by Jim Sano
Amy looked out at the seagulls landing on the choppy ocean waves. “Maybe it’s because I get that same feeling from you too.” They walked the rest of the loop without saying much, not realizing how very much alike they were dealing with difficult feelings.
David drove Amy to his apartment, where he knew he could get her out of her shell with Trooper eagerly jumping up to let her hug him and rub his head. No matter how hard she tried not to smile, she couldn’t help herself once the door opened and Trooper greeted her with his tail wagging.
“Do you want to take him for a walk? I’m sure he’d love it.”
Amy nodded and retrieved his leash from the hall closet and the three of them walked down the Beacon Street brick sidewalks, weaving around the other walkers. The silence between them was less awkward with Trooper being the center of attention but her answers to his questions were still short and reserved.
Later David and Amy set out for Fenway Park, a short twenty-minute walk from his apartment. Amy liked going to Fenway, partly because it was a tradition and partly because she loved to people watch while the game was going on. Now that they sat in the executive suites and he was constantly being interrupted by people from the office or clients being taken out to the game, the experience wasn’t so much fun. Today was no exception. David was pulled into several long side meetings at the inside bar with Amy left alone for long periods of time. He looked through the glass and, when seeing her sitting there by herself, worked to pull himself away from his conversation.
By the sixth inning, he knew it was time to go, and he apologized to her as they descended the back stairs and stopped into a local pub on the way home. Amy enjoyed the tennis game on the television as they ate but conversation remained awkward.
When it was time to take Amy home, she spent a few minutes hugging and patting Trooper, telling him she would see him soon. It was getting late, and they rode back to Hingham with the Saturday night countdown on the classic rock station playing softly in the background. She was tired and closed her eyes, falling asleep as he peered over periodically to look at her. She looked younger as she slept, almost as she had when he used to carry her in from the car to her bed when she was small. It made him smile and feel sad at the same time, thinking about how time had so quickly moved along and how little time they spent together.
When they pulled into the driveway of his old home, it was a few minutes before eleven o’clock and Amy was still fast asleep. David could see Kathleen’s silhouette standing at the open front door. She came out to the car with her slippers on as he came around to open Amy’s door slowly. Kathleen gazed down at her restful face, and then, without moving her head, Kathleen’s eyes shifted up to exchange a smile with David. It didn’t look like Amy would wake, so David gently reached down with both arms to lift her up and carried her into the house as Kathleen held the door and watched a familiar sight from the past ascend the stairs and lay Amy softly on her bed. They both watched her for a few more seconds before they heard, “Goodnight,” as the door closed.
David and Kathleen quietly chuckled as they had many times when one of the kids said or did something cute. He opened the door to James’ bedroom to look at him as the hall light shined into the room, and he saw James clutching a small, stuffed golden puppy dog that he had given him a few years ago. He didn’t really know James and feared he may not grow up strong enough to face the trials of life.
David gently closed the door and felt awkward walking down the stairs from the bedrooms he hadn’t been in for many years now. Kathleen looked up at David with no anger or animosity, even after his unilateral desertion of her and the children. He had seen that caring and admiring look on her face many times, which made him break the moment. “I will be by next Saturday to see James.”
“Sure. Let me know when you’ll be here. Amy has a tournament in the morning, and I know James would like to spend more than a few hours with you. He’s at that age where he really needs that from you.”
“I know. I know. Let me see if I can think of something fun to do together.”
“He doesn’t need to be entertained. He just wants to be with you. Does that make sense?”
David nodded and unconsciously started to give her a hug and kiss goodbye, catching himself but not before Kathleen noticed.
“It’s good to see you too, Kat. I will call you later in the week. Tell Amy I had a good time and wish her luck in her tournament.” He walked to the car as she stood in the doorway and watched him drive off again to his chosen life in the city.
Chapter 11
David planned on stopping at his usual Eastside breakfast stop, but as he approached the street, there were orange and white barrels blocking the road with a large sign that read: Road Closed. Please Seek Alternative Route. David pivoted and headed to his recent alternative morning spot, Café Incontrare. It was still nice enough to sit outside where he could observe the entrance to My Brother’s Table. There were a few men sharing a smoke outside the door and wearing old clothes, one with a soiled Red Sox hat fitted tightly on his head with uncombed, long hair sticking out and the other man wearing a black winter hat. As he sat down, the waiter smiled in recognition and asked if he wanted a cappuccino.
“Yes, please. By the way, my name is David.”
The waiter said in his broken accent, “Good to meet you, David. Il mio nome e—sorry, my name is Giovanni. I’m pleased to meet you.”
David nodded. “Glad to meet you too, Giovanni. I’ll have the breakfast special today, thank you.”
“Very good, Signor David.”
Giovanni came back with David’s breakfast and a piece of paper. “There was a man that came by earlier this morning. I think from the food kitchen,” he said as he pointed to the building. “He asked me to give this note to a well-dressed man named David Kelly. I think it may be for you, Signor David.”
