Second Nature (When Seconds Count)

by D. L. Roan

“Rebecca!” Grant watched as a rather large man wearing the standard bureau get-up raced through the front entrance and tackled the redhead with a lip-locking embrace. How nice. If it had been any other time and place he still wouldn’t have given a fuck. He needed to see Thalia now.

  “Thalia!” His head felt a little light as he followed Daniel, pushing and shoving their way into the club. Someone snagged his arm and he turned to see lover boy barreling down on him.

  “Lieutenant?”

  “Keller?” Jesus, he didn’t have time for this. “Where’s Thalia?”

  “You know her?” Grant nearly growled at the man. He was still losing blood. He didn’t think he had the strength to fight a piss-ant, but in the next three seconds he was going to start throwing punches if he didn’t get to Thalia. Luckily lover boy took the hint and showed him through the crowd in the main lobby. “Right this way.”

  The crowd thinned the deeper inside the club they went until finally they emerged inside a dimly lit room crawling with tactical agents. The first person he saw was Jauhar, sitting comfortably on a plush lounge as if he owned the world. What blood he had left in his body screamed through his veins. He took three giant strides toward the cocksucker, hell bent on complete destruction when he froze, the sound of Thalia’s gasp stopping him in his tracks.

  “Thalia? Oh, thank Christ! You’re alive.” He rushed to her side and enfolded her broken body in his arms. Oh my God. His heart beat like a drum inside his chest, his entire body responding to her touch as if she were the very thing that gave him life. “I’m so sorry, fossa.” He rocked her in his arms, trying desperately not to crush her. “So, so sorry.” He couldn’t get close enough. His body, his soul, ached to feel her and now that she was finally where she belonged he would never let her go. “I’m so damn sorry. I love you so much. I should have never left you.”

  She let out a whimper, her body trembling violently against his. Immediately his body recoiled and he loosened his hold. “Oh God. I’m such an idiot. You need a doctor and I’m bleeding all over you.”

  Her forehead fell against his bare chest, her fingernails digging into his arms like talons as a heart-stopping wail of pain and rage spewed from her lungs. “Get away from me!”

  In her feeble retreat, she stumbled. Grant reached out to catcher but she slapped at his hands, screaming and kicking like an animal for him to release her. What the hell is wrong with her? Oh fuck. He’d heard her tormented screams over the cell line. Had they pushed her over the edge? Had she finally been driven mad? “Fossa, don’t fight. You’re okay. I’ve got you. I swear, baby, I’ll fix this. You don’t have to be afraid of me. You know that.”

  “Don’t touch me you bastard!” She was so weak he barely felt the slap to his face.

  It was his heart that ached to the point of breaking as Daniel ripped her from his arms and pushed him away. “Get away from her, Grant. I can’t take seeing her like this.”

  She clung to Daniel, a ferocious hatred flaring in her eyes as she watched him through the strands of matted hair that covered her face. No. This is not happening. “Thalia, please. I don’t understand.”

  “Did you think I would not tell her?” Jauhar chuckled, a sadistic tone of satisfaction lacing his words. Grant turned to see a matching superior smirk on his face as he stood from his seat. Guards quickly surrounded him, their guns at the ready.

  “Tell her what?” His head whipped back around to where Thalia stood, barely able to hold her own weight as she leaned into Daniel’s protective embrace. He’d never seen her so broken. “What lies did he tell you, Thalia?”

  “It’s not a lie!” She coughed on a sob and it took every ounce of strength he had left to hold himself back from her. “You’re a murderer!”

  Grant’s world dropped out from beneath his feet. What was left of his heart exploded inside his chest, shattering into tiny shards and cutting away at his insides like a million razor-sharp blades. She knew. She knew about Issa and the look of disgust on her face was exactly as he imagined it would be. She was right. He was a murderer; a heartless monster. He had no right, no moral ground to stand on, but he needed her to understand. “Thalia, I…I was a coward. I should have told you, but I knew I’d lose you. I didn’t know. Not until I found his grave. I only left because I know how much you loved him. I knew you would never understand why I had to kill him. You have every right to—”

  “Lies!” Christ, he didn’t know if he could take this much longer. Every second that ticked by the pain and hatred in her eyes grew that much deeper. “I meant nothing to you! You hear me? Nothing!” Each of her words hit him square in his soul with enough force to make him stumble back several steps. “The only thing you ever wanted was that thumb drive!”

