Hell Inc.

by C. M. Stunich

  “I have my own sources of human currency, stupid girl. I don't need to take money from one as poor as you. I will wait, but I will not wait long. You have one hour before I will come looking for you.”

  “Excuse me, but you aren't my keeper or anything.” I protested, feeling anxious and wanting to get to the restaurant. There was some part of me that desperately wanted to see Terrence again. Levie had a look that I am sure could rival that of the most stubborn mule.

  “You've proven yourself untrustworthy,” he told me matter-of-factly. “If you cause another problem, it is my life on the line. This small incentive gives me a vested interest in your actions, does it not?” I couldn't really argue with that. I didn't blame him for being afraid of his uncle, so I gave in and said I would send the sphinx to check back with him in an hour.

  When I arrived at the brewery, the aroma of beer and hot wings drifted to me as I hung my coat on the rack just inside the door. I looked around the restaurant and spotted the group of museum staff sitting at a long table, made by pushing several smaller ones together, in the corner. They hadn't seen me yet, so I took my time examining the group and locating Terrence. He was sitting at the head of the table with Cynthia on his left and the old man who had yelled at me on his right. Great. I'd almost forgotten about them. So much for my lunch date: the worker bees are here, too.

  “Hey Ginger.” Sigh. Blake. I turned around with a fake smile on my face.

  “Good afternoon, Blake,” I said, trying not to sound irritated.

  “That group in the corner,” he nodded his chin at the museum staff. “They said that they're waiting for you.” I nodded absentmindedly as I watched Levie through the glass doors, both now uncracked. He was sitting at one of the cafe tables, reading his book and drinking something that was steaming. I just hoped he would stay there. The sphinx looked at Micheal and then walked right through him and over to the museum table.

  I recognized the exact moment they laid eyes on him. Most of the group had a look of fear sprinkled with irritation, save for Cynthia and Terrence. Cynthia looked like she was about to be violently ill and Terrence appeared intrigued. Score another point for the way too young and way too hot head curator or whatever he was. Knowing that I must be there after seeing the sphinx, Terrence looked over at Blake and me and smiled. My heart skipped a beat, and I brushed Blake off to go over to the table.

  “Hey there,” I said to Terrence, walking up to stand next to the sphinx. “Has he riddled you yet today?” Cynthia scowled at me and put her hand protectively on Terrence's wrist. He ignored her and beamed up at me.

  “Not yet, but I was hoping for one.” We both looked down at the sphinx who cocked its head to the side as if listening for something then nodded.

  “When one and one traditionally come together to make two, what is one to do with a third element?” Terrence laughed in utter delight, and I couldn't help but join in.

  “Charming,” he remarked, leaning forward and running a hand through his hair. “Absolutely fantastic. Does he ever give the answers?” I looked down at the sphinx who in turn, looked up at me and shook my head.

  “I think we're supposed to come up with them on our own.” Cynthia snapped a mirrored case she'd been checking her make-up in shut.

  “This is ridiculous. I have better things to do with my day than sit in some trashy little hole in the wall and chit chat. Terrence, can we wrap this up?” That comment in particular made me angrier than anything else she'd said thus far.

  “I'm sorry to bother you with my problems, but I've been dealing with this shit my entire life,” I snarled, slamming my hand onto the tabletop. “If you can't even handle it for one freaking day, then you're even more of a pathetic bitch than I first thought. The least that you can do is handle it for a couple of days and keep your mouth shut.” Cynthia gaped at me.

  “How dare you speak to me like that,” she sputtered and looked as if she was going to release a myriad of threats my way. Terrence turned towards her; I couldn't see his face, but whatever look he gave her silenced her immediately. I planted my hands on my hips and took a deep breath. Out of the million and one scenarios I had fathomed occurring today, this certainly wasn't it. The people at the table looked ... annoyed, tired, scared but not particularly surprised.

  “Ginger,” Terrence turned towards me again and handed me a folded newspaper that he pulled out from under his plate. “Have you seen the paper today?” I reached down slowly and tried to calm my out of control pulse. It was easy to see what he was referring to; the headline print was enormous. “MASS HYSTERIA STRIKES VISITORS AT LOCAL MUSEUM!”

