Without Regret (Broken Roads Book 1)

by Cat Mason

  Swallowing hard, I nod my head. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I smile up at him. “I can do that.”

  “Good.” Leaning in, he presses his mouth to mine, slowly moving his lips and teasing me with slow flicks of his tongue. His hands move over my back, stopping just above my ass. Nipping my bottom lip, playfully, he chuckles. “Because as nice as you look naked in my bed, or standing here pressed up against me, I’d rather have you naked and wrapped around me in my bathtub.”

  “Is that so?” I ask, arching my brow.

  His smile widens as his hands move down and cup my ass. “It is.”

  Chapter 9

  The next morning, I wake in my own bed, part of me wishing I had taken Ray up on his offer to spend the night. The truth is, had Alyssa been there with me, I am sure I would have without question. I am not comfortable leaving her so much, especially overnight. Though I know he wanted me to stay, he understood completely. However, once he drove me home, I ended up tossing and turning in my bed until I took a sleeping Alyssa from her crib and put her in bed with me.

  The connection between Ray and I is something I have never experienced before. Sex is one thing, but with Ray it is something else entirely. The level of intimacy, the heightened sensation I feel when he simply touches me, it is like he knows my body better than I do.

  My bedroom door flies open, Kate strutting in like she is working the walk of shame runway. Flopping down onto the bed beside me, she sighs. “Have fun?” I ask as she stretches out and makes herself comfortable.

  “Zack is insane,” she laughs. “We danced until three am. My feet are killing me, but it was worth it.”

  “Great,” I reply, praying silently that she stops there.

  Leaning in real close, she raises a brow. I wince, bracing myself for the unwanted information overload that I can see coming behind her smile. “Then,” she says, flashing me a smile. “He drove us to a little place outside the city and gave me everything I wanted.” The moment my jaw drops, she flops back onto the pillow and laughs. “For breakfast, Rach. We went to a little diner inside a truck stop.”

  My eyes widen. “You two didn’t?” I ask, wanting to immediately slap myself in the head for asking at all.

  She shakes her head. “I didn’t close the deal. Though, I will tell ya, when we do,” she says, fanning herself dramatically. “We’re gonna need fire-resistant sheets. I’m tellin’ you. H-O-T.” Taking a breath, she studies my face. “How was your night?” she asks, waggling her brows. “The way you two were eating each other up at the club, I knew those dance moves were headed horizontal quick.”

  “Ray is great. Amazing, actually.”

  “Oh yeah?” she asks, arching a brow.

  I can feel the blush spread across my face. “Shit. No.” Groaning, I scrub a hand over my face in an attempt to get my head together. “Okay, that’s not what I meant,” I sigh, knowing that my foot is so crammed down my damn throat right now that I could tickle my kidneys.

  Rolling onto her side, Kate pulls the baby into her arms and drops a kiss on the top of her head. “I know what you mean,” she says, smiling down at Alyssa as she begins to stir. My sister snuggles closer, sighing contently.

  Just as Lys’ eyes begin to open, my phone rings. Sitting up, I grab it from the bedside table, smiling when I see Ray’s name lighting up the screen. “Hi,” I breathe into the phone.

  “Morning,” he purrs sweetly. “Have plans for today?”

  “Not sure,” I answer honestly. “We haven’t gotten out of bed yet.”

  He chuckles into the phone. I hear creaking of what sounds like a wooden chair in the background and he sighs. “I was thinking, maybe, if you two have nothing planned, you’d come to my place this afternoon. I can cook and the three of us can spend the day together.”

  Looking down at my baby who is appears to be fiercely determined to cram her fist into her mouth while my sister snores softly beside her, I smile. “Alyssa, do you want to spend the day with Ray?” I ask, brushing my fingers over her light brown hair. Kicking her feet, her eyes focus on her fingers as they move. “I don’t know if you can tell, but she is very excited.”

  Ray laughs, the warm sound is like music to my ears. “I’m glad. I’ll see you beautiful girls around two?” he asks. “You remember how to get here, right?”