David opened the note as Giovanni arranged his plate and silverware on the small cafe table. The note read: Good morning, Mr. Kelly. I hope you’ve been resting those tired bones of yours. I won’t be able to play ball on Wednesday due to another commitment, but if you are interested, I was planning on going to the court on Tuesday instead. I hope you can make it so that you can buy me another beer! Ciao. Tom.
He had planned on being in New York until late on Tuesday and arranged his busy schedule to play on Wednesday. He found himself feeling disappointed that he may need to pass this week.
Izzie greeted David with a wide smile as he passed her desk. “Good morning, Mr. Kelly. I hope your weekend was a good one. I have your tickets and travel plans on your desk.”
David had been thinking about tomorrow. “Thanks, Izzie. Oh, could you do me a favor?”
“What do you need, Mr. Kelly?”
“I’d like to see if we can pull the schedule in to get more of the agenda completed today and, in the morning, so that I can catch an early afternoon flight back to Boston. I really appreciate it.”
Despite the schedule changes and rush to accomplish everything, David had a successful trip and secured important customer orders for the end of the quarter. The driver had him home in time to change and be at the Back Bay Fens basketball courts by 4:30.
He felt a sense of freedom as he began to sink his first long jump shots. Just as he was taking a shot, Trevon lobbed a ball up to the basket and in came Big Russ to jam the ball through the basket. Trevon laughed with a “hee-hee-hee,” and said, “What’s ya doin’ here on Tuesdee, man? We call you Mr. Hump Day, and now we got to come up with another name for you!”
Before David answered, they were off to the next court to high five the regulars.
He felt a presence directly behind him as he started shooting again, and his ball was blocked from behind as his hand futilely followed through on the shot.
“You can’t trust anyone, can you?” Tom laughed as he retrieved David’s basketball and sank it with an underhanded shot.
For most of his life, David hadn’t allowed himself to fully trust a
nyone, but Tom was becoming someone he felt might be an exception to the constant vigilance with which he approached the world. David enjoyed his time with Tom and felt he was actually becoming a friend he looked forward to seeing. They played five intense games, each coming down to the “win by two points” difference in score, with most games going well beyond eleven points. David won the final game on a faked jump shot to get Tom off his feet and then a running one-handed shot off the backboard. This brought the other players to cheer as they stopped their game to watch and take bets on the final winner of the “old white guys who still think they can play” duel.
Both were bending down to catch their breath as sweat dripped off their tee-shirts and brows and onto the court. Still bent over, Tom reached out his hand to congratulate David. David was happy to finally win as he shook Tom’s hand and waved his other to the cheering fans from the other court. David said, “I will let you buy me that beer now,” and smiled from deep inside as he continued to recover from the all-out battle he had, at last, triumphed over.
It was much warmer than average for late September, which made for a comfortable walk over to Dempsey’s Pub to collect the spoils of war from Tom. He noticed that Tom showed a genuine interest in him as he asked questions about his week and how things were going.
When they walked into the pub, Dempsey looked up and said, “I wasn’t expecting you two ‘til tomorrow. So, what‘ll it be and more importantly who’s paying tonight?”
Tom shifted his eyes towards David and bellowed, “What will you and everyone else in the house have tonight?”
There was a booth with three guys who were in the pub last Wednesday, and two other men sitting at the bar who instantly glanced over with a smile. After Dempsey brought everyone their drinks, the three men in the booth introduced themselves and asked David and Tom to sit with them. They sat and talked for a couple of hours about local and national politics, sports, the economy, and the disappointing baseball season with the Sox.
David was impressed with Tom’s range of knowledge but even more in his ability to listen and argue a point without getting heated, so the conversation remained enjoyable despite any differences of opinion. He was trying to think of anyone in his life he respected and felt comfortable with. In a world where friendships were often measured more by personal benefit than plain friendship for its own sake, Tom seemed different and more sincere in his interactions with people. David hadn’t thought much about that before, but Tom made him notice this as something that was missing in his life. As he watched Tom laughing and exchanging ideas, he was wondering if he’d ever had a true friend.
At times, during the lively conversation, David would be deep in thought and Tom would notice, giving him an affirming smile. David was thinking about how much of his time was spent with entertaining diversions, but tonight he was actually enjoying himself by being present. It made him smile back to let Tom know that things were good.
When they left the bar, the Red Sox were up 12 to 1 against the Rays. David had beaten Tom at a game they both loved, and summer was hanging on this warm September night as they walked home. When they hit the point where Tom was heading east and David north, they stopped and Tom said, “You played a great game tonight, but don’t get too big a head because you only beat me.”
“I would take you on my team any day of the week. Thanks for leaving the note at the cafe to let me know about the change in your schedule. Is everything okay for tomorrow?”
Tom said, “Oh sure. I just had a few things to attend to, nothing serious. Thanks for asking. How about yourself? You mentioned that you were flying over the city when the planes hit the towers in New York on 9-11. Are you going to be okay tomorrow? Are you flying?”
David answered, “No. No. I was in New York yesterday and flew back this afternoon.”
