A Simple Autumn: A Seasons of Lancaster Novel

by Rosalind Lauer

  Gabe scowled. “People get killed in farm accidents.”

  “Ya, but a plow brings bread to the table. It’s a part of life. A motorbike? Not so much.”

  “But there’s nothing like riding on a motorbike. You feel like a man. At the same time, you feel like you’re flying, faster than any bird. Dat would understand that. He loved to watch the birds flying yonder.”

  Jonah sat for a moment as he pictured their dat watching the nightjars or jays circling over the wavering alfalfa. “Dat was a birdwatcher, all right. But he wouldn’t expect you to be flying. You don’t have wings, Gabe.”

  “Mmm.” Gabe ran a hand through his untidy hair. “I’m tired but I don’t want to go back to sleep and dream about Emma scolding me again.”

  “So … you and Emma are still stuck in the muck. Have you tried to talk to her?”

  “What’s the point?” Gabe shrugged. “She’s through with me.”

  Jonah leaned forward and pointed to the back lot. “When you have a section of broken fence out there, do you just leave it be?”

  Gabe frowned. “No.”

  “Then why would you ignore what’s broken with Emma? Go talk to her. Step up and try to mend things.”

  “I guess I can try.” Gabe rubbed the back of his neck. “And how come you know what to do when you don’t even have a girl? Or do you?” He squinted at his brother. “Is that why you can’t sleep?”

  Jonah gave a nod. “Now you know my secret.”

  “But you didn’t say who she is.”

  “It doesn’t matter. She won’t be around here much longer.”

  Gabe pursed his lips, nodding. “So it is Annie Stoltzfus. I thought so.”

  “Ach.” Jonah pushed back in the rocking chair with a groan. “Don’t tell me tongues are wagging about me favoring Annie.”

  “Don’t worry. Nobody knows, except for the brother who’s watched you go to that farm day after day. You’ve been downright cheerful about it, and that’s not like you.”

  “The Quiet One.”

  “Not so quiet anymore,” Gabe said. “So what are you going to do about Annie leaving for New York?”

  “There’s nothing to be done. She’s made her choice, and I need to respect that.”

  A quiet growl pealed from Gabe’s throat. “Come on. You can’t mean that.”

  Jonah folded his arms across his chest. “It’s the truth.”

  “What about mending your fences, like you told me?”

  “There’s nothing broken to fix. She doesn’t favor me. She’s leaving Halfway. It’s not meant to be.”

  “I don’t think that’s true.” Gabe squinted at him. “And you need to do something if you want to stop her from going. Hide her hope chest. Talk to her parents. Lovina and Aaron have both taken a liking to you.”

  “It’s not so simple,” Jonah said.

  “Then get crafty.” Gabe rose and tossed another log onto the fire. “Don’t let her get away, Jonah. If she’s the one for you, don’t watch her slip away.”

  Jonah watched as the cinders popped and scattered in the fireplace. Good advice, he thought. If only I could do something about it.

  FORTY-THREE

  Falling back into a rocking chair with a sigh, Emma savored the silence. Dat, Fanny, and the children had just left to have dinner with Bishop Samuel and his wife, Lois; and Elsie and Caleb were working at the shop. That left Emma alone in the house—a rarity for her.

  Everywhere she went, someone was talking around her. Her pupils at school, her spirited younger siblings, her sister Elsie in the room they shared. Sometimes she longed for a few minutes of blessed silence.

  Time to clear her mind. Time to think about Gabe.

  When she closed her eyes, she could see him: The hard jaw that lent defiance to his face. The amber eyes that seemed to read her deepest thoughts. And that half grin, a crooked smile that hinted at amusement lurking under his cool demeanor.

  Oh, she really shouldn’t love him so, but she couldn’t help herself. The feeling hadn’t faded at all, despite her anger with him for breaking the rules of the Ordnung. She had talked to Elsie about it—dear Elsie, who had calmly listened and counseled Emma to be patient. Give the boy time and he would come around. She appreciated Elsie’s advice, but she did not share her sister’s patience or faith in Gabe.

