presents. It looked like they were going to keep the same tradition even with the presence of three more people.

  As they continued through their Christmas morning traditions, Adrianne had to make a concerted effort to keep her attention off Connor. It wasn’t that she wanted to look at him. However, that didn’t stop her gaze from constantly drifting in his direction.

  Thankfully, Jordan’s excitement over everything, from his stocking to breakfast to the gifts under the tree, brought a smile to her face and helped keep her attention. Most of the time.

  Adrianne started taking pictures of Jordan on her phone to preserve the memory of their first holiday together but soon decided to have a little fun. As she uploaded them to her Facebook page, she captioned them with #JordansfirstChristmas #withus along with any other creative hashtag she could think of, all the while tagging Jordan. He had been kept off his phone by his mother until everyone had finished unwrapping their presents, so he had no idea what his aunt had been up to.

  “Sixty-three notifications?” Jordan exclaimed when he was finally allowed back on his phone. “What on earth?”

  Adrianne held her phone in front of her face as she waited for Jordan to discover what she’d been up to. She hadn’t been sure at first about having Jordan as a friend on Facebook, but in the time since she’d accepted his request, she’d come to enjoy their interactions on the site. Mostly it was sharing funny videos or memes, but there were some days where what he posted on her page was the only thing to make her laugh.

  “Seriously?”

  Adrianne lifted her gaze from the screen of her phone to find her nephew towering over her. Giving him her best innocent look, she quirked an eyebrow and said, “What?”

  Jordan tilted his head as he pushed her phone down with one hand and began to read off his Facebook. “Hashtag Jordan’s first Christmas. Hashtag Bet he wishes it was a car. Hashtag Same number of wheels though. Hashtag Roll on Jordan.” He lifted his gaze to meet hers and quirked an eyebrow. “Really?”

  “Hey, was I wrong?” Adrianne asked with a grin.

  Jordan held onto his glare for a moment then returned her grin. “No, you weren’t wrong.”

  “What’s going on?” Melanie asked as she came to peer around Jordan’s shoulder.

  “Dear Auntie Adrianne got a little creative with her hashtags on some of the Christmas pictures she uploaded this morning.” Jordan handed Melanie his phone before turning his attention back to Adrianne. “The game is now on.”

  “Oh my word, Adrianne,” Melanie said with a laugh. “You put those hashtags on the photo of him with his new skateboard.”

  The three of them dissolved into fits of laughter over not only Adrianne’s hashtags but the responses of some of Jordan’s friends. It wasn’t long before Melanie had gone after her own phone so that she could get in on the fun as well.

  “What on earth is going on with the three of you?” Alex asked when their laughter had overtaken them completely.

  Unable to respond, Melanie had held out her phone to Alex. Adrianne watched him through eyes that were damp from laughing so hard. He studied the picture, no doubt trying to decipher the hashtags that went along with it.

  “Jordan’s first Christmas,” Alex murmured as he read the first hashtag then he paused again. “Be glad it’s not…underwear?”

  Knowing it was the picture of Jordan holding up a package of socks that her mom had given him, Adrianne began to laugh once again and was quickly joined by Jordan and Melanie. Though Alex didn’t outright smile, Adrianne knew her brother well enough to know that his laughter was lurking just beneath the surface. He swiped through a few more of the photos, his smile peeking out a bit more at each one.

  But apparently it took the skateboard photo to do him in, and soon he was laughing alongside them. It had seemed like forever since Adrianne had laughed so hard, and she was surprised that it had occurred in Connor’s presence, but it felt good to know that she could still have fun in spite of him being there.

  “Adrianne, I hope you know that Jordan now has my permission to get back at you,” Alex said with a smile. “Although he’s going to have to be fairly creative to top this.”

  “I know, right?” Melanie said as she grinned at Adrianne. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”

  Adrianne shrugged as she ran her fingers under her eyes, sweeping away the lingering dampness there. She was going to have to reapply her makeup before dinner. The laughter had left her strangely tired, like after a vigorous workout. Or at least how she imagined she’d feel if she chose to work out vigorously. With a sigh, she slumped back in her chair and gave Jordan one last grin.

  “I can’t believe that people are still replying to these things,” he said as he bent over his phone. He tapped his screen rapidly and then let out another bark of laughter. “Adrianne? How tightly locked down is your profile?”

  “Pretty tight, I think.” Adrianne frowned. “Why?”

