Love Hurts (Forever and Always #17)

by E. L. Todd

“It’s an award ceremony and a benefit to raise money for patients in the hospital, mainly the ICU.”

  “Very cool,” I said. I stared at her face while we walked, hypnotized.

  “Thanks for coming with me.”

  “Sure. No problem.” I’d prefer it if she asked me instead of someone else she worked with. If I found out she went out with some other guy, even if it was just friendly, I’d be hurt. I knew that was hypocritical, but it was the truth.

  When we walked inside the conference room, chandeliers lit the ceiling. Tables with flowered centerpieces and white tablecloths were in the center of the room. A full bar was to the side, and everyone was mingling in their suits and gowns. “Wow. They really went all out.”

  “We’re an all-profit hospital,” she explained.

  “Meaning?”

  “We’re in the business of making money.”

  “At least they give back.”

  “They already give the highest wages of any other hospital in the city, and that’s saying a lot.”

  I nodded. “I’m not surprised you beat out the competition and got a job so quickly.”

  “Actually, it wasn’t that easy. I had a special friend pull some strings.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Who?”

  “Scarlet. Well, technically Sean.”

  Oh. I had no idea. “I’m glad he helped you.”

  “They didn’t look at my application until Sean called. Of course, since he’s a Preston, he was the best reference I could have. And I desperately needed a job at the time.”

  I didn’t like thinking about her time at the magazine. I chose to block it out. “Do you like it here?”

  “Yeah. I have no complaints.”

  We moved further across the floor and eyed all the people. I noticed the bar against the wall. It looked like everything was included in the evening. “Would you like a drink?”

  Monnique thought for a moment. I wasn’t sure what there was to think about. It was just a drink. “Yeah, sure. Wine, please.”

  “Sure thing.” I left her side then got in line at the bar. A few men were in front of me so I patiently waited. I wanted to turn around and stare at Monnique to pass the time but I didn’t want her to catch me. I looked over my shoulder briefly and saw she wasn’t looking. She was talking to someone.

  He looked a little older than her, but he towered over her with his height. He was smiling while he spoke to her, but staring at her hard like she was a film on screen. I’d watched myself look at her like that a thousand times. I knew exactly what he was thinking. And that made me jealous.

  As I moved further up the line, I kept watching. Monnique didn’t touch him, but he continued to step closer to her, invading her personal space. When I finally got the drinks, I marched back to her.

  “It’s just a dinner,” the suit said. “Come on. We have a lot of laughs at work. I assure you, I’m even better company when I’m not doing rounds on patients and ordering lab work.”

  I didn’t like the sound of that. But I knew I shouldn’t do anything. Monnique was single and was allowed to do whatever she wanted. I’d gone on a few dates and I couldn’t stop her from doing the same thing. I was the one going back and forth in my decision to take her back. Despite what she did to me, she didn’t deserve that.

  The suit came closer to her, and she slightly stepped back. “I’ll give you a night you’ll never forget.”

  Judging by her closed off arms and her slightly turned head, I knew she wanted him to back off. But she wasn’t telling hom for some reason. Maybe he was her boss? Or maybe I was just imagining all of this because I was jealous as fuck. This guy was good-looking and determined. It was clear he’d made a move on her before. I wanted her all to myself.

  “Hey, baby.” I handed her a drink then put my arm around her waist.

  Monnique would probably be mad by the behavior. I had no right to interfere and she probably regretted inviting me. But the jealousy became too much.

  But that didn’t happen. She gave me the biggest smile I’ve ever seen. Warmth radiated in her eyes as my hand cupped her side. She held the drink and stared at me in surprise.

  I stared down her friend. “I’m Cortland.” I didn’t extend my hand to shake his because it was around her waist, claiming her.

  “Oh.” He nodded slowly. “I’m Dr. Erikson.”

  Anyone who introduced themselves by their title was automatically a douchebag. “You two work together?” I was trying to claim her but not be too threatening and insulting at the same time. Monnique did work with this person after all.

