Temptation in Paradise

by Jyoti Singh

  Sid stood up and said politely, ‘This is Niki,’ introducing her very matter of factly.

  ‘Hello, Niki.’ Her husky voice made it sound suggestive. Niki smiled but did not stand up.

  ‘It is so lovely to see you, Sid. Jay and I saw you during the comedy act and I really wanted to come over and say hi!’ she said.

  ‘Where is Jay?’ asked Sid.

  ‘Oh, he received an urgent phone call so he’s gone ahead. We were on our way out.’ Gauri’s smile was warm. ‘Would love to exchange numbers so that we can stay in touch.’

  Sid pulled a card from his wallet and handed it over and Gauri did the same. Niki was pleased he did not ask for her phone and punch in the number, like he had for her. She was probably reading too much into this.

  ‘I have to rush now but will be in touch soon so that we can catch up… Do keep yourself free this coming Friday; we’re having a small get-together at our place and it would be really nice if you could join us.’ She looked up at Sid with a familiarity that made Niki uncomfortable. ‘Niki could come too,’ she added as an afterthought.

  ‘Sure, will check my calendar. I may be travelling.’ Sid was polite.

  ‘Lovely seeing you again, Sid. ‘Bye, Niki,’ she said and walked towards the exit.

  Niki watched the sway of her hips and noticed how people cleared a path for her, despite her small stature. Then she looked at Sid and saw that his eyes were on her too. His expression was shuttered.

  Riled, Niki asked, ‘So are you going to tell me or what?’

  ‘Tell you what?’ He looked straight at her but there was no revelation there.

  ‘Why Gauri rattled your cage,’ Niki persisted.

  ‘Let it go, Niki… Come on, let’s dance.’ He pulled her onto the floor and started to move to the music. It was so loud that there was no further opportunity to get the answers she needed.

  Although Sid seemed enthralled by the music, Niki realised that the man could not dance. Maybe that was the reason Sid was not the right guy for her – he had no sense of rhythm. That and, of course, the fact that he was so cagey about Gauri. There was only one other person who could help clear her confusion – Tanya. Niki decided she would call her first thing tomorrow.

  Chapter Five

  They were some of the last people to leave the pub. Sid had downed a few more drinks in the interim while Niki had judiciously stuck to her two drink limit, knowing she would be driving back. Sid had not encouraged any real conversation by keeping Niki on the dance floor, intermittently making light observations about other dancers. He knew he was a terrible dancer and was not ashamed to admit it or make a fool of himself. He was excellent at coding and developing algorithms; how many of the good dancers could do that? Sid wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol that was addling his mind or the chance encounter with Gauri.

  ‘Ready to leave?’ Niki asked. She had been distant and all business after he had shut down her questions about Gauri. He was not ready to discuss it with her just yet and that was his prerogative. Why didn’t she understand that?

  ‘Yes. All set.’ Sid’s smile was placating but it did not work.

  The ride back was uncomfortable for different reasons now. There was not much traffic but Sid was still in the throes of his physical awareness of Niki, especially having watched her dance with fluid, sensual movements for the most part of the evening. She had a wonderful sense of rhythm. Her body against his on the motorcycle was a delicate torment, if only she knew, but, most of all, Niki’s body language told him he was persona non grata as far as she was concerned. Once she had put on her helmet, she was all but a stranger to him.

  Luckily for Sid, the ride wasn’t long so he didn’t get the time to ruminate further. Once they reached her home, Niki waited for Sid to disembark before parking her motorcycle and removing her helmet. Her eyes were like glass. She waited silently for Sid to remove his helmet and hand it to her. Sid wanted to reach her somehow, explain that this had nothing to do with her and everything to do with his unresolved anger at Gauri. He hadn’t realised how much of it he had carried through the years and he didn’t want Niki to know that he was still smarting at some deep, emotional level even after all this time. So much so he’d had to physically remove himself from the pub to gain perspective before facing Niki again.

  ‘Let me help you, Niki,’ he said.

  She was holding the two helmets in her arms and her handbag and keys in her hands. She seemed burdened.

  ‘I’ll manage… It was a wonderful evening, thank you,’ she replied politely, but her voice was cold.

  ‘Don’t be like this…’ Sid wanted so much to just pull her into his arms and kiss her.

  ‘Like what, Sid? What do you want from me?’ Niki sounded frustrated.

  ‘I just want you to understand that I don’t want to talk about Gauri, at least not yet.’