  How could she be sure Gabe would ever “come around” and follow the rules of their Amish community? There was always the chance that he would take a different path, like his older sister Sadie. Or he might even leave the community for years, as his brother Adam had done.

  And where would that leave Emma?

  Adrift in her own community. If she waited for Gabe to come around, there was a chance that she would be waiting alone for the rest of her life.

  In her logical mind, Emma knew that it would not be smart to wait for Gabe. But in her heart, there was no room for any other beau. She loved Gabe, and no amount of logic was going to change that.

  So … it was time to settle in for a long winter, and a long wait.

  She got out of the chair to find her satchel. The rumpled stack of papers peered out at her, calling for attention, very much like her young scholars. But the afternoon sun on the window beckoned her.

  “I’m going to work outside,” she said, grabbing a sweater for when the sunlight faded.

  The two-story house just outside town was built on a small lot, but there was a natural boundary of bushes on one side of the yard. When they had moved in to the house, Fanny had set out four chairs and a table that Emma and Elsie had covered with a mint-green rust-retardant paint. Surprisingly, the little table had become the hub of family activity in good weather. Some summer nights, when the weather was hot, they brought out dining room chairs and ate their dinner out here.

  She took the top essay from the stack in her satchel and leaned into the last of the day’s golden sunlight. Leaves shimmered in the hedge behind her, and she imagined that they were Gott’s own wind chimes.

  She was reading an essay about an afternoon of fishing when a whirring sound buzzed in the distance.

  A large wasp?

  She looked around, but saw no insects crossing the swath of sunlight. And yet the sound grew louder. It was some kind of vehicle. A vehicle on the road?

  Sparked by curiosity, she stood up. Her papers ruffled in the breeze, and she quickly shoved them under the satchel so they wouldn’t blow away. She moved closer to the hedge to peer through the bushes. A motorcycle was passing on the main road. A moment later, it turned down the lane, a whining beast.

  The rider was dressed Amish in dark broadcloth trousers and blue shirt, suspenders … and a helmet that covered his whole face.

  Gabe.

  The breath caught in her throat. What was he thinking, coming around here, and on a motorbike? The boy didn’t use the brain in his head.

  She tended to her papers, shoving them back into her satchel as a strange mix of excitement and agitation brewed inside her. Her heart raced at the sight of him, and yet she knew he had brought trouble with him.

  With a whir of the motor, he pulled off the driveway onto the grass and rolled to a stop beside the little table. Her fingers worried over the pins of her apron, as she watched him dismount.

  He turned off the bike, swung his leg over the side, and rose to his full height. Why did her heart soar at the sight of him? He pushed a little spike down with the toe of his boot, and the bike stood on its own, all glinting metal in the sun.

  Emma frowned. That bike might as well be cow manure, but Gabe … he was still so handsome, lean and tall. There was no denying the glow she felt at the sight of him.

  Still … she couldn’t have him here like this. On a bike. Her conscience whispered, “No, no, no …” But standing this close to him was like stepping into the sunshine after a week of night.

  He pulled the big black helmet off and shook his head as he came toward her. “Emma … Did you know it was me?”

  “It wasn’t so hard to
figure out,” she said. “What are you doing here?”

  “I came to give you a ride. I brought one of the bigger bikes so that we can ride together.”

  “Gabe, are you verhuddelt? I can’t be riding a motorbike.”

  “No one will know.” He lifted the helmet toward her. “You can wear the helmet so no one will know it’s you.”

  “I would never do that. It’s against the rules.”

  “Can’t you just stop worrying about the rules for once and try something new? I want you to see how much fun it is, Emma. Just see for yourself.” He came toward her with the helmet, but she held up a hand, pressing it into his chest.

  “Stop, just stop it! I don’t want anything to do with your bike, Gabe.” She pulled her hand back when she saw the forlorn look on his face. He seemed stunned … but how could he be surprised? She was standing by what she had told him all along. “Why are you looking at me that way? You know the rules as well as I do.”