  My mind read the words but refused to comprehend them. This could be completely unrelated and besides, there was more than one museum around. I forced my eyes to skim the article. “Local authorities blame museum staff for contaminated artifacts brought in from overseas ... the mass paranoia affecting visitors to the museum is resulting in group hallucinations of supernatural activity including vampires, fairies, and even angels ... if you or anyone you know has been affected, please contact your doctor and alert the Everett Police Department immediately.” I grabbed the front of Terrence's shirt.

  “Did any of your staff go to the newspaper?” I asked, eyes wide with fear. Terrence looked around the table and shook his head.

  “No, I don't think so.” He looked askance at Cynthia, who in turn, appeared rather offended.

  “Why on earth would I want anyone to think that I was hallucinating?” That at least was believable. I let go of Terrence rather abruptly and ran outside to the newspaper stand. Popping in several quarters, I ripped open the door and pulled out the day's paper. There it was, plastered unmistakably across the front page. I groaned inwardly and turned around to find Levie watching me. I ignored him and went back inside, rereading the article as I walked. If it was big enough news to be in the paper, I could only imagine what was written all over the Internet. There was probably already a Facebook page devoted to the entire event. Shit. Shit. Shit. This wish was getting worse by the minute. I threw the paper down in front of Terrence.

  “Front page, Register Guard. I wonder how many people were affected?” Terrence picked up the paper and frowned. Cynthia slammed her hand onto the tabletop.

  “Well then,” she snarled, brushing some locks of faux blond hair from her face. “I guess it's time you told us exactly what you did to these people.” The rest of the staff looked my way expectantly. “Especially considering that we're all out of a job, thanks to you.” Ouch. I guess the truth couldn't hurt. They probably wouldn't believe me anyway.

  “I wished for it.” Silence. I didn't really know what else to say. I couldn't even think of a more believable lie. “I sold my soul to the Devil for three wishes, and I accidentally wished that all of you could understand what I was going through. Since the sphinx,” I gestured at it absentmindedly. “Broke the pot, and I didn't want to be blamed for it.” Still silence. Fine then, they didn't have to believe me if they didn't want to. They just had to deal with it until I found a way to stop them from seeing what I saw. And I had to do it fast, before this got even more out of control. The amount of influence these people were giving to what they were seeing could end up being really, really bad. As of right now, the dragon I routinely spotted when driving the I-5 was only stepping over traffic.

  I took a deep breath and looked around the table. “Just relax, nothing is going to hurt you. It isn't even really in this dimension. The less attention you pay to it, the less power it has to affect anything at all.” I licked my suddenly dry lips. “I'm going to take care of this. In a couple of days it should all stop. As long as we get this taken care of quickly, everything will be fine.” The staff was still oddly silent, almost bored looking, even the old man who had yelled at me originally. Cynthia still looked angry, and Terrence looked a bit disappointed. “If none of you have anything to say,” I said, easing away from the table. “Then it's time for me to go.”

  Their lack of surprise was getti
ng to me, and the hairs on the back of my neck were starting to tickle in alarm. Why did I even agree to come here in the first place? I didn't owe them anything. I was too easily swayed by a handsome face. Just as I was about to turn and make a run for it, Terrence placed a hand on my arm.

  “Did you really meet the Devil?” he asked. I looked up, surprised.

  “Yeah, I did,” I replied, reticent to go any further. Was there even a chance he would believe me? He nodded and looked thoughtful.

  “I've read about people like you,” he said as I continued to stare at him, not sure what he was referring to exactly. “Perhaps the legends we know so well today were started by something like this in the first place.” When I didn't reply, he smiled warmly at me, making my skin heat where his hand was resting. “Ginger, I want to help you if I can, but – ” he bit his bottom lip, and I fought the urge to squeal. But damn, he was cute. “In exchange, I want you to promise me something.” I raised my eyebrows and waited for him to continue. He was taking this all unbelievably well ... He squeezed my arm lightly, and I felt my cheeks flush. I checked my watch. It hadn't been an hour yet, but I debated sending the sphinx over to Levie. The last thing I needed was him showing up here again and causing a scene.

