Across the Counter

by Mary Burchell

  “Oh no.”

  “Only a ... a dreadfully letdown feeling when the marriage doesn’t come off, after all.”

  “Katherine, dear, you torment yourself too much about future possibilities,” he declared.

  “Well, I feel responsible.”

  “You have no reason to. You least of all of us. The whole position was forced upon me and, by a further remove, upon you. Extract what enjoyment you can from it, and remember you’re not in the remotest degree to blame for anything.”

  “Except that I agreed as a free agent to take part in this deception.”

  “ ‘Masquerade’ is a nicer word,” he told her. “And in any case, think what a position I’d have been in by now if you had not,” he reminded her carelessly. “Relax, my charming fiancée, and get ready to present me to your family.”

  The two things were, she thought, a contradiction in terms. But of course he was quite right. It would be better to attend to the immediate emergency rather than agonize over possible complications in the future.

  So she spent the rest of the journey telling him about her family so that he might appear to be reasonably well informed about the people in whom he was supposed to take a very personal interest.

  In the end it was not quite so difficult as she had expected. For one thing, the twins met them at the end of the driveway and greeted them impartially with whoops of joy.

  Paul obligingly stopped the car, and both of them clambered in for the short run up the rather overgrown driveway.

  “Who’re you?” inquired Charles in a friendly but not particularly interested tone.

  “My name’s Paul Kendale and I’m engaged to your sister,” replied Paul in a matter-of-fact way.

  “You mean you’re going to marry her?” said Charlotte as they stopped in front of the house.

  “I do.” He turned in his seat to smile at her.

  “How withering!” exclaimed Charlotte.

  “I’m sorry you feel that way about it. Are you so appalled at the prospect?”

  “Oh, no. That’s not what I mean by withering. Everyone says it at school now, and it just means exciting,” Charlotte explained cheerfully.

  “I see. Then I hope I’m withering in a nice way.”

  “I think,” said Charlotte, surveying him critically, “that perhaps you are.”

  Then she climbed out of the car and rushed into the house crying, “Katherine’s here! And she’s got a man with her called Paul Something, and she’s going to marry him. Isn’t it withering?”

  Naturally this detailed announcement, delivered at the top of Charlotte’s voice, brought the whole family into the hall. And Katherine found herself embracing her parents, presenting Paul, hugging her sister Gwen and inquiring after the absent Martin, all at one and the same time.

  In the confusion of the moment it was assumed that she had somehow known Paul for some time before she actually came to Morringham, and she saw no reason to undeceive anyone at that point. At least this assumption gave more of an air of probability to the position, and to Katherine’s extreme thankfulness, no one seemed to think detailed explanations were called for.

  From a parental view it would have been difficult to find Paul Kendale anything but acceptable, and Katherine realized that, far from querying the position, her mother found some difficulty in keeping her pride and satisfaction within discreet bounds.

  Indeed, when she got her child to herself for a few minutes—while Dr. Renner, assisted by Charles and Charlotte, was showing Paul the garden—she exclaimed, “Darling, it’s simply wonderful! Are you terribly happy?”

  “Of course.” Katherine said, smiling, and wondered if her genuine feeling of lightheartedness was merely due to the necessity of constantly reiterating her happiness. .

  “You can’t have known him very long, because I don’t think you ever mentioned him in your letters,” her mother went on pensively. “How—”

  “No, not very long,” Katherine agreed hastily: “But .don’t you think he’s attractive enough to sweep any girl off her feet, mother?”

  “Oh, indeed!” Mrs. Renner willingly followed this promising red herring. “I must say I do like a man to be tall and well set up, and I think it’s delightful that he doesn’t mind showing how devoted he is to you.”

  “Ye-es.”

  “I know charm and poise aren’t vital—but they do add to things. And of course, as a mere parent, I can’t help being gratified by the fact that he certainly is a splendid match.”

  “Well ... I suppose he is.” Katherine gave a little laugh, which was nicely calculated to suggest that she had not overlooked that obvious fact but that it had not weighed with her when she made her choice.

  “And then it will be wonderful to have you so near us when you’re married!’ her mother went on.

  “When we’re—Oh, yes, of course. I hadn’t thought of that.”

  “Hadn’t thought of it, darling?” Her mother looked justifiably surprised. “Why, it’s one of the nicest things about the whole arrangement. We miss you quite a lot, you know. And although I think you were wise to go to London to work, because it gave you a chance to be in a top firm, it’s lovely to think you’re marrying a local man, after all.”

  “Yes, of course it is!” Katherine kissed her mother and found herself almost wishing all this were true, after all—if only because the arrangement so obviously gave so much pleasure to her family.

  Poor darlings! They’re going to hate it when we pretend we’ve changed our minds—or whatever we are going to pretend, she thought unhappily.

  But then she remembered Paul saying she worried too much about future complications, and she gave herself up to enjoying the day as it was.

