Montana Lawman Rescuer

by Linda Ford

  She blinked as if having to force herself to meet his gaze. “I expect she was.” Seeing his stubborn disbelief, she continued. “She would be shunned by so-called decent company. She had to leave her son behind in order to give him a decent life.”

  “You want me to believe she left me for my own good?”

  “It’s a possibility.”

  He wanted to refute it. But he couldn’t disagree with her when she held his hand and looked at him so intently.

  Her gentle smile was his undoing and he pulled her into his arms.

  “Think about it,” she said.

  He promised he would, though he couldn’t see what difference it would make. He’d learned to live with his past.

  Maybe she could learn to live without a past.

  “Would you be able to forgive me if I turn out to be a fallen woman?”

  Her question threw back the dark curtain he’d pulled into place when he saw her kissing that man in plain view. He had to answer honestly. “I don’t know.”

  “Fair enough.” She slipped into the house, and when he finally forced himself to move and stepped inside, she was gone. He could hear her moving about upstairs.

  Was this what she had feared since her arrival?

  Why hadn’t he guarded his heart more carefully?

  Chapter Fifteen

  The next day was Sunday and Emily jumped from bed. Jesse was home. Of course, that was not the reason for this bubble of joy inside her heart. Well, maybe in part. She’d again realized how his feelings about his mother had shaped him into the man he was—strong, unbending.

  Knowing he saw the world in black and white stopped her eager morning preparations. If her past contained something—anything—unpleasant she would be seen as black. Jesse had made that clear. There would be no welcome for her here.

  She shivered. Something about Fred Ellesworth unsettled her. Had she really known such an unsavory man in the past? It didn’t speak well for the kind of woman she’d been. She tried to dismiss the thought, but it weighed heavily on her mind as she finished dressing and made her way downstairs.

  She’d helped Mikey dress earlier. He and Gram were in the kitchen. Emily had heard Jesse go down the stairs but he wasn’t in the room.

  Gram answered her puzzled look. “Jesse went to check on things at the jail. He said he’d be back for breakfast.”

  Emily’s steps were measured as she set the table. Was he avoiding her? Seeing her as an echo of his mother?

  When Jesse stepped through the door a smile widened her mouth and then fled as she tried to gauge his feelings. Their gazes connected. He smiled and her insides warmed. If only her life could begin right here. For a moment she considered forgetting any effort to discover who she was.

  But then Jesse’s smile disappeared and he turned away, but not before she caught the doubt and uncertainty in her eyes.

  She helped serve the meal, her joy quenched by the dreadful possibilities of what she might have been.

  Soon afterward they left for church. “It’s good to be free of the threat of those men,” she said. The fear of being recognized by them and in danger was gone. She could go anywhere she wanted now.

  So many people greeted them and thanked Jesse for capturing the bad guys that it took longer than usual to get inside the church. When they did, Emily slipped in beside Gram with Mikey between herself and Jesse. She released a satisfied breath. Her peace was short-lived as Fred Ellesworth sat in a pew across the aisle. He looked her way, his gaze demanding before it slipped to Jesse at her side and then rested on Mikey. Something about the way he studied the boy made her grip Mikey’s hand.

  Hugh approached the pulpit and announced the opening hymn, and Emily ignored the man across the aisle. He meant nothing to her, despite his claims.

  Ignoring him proved more difficult than she anticipated, as at the end of the service, he waited for her to step into the aisle then followed her. He leaned close to speak softly. “Your sheriff might be interested in knowing more about you.”

  She forced herself not to react, though every nerve in her body twitched and she had an incredible urge to slap the man’s face.

  Jesse was several steps ahead, surrounded by eager people grateful for the work he’d done. As Fred drew closer, Emily noticed that several of those at Jesse’s side gave the man a frightened look and scurried away.

  What was that all about? Had Jesse noticed? But, of course, he had.