  “I just had a guy I know ask me who you were. I told him that you’re my aunt, then he said that was too bad because you’re hot.”

  Warmth flooded Adrianne’s cheeks as she reached out to grab Jordan’s phone. Sure enough, the comments Jordan h
ad just referred to were there under one of the pictures she’d uploaded and tagged him in. “Well, things have sure changed since I was in high school.”

  She felt a thump on her foot and looked over to where Melanie sat on the floor next to her. Her sister scowled at her and gave a slight shake of her head. At first, Adrianne didn’t understand what Melanie was trying to convey, but then her words and reply to Jordan sank in. It wasn’t exactly how she’d meant it—in reference to her interaction with Connor—but she supposed it still applied.

  Rather than make a big deal about it, Adrianne just shrugged and turned her attention back to Jordan. Though she was a bit surprised she’d been able to resist the urge to look in Connor’s direction, she was glad that she had. She was also very glad that in the midst of the tension she’d been feeling over the last few weeks, she’d had a few moments of normalcy and fun.

  As they moved through the rest of the day, Adrianne continued to keep distance between herself and Connor. It wasn’t all that hard really since he didn’t seem to be making any effort to interact with her either. If the rest of the family noticed, no one made any comment about it.

  It wasn’t until that night that Adrianne realized that perhaps it hadn’t been as easy as she’d thought. As soon as she stepped into her room and closed the door, a huge weight dropped from her shoulders, and she let out a long breath. So maybe it had been more tense being around him then she’d initially realized — or wanted to admit. The realization just made her that much more determined to find a place of her own.

  ~*~

  Connor wasn’t surprised when, over the course of the next couple of days, he saw very little of Adrianne. He didn’t know if it was normal for her to not hang around the main living areas of the house, but if it wasn’t, she had certainly made herself scarce since he’d arrived. The thought that she might be avoiding him within her own home made Connor feel bad.

  He hadn’t totally grasped the living arrangements when Rebecca had initially invited him to come and stay with them over the holidays—and maybe longer. But now that he was here, he could see that if he planned to stay in the Twin Cities, he would need to get a place of his own. Rebecca had said he could stay in the apartment where she and Jordan currently were, but something told him that that would still be much too close for Adrianne’s comfort.

  Though he’d gone with them to church earlier that day, Connor chose to stay home when they mentioned heading out for some sort of small group. Jordan had gone along with them after being reassured that there would be some kids his age there as well. He had no clue where Melanie was, though he figured it was probably a good guess that she was somewhere with Tyler.

  That left only Adrianne. And he had no idea where she was either. He didn’t know if she was still at the house or if she’d left while he was in his bedroom making a couple phone calls.

  The quiet of the large house was somewhat unnerving, so Connor slipped some earbuds into his ears as he made his way into the kitchen to find something to eat. The group that Rebecca and Alex had gone to had planned a meal, so while she hadn’t fixed anything for dinner, he had no trouble finding food in the huge refrigerator when he got hungry.

  He had just placed the fixings for a turkey sandwich on the counter when Adrianne appeared in the doorway. She froze as soon as she saw him and appeared ready to make a hasty retreat, but Connor held up a hand as reached up with the other to pull the earbuds from his ears.

  “Wait a sec, Adrianne,” he said in case there had been any chance she’d misinterpreted his desire for her to stay. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  With her hair pulled back in a ponytail and wearing a large sweatshirt over leggings, Adrianne looked more like a teenager than the businesswoman he knew her to be now. However, there was no mistaking the wariness that appeared on her face at his request.

  She lifted a hand to push her glasses up her nose, an action Connor instantly remembered from the time they’d spent together so many years ago. “I suppose now is as good a time as any.”

  Her response told him that she had been anticipating a conversation with him. Although anticipating might be the wrong word. Something told him she viewed it more as a necessary evil.

  Now that he had her attention, however, Connor wasn’t exactly sure how to start. “Were you coming downstairs to get something to eat?”

  She hesitated at his question then said, “I was going to grab a cup of coffee.”

  “Okay. Maybe we could talk while you have that.”

  After the briefest of hesitations, Adrianne gave a quick nod. It didn’t escape Connor’s notice that she gave him a wide berth as she came into the kitchen. Without saying anything further, she went about pulling a mug from the cupboard and setting it under the spout of the Keurig machine on the counter. Realizing there wasn’t time to make a sandwich before her coffee would be finished, Connor put back the items he had pulled out of the fridge.

