Parallelogram Omnibus Edition

by Brande, Robin

  Those days are over.

  “I don’t know how many more locations of our company you plan to visit,” Halli’s mother says, “but I’m warning you right now, I don’t want to hear about a repeat of today. Our Chief Operating Officers aren’t going to take valuable time away from their work to explain chemistry and hydroengineering to some uneducated girl who’s been living like a wild thing out in the woods for most of her life.”

  Now my blood is on full boil.

  I’m just about to argue with her about how she and Halli’s father are the ones who abandoned me when I was just an infant and let me be raised by a grandmother who took me all over the world with her because she loved me; and how the expeditions Ginny and I went on from the time I was small were amazing and dangerous and would have scared anyone else out of their wits; and how I might not be formally educated, but I can speak dozens of languages, I know how to survive in impossible conditions, I can fix broken bones and deal with infected wounds, I saved Ginny’s life at least one time that I know of and probably more; and I might be “uneducated,” but at least I know how to treat people decently, which obviously isn’t a skill Halli’s mother picked up at any of her fancy schools—

  And suddenly it hits me: Halli’s mother has just handed me the perfect gift.

  Thank you, Regina. I might not have thought of it otherwise.

  I take a few breaths to calm myself down. Then I try to sound as rational and neutral as possible.

  “I don’t want to fight with you,” I say. “I’m sorry if I took up too much of Mr. Chilton’s time today. I didn’t mean to. It’s just that once he started telling me about some of the products you and …” I don’t know how to refer to Halli’s father. She calls both her parents by their first names, but the man is too scary for that. “… you two invented, I couldn’t stop asking questions. I really want to understand more. Ginny never told me all the things you two have done.”

  I steal a glance at Jake out of the corner of my eye. I’m laying it on pretty thick here, and I wonder how it sounds. He’s looking at me with a mixture of both amusement and fascination. I keep going.

  “So it got me to thinking,” I continue. “You’re right about what you said: I am uneducated. I was always too busy following Ginny around to ever want to go to school. But now that she’s gone, I was thinking … Oxford.”

  “Oxford?” Halli’s mother repeats with a laugh. “I don’t think so.”

  Calm, stay calm …

  I smile. Even though I want to swat my hand through the holographic face in front of me.

  “Ginny knew some people there,” I say. “I’m going to go talk to some of them tomorrow.”

  “That’s ridiculous,” Halli’s mother tells me. “You’ll never get in. If you think that simply being famous is enough—”

  I don’t bother to let her finish. Mr. Chilton isn’t the only one who doesn’t like to waste time. “The only way to find out is to try. It’s late, Regina. I have to get to bed.”

  I get up from where I’m sitting and stride from the room. Since I don’t know how to turn off Jake’s tablet, it’s the best exit I can make.

  I keep on going down the stairs. Then, knowing he’ll probably follow me, I wait in the lobby. It takes him a few minutes to catch up. Halli’s mother must have had more than a few things to say to him—no doubt including some instructions for what he’s supposed to do about me now.

  “Are you really going there tomorrow?” he asks.

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll let the driver know. What time should we pick you up?” Jake smiles politely, knowing I heard the “we.”

  “I have to meet with someone at ten.”

  “We’ll pick you up at eight.”

  I narrow my eyes at him, but there’s really no point in arguing. I was never going to be able to sneak to Oxford without anyone knowing, and at least this way I’ve already announced my excuse.

  “You’re not coming to my meeting,” I say.

  “That’s fine.”

  “You’ll have to find something else to do all day.”

  “Also fine. I told you before, Halli, I knew you wouldn’t like any of this. I appreciate you letting me keep my job for a while longer.”

  “Hmm.” I turn and head toward the entryway where Sarah and Red are still waiting. “Oh, and don’t forget I’ll be bringing Red.”