  She joined him and couldn’t stop herself from resting her hand in the crook of his elbow, even though he stiffened and studied Fred Ellesworth. She needed the strength and courage Jesse’s physical closeness provided.

  The dark cloud in the back of her mind that had been her company since the stagecoach accident swirled with fears that she could not calm.

  *

  The next day she learned she had reason to be fearful. Jesse came home for the noon meal with a troubled look on his face. Her first thought was that the trio in the jail had escaped and her heart raced.

  “Emily, can we talk?”

  She left Mikey with Gram and followed him outside. They went to the little bench, but somehow she knew this would not be a pleasant interlude like the ones they’d previously shared at this spot. Her knees shook, but he didn’t sit so she didn’t, either.

  He paced away three steps, rubbed the back of his neck then slowly turned. His face was a plane of hard lines and she shivered.

  “Did they escape?” It was the worst thing she could think of.

  He crossed his arms over his chest. The action made her feel very alone and afraid. “I had a caller this morning.”

  She nodded. People were eager to heap praise on him and it was well deserved.

  “Your Mr. Ellesworth paid me a call.”

  Her mouth twisted as she thought of the man’s boldness. “He’s not my Mr. Ellesworth.”

  Jesse went on as if she hadn’t voiced a protest. “He told me a story.”

  Emily stiffened, sensing the story was about her and wasn’t anything she wanted to hear.

  “He said he knew you in Lincoln, Nebraska. He offered his hand in marriage but withdrew the offer after you spent the night with a man and made no secret about it.” The way Jesse’s lip curled matched the way her insides reacted.

  “He said your reputation was ruined to the point you left town in disgrace. According to him, your aunt arranged for you to join her. I might have had doubt, but he said your aunt lived in Alliance.” Jesse turned away, disgust clear in his expression. It seemed he couldn’t bear to look at her.

  Her insides had grown so brittle she feared her next breath would shatter them into a thousand fragments. Could it be possible? Was she really that sort of woman? Why couldn’t she remember?

  “One more thing.”

  She forced herself to remain standing, though she had lost all feeling in her legs.

  “Mr. Ellesworth suggests Mikey is your child. The time from when you left Lincoln would indicate it might be so.”

  She let out a wail and collapsed to the bench, rocking back and forth over her knees. How could it be so? Was she really a fallen woman? “Can it be true?” Please, God, make it not so. Was this why she didn’t want to remember?

  “I didn’t want to believe him. But a letter came from Alliance today.”

  She sat up. “Someone who knows me?” Someone besides the horrible Mr. Ellesworth?

  “Why don’t I read it to you?”

  She nodded.

  “It’s from a woman who runs the Alliance Home for Children. She signs her letter as Matron Hilda.”

  “The Aunt Hilda of the letter in my Bible?” She wanted it to be good news, but the look on Jesse’s face warned her it might be otherwise. Although he was less than a yard away from her, it felt as if a huge chasm had divided the ground between them.

  “It would seem so. She says Miss Emily Smith has worked at the orphanage for four years having being highly recommended by her aunt, Mrs. Martha Morgan. She knows Mis
s Smith came from Lincoln but has little information apart from that. She says the woman is a great help, wonderful with the children and an asset to the home. The plan was for the boy, Michael, to be delivered to adoptive parents but the adoption has fallen through and the Matron requests that Miss Smith bring him back.”

  Jesse flipped the paper closed. “Everything confirms what Mr. Ellesworth says.” Except that Mikey was Emily’s child. He had only her word against Mr. Ellesworth’s. If only Mikey’s age didn’t fit the time Emily went to work at the orphanage.

  Emily studied her hands, unable to look at Jesse. A moment later his footsteps faded away, taking with him every hope for her future.

  She was a fallen woman. She knew Jesse would never see her as anything but a reflection of his mother. A woman he despised. He would feel the same toward Emily.

  One thing she knew without a doubt. Mikey was not her child. She would never have allowed him to be adopted by someone and lose touch with him.