  “Yes,” he said. “She’s one of my best nurses.”

  “I can believe that.” My hand squeezed her.

  “Well, enjoy your evening.” He nodded his head then stepped away.

  Monnique and I stood together in silence. I sipped my drink while she held hers. My hand didn’t move from her side. I liked it there.

  “Thank you for saving me,” she said.

  “I thought you’d be mad at me…”

  “No.” She looked me straight in the eye. “The only man I want is you.”

  I held her gaze while I repeated the words over and over. They melted into my brain, and the feeling of love and happiness squeezed my heart. I wanted to be the only man she loved. The only man she wanted.

  I was at a loss of words. I wanted to tell her that I loved her and wanted her forever but I couldn’t. Instead I drank my wine then averted my gaze. But my hand didn’t leave her waist. “Is that why you didn’t want to come alone?”

  She nodded. “I don’t mean to sound arrogant or conceited, but being a single girl is difficult. At least now they’ll see me with someone and back off.”

  “You’ve never showed any interest in them? That doctor seemed okay.”

  Her eyes darkened in sadness. “I’m not going to force myself to date other men if I’m not ready. I already know who I want. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t want me back.”

  I looked at her again. I didn’t know how long it would take me to make up my mind about our…relationship. “When will that change?”

  “When you’re in a relationship with someone new. When there’s absolutely no chance for me.”

  I liked that response. I still had time. The last thing I wanted was for her to sleep around while I tried to understand what I wanted. I was an asshole for thinking this, but I didn’t want anyone else between her legs but me. Just me. “That doesn’t seem likely,” I said honestly. After all the failed attempts I had, it didn’t seem like I’d find anyone I cared about. But I shouldn’t have said that. It was wrong to give her false hope.

  “I hope not.” Her eyes lightened slightly.

  Monnique introduced me to a few of her colleagues. Her fellow nurses kept eyeing me, approval in their gaze. I knew when women were checking me out. Even the married ones kept eyeing my shoulders and chest.

  When she pulled me away, she leaned toward my ear. “They think you’re cute.”

  “I picked up on that.”

  We sat down at one of the tables and dinner was served. Other people joined us but Monnique didn’t seem to know them. She ate quietly with perfect posture. I indulged myself and rested my hand on her lower back, feeling hot as soon as I touched her. She eyed me but didn’t say anything.

  I was on my second glass of wine but I noticed she hadn’t touched hers. She hadn’t even taken a sip.

  “Monnique?”

  “Hmm?”

  “You can drink. It’s okay.”

  She eyed the glass then looked down at her plate. “I quit drinking. I think I learned I’m too irresponsible to be trusted with it.”

  That meant the world to me. It really seemed like she learned from all of her mistakes. “Everything in moderation.”

  “I clearly don’t understand the word moderation.”

  “You’re being too harsh on yourself. You just made a mistake.”

  “A mistake that ruined my life,” she said darkly.

&nb
sp; That went straight to my heart. I pressed my mouth close to hers. “You can drink around me, all you want. You know I’ll take care of you. I just don’t like it when you get drunk around other people.”

  She still didn’t drink it. “Even so, it’s unprofessional since this is a work function. I’d rather just not deal with it at all.”

  I knew there was no persuading her.

  Everyone walked to the silent auction and made their bids. I wasn’t greedy with my money but I didn’t want to make a donation. But that was because I didn’t want to leave Monnique’s side. She looked too beautiful. I’d rather stare at her all night.

  When the dancing started, she didn’t stand up or make a move. She stayed in her seat and watched the couples dance slowly.

  “Will you dance with me?” I extended my hand to her.

  She smiled then placed her hand in mine. “I’d love to.”

  I pulled her to the dance floor then pressed her body against mine. One hand moved around her waist, and I held her hand in the other. We looked at each other, not caring about anyone else in the world. Then I pressed my head to hers and closed my eyes. I missed this like crazy. The intimacy we shared was unlike anything I ever felt. Just feeling her in my arms was better than any climax I ever had. This was where I longed to be.