  “How could I? Good night, Miss Markham.” He gives me a quick bow, just like the doorman used to whenever I went in and out of Halli’s parents’ mansion. He always acted like he was just there to do as he was told.

  I’m not buying it with Jake.

  “So, what did you two just talk about?” I ask him. “You were up there for a long time.”

  “She doesn’t think you have even the slightest chance of getting into Oxford or any other school. She thinks you’re a barbarian.”

  “What?” I answer with a laugh. I don’t think anyone’s ever called me that. I almost like the sound of it. “And what did you say?”

  “I told her she was right. You don’t even wear shoes most of the time, and I’m pretty sure you can’t read.”

  “You’re not very grateful,” I point out.

  “I am,” he says. “And I’m also very loyal.” He bows again. “See you in the morning, Miss Markham.”

  10

  It’s funny how you can start to believe your own lies.

  For half of the walk home with Sarah and Red, I’ve been fuming over what Halli’s mother said. Of course I can get into Oxford if I want! I’m smarter than she thinks. She doesn’t know anything about me!

  And then I come to my senses. I’m not trying to get into Oxford. I just want to meet the professor that Daniel and his parents talked to. I’m trying to go home. I don’t want to go to a parallel university.

  “I wish I could go with you and Daniel tomorrow.”

  “Yeah, me too,” I lie. I was happy when their parents said Daniel could miss school but Sarah couldn’t.

  “I could have watched Red again or done something for you.”

  “I appreciate you helping me out tonight.”

  “Red’s my little love, aren’t you, sweet one?” She reaches down to pat his side. Red looks up at her with a panting kind of smile. I’m glad to be here with them this time so I can spare her the betrayal of her little love ripping apart her house.

  “It’s strange how he’s made up his mind that your friend Jake is actually a five-headed dragon sent here to destroy us all.”

  That’s as good a description as any. I’ve been on the receiving end of that dog’s ferociousness. The first time I popped into Halli’s world, Red acted like he’d tear me apart. I might not have been a five-headed dragon, but I probably qualified as a space alien.

  “Red has his opinions,” I say. “But he obviously loves you.”

  “You do, don’t you, handsome boy?”

  The dog pants and wags.

  “Speaking of handsome boys,” Sarah says, “what do you have to say about our Mr. Jake? Apart from the dragon heads?”

  “He’s … okay, I guess.”

  “Oh, very high praise, indeed,” Sarah says. “I’ll reserve the wedding chapel immediately.”

  “I’m not interested.”

  “No,” she says, “I meant for me.”

  “I thought you liked Bryan.”

  “Yes, well, Bryan isn’t here, is he?”

  No, but he sure wanted to be.

  Sarah threads her arm through mine as we continue walking along. “I know you must think me the most terrible flirt. This bloke one day, the next one another … but how do you know which is the right one if you don’t chat them all up?”

  I can’t deny the wisdom of that.

  “The truth is,” she goes on, “I’ve never had a proper boyfriend.”

  “You haven’t? I find that very hard to believe.”

  “Well, tell me, Halli Markham: how would you describe a proper boyfriend?”

  I give that a lit
tle bit of thought. “Someone who only wants to go out with you …”

  “Never had it. Check.”

  “Someone who’s nice to you and treats you well …”

  “Mm, sort of had once, but not lately. Next?”

  “Someone who you like and treat well and is the only person you want to go out with …”

  “Once, and that ended very badly.”

  “How many boyfriends have you had?” I ask.

  “Were you not listening? None, by your definition. By my definition, I’ve endured two broken hearts, one enraged liver, several sprains to my pride, and at least half a dozen complete and utter failures of emotion. So judge me if you must, but until I find what I believe to be a proper boyfriend, I will continue my fervent search.”

  “You really have a way with words.”

  “Don’t I?” Sarah agrees. “Pity no one appreciates the sharp tongue of a substandard student anymore. I’d be as high up in the academic rankings as our fair Daniel.”

  Which reminds me: “What’s yorking?” I ask her.

