by Jim Sano
The court on the right was still empty when David arrived, so he started his shooting routine. The game on the other court had just finished up and a familiar voice shouted, “I think your bro missed you last week. He left teary-eyed and all.”
David laughed, “Hey, Trev. He’s a big boy. I’m sure he’s recovered by now.” He started to release a long shot, then felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Tom nodding with a welcoming smile.
David said, “I’m only here to beat your—”
Tom swatted the ball out of David’s hands and drove to the basket for a pretty-looking layup. David played Tom harder than he had before as if part of him was playing against all those people he couldn’t trust in his life.
Tom didn’t complain. He matched David basket for basket throughout each of the first four games they split, and for the ten-to-ten tie in the deciding fifth game. Tom’s attempt to drive past David for a layup was tipped by David, who retrieved the loose ball, dribbled quickly to the top of the key where he turned, squared with the basket, and hit the long-jump shot for a one-point lead. Tom grabbed the ball and handed it back to David, who didn’t hesitate to drive to his right, and with a hard bump to Tom’s chest, sent Tom to the ground as David hit a one-handed shot off the backboard for the win. David reached out his hand to help Tom back to his feet and Tom took it, shaking David’s hand.
As they picked up their things, Tom, acted like a boy at the end of his first date with a girl as he scraped his toe on the ground in front of him. “Sooooooo—are you going to let me live up to my responsibilities as the clear loser here?”
David paused, “To tell you the truth, I hadn’t really gotten that far.”
“Maybe we should figure this out over a beer? What do you say?”
As they entered the pub, Dempsey was in his usual position behind the bar and smiled as he saw Tom and David coming in the door, waving as they made their way to an open booth and eased into seats across from each other.
Dempsey came over with cold beers in each hand for the resting warriors. “So, gentlemen, who’s the generous benefactor of these refreshments tonight?” Tom raised his head and hung his head in shame as Dempsey placed the two beers in front of Tom, who slid one over to David and raised his mug to the winner.
“Demps,” David said, “have you known that he was a—”
“Sure,” Dempsey replied with a shrug before walking away.
Tom laughed. “So how are you really doing these days, Hondo?”
“I’m doing okay. It’s been very busy.”
“Busy by design?”
“It’s end-of-quarter, so it’s busy.”
“But here you are with only five days left in the quarter. Do you want to tell me about anything that’s been bothering you?”
David shook his head. “I think I’m good.”
“Okay. I know you are a man who values complete honesty, so I’ll trust you have no remaining feelings about this.”
“I didn’t say I had no feelings about it, but I’m okay with forgetting about it.”
Tom tilted his head as he looked at David and sipped his beer, inviting David to say something more.
David took the bait. “Look, I felt like you were a straight-up guy and I respected you. When I saw you in your getup that night, I was surprised. I felt like you hadn’t been completely honest with me.”
“I want you to know that I’ve really enjoyed the short amount of time we’ve spent together. I would never want to undermine our friendship by being anything but honest with you. I apologize for not being more open and upfront about what I do with my days. People tend to act differently when they realize what I do, and I’ll have to admit that I was enjoying just being ourselves. We may find out a lot about each other along the way, but I hope you can forgive me for any negative feelings I created.”
David raised his mug to Tom. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“I’d like that. I have a feeling that this was a trigger to something else for you.”
To change the subject, David reached into his bag and pulled out the piece of paper he kept concealed with his hand. “Could I ask you to look at something?”
Tom sat up. “Sure. What is it?”
David turned over his hand and showed him the paper with the odd writing. “I found this piece of paper in my apartment and can’t for the life of me figure out what the heck it’s about. I was curious if you had any clue.”
Tom took the paper and closely examined the photocopy of the small fragment of an ancient Egyptian papyrus, only a few inches in size, showing the rough and aged texture with few legible characters.
David said, “I think there’s a typo on the note on the back that should say, ‘The Perfect Answer to the Perfect Question.’ Any clue about what this means?”
“Where did this come from?”
David frowned, shaking his head.
“I have seen this fragment before. It’s the earliest known actual manuscript of the New Testament Gospels ever found, and this small fragment of papyrus was found in Egypt in 1920. It now sits in John Rylands Library in Manchester, England. It’s dated somewhere in the early part of the second century and the writing is in Greek. Do you know any Greek?”
Feeling more confused, David shook his head.
“It’s from the Gospel of John and matches exactly parts of the Bible verses from John 18 on each side. Are you up on your Gospel?”
David kept shaking his head.
Tom ran his finger over the parts that were captured on the fragment to translate and then filled in the rest of the sentence.
“The Jews, ‘For us it is not permitted to kill anyone,’ so that the word of Jesus might be fulfilled, which he spoke signifying what kind of death he was going to die. Entered therefore again into the Praetorium Pilate and summoned Jesus and said to him, ‘Thou art king of the Jews?’”
Tom turned over the paper and continued translating as David continued to look confused.
