Finding Out (novella)

by Lila Rose

  It was ten-to-eleven by the time I was dressed. I had changed so many times, I was sure I had whiplash. In between wardrobe changes, I remembered I’d forgotten to check my letter box on Friday. As I walked back into the house, I found another weird letter. That one stated, again, that I was disgusting and I’d be soon paying for my behaviour. I seriously had an effed-up family. Someone—probably a certain cousin who didn’t want me at her wedding so my mum would be pissed at me—was playing stupid tricks on me and I was becoming unbelievably annoyed by it. With a sigh, I threw it in the bin and grabbed something quick to eat. After I put Trixie out in the backyard for the day, I was walking toward my room for my purse when the front doorbell rang. Squealing under my breath, I couldn’t have Fox hearing I was too eager I ran-walked to the front door, dressed in jeans and a white-and-blue checked cowgirl blouse.

  As soon as I had the door opened, I was encased in strong tattooed arms. “Fuck, what in the hell have you done to me?” Fox growled into my hair above my ear.

  “Huh?” I questioned.

  He placed his forehead against mine, his hooded eyes bore into mine. “It was damn hard to leave this mornin’. All I could think about was getting’ back to you. I don’t do this feelin’ shit. Well, I hadn’t for a fuckin’ long time until you.” He closed his eyes. “Or this talkin’ shit,” he chuckled.

  There went my heart again. It swooned big time for this man in front of me. This scary biker man holding me tenderly.

  “I’m glad then, because you have turned me upside down and inside out with feelings.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and gently, slowly pulled his face closer to mine and whispered, “I like the way you make me feel, Fox Kilpatrick, a lot.” Then I kissed him on my front porch for anyone to see.

  He moved a step away and snapped, “Jesus, woman. Go get your shit so we can go or I’ll be draggin’ you inside to fuck you.”

  Turning my head on the side, I asked, “And that would be a problem how?”

  He smirked, shook his head and said, “Nope, I told my brothers I’d be bringin’ someone. They think I’m lying.” He ran a finger from my temple down and across my bottom lip. “I need to prove the fuckers wrong. Let’s go, cupcake.”

  I gulped, bit my lip and then uttered, “Y-your brothers, as in, you’re biker brothers from your group.”

  He snorted and then chuckled, bringing me back into his arms. “Yeah, precious, my biker brothers, but it’s called a club, not a group. You don’t hav’ta worry about anythin’ though. Nothin’ will happen to you. I won’t let it,” My body warmed, not from just his touch, but from his protectiveness. “Besides,” he continued, “Hell Mouth, Wildcat and the gay dude will be there.”

  The gay dude I understood. I pulled back to ask, “Hell Mouth? Wildcat?”

  “Shit, that’s what the brothers’ call ‘em. I’m talking about Deanna, she’s Hell Mouth, and Zara, the boss’s misses, is Wildcat.”

  Giggling, I said, “I can understand Hell Mouth, but Zara as Wildcat?”

  “There’s a story behind it, but Wildcat can explain it to you. We hav’ta get movin’”

  “I’ll grab my purse. Meet you at the car,” I said quickly and took off to do just that. Excitement blossomed in my chest; I was getting to see Fox in his group—sorry, club situation.

  As I climbed into his truck, I asked, “So do I get a nickname? I mean, will everyone call me cupcake there too?”

  “Christ, no. Well, they better not. That’s my name for you. I’m sure the brothers will think of somethin’ else.”

  I beamed at him and uttered, “Cool.”

  He chuckled. “Fuck me, you are too cute.”

  Chapter Five

  I had the time of my life. To start with, I’d been scared shitless when I walked into what they called a compound. It was where all biker business and meetings were attended to. The dimly lit hallway kind of freaked me out, but then we came to a large room that held a bar, couches, tables, chairs and games. It was filled with people standing around shooting the breeze.

  What also freaked me out was when we entered; Fox was in front, dragging me behind him with his hand in mine. I came to a stop beside him. If it wasn’t for the music playing, I would have heard cricket’s chirping. The laughter and talking stopped; they all turned to take in Fox and me.

  I was just about to take a step back and flee when Fox’s arm came around my shoulders, He leaned his head in and whispered against my temple, “It ain’t you they’re starin’ at. Okay, they are, but it’s ‘cause I don’t bring women here. Never have, never thought I would,” he pulled away and looked into my eyes, “until you.”