  “I thought you would understand.” The hurt in his eyes tugged on her conscience. “You’ve always tried to understand. When my parents were killed, you were the only one who talked to me about it … the only one who listened.”

  “This is different, Gabe.”

  “Is it? This is something good I’m trying to share with you. Something that makes me feel strong but light … like an eagle soaring over the land.”

  Torn between her desire to reach out to him and her faith that she had to stick to her beliefs, she studied his face, wished she could make him understand.

  “I would love to soar with you, Gabe.” She swallowed over the lump in her throat. It would be so easy to give in and go with him. Put on a helmet and pray that no one would recognize her so that she and Gabe could be close again. One small concession would mend their relationship.

  But Emma could not go against her own promise. In her heart, she would always know of the sin she had committed, and that offense would fester like a wound.

  “I wish I could share this with you, but I can’t … I can’t break my vow to the church just to have some fun with you. Someday, when you’re baptized, you’ll understand how important this is.”

  He scowled. “Maybe not. Maybe I won’t get baptized, and I’ll just keep on doing what I want, like Zed Miller.”

  “You don’t mean that.” She could tell that he was angry now; he was saying things out of bitterness.

  “I can’t really say. Who knows what will happen down the road?” He turned the helmet in his hands. “I guess the only person who can find out is the one who rides down that road. Like me.”

  “Don’t do this, Gabe.” Her voice was quiet now, quiet and cold as the shadows that had fallen over the small yard. She always tried so hard to be understanding. Why couldn’t he see her side of this? That parents and ministers trusted her with the education of their children—a good Amish education. Her actions were under scrutiny. Her values were everything to her.

  “I’m just a guy trying to take my girl for a ride on a fall afternoon,” he said.

  Emma bit her lips together, fighting back tears. How could he hurt her so?

  Gathering her things, she allowed herself one last look at him. Oh, why did she care so much about him when he pulled stunts like this? She marched into the house and let the screen door slam behind her. It was an angry, heavy sound … a sound that signaled the end to a conversation, a beautiful day, a bittersweet love.

  FORTY-FOUR

  I got the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart. Where?” Annie sang the quick song, clapping along with the other young people at the table. She didn’t remember the last time she’d felt such bright joy at a singing, but then the very fact that she was here was one of the biggest surprises of all. Just a few weeks ago, she had thought she would be long gone from Halfway by now, the end of October. But here she was … and there was a smile on her face, as if the happy glow inside her was shining through.

  And all because of Jonah King.

  She turned her head to take a look at him down the table. He was singing along, but he did not clap or make silly faces like some of the other young people. That stoic, almost stern expression on his face … she liked that about him. There was no giddiness about Jonah King, but she had come to rely on his rock-solid patience and thoughtfulness in times of stress.

  Ya, Jonah was the main reason she had wanted to stay. And she had never expected the odd twist of circumstances that had kept her here in Halfway long past the time she thought she would be moving away to New York.

  Soon after Dat had returned, he and Mamm had asked her if she would consider staying in Halfway awhile to help out at the farm. “Just until I get through the operation and back on my feet,” Dat had said. “I know you’ve got good reason to go, but we need you now, Annie girl.”

  Her answer had been yes, yes, and yes again. She told them she would stay as long as they wanted. She wouldn’t think of going away when her family needed her. But secretly, she was thinking of staying on for good, and she had hinted at that in her letter to Sarah.

  Please don’t count on me coming anytime soon, she had written. So much has changed here, not only on account of Dat’s sickness, but some good things have sprung up like seedlings in the garden. There’s a fella here that I’ve been getting to know—I won’t say who, because it’s all so very new—but it’s given me a spark of hope that things might work out just fine here in Halfway.