  “That’s not true!” Holy fuck, how could she believe that? “Is that what he told you? That I killed Issa for the thumb drive?” No longer able to stand under the weight of her accusations he fell to his knees, for the first time in his life prepared to beg. He didn’t give a rat’s ass who saw him. He would do whatever it took to make the torment in her eyes disappear. “Thalia, please. You don’t have to forgive me, because I don’t deserve it. But please, please believe me. I swear to you. I did not know about the thumb drive until I met you! I would never betray your trust that way.”

  In a move so quick no one saw it coming, Thalia snatched Keller’s gun from his holster and leveled it at Grant. The room erupted in chaos, guns being drawn as curses flew from every direction. He didn’t so much as flinch when she stared down the barrel at him, raw and naked fury blazing in her eyes. He closed his eyes, no longer able to battle the sorrow that filled her soul. If sending him to hell would end her torment then he would gladly let her. She, more than anyone, deserved her revenge. She deserved to live a life free of pain and regret. She deserved someone who could heal the wounds left behind by so, so many; his mark the deepest of them all.

  “Why else would you kill Issa?”

  He was struck by the tone of doubt in her voice, giving him little hope she would ever believe him. As significant as it would be to some, it wouldn’t matter to her. He didn’t give a damn about his oath of complete secrecy. It was all bullshit. Secrets had destroyed her life. After nearly dying in that explosion he had decided to tell her everything. There were going to be no secrets between them, ever. She deserved to know his enemies. Above all else she deserved the truth.

  He raised his head, opening his eyes to see her standing on her own, her shoulders squared back, the strength of a warrior shining through her pain as she stared down at him. At that moment he was in complete awe of her. No matter what this miserable world threw at her, she would never quit fighting. She would never lose the woman he had come to love beyond all reason. Closing his eyes, he took a deep, satisfied breath. He wanted that image of her to be the last he would see.

  “Senator Collins lobbied for and sanctioned the hit on Issa. He signed the request and the executive office approved it. My orders were to kill on sight.”

  “That’s why you wanted the thumb drive delivered to him.” Keller’s booming voice echoed above the quiet chaos in him mind. “Because he ordered the hit, you suspected he was working with Jauhar and would move to inform him. If the Senator was clean, the intel would be classified and dealt with using standard intel protocol.” His eyes remained closed, confirming Keller’s assumption only with a nod. “Jauhar ordered his death and Collins used you and the Federal Government to do his bidding.”

  Grant swallowed hard, knowing he could be speaking his last words. He didn’t want them to be about politics or death, but he needed Thalia to know the complete truth. “I don’t regret killing him, Thalia. Not then and certainly not now. Not when I know the truth of what he’s done to you and so many others. I only regret the pain I’ve—”

  The sound of a single gunshot was quickly followed by two more. The air burst from Grant’s lungs in a rush as shock and adrenaline poisoned the depleted blood supply left in his veins. He toppled forward
into a heap on the floor, an unfamiliar, icy sensation creeping into his limbs. He heard shouts and curses, felt the vibration of the crush of people as they rushed the room, but he felt strangely disconnected from all the madness. Almost as if he was weightless and somehow floating above them all.

  Thalia’s sobs finally broke through the haze of his confusion. Grant opened his eyes to see Jauhar lying on the floor across from him, his cold, lifeless eyes ironically accentuated by a single bullet hole between them. She killed him. She had spared his life and killed the monster that had started it all.

  Darkness flirted with his vision as he teetered on the edge of consciousness. His hooded gaze darted to Thalia, her unbearable sobs filling his ears as she lay collapsed over Daniel’s motionless body.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Grant sat in a rented sedan and watched the sun burn away the morning fog. In a strange sort of way he missed this place, but he didn’t think he could ever live on the mainland. As sprawling as the Montana Mountains were, it still felt too crowded, especially in small towns such as this one, with everyone knowing your every move the moment you made it. No thanks. He’d lived in the shadows too long to appreciate that kind of intimacy in his life.