“’A King I am. For this I have been born and (for this) I have come into the world so that I would testify to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth hears of my voice.’ Said to him Pilate, ‘What is truth?’ and this having said, again he went out unto the Jews and said to them, ‘I find not one fault in him.’”
He turned to David. “Are you still interested in talking about this?”
David was ready to pass, but several guys from the pub had overheard the mystery translation and were now standing at their booth. David asked, “What does this have to do with the comment that was written on the back of this fairy tale? ‘The Perfect Answer to the Perfect Question?’”
Tom jumped in, “I don’t think there’s a typo. I think it’s correct the way it is written, ‘The Prefect Question’ might refer to Pilate who was the Prefect or Governor of Judaea around 26 AD to 36 AD. Pilate is interrogating Jesus to try him for the charges against him and cynically asks Jesus the rhetorical question, ‘What is truth?’”
David’s brow was furrowed. “That’s it?”
*****
Tom sat back trying to decide where to take this as “basketball-friend Tom” as opposed to “Father Tom.” He knew there was more to David’s reaction to finding out he was a priest than just being upset about not being informed earlier of this fact.
One of the younger guys who had gathered around the booth leaned in with his half-filled beer mug. “I think the whole idea of truth is a myth, an outdated fiction that allowed religious institutions to have power and control over people by forcing their ideas of morality on them, nothing more.”
Oh boy! Tom thought as he approached the young man, noting his long, unkempt hair and beard. “Hi, I’m Tom. What’s your name?”
“You can call me Diogenes,” said the young man. Tom smiled back at him.
Tom then glanced over to see how David was doing. He slid over on the bench allowing a few others to sit in the booth while others stood. With all eyes on him, Tom said, “I think Pilate’s question
is one of the two top questions going.”
Diogenes asked, “Two?”
Tom answered, “Sure, ‘What is Truth?’ and once you answered that, the other is ‘What are you going to do about it?’”
Diogenes reiterated, “I don’t believe in absolute, inflexible, and unalterable definitions of truth. We’re not slaves to someone else’s ideas of what is true. How can you prove that your truth is any better than mine?”
Tom leaned back and hollered over to Dempsey, “I think we may need another round for the truth seekers here,” hesitated and then added, “and for Diogenes as well!” He looked around the booth and asked, “Who here believes that absolute truths do not exist?” Diogenes and his friend Alex both raised their hands. He continued with his poll. “So, who here believes that absolute truth does exist?” Several of the guys raised their hands; this surprised Tom until he realized they were reaching for a beer off of the tray that Dempsey was holding. Tom grabbed his own beer and continued, “Okay. Who doesn’t know or hasn’t really thought about this?” Everyone, except for Diogenes and Alex, raised their hands. “What if I asked you if it’s true all the time that three times two is six, that square circles never exist, and that the earth is both round and orbits the sun?”
Alex glanced at Diogenes. “Okay. Those types of things are always true because they can be validated objectively by mathematics or the scientific method.”
Tom asked, “So you agree that absolute truths do exist?”
Diogenes answered, “Sure, but I’m talking about things we choose to do. No one’s opinion is better than anyone else’s, and it’s wrong for you or any one institution to impose their ‘truths’ on anyone else. It’s nothing more than an act of arrogance and oppressive to human freedom.”
Alex nodded in full agreement.
Tom said, “So, you’re saying that there are absolute truths about scientific and mathematical-type facts, but there is no such thing as absolute moral truth?”
“Exactly!”
David smirked as he watched Tom for his next move.
“There are no absolute truths,” Diogenes continued, “and all truths are relative to each person’s beliefs or feelings. I don’t see any way you can logically disagree with that or prove me to be wrong.”
Tom asked Diogenes, “If you just made a statement that contradicted itself, would you want to know?”
Diogenes looked at Alex. “What? I don’t make self-contradicting statements, and I think most people feel that way.”
Tom answered, “I think you are right that most people do feel that way, but you said, ‘There are no absolute truths and all truths are relative.’”
Diogenes nodded. “Correct.”
“That is a statement that contradicts itself. You made a statement that it’s an absolute truth that ‘there are no absolute truths’ and by your own admission, there cannot be absolute truths.”
Sam, who was sitting next to David, said, “Checkmate!”
*****
David thought about what Tom had just said and how Diogenes statement couldn’t be true. While Diogenes was rubbing his forefinger across the top of his lip, he tried to counter the logic of Tom’s comment. “Okay. Maybe there are some absolute moral truths, but most things are not absolute. You can’t tell someone else how to think and what is right and wrong. People in one culture may have different morals from another.”
Tom said, “Do you think that a person who takes a young child, tortures, and then kills that child for personal amusement would always be wrong?”
Diogenes answered, “Sure.”
Tom continued, “Would it be wrong to impose your morals on Hitler and the Nazis if they personally felt what they were doing was morally right for them? If you believe all truth is relative and there are no absolute rights and wrongs, then how could you justify imposing your truths on them? They’d have the right to say to you, ‘That’s your truth, and this is my truth.’”