  She was a good deal astonished to see how well Paul fitted into the picture. Somehow she had not thought of his doing that. That he would play his part well she had not doubted. He was too clever and determined to do otherwise. But the extraordinary thing was that he seemed to merge quite naturally into the general family pattern, almost as though he was one of them.

  He and her father obviously got along splendidly. Her mother already looked at him with the half-fond pride of a satisfied mother-in-law, and Gwen said openly to her, “My dear, I don’t wonder you fell for him. I would myself if I hadn’t already fallen for our senior surgeon at the hospital.”

  “Have you really?” Katherine regarded her sister with sympathetic interest. “Seriously, do you mean?”

  “Oh, no—not really, because there isn’t any future in it, anyway,” Gwen conceded. “But we all adore him. He’s fiftyish, you know, and simply fascinating, with touches of gray in his hair and a very abrupt manner. He probably doesn’t know the junior staff exist,” she added, as though this were the final proof of fascination.

  “He sounds wonderful,” Katherine agreed kindly, for she had a vague idea that at Gwen’s age she also would have found this an irresistible combination. “But fifty is a bit old for you, isn’t it?”

  “Oh, of course. And, anyway, they say he’s very happily married, though I don’t think she looks the kind to understand him. Rather comfortable and cheerful and ordinary.”

  “He probably thinks the light shines out of her,” Katherine said.

  “I suppose he might.” But Gwen seemed reluctant to accept this idea in toto. “Anyway, it’s wonderful to have a bit of romance in one’s life, isn’t it? Especially during working hours. Well, you’ve found that out.”

  “Yes, indeed.” Katherine looked faintly startled because she thought immediately of Malcolm. But then she remembered her sister knew nothing about Malcolm and that Paul was supposed to be the breath of romance in her life. It was all really rather confusing—except that she found herself actually forgetting about Malcolm, sometimes for minutes on end, in the effort of posing as the girl who was happily engaged to someone else.

  Paul’s final triumph was that the twins approved of him wholeheartedly.

  “Can we come and stay with you when Katheri
ne and you are married?” asked Charlotte, leaning against the side of his chair and unashamedly rolling her really beautiful eyes at him.

  “Yes, I expect so. If Katherine says so.”

  “Katherine will like to have us. Won’t you, Kate?” Charles looked at his eldest sister with such innocent conviction of this that there was only one possible answer. And Katherine gave it.

  “Where are you going to live?” went on Charlotte, who was a great one for getting things satisfactorily settled.

  “I don’t know. We aren’t married yet,” Paul pointed out good-humoredly.

  “But you want to have a place to go into when you’re married,” Charlotte insisted. “Would you like quite a big place with a lovely garden? Because there’s one about mile and a half from here. You know it, Katherine. Old Mrs. Connett used to live there, but now it’s empty. It’s got a wonderful garden for me and Charles to play in. If you lived there it would be absolutely withering. Do you think you’d like that?” And she gave Paul a gentle push to make sure that she had his whole attention.

  “You’ll have to ask your sister,” said Paul basely. “It’s always the girl who decides these things, you know.” But he looked as though he found it oddly attractive to have a minx of ten leaning up against him and trying to decide his future for him.

  Altogether it was a curiously happy day. And even Katherine found an echo in her heart when Charlotte said on parting, “Oh, I wish today wasn’t over!”

  “There’ll be lots more of them,” her father said, ruffling her hair consolingly. And Katherine, noticing her mother’s contented smile, was suddenly stricken with overwhelming remorse at the thought of the disappointment she was preparing for them all.

  If it had been even remotely possible, she would have told them then and there that the whole thing was nothing but a bit of enjoyable playacting. But because there simply had to be a timing in these things, she somehow controlled the absurd impulse to confess. Then she kissed them all goodbye and got into the car beside Paul.

  “Goodbye, goodbye!” they all cried. “Come again soon.” And Charlotte more specifically added, “Come next weekend—please.”

  To Katherine’s surprise Paul said, “We’ll try,” in a promising sort of tone. Then he started the car and they drove away.

  “You shouldn’t have told Charlotte that,” Katherine protested as soon as they were out of earshot. “She’ll start building on it.”

  “Well—aren’t we coming if we can?” He looked surprised.

  “Paul—” she looked even more surprised than he did “—do you ... want to?”

  “Of course. I’ve fallen in love with Charlotte,” he declared lightly. “Not to mention your mother.”

  “But—” she clasped her hands together in her distress “—it isn’t as simple as that. Don’t you see that we’re preparing the most dreadful and unfair disappointment for them? The more we perfect this., .this act, the more completely they’re going to be disillusioned when it’s all over.”

  He was silent.

  “They like the idea of this bogus engagement. They’re simply thrilled at the thought of my marrying you—”

  “Yes, I noticed that,” he said. And looking ahead down the road, he smiled slightly with what she thought quite unforgivable satisfaction.

  “You don’t see anything but just what you want, do you?” She spoke angrily, even bitterly.

  “I’m extremely glad that it all went off so well, if that’s what you mean. What did you want, Katherine? That we should bungle it?”