  She didn’t know how long she sat there, immersed in misery, before she began to think. Her shaky weakness gave way to determination, and she rose and went to the house.

  Thankfully Jesse had departed. Her strength might not have lasted if she had to face him.

  Gram’s face was full of sympathy.

  “I can’t stay here any longer,” Emily said and went upstairs to pack. It was all well and good for this Matron Hilda to say she should take Mikey back to Alliance, but how was she to do that? She was penniless, homeless and a woman with a shameful past.

  She folded her few clothes into the basket. Even her clothes were not her own. She did the same for Mikey’s clothes, pressing each little garment to her lips. Oh, Mikey, if you were really mine I would never let you go.

  Gram came upstairs. “You don’t have to leave. You will always be welcome here.”

  “I don’t think everyone shares your opinion.”

  “Jesse can be a little hardheaded at times, but he’s got a good heart. He’ll come round.”

  Emily paused at her task and faced the older woman. “He has never forgiven his mother for her choices in life.”

  Gram nodded. “Like I say, he can be hard.”

  “He sees me as a copy of his mother. If he can’t forgive her, I know he’ll never grant me anything but his disdain.”

  Gram looked so sad that Emily wanted to hug her, but she wasn’t sure how people would react after hearing Mr. Ellesworth’s story. And she had no way of knowing if it was true or not.

  “Where will you go?”

  “I intend to throw myself on the mercy of the preacher and his wife.”

  “At least let me pay you for your help with the sewing.”

  “Absolutely not. You’ve given me a home for the past month. It is I who owe you.” Her belongings were gathered up, her Bible on the top of her things. At least she had One friend she could count on. Jesus had promised to be with her always. She found comfort and strength in that assurance even as her throat closed off with pain she would not give voice to.

  Downstairs she called Mikey to her. The boy took in the packed basket and gave her a surprised look.

  “We go?” he asked.

  “We’re going to stay with Evan and his mama and papa.” If they’ll have us. There was every reason to think they would not. “Or we might find some other place.”

  “Yesse go?”

  “No, sweetie. Jesse has to stay with Gram and take care of her.”

  “Muffin go?” He held onto the little dog’s fur.

  “Evan has a dog, remember?”

  “Me not go.”

  “Don’t you want to play with Evan?”

  Mikey looked at Muffin, at Gram and then at Emily. He read the determination in Emily’s face and sighed. “Me go.”

  But not with any enthusiasm, Emily thought.

  Gram hugged the boy. “Come and visit me often.”

  “’Kay.”

  Emily eased past Gram, wanting to quickly end this awkward moment.

  Gram reached for her and pulled her into a warm embrace. “I know there is more or perhaps less to the story that man told, but how do we find out the truth?”

  The tears Emily had been holding back threatened to pour from her eyes, and she turned away, grabbed her bag and headed for the door. How do we find out the truth? Why couldn’t Jesse have uttered those words?

  Because, as she’d said, her story was too close to his mother’s.

  Holding to Mikey’s hand, she went out the back gate and up the alley. Look at her. Hiding from public view because of accusations against her. There was something familiar about that thought. Had she really done what Mr. Ellesworth said? Why would she? It seemed so unlike who she felt she was. Had the blow to her head altered her personality?

  What did it matter? She had no way of finding out the truth. There was nothing she could do.

  Her feet ground to a halt. That wasn’t exactly true. There was something she could do.

  She reached the manse and knocked. Annie flung the door open.

  “Come on in. What a nice surprise.” She saw the basket on Emily’s arm. “What’s this?”

  “You better hear my story before you let me in.”

  The two little boys ran off to play and Emily repeated the story Jesse had told her. “So I can’t stay there.”

  “You can stay here.”

  “Are you sure? If people hear, they will judge you for having me.”

  “I would suggest they hear the words of our Lord, ‘He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone.’” She pulled Emily into the kitchen. “We have lots of space.” Annie led the way down a hall. “Choose your room.”