  Smiling up at him, I reached my hand out, forgetting that we had a large audience and cupped his face. I said, “You keep being nice to me, you won’t get rid of me.”

  He winked and said, “Good.”

  It was then someone boomed, “Well, fuck me.” A guy around Fox’s age came up to us. Damn it to hell. He was good looking. He held out his hand, and as I shook it, he said, “Good to fuckin’ meet you, the killer charmer. I’m Stoke.” He beamed, then let go of my hand when Fox glared at him, causing him to chuckle.

  Before I could respond to the biker, three other men walked up, and shit a brick, all of them were good looking, tattooed, biker men. “Hey, Ivy, Zara’s told me all ‘bout you. I’m Talon, her man. This is Griz, Deanna’s man, and Blue,” spunky Talon said. Again, I didn’t get to reply because Talon turned to Fox and said, “Never thought I’d see the fuckin’ day.” He gave a chin lift and added, “It’s good, brother.”

  Stoke cleared his throat and asked me, “What in the hell are you doin’ with this ugly fucker? Baby, I could treat you better.”

  I knew he was teasing, but that didn’t stop me, especially because they were all good looking, which made me nervous. I said the first thing that popped into my head and then, once again, I continued spewing words, “Because he gave me multiple orgasms last night,” I gasped. My hand flew to my mouth. Talon, who was sipping his beer, choked on it. Griz gawfed, Blue burst out laughing, Stoke beamed a mega-watt smile at me and Fox’s arm, around my shoulders, gave me a squeeze.

  “Holy shit. I’m so sorry. That was rude, and private. I shouldn’t have said it, but you see, I get nervous around good looking people and you’re all...” I waved my hand at them, “good looking, though...” I paused and leaned in, bringing Fox with me because his arm was still around my shoulders. Noticing they didn’t lean in toward me, I went on and whispered, “I’m sorry to say this, but Fox is way better.” Standing up straight, I added, “Still, I get nervous and I can’t help it. I’ve always been like that. To make it up to you for saying that you’re not as good looking as Fox, you can all come to my café. I’ll give you some cupcakes.” I nodded and smiled.

  “Fuck me, I missed out again,” Blue grumbled and walked off.

  Glancing at the other three men, who looked like they all wanted to laugh, I turned to look up at an amused Fox and asked, “Did I say something wrong? I mean besides the orgasm part, but something to upset him?”

  “No, cupcake,” he smiled.

  “He’s just jealous Killer got a woman before him,” Stoke answered.

  “Oh, well, I have a friend—”

  Stoke stepped forward and growled, “Do not tell him that. Let’s keep it between you and me for now. I’d love to fuckin’ meet her,” he smiled. I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “Hey, woman, good to see you here,” Deanna said as she came up beside Griz and placed her arm around his waist. His arm automatically went around her shoulders, where he brought her in closer.

  “Hi, Hell Mouth,” I smiled.

  She glared at me and then Killer, but turned back to me and ordered, “Ivy, I ain’t Hell Mouth to you—”

  “No, but she’ll answer to slutguts, wench, hooker, sin eater...haven’t we been through this? Anyway, she’ll answer to just about anything else really.” Julian smiled at me as he walked up to our group with a very sexy man be
side him. “This is Mattie, my partner and Zara’s brother.”

  “Hi.” I smiled and held out my hand to shake. He shook it and said, “It’s nice to meet you.”

  Julian clapped with glee and announced, “We need a nickname for you.” He then went on pondering it.

  “Bitchface?” Deanna offered. I glared at her, but it was Fox who hissed, “You better fuckin’ not.”

  Deanna smiled. “Relax, killer, I was just jesting.”

  “Chatter,” Talon said.

  “Ooooh, good one, Hawk-eye,” Julian said.

  “Definitely suits her,” Griz laughed.

  A blush finally rose to my cheeks from my earlier comments.

  “Come on, Chatter. Let’s go see what Zara’s doing with the tribe of kids. You can meet her and Mattie’s parents too.” Julian grinned a cheeky I-know-something-you-don’t grin. I looked to Fox who grimaced. Were Zara and Mattie’s parent that bad?