  “What's wrong?” Terrence asked, voice soft. Cynthia made a noise of protest, but Terrence raised a hand, and she kept her mouth shut. They didn't work for the museum anymore; she needed to get over her little obedience stint. It was annoying, even though I did prefer her quiet. I ignored his question and waved the sphinx away. “Ginger, this is something I've always dreamed of. I studied history because I was always interested in the mythology of other cultures. Now, I can finally see the creatures that I've always read about. Imagine that, Ginger. A scholar of myth who can actually study what he's been researching?” This brought my mind to another question that had been bothering me.

  “How old are you?” I asked. Terrence looked surprised at the change in topic. “Because you look awfully young to be ... well, whatever it was that you were.” Terrence laughed at that and smiled fondly, as if remembering something that amused him. “I guess you could say that I've always been a bit of a know it all.” He looked at me pointedly. “How old are you, Ginger Malloy because I'm starting to worry that maybe I'm too old for you.” I blushed. I couldn't help it but really, I never blush.

  “You first.” I crossed my arms. “Besides, you know it's rude to ask a lady her age.” I smiled to let him know it was a joke. And frankly, I didn't care how old he was. I was interested and just about ready to make that promise he wanted, as soon as I knew what it was.

  “I'm twenty-seven,” he replied, cringing slightly. “Please tell me that's not too old.” I grinned at him.

  “Too old for what?” I asked. I knew I was flirting, but I couldn't help myself. Terrence didn't seem to mind. In fact, I sort of assumed he was flirting back. Cynthia muttered something under her breath, but I ignored her. The rest of the staff might as well have been invisible for all the commotion they weren't causing.

  “Promise me you won't use your other wishes until we figure this thing out?” I blinked slowly for a moment and then bit the side of my lip.

  “Well, I already kind of used one before. But I can promise not to use my third one, at least temporarily. And at least not on purpose.” I cringed at the thought of making the same mistake a third time. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me; fool me a freaking third time, God please, I hope not. Terrence nodded as if that half-assed statement had been satisfactory.

  “So,” he gave his staff a once over as he spoke. “How old are you, Ginger?” I smoothed my skirt down and adjusted my blouse. The sphinx trotted back in and shook itself, like a wet dog might to rid itself of excess water. At least I didn't have to worry about Levie for awhile. Maybe Terrence and I could move to another table, maybe we could eat together, just me and him ... My mind spun with naughty possibilities about after lunch activities.

  “What is even worse to the people of a starving village than a collapsed granary?” I ignored the sphinx and kept my attention on Terrence.

  “I'm twenty. Too young for you?” Terrence shook his head.

  “No,” he said. “That sounds about right.”

  “About right for what?” I asked flirtatiously.

  “Ginger, would you like to go out with me tomorrow?” He leaned his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his hand, head cocked to one side. “On a date, but we could still try and brainstorm a way for you to help all of these people.” He tapped the newspaper with a finger. I sort of figured that would be the last thing on my mind if I was to go on a date with him, but I nodded.

  “Sounds good, what time do you want to meet?” Terrence nodded at the other staff. As a group, they stood up together and made their way to the door. It was weird, to be sure, and maybe someone more perceptive could have gotten something out of it, but all I could do was take a small mental note. Terrence made me feel intoxicated with his presence, and it only seemed to get worse by the second.

  “I can pick you up?” he asked casually as I gave his coworkers another confused glance. I nodded and wrote my address down on a napkin, smiling as Cynthia fumed in silence. “I hope you don't mind,” Terrence said, pocketing the napkin. “But we've got some business to attend to.” He scooted his chair out, and I nodded again, slightly disappointed. On his way out, Terrence leaned down and gave me a light kiss on the cheek.

  “I left my credit card number with the manager, feel free to order something. Take care until tomorrow,” was all he said as he left with the rest of the museum staff and a horribly angry Cynthia.