Tom smirked. “I’m flattered that you flew in for the game and had the energy to play like you did. Very impressive.”
“I was just thirsty and wanted that free beer.”
They both laughed and headed off, each asking, “Next week?” and both responding, “Next week.”
David got home to an excited Trooper, who stood and put his paws on David’s chest to get a hug. David rubbed his head and stroked his back saying, “Hey, I saw you a few hours ago. Now, I did kind of run in and out on you after being gone for a few days, but I had a very important game, and do you know who won? That’s right; this old man.” After a shower, David gave Jillian a quick call to ask her if she was up for dinner the next evening and caught up on work emails before going to bed for a restful good night’s sleep.
Chapter 12
There was no alarm that morning, and David slowly woke and looked over to see Trooper still sound asleep. “You certainly have the good life, don’t you, boy?” David was feeling good. After a shorter run than usual, he showered and made scrambled eggs with spinach and mushrooms and sat with a cup of coffee at the table by the sunny kitchen window to read the Globe. The headline read: “The Nation Reflects, Solemn Rites Mark the Anniversary of Attacks,” making David stop for a few minutes to reflect back to a year ago and about all those people who had died that day. He tried to reconcile the news with his own feelings of contentment this morning.
When 4:00 p.m. came around, he was still working, and Izzie popped her head into his office to remind him of the time. Since he wasn’t leaving early this Wednesday, he thanked her and kept working until 6:30 p.m. before heading down to the lobby to meet Jillian.
Jillian seemed to take a chance that no one from work was looking and gave David a quick kiss before he asked her if she minded taking a walk before going to dinner.
“I’d love to, but first I’d like to know how I was lucky enough to see you on your mystery night.”
David pulled his head back. “Mystery night? What do you mean by mystery night?”
Jillian answered, “Well, the last several Wednesdays you have been preoccupied with your new bud, and now here we are going out on Wednesday night, and you seem to be in a very good mood. What’s the David Kelly scoop?”
David smiled. “We ended up playing basketball last night instead because Tom had something going on tonight. Why are you so interested, anyway?”
“I’m interested in everything about you and especially all your secret places.”
They walked the loop around the Prudential and Copley Place and stopped near the fountains in front of the beautiful Christian Science Church. David sat down with Jillian on a stone bench and thought for a minute before responding. “I’ve been really enjoying myself, not only playing basketball, but spending time afterward just talking, debating, and having fun. I told you how I ran into Tom out of the blue. He seems to have a way about him, something that makes him easy to be around. I have been trying to understand it myself and it’s hard to describe. I feel as if I could respect and trust him more than anyone I can think of. Am I making any sense?”
“I’m really happy for you and I’m glad you shared that with me.” She reached over, her hand clutching his arm, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. She started to speak, stopped, and then started again. “David, I can’t tell you how much I look forward to being with you. I know it’s only been a few weeks, but I really love our time together. Trust me, a lot of women at work, including myself, would love to have caught you because you are very handsome, smart, successful, and rich, but none of those things seem to matter anymore. I enjoy being with David Kelly.”
David blushed at the compliment but also because he wasn’t sure where the conversation might go. “Well, this David Kelly is enjoying the company of a wonderful, talented and beautiful young woman who happens to go by the name of Jill Miller.”
David sensed Jillian fighting her inclinations to shoot down each compliment he had just given her. She had told him she was still working hard to resist instinctively rejecting a positive view of herself, one she might envision possible for everyone else but herself. However, it was the expression on Jillian’s fac
e that made David realize her feelings for him may be more serious than he realized.
After sitting for a while and people-watching, David and Jillian continued their stroll down a side street with a neighborhood feel. They were talking about things they might like to do this fall as they came upon a large group of people holding candles, quietly walking up the stairs and in through the opened wooden doors of an attractive church. Jillian said, “I wonder if it’s a memorial service or something for 9-11?”
Just as he was about to respond, his heart dropped. He shook his head and blinked to see if he was seeing what he thought he was seeing. Greeting and shaking hands with everyone entering the church was a man with a welcoming smile dressed in a priest’s black cassock with a white collar. David felt frozen as he convinced himself that this was actually Tom. He felt somehow betrayed or lied to by someone he thought he could trust. Tom hadn’t been upfront about who he was or even why he had canceled for tonight. He felt disoriented and more paralyzed than angry. His breathing was heavier, and he felt temporarily deaf to the sounds of the city around him and to Jillian’s voice.
Jillian clutched his arm. “David, are you all right?”
Tom had turned to enter the church doors before he could notice David staring at him. “David, are you all right?” repeated Jillian a little louder.
He experienced the same waves of anxiety in his chest he remembered feeling days after his brother and father were gone from his life forever. Up until that time, there was no one he could admire as much as his brother and respect or trust as much as he did his father, and those things were buried and gone from his life until the very recent feelings he had just disclosed to Jillian. He started walking away from the church, a few steps faster than was comfortable for her.
Jillian rushed to keep up. “What’s the matter, David? Please slow down and talk to me.”