  “Fox?” I asked.

  “Brace yourself, cupcake, brace. You think the three you met yesterday were in any way crazy...wait till you meet Wildcat’s mum.”

  “She isn’t that bad,” Mattie offered.

  Julian turned to his man, took both of his hands and said gently, “My sweet, sexy man, you are a part of her loins, so maybe you don’t see it so much. But your dear mother is cray-cray, in a sweet, want to choke her way.”

  Mattie shuddered. “Please never talk of her loins again.”

  “I second that.” Talon glared.

  “But,” Julian added, “alas, we love her. We truly do because she made two beautiful children. Isn’t that right, Cap’,” Julian asked Talon.

  I giggled at him. Julian had been right. These bikers were scary, but once you were in their fold, you could see the love they had for their partners...or else there was no way in hell Julian would get away with anything he said or did.

  I smiled up at Fox, who was grinning back down at me. Does that mean I’m a part of this fold because of this man? Yes, it does. I’m not ashamed to admit I really like that. Fox just touched his mouth to mine when Julian said, “Oh no, once you two start, I’ll have to pry you both apart with a crowbar.” He tugged me away from Fox’s arms. I laughed when I saw the deathly glare Fox was sending Julian, who ignored it, saying to me, “I know it’s all new and sweet, my little rose petal, but he has to know he’s got to share you with us. It’s what we do, and besides, I’m sure, by the way he watches you take everything in, you’ll be getting more action between the sheets tonight.”

  I sure hope so.

  With Deanna and Mattie following, Julian led me by my hand to the back yard. That was where I met the loud, funny, quirky, hot-man crazed Nancy, and the sweet, mild-mannered, caring Richard. I also got to meet Cody, Maya, Drake and Ruby, all of them cute in their own way. Cody being the oldest definitely took his role seriously. He watched the twins like an eagle, while he also played cards with Maya. Then I met Swan, Deanna and Griz’s gorgeous little girl, who had a white head of hair. She came up with a young girl name Josie. I found out later Josie’s ordeal. It was no wonder she was quiet. I was happy to hear that Zara’s parents had adopted her.

  The men came outside to start cooking and drinking...well, more than they were inside. Often I felt eyes on me, and every time I searched, I saw Fox watching me with a small smile upon his sexy face. If I was butter, I would have melted into a puddle.

  We ate at the picnic benches outside in the warm sun. I had the best day getting to know everyone, even the other bikers seemed less and less scary to me by the end of the day. In the end, I was becoming more comfortable with them all and only had a few slip ups of talking too much around good looking people. What was the best though was the fact that they thought nothing of it. They all accepted me as I came and I think that had a lot to do with the man I was with. I could sense that they all wanted Fox to be happy, and for some reason, they thought I was the one who was capable of doing it. I found out later, just before Fox and I left, why.

  Stoke came up to me while I waited for Fox to finish talking to Talon off to the side. He stood beside me, his face serious and said, “I never thought I’d see my brother smiling again.” He turned to look at me. “Keep doin’ what your doin’. Be sweet, just like you are. We can all see it. We all wish we had it, but I’m fuckin’ glad that it was Killer who got it. That got you. Best fuckin’ bet I ever made. Making him go through it was hard, but now that he has and I see the outcome...fuck, it makes me so fuckin’ happy. He’s had shit in his past, which was why he was a man who didn’t talk, who didn’t give a shit about a lot of things. It’s different now.” He took my shaking hand. I hated the thought of Fox having anything shit in his life. “I just want to thank you. You’ve brought him back to us. If you need anything, ever, just ask. We’re more than willing to help.”

  Tears filled my eyes. “Thank you,” I whispered. “But, um...what kind of shit do you mean...for his life?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “Just normal stuff. Parents were arseholes, girlfriend died. That shit, but it’s up to Killer to tell you it all.”

  “Okay,” I uttered.

  He squeezed my hands and said, “Okay.” Then he smiled and let go of my hand just as Fox came up beside us.

  “Everything all right, brother?” Fox asked.

  “Sure, sure.” Stoke grinned. “Just askin’ your old woman if she wanted to dump your arse.”

  Fox arched an eyebrow, shook his head and looked to me.

  “I said I wouldn’t.” I smiled and added quietly, “Ever.”