  It was approximately an hour and a half, a huge plate of fries, and some beers later that I remembered Levie. Certain that I was going to pay for forgetting him for such an extended period of time, I grabbed my coat and hustled the sphinx out from under the table. I ran headfirst into his chest on the way out of the restaurant.

  “I explicitly recall asking for you to check in with me.” I grabbed Levie by the arm and pulled him into the alley next to the restaurant before anyone had a chance to see me talking to him on the sidewalk.

  “And I explicitly remember asking you not to come over here.” Levie didn't look sorry, and I figured it would be a moot point to try and argue. “Did you see today's paper?” I asked him, reaching inside my coat pocket for the folded up newspaper.

  “I have neither the reason nor the desire to read up on human events.” I rolled my eyes and handed him the piece. He read it quickly and handed it back to me. “What reason do I have to care about this? It is your problem, is it not?”

  “But you're my caseworker,” I shouted and cringed at the sound of my words echoing down the alleyway. I lowered my voice and said, “Doesn't that sort of make it your problem, too?” Levie's face was blank, and he didn't look as if he were about to speak. “Well?”

  “You've broken no rules as far as our contract goes.” Levie wrinkled his nose and cast a disparaging look at one of the dumpsters. “May we leave this place now? This sort of environment is far inferior to what I'm accustomed to. Much like your apartment.” I ignored the barb and peered around the corner to make sure no one from the brewery was coming over here on a break.

  “You can go,” I said. “The coast is clear.” Levie just stood there and stared at me.

  “And where am I supposed to be going?” He asked, stretching his wings wide, yet still being careful not to touch anything.

  “I don't know: home, the cafe, wherever. I'm going to my yoga class. I usually go on Wednesday's but that whole lunch date,” I crinkled my nose. You mean lunch/attempted murder date. “Screwed up my week. It clears my head, and I could really use some clarity right about now. I think I'm about to have a coronary.” Levie stayed where he was and glared at me. “I don't have time for this. The teacher locks the door, and you can't get in if you're late. Now, move.”

  “Why don't you just wish for a fortune and be done with this substandard p
lace? That is what most humans wish for.” Of course I had thought about that, I really had. But now ... I was sort of thinking that I was going to have to use this last wish to get out of the mess that I'd put myself in. It was far too dangerous for so many people to be focusing on supernaturals. I knew from hard won experience the sorts of things they could do if provoked.

  “If I didn't know any better,” I replied. “Then I would think you were just trying to get me to use my last wish so you could leave and go back to Hell.” Levie shrugged.

  “And that would surprise you?” It shouldn't have. It was obvious he was unhappy here and even more obvious that he didn't like me. However, I still couldn't get that kiss out of my mind. Yeah, it had been more of an insult than anything else but still ... guys don't just kiss girls they hate for no reason. Right?

  “Yeah, Levie,” I said. “It would. And you know what else would surprise me? Hmm? If you weren't at all curious about the fact that Terrence and I are going on a date tomorrow.” I spun around smartly and marched out of the alley, feeling like I'd come out of this conversation on top.

  What I didn't see was Levie lighting the dumpster and all of the nearby rats on fire. However, the later consequences of said actions were quite obvious. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to breathe through my nose correctly for several months. He'd left me alone which was nice, but the headache I had from the wail of fire engines and the stench of burnt trash sort of negated any beneficial effects that I might've had from the class. I'd just wasted ten bucks and an hour of time listening to Kundalini yoga music.

  As soon as I got out of the studio, I was looking to pick a fight with Levie. He owes me ten dollars and an iTunes gift card, I thought as I stormed down the dark sidewalk, hardly noticing the shadows that moved at my back. It wasn't until a knife tip was pressed firmly into my spine that I realized something was wrong. I stopped walking, the bag of clothes I'd fetched from my truck before class swinging back and forth on my shoulder like a pendulum. Mom was good with a knife. It was kind of scary; she had put enough pressure on the blade to hurt but not enough to pierce.