  That spark of hope was now a flame dancing in her heart, fueled by the good conversations and silly jokes she had shared with Jonah as they worked side by side on the farm. Morning, noon, and night, she found herself drumming up excuses to spend time with him out in the barn. She scheduled chores so that she would cross his path and have a chance to talk with him. She didn’t need to use the courtship tricks she had tried to teach her sister Hannah because things flowed naturally between Jonah and her. Conversation was easy, his jokes made her laugh, and his dark eyes seemed to have the ability to see her fears. Jonah had a knack for easing her worries about Dat’s health, about her sick horse, or about how hard it was to make tasty dishes that followed Dat’s new low-cholesterol diet.

  But despite the easy conversation between them, Annie had not had the nerve to turn the topic around to ask about his feelings for her. He had admitted to favoring her for years, but then she had pushed him away. She could kick herself for that … but it was water under the bridge. Right now she needed to know just where she stood with him. A simple question … an easy question if she could just summon the nerve to ask Jonah.

  As they took a break from singing, Annie skimmed the room to locate Jonah. Maybe if they took a walk together outside, just maybe the bright glow of the moon would lend her the courage to ask her question.

  She moved past her sister Hannah, who was already talking with her beau, Ben King. Elizabeth Mast blocked Annie’s view for a moment. When the girl finally shifted, the sight of Jonah in the corner made her heart sink.

  He was talking with Emma Lapp—Teacher Emma. Stunned, she stared at them a moment, then forced herself to look away. She had heard that Jonah gave Emma a ride home from a singing recently, but she hadn’t thought much of it.

  Now she tried to ignore the achy pain at the sight of the two of them together. Emma was a nice girl, but she didn’t know Jonah the way Annie did. It wasn’t possible for Emma to love him the way Annie did.

  “What are you staring at with such a sad face?” Mary asked as she followed Annie’s gaze across the barn.

  When Annie tried to answer, the knot of emotion in her throat kept words from forming.

  “Are you feeling okay?” Mary linked arms with her and cast a curious glance down at Annie. “Your face is pale and you look like someone just stole the last piece of pie right out from under your nose.”

  Annie snorted. “You know me too well.”

  “What’s going on, Annie?”

  Should she tell Mary—her very best friend who also happened to be Jonah’s sister? “Will you
promise not to tell anyone?”

  Mary tilted her head. “You know I try not to gossip, and I certainly wouldn’t do that to you.”

  Annie steeled herself, wanting to be honest with her friend. “The truth is, things have changed for me here. You know Mamm and Dat asked me to stay to help out with his recuperation. Well, I’m hoping to stay for good because there’s a fella who’s caught my eye.”

  A smile lit Mary’s eyes. “Praise be to Gott! I’m so happy for you!”

  “But he doesn’t know yet. And right now, I’m watching him across the room, talking with someone else.” Annie shifted so that she wouldn’t be staring at Jonah and Emma. “I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid I’ve waited too long to tell him how I feel.”

  “I think Jonah will still be happy to hear the news.”

  Mary’s words eased Annie’s heart; it was as if someone had lifted a heavy load from her shoulders.

  She still had a chance with Jonah.…

  Annie grabbed her friend’s hands. “Do you think so? That would be the most wonderful good thing! I can’t tell you how much I … But wait.” She looked around to make sure no one was listening. “How did you know I was talking about Jonah?”

  “Well, I saw you looking at him with so much love in your eyes. And to be honest, Jonah confided in me long ago that he favored you. More than that, really. I think he had a crush on you when we were kids and he never got over that. I promised him I wouldn’t tell anyone, and I kept my promise. But now … well, the truth is out. He told you himself, so I don’t think I’m breaking my word.”

  “He did tell me, and I turned him away,” Annie admitted, still annoyed at her own blind foolishness. “You know that, don’t you?”

  Mary nodded. “I’ve heard bits and pieces along the way.”

  “But you think I still have a chance?” Annie glanced back at Jonah and Emma. Their faces were solemn, their heads lowered close together. “What about Emma?”

  Mary snorted. “I’ll tell you this: He doesn’t spend every day at Emma’s house. Just talk to him. Tell him the truth. You know what the Bible says. The truth shall set you free.”