  Once she had her cup of coffee, Adrianne made her way over to the breakfast nook and sat down. Connor grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge then followed her to the table.

  As he sat down across from her, Adrianne lifted her mug and took a sip. She regarded him with bright blue eyes but said nothing. Connor supposed that she figured since he’d asked for this conversation, he could be the first to speak.

  He uncapped the water bottle and took a swig of the cold liquid before saying, “I want to apologize for the things I said to you the last time we spoke.”

  Connor wasn’t sure what he’d expected Adrianne’s response to his apology to be, but it hadn’t been for her to sit there and look at him without saying anything.

  He cleared his throat and took another sip of water. “I’m sure that you weren’t happy to hear that I was coming back into your life again. I just want you to know that I really am sorry for what I said and that I don’t want to make things uncomfortable for you.”

  When she didn’t speak right away again, Connor felt a bit of frustration rise up within him. He needed her to at least say something. Accept his apology. Tell him off. At this point, he’d take anything.

  “I’ll accept your apology.” She lifted her mug and took another sip, regarding him over the rim. “For the same reason that you made it.”

  Not sure he entirely understood what she was saying, Connor asked, “And what would that be?”

  Once again, Adrianne didn’t reply right away. But this time, Connor waited her out.

  “If you were truly sorry for what happened between us, you would’ve made more of an effort to apologize before now. I wouldn’t have been that difficult to track down, especially for someone like you. So I’m going to assume that you’re apologizing to me for the sake of your sister.” Adrianne paused but before Connor could respond, she continued, “And I will accept your apology for the sake of my brother. I will be civil towards you because of Alex and Jordan, but don’t ever confuse that for forgiveness for the hateful words you threw at me when all I did was make the mistake of assuming that you were my friend.” Adrianne leaned slightly over the table towards him, her eyes narrowed. “But don’t worry, that won’t be a mistake that I’ll be repeating.”

  With that, Adrianne stood up and left Connor sitting in the breakfast nook speechless. As he thought over the words Adrianne had said to him, he realized that on some level she was correct. It wasn’t that he wasn’t truly sorry for the words he’d said to her back then, but it had just been easier to not think about it as the years put distance between him and that horrible moment. He also knew that there was nothing more that he could do to prove to her that he really was sorry. The least he could do was stay out of her way and try not to disrupt her life any more than he had to.

  Of course, they both still had to get through the vow renewal ceremony that Alex and Rebecca were planning for New Year’s day.

  ~*~

  Adrianne’s insides were quivering when she got back to her rooms. She had rehearsed in her head how she planned to respond w
hen Connor finally approached her. There had been no if. She had known that he would want to talk to her at some point. His presence in the kitchen had caught her off guard, and she hadn’t felt ready when he asked if he could talk with her. But in the end, she had managed to say what she needed to in order to get past that first difficult conversation.

  Holding her cup of coffee in both hands, Adrianne crossed the room to her window seat and sank down on it. There wasn’t much that she could see outside since it was dark, but it was her favorite place to sit in her room. As she sipped her coffee, Adrianne wondered where things would go now that she and Connor had managed to talk. Although, she knew that what had just occurred in the kitchen had not really been talking. He had had his say, and she had responded. There had been no conversation about what exactly had been said that day and what had led up to that point.

  And that was just fine with Adrianne.

  As painful as the words Connor had said to her that day had been, what had hurt worse had been the realization that he had been using her. It wasn’t until much later, looking back on their interactions from the very first time they’d been assigned the project together that Adrianne had realized he’d done his best to make sure that he was never spotted with her. They’d met in places where it was unlikely they’d be seen by anyone he knew.

  At the time, she’d just thought it was because it would mean they wouldn’t be interrupted as they worked. Once she’d looked back on the situation without the rose-colored glasses, things had looked a lot clearer. If she’d seen things for how they really were before that awful day, she would never have approached him in the first place.

  Adrianne’s heart ached for that young girl. The one who had believed that the popular jock she’d been spending time with had managed to look beyond the awkwardness of where she had been physically at that time. She remembered how she had doodled their names together on all of her notebooks. How she would go out of her way to get a glimpse of him and how her heart would pound so hard when he shot her a quick smile when they’d see each other in the hallways at school.