  “No, of course not! I just didn’t somehow imagine them all being so ... so happy about it.” Her voice shook slightly. “I love them, and I didn’t realize quite how much I was going to hurt them. It was stupid of me—but I thought, somehow, we could keep this thing within bounds. Now I see that’s impossible.”

  “Charlotte’s going to be disappointed if we don’t go next week,” he said on a curiously obstinate note.

  “I know. But if we go she’s going to be even more disappointed later. And it isn’t only Charlotte, of course. She’ll get over it. But they’re all so pleased and p-proud.” She bit her lip again. “I must have been crazy not to see where this was leading.”

  “Where is it leading, Katherine?” he said softly. “Well, I’m telling you! They’re all planning happily on something that doesn’t exist. The kids are thrilled. Even father is gratified. And as for mother—mother’s feeling all the loving pride that mothers do feel when their daughters marry well and happily.”

  Katherine actually wiped away an angry tear and rushed on before he could say anything.

  “I suppose she’ll start telling people—why not? ‘Katherine is going to marry Paul Kendale—yes, Paul Kendale of Morringham. Such a nice fellow.’ Little does she know,” she added frankly. “And then, suddenly—ridiculously soon—it’s all over. Like a burst bubble,” Katherine said, without originality but with painful earnestness. “What are they going to feel like then?”

  “Pretty grim, I imagine.”

  “Exactly! And I shall have done it. In a horrid sort of way, I’ll have sacrificed my family’s feelings to your convenience. And there you sit and smile about it!”

  “I haven’t been smiling for at least three minutes,” he countered mildly. “If you want the truth, I don’t like things any more than you do, Katherine. And if I had my way, all this that you’re describing wouldn’t happen at all.”

  She turned and stared at him.

  “What do you mean? It has to happen eventually.”

  “No, it need not,” he said coolly. “Everything could be exactly as your family believes it to be. Only for that, of course, you would really have to marry me.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  There was a short and ragged silence. Then Katherine said unsteadily, “You’re not serious, are you?”

  “Of course I’m serious.”

  “You mean—you’re asking me to marry you? Really marry you, that is.”

  “I am.”

  “But why? I mean—you’re not in love with me or anything. You couldn’t be in so short a time.”

  “People marry for other reasons,” he reminded her with a smile. “Even the most unworldly person will concede that.”

  “Meaning that I’m unworldly, I suppose?”'

  “No, darling,” he said, and she thought that was the first time he had used that term with her, either seriously or as part of the masquerade. “I find you infinitely less hard and sophisticated than most of the people with whom I have to associate. And now I’ve seen your family background I know why. Your scale of values is probably not mine, but you’re not unworldly in the naive sense of the word, In fact—” he flashed a quick smile full at her “—I’m sure you’ll agree that people sometimes marry for less than love.”

  “Well, of course. But—” She hesitated for quite a long time. Then she said again, “Why do you want to marry me?”

  “Because I think I could live very happily with you,” he retorted frankly. “You’re gentle and kind and civilized, which we, as a family, are not. I find it immensely attractive. I also see that you come from a background that means that you would always be unquestioningly straight and fair. Not such a common thing in the world today, Katherine. And finally, although I hate to find myself in agreement with my father—I think it’s time I got married.”

  “You could choose ... someone else,” she said in a low voice.

  “I don’t want anyone else,” was the cool reply. “I want you.” And drawing up the car at the side of the country road, he turned in his seat and looked at her in the fading evening light. “I don’t know why I should pretend otherwise—I want to marry you, Kate.”

  “Don’t call me that,” she exclaimed sharply.

  “Why not?”

  “He called me that—always,” she said before she could stop herself.

  “And you associate it with being let down?”

  “Oh, I didn’t mean that. It’s just that—i
t was Malcolm’s name for me.”

  “All that is over,” he said quietly and, for him, almost gently. “Not only the romance of it, but the pain and humiliation and disappointment. There’s quite a different road opening, Katherine, if you will take it. If you will take me.”

  “Oh, I couldn’t possibly say—decide—now,” she exclaimed distractedly. “I don’t ... know. I never thought of such a thing. You’re being much too impulsive from your own point of view too, you know. You haven’t had time to decide either.”

  “I’ve had all the time I need.”

  “Well, I haven’t.” She tried to sound like a common-sensical person refusing to be stampeded. But there was something almost pleading in her voice as she said, “I must have more time to think it over.”

  “Of course. You don’t have to give a positive answer now—or tomorrow—or any specific time. I just want you to think of our engagement in a different light. It’s no longer a sort of expedient, to get me out of an awkward fix. It’s the real thing—until you choose to say otherwise.”

  “Oh, Paul, that’s not fair! It puts the onus of ... of breaking it on me.”

  “But—” he smiled at her “—if I don’t want it broken, isn’t the onus of breaking it on you anyway?”

  “No! It’s not a real engagement, whatever you like to say.”

  “To me it’s become completely real,” he said, still smiling. And bending forward, he kissed her lightly on her lips. “But the final decision rests with you.”