Everyone, including Alex, was staring at Diogenes for his response. “Okay. Maybe the truth is relative unless it hurts someone else. Other than that, people should have the right to do what they want and feel like. And maybe people have evolved to know that they need to get along with others to survive and that desire isn’t some mystical absolute truth in the cosmos?”
Tom responded, “I absolutely agree that each person has the freedom to make choices on how to live his life. I do think that choice needs to be honest and informed, but the act of making that choice doesn’t make it right or wrong. It is legal to make a choice about abortion, but the baby doesn’t become or cease to be either human or living based on that choice or how we feel. The baby is objectively living and human, or not, regardless of how we may feel or what we personally believe.”
Tom’s tone was respectful as he continued to make his argument. “I agree we have instincts for survival that have developed, but it would only make sense that those are consistent with a natural and moral law that exists for our benefit. If someone took an animal into the woods and tortured it simply for amusement, it wouldn’t hurt their social survival, but would we see it as right because they think it is? If the government systematically euthanized people who had medical defects, would that not improve the evolving species in the future? But in our heart of hearts, don’t we all know that it’s wrong?”
Diogenes didn’t respond.
“Who thinks that truth is only relative to each person’s feelings or desires? And who thinks absolute truths actually exist?” To that latter, most people raised their hands.
Sam mumbled, “I think my head hurts, but it’s something to definitely think about. I mean, if everything were relative and there were no truths, it would seem as if nothing would really mean anything and no one could argue that it does if it’s all about personal feelings.”
Someone else said, “One thing I am sure of; you philosophers bantering back and forth aren’t helping the Sox tonight!” and everyone chuckled.
They stood up to leave, saying goodnight to Dempsey and those who had regrouped at the bar for another round. Outside there was a slight mist, but the air was still warm. David stood outside the door staring at the ground as he held his sports bag.
“So,” Tom asked, “how are you doing, David? You were very quiet tonight.”
“Yeah. I don’t know. I don’t know what these crazy hieroglyphics are all about, and I still feel a bit strange about getting used to you being something different from what I thought.”
Tom put his hand on David’s shoulder. “I’m really sorry for not telling you something that made a difference to you. I hope that I’m still the person you’ve been playing ball with, and beating, and enjoying the company of because I’ve enjoyed your company. Sometimes when things become a little uncomfortable or we feel restless, there may be something there worth letting come to the surface. I don’t know the context of the fragment in Greek that you showed me, but I think it’s pointing to something to do with truth. I also sense that there’s something deeper behind the intense feelings and reaction you had to seeing me in my working attire.”
“Why do think that?”
“I could be wrong, but it’s just a feeling I’m getting. One thing I learned along the way is that one of the hardest things to do in life is to look honestly at those things that are deep within us. ‘To thine own self be true.’”
“Shakespeare, I suppose?”
Tom replied, “Billy boy himself. It is easier to read that line in Hamlet than to actually come to terms with it in real life.”
“Sounds like a good thing to avoid at all costs then. So, what is truth? I get why this is the ‘Prefect Question,’ but why did it say, ‘The Perfect Answer to the Prefect Question?’”
“I have a feeling you’ll figure it out.”
David frowned a moment, then started walking towards home. He waved his bag in the air and hollered back, “Thanks a lot, Padre.”
Chapter 16
During the rest of the week, David fo
und himself thinking about the line from Hamlet more often than he wanted. It struck him that it would take more courage to be completely honest with himself than to continue avoiding thinking seriously about it. He wasn’t one to impose his views on how other people should live their lives, but he’d never thought about how honest he had been with himself or if he even knew anyone who was completely honest with themselves either.
On his way home from the office, he stopped at an old bookstore. He found an annotated version of Shakespeare’s Hamlet and flipped to the section where Polonius gave his last advice to his son Laertes. This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. Farewell, my blessing season this in thee! To David, the idea of a “false” self we present to others and even to our own selves was a nagging thing to ponder, especially for a salesman like him.
With the company fiscal quarter-end on Monday, David worked through the weekend. He knew he had to call Jillian, and the longer he waited, the more difficult it became, anticipating what she felt and how she might respond to a call after this long, unexplained silence. In each meeting that he wasn’t driving the discussion, he found himself drifting off, barely hearing what was being discussed. When he went out with the guys after a grueling day, the conversations and banter seemed more superficial and hollow to him. He had known these men for so many years, yet he didn’t feel as if he really knew them at all.
As the surrounding men at the bar continued to talk, he glanced from face to face and realized he wasn’t truly close to any of them. In fact, there hadn’t ever been many people whom he ever really confided in. He had idolized his older brother Jimmy, who would take time out to teach him things, but he couldn’t remember sharing many of his own thoughts with Jimmy. He remembered sitting with his dad as a young boy, his father listening to him go on and on about something he was excited about, or patiently answering question after question when he was curious about something. That attentiveness and genuine interest had made him feel as if he counted. After his father and brother were gone, his mother never seemed to have the time or energy for any deep conversations. As a young man, the only person he could trust and confide in was his first girlfriend, fiancée, and then wife, Kathleen.