  We danced for a few songs, neither one of us saying anything. Her lips were dangerously close to mine but I didn’t kiss her. If we were somewhere else, knowing me, I would have. But I knew the chemistry we shared echoed across the room. It was probably making people more uncomfortable than if we shared a kiss.

  When the music was over, I kept my arm around her waist and pulled her back to the table. When we sat down, she rested her hand on my thigh. It was unusual for her to initiate affection with me, but I didn’t ask her to stop. I liked it. In fact, it made me hard.

  The director of the hospital came to the stage and announced awards. Doctors were recognized for their achievements in medicine, departments were awarded for their good Samaritan work, and individual employees were given plaques for their dedication to the profession.

  “The Elite Nurse for this year is a new member to our staff, but her compassion for her patients and her job is obvious to anyone who works with her. When a pediatric patient was in her zone, an unapproved parent came to the hospital and tried to take him out of the room illegally. This man was known for his history of child abuse, which the nurse knew after examining his history. And when he tried to take the patient away, she stepped in and risked her life to make sure that didn’t happen. Threatened with a knife, she still didn’t back down. Luckily, security came and the situation was resolved peacefully. But it showed just how brave she was.”

  Damn, the idea of Monnique working in a hospital freaked me out. But I guess she wasn’t safe no matter where she worked. I’m just glad nothing like that had ever happened to her.

  When faces started to turn in our direction, I wondered what they were looking at. Was the person sitting at our table?

  “Monnique Barboza, you are this year’s Elite Nurse.”

  Everyone clapped and my eyes widened. I was in shock over what I just heard. Did that really happen? Why didn’t she tell me?

  Monnique left her chair and walked to the stage, shaking his hand and taking the award. She smiled at everyone as she glided down the stairs and returned to her place next to me.

  I stared at her but didn’t know what to say. While she was obviously heroic and admirable, but I was so relieved she was okay. I couldn’t believe she didn’t tell me. She placed the award on the table and didn’t look at me.

  At the end of the night, people snacked on desserts and wine while others left. When we were alone at the table, I turned to her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “We weren’t speaking at the time.”

  “And what about when we were?”

  She shrugged. “I knew it would scare you.”

  She knew me well. “You weren’t?”

  “Yes,” she said quickly. “I was terrified. But I couldn’t let the boy be taken. He was on serious medication and a ventilator. If the man took him, he would have died. I couldn’t let that happen, even though I risked my life. I would do it again in a heartbeat.” She stared at me, fear and hesitation on her face.

  The selfish part of me was pissed she risked her safety for someone else, but I knew that was wrong. She stood up for what she believed in and was willing to sacrifice herself for someone else. That takes courage and strength. I refused to dim her recognition. “You’re amazing.”

  Surprise filled her eyes. “Really?”

  I nodded. “I’m very proud of you. Most people would have acted as a coward and stepped away. But you didn’t.”

  Her eyes watered slightly. “I’m so glad you aren’t mad at me.”

  “How could I be? You’re a hero.”

  She smiled. “Everyone brought me treats all week, so I definitely felt special for a while.”

  I brought her hand to my mouth and kissed it. “You are special.”

  We shared a look for a long time, saying nothing. But nothing needed to be said.

  Most of the guests left the hotel and went home. She and I remained in our seats.

  “Ready to go?” she asked. “I’m getting tired.”

  “Yeah.” I grabbed her hand and we walked out of the hotel, heading to my car. My hand still held hers and it didn’t feel wrong. It was warm and soft. She didn’t pull away and I didn’t want our affection to end. Everything felt right with her. I didn’t have to force anything. She affected me in a way no else ever had.

  After we got into the car, I drove back to her apartment. I had a strong suspicion what would happen when we got there. But since she gave me a hard-on for almost the entire night, that’s all I could think about.