  “I do,” I reply as Alyssa begins to babble and fuss around the fingers she is now chewing on. “See you then, Ray.”

  After feeding and changing the baby, I leave my unconscious sister in my bed and head downstairs. After breakfast with Mom and Dad, I spend what is left of my morning on the rug in the den with Alyssa. With a sappy smile on my face, I watch proudly as she pushes up on her hands, her concentration focused solely on rolling over. My sweet girl is so determined, she will be up and running in no time.

  It amazes me that Tim could ever be okay with missing priceless little moments like these. I mean it has not been easy. The sleepless nights, diapers, spit up, and everything that goes along with being a parent, they can be scary at times. But I would not trade one second of this time with her. The way she looks up at me, the sweet smiles, even if they are just gas, are moments I could never willingly give up.

  Snatching up Alyssa, my mom volunteers to dress her and pack her diaper bag for me while I throw on jeans and a black tank top. Snatching Kate’s jean jacket from her closet, I also grab a pair of silver flats before throwing on enough make-up to make myself presentable. By the time I make it downstairs, Mom has the baby strapped into her carrier and a bag all packed up beside the door. “Sure you don’t want to leave her with Grandma?” she asks, handing me my purse.

  “Kick Kate out of the house and spend time with Dad,” I reply with a wink. “If he’s up for it, make him take you out.”

  Squaring her shoulders, she nods. “Maybe I will.” Pressing a kiss to my cheek, she pats my arm. “Have a good time, Sweetheart.”

  Alyssa is quiet most of the car ride over to Ray’s condo. Just as I climb out of the car, the front door swings open and he heads our way. “Hey,” he says, wrapping his arms around me. “There’s my girls.” Relaxing into his embrace, I bring my lips to his and sigh against his mouth.

  I really like how he says hello.

  Crying and fussing from the backseat has me pulling back. “Grab her bag, Baby,” Ray says, pressing a soft kiss to my temple. “I’ll get her.”

  Before I can respond, Ray is already moving around to unlatch the buckles and lifts her into his arms. Her fussing stops the moment he has her cradled against his chest, replaced with a mixture of babbles. Closing the door, Ray wraps his other arm around me, steering us up to the front door.

  Stepping inside, I gasp, my eyes widening in shock as I take in the room that is very different from what I saw last night. In the corner is a pink portable playpen and swing. Toys are scattered all over the rug in the center of the room. “Shouldn’t leave that open like that. You’ll catch flies,” Ray chuckles, reminding me of the day we met.

  Walking over to the toys, Ray sits on the floor. Lying Alyssa on a pink pad attached to a large plastic toy with a mirror, he flips a switch. Her legs kick, her feet hitting a pedal that causes music to play and lights surrounding the mirror to flash. Alyssa squeals, her little fists clenching as she kicks her feet furiously. Turning to me, he pats the spot on the rug beside him. “You’re too far away.”

  Stepping further into the room, I drop my purse and the diaper bag into a chair and make my way over. Sitting down beside him, his arm immediately wraps around me, tucking me into his side.

  “Thank you,” I whisper, unable to believe that he put this much effort and thought into today.

  “This morning, I got to thinking,” he informs me, not taking his eyes from the baby as she plays. “I want you to feel comfortable here. Both of you. I called my mom and we went shopping. This means you don’t have to lug shit back and forth for the baby. I hope that it also means you will want to spend time here with me.”

  Shiftin
g to face him, I blink back tears. “You keep surprising me,” I reply, pressing my lips to his. “No one, other than family, has ever been so good to us.”

  “Well, get used to it,” he says, brushing the tips of his fingers over my cheek. “I don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon, Baby.”

  The front door flies open, making us both jump. Standing in the doorway is a woman with light brown hair who has to be in her late fifties. Rolling up the sleeves of her cream blouse, she smiles at us.

  “Mom?” Ray asks, blinking his eyes several times. “What are you doing here?”

  So this is Momma…

  Shaking her head, she laughs. “Ray, did you honestly think that I would spend my morning shopping with you, then help you set all this up and not pop in to meet the girls?”

  “Sorry, Son,” Bob says, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. “I tried to stop her.”