  He had promised himself a million times he wouldn’t come here. He’d spent thousands of dollars on plain tickets he never used. Normally he wouldn’t get beyond the packing stage before he talked himself out of it and cancelled the flight. Other times he had sat at the terminal and watched as the other passengers boarded the plane, ignoring the flight attendant’s calls for him to board until they finally gave up and closed the boarding ramp. Those were the worst. He would sit and watch the plane take off, wondering what it would feel like to be on it, knowing he was that much closer to the woman who owned his heart and soul.

  He had no idea if she was even here or if she would see him if she was. He’d spoken to Daniel only once, a few weeks after he had been released from the hospital. One of Keller’s men had taken his orders to keep Jauhar alive quite seriously and tried to take out Thalia before she fired that fatal shot. Daniel saw it coming and stepped in front of the bullet, a dedicated father protecting his only daughter.

  When he spoke to Daniel he’d said she hadn’t spoken a word since he had brought her home from Navi; to Daniel or anyone else. She’d locked herself away in her mind, completely closing herself off from the world around her. Grant understood the need. Sometimes the only way to figure things out was to silence all the other voices that were shouting the answers so loud you couldn’t make sense of any of them. Unlike Daniel, he wasn’t worried. His girl was a fighter. He’d seen it that day, and every day since. Any time he closed his eyes she was there, standing over him with the strength of the world at her back.

  Nearly six months had passed since that day in Navi. He had told himself time and again that she didn’t deserve him traipsing back into her life, but he had to know. He couldn’t crush the burning need to see for himself that she was alive and happy. To know that, above all else, she knew he loved her. It astonished him that he could feel it so deeply, so definitely, when before he’d met her he had mocked love’s existence. He was resigned to the fact it may never be returned. Love, as it turned out, is a more fickle bitch than fate. It haunts your dreams and plays games with your mind, using sleight of hand tricks to make you see the person you love in everything; on every crowded street, in every passing car, beside you in your empty bed. It was enough to make him go mad until he simply couldn’t take it anymore and got on that damn plane.

  Now he was sitting on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere, staring at a quiet country house where he hoped he would find the answers he sought. A flash of light in his rear view mirror caught his attention. The large, blue pick-up truck slowed as it approached, the tinted passenger window lowering as it came to a stop beside his car.

  “Are you going to go in? Or sit out here all day and bake in the sun like a cow pie?”

  “Hey, Cade. Nice to see you again. I think.” He should have known Cade would make him. He was nothing if not a spook. He might be reaching the start of his golden years, but there was no such thing as a retired spy. If he ever did decide to move here, he would definitely have to buy an English-to-Spook-Hick dictionary.

  “Follow me.”

  Here goes nothing. His palms were sweaty, clenched in a white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel as he approached Cade and Daniel’s house from the long gravel drive. He pulled to a stop next to Cade’s truck and cut the engine. He sat there a moment, staring out the windshield, still wondering if he was doing the right thing when two young boys ran out the front door and greeted Cade.

  “Uncle Cade, look what mom let us bring!” They held up something Grant couldn’t see from where he sat in the car. He was astonished at how much the McLendon twins had grown in the year or more since he’d first met them. Judging by the looks of it, Gabby had grown quite a bit, too. Again he was struck by how odd it felt not to call her Claira. She was as beautifully innocent as ever standing on the front porch, her hand shielding her eyes from the early morning sun as she tried to make out who he was.

  There was no use in prolonging this disaster. With a deep, anxious breath, he opened the door and pushed to his feet. Gabby’s excited, inquisitive expression fell from her face. He didn’t miss how her hand instinctively covered her swollen belly, her maternal instincts warning her of danger. He tried not to take it personally, but he couldn’t deny that it stung a just a little.

  “Grant?”

  He nodded silently, hanging back by the car to give her some space and time to adjust to his unexpected appearance. To his complete and utter shock she let out a squeal and ran down the steps, engulfing him in a hug with more strength than a woman her size should have.