  There were millions of other beautiful women in the world. Why couldn’t I notice them? Why was she the only one who caught my undivided attention? Was I just weak? Was she just that mesmerizing, or was I just that whipped? I stopped seeking the answer because I knew I would never find it. Questioning it changed nothing. I still felt the same no matter what.

  I walked her to her apartment, not touching her. Maybe if I kept my hands to myself I would have the strength to leave without walking inside. Maybe I could keep my cock in my pants.

  Doubtful.

  I pulled out her keys and handed them to her. “Thanks for the lovely evening.”

  She smiled. “Thank you for coming with me.”

  “I’m more than happy to keep all the dogs away.” She had no idea how much I meant that. Why couldn’t she work at home like Scarlet? Or an all womens clothing store or something?

  She clutched the keys then looked at me. “Want to come inside and watch TV?” Her voice carried her hope.

  No. No. No. Just say no and walk away. Maybe a quick peck on the cheek, but that’s it. “Sure.” Fuck you, Cortland.

  “Great.” She smiled then got the door open.

  After we walked inside, she turned on a few lights then kicked off her heels.

  “Your feet okay?” I asked.

  “I’ll manage. At least I get to wear comfy clothes to work.”

  That was the only good thing about her working as a nurse. At least her clothes were unflattering and baggy. But that didn’t hide her obvious beauty. At least it hid that gorgeous ass.

  She sat on the couch, still wearing her dress. I was glad she didn’t take it off. I wanted to be the one to peel it away.

  Stop thinking like that.

  I sat down, putting a good foot between us.

  She turned on Animal Planet and we watched a show about deadly snakes. She and I always watched documentaries about animals. We were both fascinated by deadly creatures. We both looked forward and focused on the screen.

  I had to keep adjusting myself because my cock kept pressing into my slacks. Even when I moved it, it still twitched and tried to escape my zipper. It was distracting and suffocating my thoughts. Ha
ving Monnique sit just a few inches away was driving me crazy.

  I wanted to kiss her and be inside her so badly, but I told myself it wouldn’t happen again. It couldn’t. But yet, that was all I could think about. We had sex over a week ago and I hadn’t been with anyone else since then. And I didn’t touch myself either.

  I kept glancing at her, thinking about those red lips. I remembered their taste like my last meal. I recalled her heavy breathing and the sex noises she made. I knew I didn’t want to have sex with her just because I was horny. If that were the case, I could fuck anyone. There was something more to it. I wanted to be connected to her again. When we made love, I didn’t think about the way she hurt me. All I thought about was her and how much I loved her. I was happy.

  Fuck it. I’m going for it.

  As soon as I turned to kiss her, she straddled my hips and cupped my face, kissing me hard. Now I knew she was thinking the exact same thing I was. Our timing couldn’t have been more perfect.

  She kissed me hard and long, caressing my lips with hers. My hands glided up her sides, feeling waist and her ribs. The fabric of the dress was soft and sleek. My fingers dug into her ass our kissed escalated into desperation mode. We both fed on each other like we’d never had a taste before.

  My cock was hard, and I knew she felt it beneath her. I wanted her to know how much I wanted her. I rocked my hips slightly so she could feel it rub against her. Her fingers dug into my hair while she breathed into my mouth, lighting me on fire.

  I’d had a raging hard-on all night long, and I was desperate to be inside her. She tormented me enough wearing that dress and telling me I was the only man she wanted. I pulled down the straps and managed to get the top part off. She was busy getting off my jacket and undoing my shirt to help.

  I held her close to me as I yanked the rest of it off. She wasn’t wearing a bra so her tits were right in my face. And those things were beautiful and perfect. I immediately took a nipple into my mouth and sucked.

  She gasped while she watched me, her hands shaking as she undid my pants. The belt was off and my zipper was undone. She gripped them and yanked them off, taking my boxers too.

  They were at my knees, but that’s as far as they needed to be. She straddled my hips again and pointed me at her entrance. Without further thought, she lowered herself quickly and took me in with a single motion.