  “Lies,” she laughs, glaring at him. “You did no such thing, you old softie! You ran two stop signs and cut off a taxi to get here,” she teases him as I push to my feet. Grabbing my hand, she pulls me into a hug. “It is so nice to meet you, Rachel,” she says, squeezing me a little too hard. “I’m Lila, Ray’s Mom. I have heard so much about you.” Releasing me, her eyes immediately drop to the floor where the baby lies babbling to her reflection. “Oh, Bob! Would you look at how precious? May I?”

  “Of course.” I barely get the words out before she bends and scoops her from the floor.

  Walking over, she takes a seat on the couch next to Bob, her eyes fixed on Alyssa. “Your pictures do no justice, Ray.”

  Standing, he shakes his head. “I told you that, Mom.” Taking my hand, he steers me over to the loveseat across from them. Once we sit, he tucks me into his side and kisses my hair. “Is it safe to assume, since you decided to crash my Sunday with my girls, that you’re also staying to eat too?”

  “Don’t be a smartass, Raymond Robert Mitchell. I will hand your father this baby right now and get a wooden spoon to whip your ass with,” she scolds, unable to help her spreading smile. “For your information, we can’t stay. Your father is taking me to the casino and dinner. I had only implied that it may be a good idea to check in on you since we are in the neighborhood and all,” she shrugs. “Besides, I wanted to meet Rachel and Alyssa.”

  “We better get going, Lila,” Bob says, tapping his watch. “Jimmy will never let me hear the end of it if we’re late again.”

  “Well,” she replies, cooing to Alyssa. “Someone should tell Jimmy that not everyone runs on military time. Sometimes, losing track of time, leads to some of the greatest experiences in our lives.”

  “That they do,” he agrees, grinning at her.

  Pushing to her feet, Lila steps around the coffee table and hands the baby to me. “It was so nice to meet you, Rachel. We will get together again soon when there is more time to chat.”

  “It was nice to meet you too,” I reply as Ray stands to his feet.

  Following behind them, he says goodbye and shows them out. Locking the door, he sighs. “Sorry about that.”

  “Don’t be,” I laugh, shaking my head. “I like them. Besides, you’re around my family all the time.”

  “I should probably get the food started,” he says, glancing at the clock on the wall.

  “Need any help?”

  Cracking his knuckles, he shakes his head. “No. I have thought of everything. You just relax and let me work my magic.” Turning away from us, he heads into the kitchen.

  Alyssa whines, nuzzling into my chest. “Are you hungry?” I coo to her softly. Sliding out of my jacket, I get us comfortable on the couch. While she eats, I stare in wonder at the little nursery corner that must have taken him hours to set up. It is amazing to me that Ray went to all this trouble for us. The sweet and thoughtful gesture only proves, once again, how he really does, genuinely, want us around. The idea of him working his way through the baby section, loading down a shopping cart with all of this stuff, is too funny.

  Once I have finished feeding and burping the baby, she is nearly asleep when I place her in the playpen. Making my way to the kitchen, I stop in the doorway, watching as Ray covers a pan with foil and places it in the oven. “Hope you like baked ziti,” he says, turning to face me.

  “I’m starting to think you are too good to be true,” I reply, leaning against the doorframe. “It looks like a nursery storefront display in your living room, you’re cooking for me, telling me to relax. I keep waiting to find something wrong with you.”

  Ray laughs. “Let’s see what I can think of.” Making his way around the room, he scratches his chin. “I refuse to eat peas or watch wrestling. When I fly, I have to be drunk or sedated or else I hyperventilate. When I was nine, I was suspended from school because I cut off one of Rhonda Caswell’s pigtails. Oh!” Stopping in front of me, he blushes. “On Zack’s twenty-first birthday, we auditioned at a male strip club.”

  “You what?” I blurt with a laugh.

  “Okay, that last one is mildly exaggerated,” he laughs, holding up his hands. “Zack had a thing for the owner of the club and he’s the one who actually auditioned. I only sat there, drinking my beer and laughing my ass off while she not only told him he couldn’t dance, but that he wasn’t her type.”