  “Grant Kendal, I’m so glad to see you.” When Mason McLendon stepped onto the porch, Grant carefully set her on her feet, unsure of how he would be received by her three protective husbands. They hadn’t exactly hit it off the last time he was here.

  “Matt! Grey! Get your butts out here! We have company.” Mason descended the stairs and came to stand by his wife’s side. “Grant. Long time no see.” He held out his hand and Grant took it, giving it a stiff shake.

  “Yeah, I uh…Jesus, is the entire town here?” This was a mistake. He couldn’t do this. Not in front of so many people.

  “Already? Matt, did you put the wrong time on the invita—?” Grey McLendon’s words trailed off when he locked eyes with Grant, his footsteps faltering to a stop at the edge of the first step.

  “Nah, not the whole town. Not yet anyway.” Mason turned and waved for his brothers to join them. “It’s Con and Car’s birthday. We’re having a pool party here this afternoon because, well, Cade and Daniel’s place has the pool. Daniel’s out picking up the cake and some other supplies. He should be back around lunchtime.”

  Grant heard what Mason was saying, but his eyes never left Grey’s as he made his way down the steps and stood behind Gabby, slinging a protective arm around her shoulders.

  “Grey. Matt.”

  “Grant, nice to see ya again.” Matt shook his hand, but he could still feel Grey’s icy stare. “I gotta say I never thought I’d be sayin’ that.”

  He looked back at Grey and nodded. “Never thought I would be hearing it.”

  “Oh, stop it. Both of you.” Gabby shrugged off Grey’s arm and took Grant’s hand, pulling him into another embrace as she steered him toward the house. “He’s still a little over protective, especially since, well, I guess there’s no sense in hiding it. The moment we found out I’m carrying twins he’s pretty much been impossible. Just give him a few minutes. He’ll come around.”

  By the time Daniel handed him a glass of whisky later that night, Grant was ready to find the bottom of the bottle. There must have been a thousand screaming kids in that pool at one point in the afternoon. Between Gabby barking out orders to both the kids and her men, and expecting Grey to corner him at every t
urn, his nerves were shot. He’d take a sniper rifle and drug lord any day over this chaos.

  “You’re looking a little fried.” He took the glass from his friend’s hand and gulped down the amber fire in a single swallow. Daniel laughed and poured him another.

  “Gabby has changed. A lot. I didn’t expect her to be so…comfortable around me. It’s a far cry from the last time I saw her.” Christ! They had skirted talking about Thalia all day, but it seemed impolite not to acknowledge the people who had played such an important role in her recovery. The tension in his neck eased only marginally as the alcohol began to burn through his veins. It’s not that he didn’t care about Daniel and his new family, but he needed to know what the hell was going on with Thalia. No one had even mentioned her and it was driving him mad.

  “That she has.” Daniel raised his glass in a mock toast before he threw back his head and drained the glass. “I haven’t seen the ghosts in her eyes in very long time. Those men keep them pretty spooked.”

  “I bet they do.” Fuck, he sucked at small talk. “What about you? I assume the surgery went well or you wouldn’t be standing here.”

  Daniel chuckled, lifting another glass of whiskey in the air. “To outstanding spinal surgeons and kick-ass physical therapists.” He placed the cap back on the bottle and stashed it back inside the cabinet below the bar. “She’s been gone for nearly two months.”

  Grant froze, the glass half way to his lips. Thank fuck they were done ignoring the hell out of the elephant on the room. “What do you mean gone?”

  He watched as Daniel paced to the window and peered into the darkness. “She’s improved a lot since we last spoke. Started seeing a therapist in Billings once a week. She eventually came out of her shell and began socializing with the family. She and Gabby hit it off immediately.”

  Grant’s heart sang with the news, but he’d always known she would come out of that nightmare stronger than she’d ever been. “Where did she go, Daniel? I have to see her.” He felt a sudden, incredible sense of fear. One moment he was holding his breath waiting for Daniel to tell him, the next he was praying he wouldn’t, because that meant getting on another plane and starting the process all over again.