  Sarah laughs her bright, tinkling laugh. “Oh, a very proud day that was. He won first place, don’t you know?”

  “Yes, but what is it?”

  “You should ask Daniel. If he considers you a true friend, he’ll tell you. He’s very shy, my brother—not everyone can see that. Your cousin did. She didn’t try to rush things. It’s why they’ve made such a sweet match.”

  It’s true I didn’t try to rush things. Daniel was a lot faster than I was. I was still thinking it was a really bad idea to fall for some guy in a parallel universe who I might never see again, when Daniel planted that heart-stopping kiss on me.

  Plus, to be honest, for a while in the beginning I was still nursing my thirteen-year crush on Will, the parallel version of Jake over in my world. I had to get past that before I could even look at another guy.

  And even then, even though I already liked Daniel so much, I still let myself get swept away by Jake.

  I made a lot of mistakes last time. I’m not going to repeat a single one of them.

  “You should definitely chat it up with Jake,” I tell Sarah. “You might like him.”

  You like him over in my universe. The versions of Sarah and Jake over there have been dating for a year. Although that might not be true anymore, now that she’s caught him kissing the Halli version of me.

  Wait, has that happened yet? Or is that still in the future?

  Sarah pauses in front of their house. “Is there any chance your cousin might join us after all?”

  “What? Oh, no … I don’t think so.”

  “Such a pity,” Sarah says. “He might not be showing it now, but poor Daniel has been positively morose ever since we came back. He misses Audie terribly.”

  I gather the coat around me as if it’s Daniel’s arms in the sleeves, not mine. “Really? How do you know?”

  “‘Audie said this, Audie said that … Oh, did I tell you about the time Audie and I …’ My parents have heard her name so many times, it’s as if they’ve already met her. But it’s sweet, you know? I’ve never seen my brother with a girl for longer than ten minutes.”

  “Really? Why not?”

  “Who knows?” Sarah answers. “I’ve tried to introduce him to girls from my school loads of times, but he always claims they’re too silly or too boring. Very high standards, that one. So you can imagine my relief when he actually found a girl all on his own. He falls and sprains his ankle, and magic! There she is.”

  It was sort of magical. I won’t deny it. And not only because I traveled across parallel universes to be there.

  “But he was still so slow about it,” Sarah says. “Day after day, clearly smitten, but what of it? I finally had to push him, poor lad.”

  Yes, and thank you. I remember it exactly: Sarah was teasing her brother, reminding him we only had two days left together on our trip, and he should get on with it and do something about it. “Champion idea,” he said as soon as we were alone. Then he planted a kiss on me that had me practically melting into my boots. Maybe he hasn’t had much experience, if Sarah is right, but he sure knew what he was doing that day.

  Sarah hugs herself and hops in place. “But enough of all this—it’s freezing out here, Halli Markham.”

  Not to me. I’m feeling toasty and warm.

  But Daniel is inside that house, and even though I can’t rush to his arms and declare, “I’m here! It’s me!” I’d still rather be in the same room with him than out here just talking about him.

  Besides, I have a big day tomorrow. Maybe the biggest, if everything goes right.

  It’s not every day you learn how to save your own life.

  11

  “What made you so sure it was Dr. Venn yesterday?” I ask Daniel. “How do you even know about him?”

  We’re sitting at his kitchen table, waiting for the car to arrive. Everyone else has gone off to school or work. I’ve been sipping tea and picking at the same blueberry scone for the last half hour. I don’t seem to have much of an appetite.

  It took me a while to dress, too. My options were pretty limited. Jeans and a clean flannel shirt are as good as it’s going to get. And Halli’s hiking boots, since I didn’t bring anything else.

  Barbarian.

  I thought of all the clothes in Halli’s size hanging in that enormous closet back at her parents’ mansion. Couldn’t I have packed at least one outfit from there? Even just a sweater and nicer pants and shoes that haven’t been hiking through dirt and snow?