  “Aw, poor Zack. Was she looking for someone older?”

  “Yeah, and a woman,” Ray says, nodding his head. “Turns out Bianca was a lesbian.”

  “Oh,” I say, unable to help my laugh. “Well, yeah. Then he wouldn’t be her type, would he?”

  Pulling my chin up so that my eyes meet his, he studies my face. “And, for the record, I’m not too good to be true, Rachel. You’ve only been in some lousy company.”

  “You’re right,” I agree, nodding my head. “When I met Tim in college, he was well…” Closing my eyes to push back the tears, I blow out a breath. “Different.” Opening them again, I take a second to try and find my words. “We hung out in the same crowd, you know? He flirted and asked me out relentlessly. After a while, I gave in and we ended up dating. Eventually, we, you know.” I stop, feeling the blush begin to spread over my face. Sliding his hands down my arms, he takes my hands, silently encouraging me to continue. “After a while, things changed. He wasn’t the same. Tim was my first and I had nothing to gauge it by; but I knew things weren’t what they should be. I was unhappy. Lonely and miserable. He started withholding affection from me as like some kind of punishment or something. Never once in three years did he ever say ‘I love you’, though he expected it of me without hesitation. Eventually, he didn’t even want to go out with our friends as a couple. He constantly made excuses to stay in and do whatever. If I even mentioned double dating or going out, it was instantly a fight. I quickly learned to avoid those arguments at all costs. I quit suggesting we do anything. People stopped calling and coming by. I felt isolated. When graduation came, I decided to break things off and come home with my family, but—”

  “You found out you were pregnant with Alyssa,” Ray finishes for me.

  BINGO!

  I nod. “I thought it was a sign. I had hoped when he made me quit work and move in with him that things would get better. But they didn’t.” Closing my eyes, I try again to push back the tears, but they quickly spill over onto my cheeks. “Tim was demanding. The house was never clean enough. I was never good enough. No matter what I did, I couldn’t make him happy. Though, I refused to stop trying. After I had Alyssa it only got worse. He had little interest in me and absolutely none in her.” I choke on a sob, my emotions boiling over. “It was like he couldn’t stand to look at me. He didn’t want to see me, part of me wonders if he enjoyed making me feel worthless and invisible. I would cry myself to sleep every fucking night trying to figure out what I had done wrong.”

  Pulling me into him, Ray blows out a breath. “He’s a fucking idiot. You said that Tim didn’t want to see you. That’s the thing that gets me baby, the man you give your heart to should see nobody but you. You truste
d him with that part of you, expecting him to protect it. He failed you, not the other way around,” he says, tipping my chin up and pressing his lips to mine.

  Pushing up on my toes, I sigh against his lips, wanting to end the conversation that is quickly becoming too intense. I need my brain to shut off. The kiss quickly turns from sweet and soothing to extremely hot and demanding. My hands slip into his hair, yanking the strands. Groaning against my lips, he turns us, pressing me back against the wall.

  “As much as I wish I could take that hurt away, Baby,” Ray says, breaking our kiss. “I can’t. Though, because I know how amazing you are, I’m glad he fucked up because that means you’re here with me.” Trailing his kisses along my jaw, he stops just below my ear. “If it were humanly possible, my mouth would never leave yours. Do you have any idea how important you are to me? The best parts of my day are the moments spent with you.”

  Pounding on the front door makes me jump. “Really?” Ray asks in frustration. “Come back later!” he shouts, rolling his eyes. The pounding continues. “For fuck’s sake,” he shouts, releasing me and stomping toward the door. “You wanna knock a little harder? The door’s still on the goddamn hinges.” Flipping the lock, he yanks open the door. “No!” he shouts, immediately trying to slam it shut again. “Fuck off, asshole. Access denied.”

  “I had a feeling you’d try that code word shit,” Zack shouts. “I’ve brought reinforcements. You can’t lock me out.” Pushing passed Ray, Zack eyes me and sniffs the air. “Mmm.” Smirking, he waggles his brows. “Smells like pasta and the promise of smokin’ hot sex in here.”