  Fox’s eyes warmed. He stepped up to me and draped his arm around my shoulders. Walking off, arm still around me, Fox said over his shoulder to Stoke, “Later, brother.”

  Stoke chuckled and replied with, “Later, you lucky fucker.”

  Fox drove us back to my house where he got out of his car with a bag in his hand and walked me inside.

  In my house, I alternated between chewing on my bottom lip and biting my fingernails as I walked into the kitchen. Fox went to the back door and let a very happy Trixie into the house.

  Yes...swoon.

  After giving Trixie a rubdown, he stood and looked at me. I caught the heated look as my eyes flittered from the floor, to his bag, to him and back all over again. My mind was busy pondering....feelings, thoughts that worried me.

  “You mind if I stay the night?”

  I looked over at him, standing there with Trixie at his parted feet; he had his hands on his hips and a scowl now upon his face. Was he worried I was going to say no? There was no way I could, and to be honest, that was one thought that was scaring me a little.

  “Does it worry you that this is weird?” I asked, though I didn’t wait for an answer. I went on while looking at the floor. “And I mean weird because we’ve just met each other and I don’t like the thought of not being around you. Oh, God, that sounds scary. I’m not crazy. I’m not going to be calling you all the time, questioning you. I promise, but it...all this is kind of scary. I’ve had boyfriends in the past,” I thought I heard a growl, “but I felt nothing for them like what I feel for you, even after one day and it’s scary. We hardly know each other. Shouldn’t I be putting distance between us? Playing hard to get? But I’ve already slept with you, and hell, it was the best sex I’ve ever had, like ever. Dammit, I’m sorry my mouth flies off on its own. I really have to learn to shut-up. I like your friends by the way. I really like them...not as much as I like you of course.” I giggled. “That’s just silly. They’re really nice and you all care for one another...it’s good to see—”

  “Ivy,” Fox growled low in his throat.

  I stood straight and turned to him. I looked at his throat, afraid I had just bumbled my way out of this...whatever this was with my stupid words.

  “Look at me,” he ordered. I did. His eyes were intense, only I couldn’t work out exactly what the intensity meant. “First, I fuckin’ love your ramblings. If you didn’t do it, I wouldn’t know how you’re feeling about
this shit between us, and second, you seem to tell the truth every damn time. Never stop and never make excuses for it. Third, yes it scares me how I feel about you because I hate the thought of having you out of my sight. It’s serious, but it’s good. And Four and fuckin’ final because I want in between those sweet legs of yours...I’m glad you like my brothers and their women and families, because if you didn’t, it wouldn’t have worked between us. This is who I am. Those are my people and I can’t change that.”

  “I would never ask you to,” I said.

  “Good,” he barked and then he came at me.

  Talking time was over.

  Chapter Six

  Picking me up, I wrapped my arms and legs around him. His mouth met mine and we kissed, hard, heavy and heated while he carried me down the hall to my bedroom. With his hands on my butt, he ground his jean-clad, hard cock against my core. I arched, threw my head back and moaned.

  “Fox, I need you inside me,” I demanded.

  He let my legs fall to the floor, his hands on my arms steadying me. After he knew I wouldn’t collapse in a puddle of turned-on goo, he moved his hands to rip my cowgirl shirt from my body. In return, I pulled off his top. Our breaths were heavy with desire. I would never get enough of this beautiful specimen in front of me.

  Fox reached out again and undid my jeans. He pulled them roughly from my body. Not that I minded in the slightest because I was just as rough getting his jeans off him. Though, as I was kneeling down, helping him get his feet out of his jeans I came face to face with his sausage, which looked ready to be eaten. I wound my hand around his large length. He hissed through clenched teeth. I smiled up at him as I slowly took his cock in my mouth.

  “Fuck,” he growled. “Damn, I love your mouth.” He watched me with hooded eyes as I bobbed up and down, running my tongue all around his cock. The way he was watching me had me reaching with my other hand between my legs. A shiver ran over my body as I touched my clit. I spread my pussy lips wider and dipped two fingers into my drenched centre, moaning around Fox’s dick. He gripped my hair tightly; the small amount of pain turning me on even more. I’d never had a lover do that before, never felt pain while being intimate. I decided, right then, it was something I was more than willing to explore.