  But then I had to get a grip on myself. Halli Markham wouldn’t care what she wore to go talk to some ancient professor. And it was just nerves making me care, anyway. Dr. Venn didn’t seem like the kind of person to notice anyone’s outfit. Considering how much he squinted, maybe he wouldn’t even be able to see it.

  “I have a tutor who’s on faculty at Cambridge,” Daniel says in answer to my question.

  “Professor Lacksmith.”

  “Yes. I don’t know if you’re aware, but there’s a bit of a rivalry between Oxford and Cambridge. Competition for new discoveries, number of awards, distinguished faculty—that sort of thing.”

  “There are colleges like that in …” I almost say, my world, but catch myself in time. “… America, too.”

  “So you know it can be a friendly competition as well. Scholars sharing ideas and collaborating.”

  “Sure,” I say. “So have Lacksmith and Venn collaborated on something?”

  “No, theirs is a different sort of connection,” Daniel says. “More of an affinity. You have to understand: some fields are highly respected. Others are not. My tutor and Dr. Venn belong to the latter.”

  “What’s their field?” I ask.

  “It’s called the Philosophical Sciences. They develop theories, some of which may never be susceptible of testing.” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, let me put it more plainly—”

  “No, I understand,” I say. Audie understands. “It’s like theoretical physics. There are a lot of ideas that are based on just the math of what might be possible, but there’s no practical way to actually test them in the real world. Quantum physics is full of theories like that. The idea of parallel universes was one of those. Until …you know, Audie set out to prove it.”

  Daniel gives me a strange look for a second. But then he goes on. “Doctors Venn and Lacksmith have shared their ideas with one another over the years, and sometimes one or the other will devise experiments to test their particular theories. Professor Lacksmith has told us about some of them. So when you were describing an Oxford professor who might be involved in fringe science, as my mother called it, I thought of Dr. Venn. And now it’s my turn.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Headaches? Death? Parallel universes? ‘There isn’t much time’? What’s going on, Halli? Are you or Audie in some kind of danger?”

  I’ve been waiting for it. Daniel isn’t stupid. Nor deaf. I’ve been waiting for him to ask me since last
night.

  But we haven’t been alone until now. The house really is tiny—Sarah wasn’t kidding—and it seems like everyone is always within earshot.

  And while I’ve been waiting for the question, I’ve been trying out answers on myself, testing whether I think I would believe them if I were Daniel.

  Because what does he know about what’s happened so far in this version of our history? The last time he saw Halli before yesterday, they hiked out of the Alps together and said goodbye at a train station. She looked perfectly healthy then. So did I, when he said goodbye to me at the top of the trail. No one was having any headaches, no one was in trouble—so what was I talking about?

  Liars are always welcome at my table …

  “It’s something Professor Whitfield told Audie,” I say. “He was doing research, and he found some reference in some obscure medical journal about a patient who had these excruciating headaches and claimed they were from traveling back and forth to a parallel universe.”

  “Well done, Professor,” Daniel says with a smile. “Although I’m not keen on either of you having excruciating headaches.”

  “Yeah, no kidding,” I say. “So the professor wants to do some additional testing on Audie while the two of us are communicating to make sure there’s nothing odd going on with her brain.”

  “I don’t like the sound of that.”

  “We don’t, either. That’s why I offered to help in any way I can. It turns out the doctor in that medical journal consulted with some professor at Oxford, and between them they figured out the solution.”

  “Which was?” Daniel asks.

  “Not in the published paper, unfortunately.”

  Daniel groans. I’m happy for the brief break. He’s been asking exactly the kinds of questions that he should, but I can’t say I’ve been ready for all of them. This whole interrogation is making me sweat.

  “So anyway,” I say, plunging ahead, “we know it’s a long shot, but Professor Whitfield wanted me to see if maybe I can find that professor over in this universe.”