  “Thank you. I won’t stay long.” Just long enough to find a way to leave.

  “Stay as long as you like. I’ll leave you to get settled, then come and join me for tea.” Annie slipped away.

  Emily sat on the bed as every ounce of energy drained from her. A few minutes later she went to the kitchen. “There is something I must do. Can I borrow paper and pen to write a letter?”

  “You’ll find both in the front room. Help yourself.”

  “Thank you.” She sat at the writing desk and composed her letter.

  Dear Matron Hilda,

  Thank you for the information regarding me. I still do not have my memory back and would like the address for my Aunt Martha so I can write her regarding my family.

  I am currently unable to travel, but Mikey is safe with me and I will take good care of him.

  Sincerely,

  Emily Smith

  As she signed her name she felt a touch of familiarity. Was this her customary signature? So many questions.

  She sealed the envelope, tucked the letter into her pocket to mail later and returned to the kitchen where Annie shared tea with her.

  How long before she couldn’t enjoy such pastimes? As she’d once told Jesse, women with a soiled reputation were not welcomed in decent company. She doubted if Jesse would have any cause to repeat the story Mr. Ellesworth had told, but the latter had no reason not to spread it far and wide.

  *

  Jesse listened to the man before him. Mr. North had come in to complain about Fred Ellesworth.

  “He wants my land so bad he’s offering more than it’s worth. At the same time, he’s uttering vague threats. Says it’s in my best interest to sell now while I can. He even went so far as to say that if something happened to my wife or one of my sons I might wish I had left earlier. Now, I know you might think it was simply idle conversation, but I saw the look in his eyes and the way his mouth turned into an ugly smile as he looked at Johnny. I know a threat when I hear one.” The man leaned forward. “Sheriff, there’s something odd going on and I think you should find out what.”

  “I intend to do just that.” This was the third man to come in with complaints about Ellesworth. “Let me do some investigating.”

  “Thanks, sheriff.” Mr. North shook Jesse’s hand and left.

 
It was time for Jesse to take a ride to Great Falls and ask a few questions, and he welcomed the excuse to leave town. The trio of murdering robbers had been tried and found guilty. Five days ago, Emily had moved out. It was for the best, Jesse told himself repeatedly. She was not the woman he’d thought her to be. Yes, he’d found her charming and sweet but having had a mother who was a soiled dove, he had no intention of repeating the experience with a courting-aged woman.

  If he left town this afternoon, he would be absent from church and not have to endure seeing Emily sitting with Annie, Mikey at her side. His stomach soured to know she’d been willing to let the boy go to strangers or live the rest of his life in an orphanage. At least Jesse’s mother had left him with a loving grandmother.

  He found Clarence and told him he was in charge while Jesse was gone. “I’ll be back when I find out what’s going on.” He bought some supplies at the store and let George know his intention. Then he saddled his horse and stopped at the house to pick up his bedroll and tell Gram his plans.

  “You are misjudging Emily.” She’d repeated the same message every time Jesse came home.

  “I wish I could believe it, but all the evidence says otherwise.” He threw some cookies into a sack.

  “You believe that man. I don’t care for his shifty eyes.”

  She might be more right about that man than she knew. “There’s also a letter that substantiates his story.”

  “Jesse, the way I see it, this isn’t so much about Emily as it is about your mother.”

  He stopped rummaging through the cupboards for food to take with him and stared at her. “There are similarities, but this isn’t about my mother.”

  “Those similarities are blinding you to the possibility of other explanations.”

  “Hogwash.” He found a can of peaches and two of beans and added them to his stash. “I’ll be back when I find out why Mr. Ellesworth is so interested in certain pieces of land.”

  “I pray when you get back you will have learned the truth about what’s in your own heart.”

  He knew what was in his heart, and it was caution. Determination not to live the same pain he’d endured as a child—the shame of illegitimacy, the shame of what his mother did and the disappointment of having her choose a life of shame over him.