  ‘Then don’t. How does it really concern me?’ Niki was putting up walls and he didn’t like it.

  ‘You’re right; it doesn’t,’ he said in resignation.

  ‘God! You are impossible,’ she said and turned to walk away.

  Sid put his hand on her shoulder and pulled her to him. Her back cradled against him, just like it had on the motorcycle, only now they were standing and it somehow felt more sensual. He pulled her hair back, bent to place a gentle warm kiss on the nape of her neck and whispered, ‘Trust me, Niki. Gauri is really a ghost from the past and I’m not ready to discuss her with you right now, but I promise I will.’ He felt Niki soften and lean into him. Sid reached his arms around her and encountered the helmets. She turned around and now the helmets were between them. There was just no graceful way to kiss her but Sid made a valiant effort and was rewarded with a fraction of the previous night’s surrender and the promise of their close encounter earlier that evening. Niki was still holding out.

  She stepped back and said, ‘Goodnight, Sid,’ before walking to the elevator. Sid watched her struggle with the button but didn’t want to endanger the fragile peace he had established. Besides, she was armed with helmets and, knowing Niki, that could be dangerous. He waited till the elevator doors closed before heading to his car.

  Niki wanted to scream in frustration when she entered her flat. The man was driving her crazy with all this secrecy about Gauri. What could she possibly have done to him that he would react this way? At some level, it was not the fact that he would not tell her that was bothering Niki; it was that maybe the secret was too big. Tanya was the only one who could help her understand this. It was two a.m. Too late to call her. This would have to wait, even though Niki was impatient.

  Niki changed and got ready for bed. Her mobile registered a text: Patience, Niki.

  ‘For what, Sid?’ she replied.

  It took a while for the response to come: For another day. I will explain tomorrow.

  The message was so cryptic that Niki could make no sense of it. Would he explain why she needed to be patient or would he explain this whole Gauri story? She gave up and went to bed. She would deal with it tomorrow.

  Niki did not stand on ceremony. ‘Who the hell is Gauri and why does she have Sid spooked?’ she asked Tanya first thing in the morning.

  She had not slept well. Forget Sid; it was Gauri who had invaded her dreams. Not as the petite, beautiful creature of reality but as a monstrous giant witch. It was Saturday—a day Niki usually slept in to recover from the travails of the week—but today she couldn’t wait to get out of bed and have it out with Tanya first and then Sid.

  Tanya’s response was groggy; she had slept in. Grrr! ‘Um… Gauri who?’

  ‘The one who was in graduate school with you…’ Niki clarified.

  ‘Why do you ask?’ Tanya seemed to be surfacing from her sleep-induced stupor.

  ‘God! What is with all the questions? Sid and you are just the same…’ Niki’s frustration knew no bounds.

  ‘Sid told you?’ Tanya’s voice was probing.

  ‘Of course not, silly. Why else am I calling you
?’

  ‘Aha! Then how do you know about Gauri?’ Tanya was glad she was only on the phone line with Niki and not in front of her. Niki would have throttled her.

  ‘Okay, it’s like this… Sid and I went to this pub yesterday, where we met Gauri. Sid turned white when he saw her, like he had seen a ghost or something. When I asked him about her, he just said she had been in graduate school with you guys. Then, later, Gauri came over to say hi and Sid was unemotional and flat like he didn’t want her to know how he really felt about her. They exchanged numbers and the usual pleasantries. Now, Sid will just not tell me who this Gauri is and why she bothers him so much… So, again, who the hell is this Gauri?’ Niki said.

  She needed answers to be able to make a decision. Sid had the ability to get under her skin like no other man she had met. This was about the time that Niki usually excused herself from relationships, when it really started to matter whether the man was being authentic or not. She didn’t like to go deeper. Deeper meant that she needed a person. Deeper meant she could not look after herself. Deeper meant that if she were to lose this person, there could be some serious damage to her emotional health. She could never give that much power to another.

  ‘She was his girlfriend in and after graduate school,’ Tanya finally volunteered.

  ‘I gathered that. It’s what happened that I need to understand…’ Niki demanded an explanation.

  ‘I don’t have the exact details. For that, you’ll have to speak to Sid. All I know is that she dumped him for this ambitious financial whiz sort of guy and Sid didn’t take it too well.’ Tanya’s voice was resigned.

  ‘Jay?’ Niki sought confirmation.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me this at the outset?’ Niki asked.

  ‘I didn’t want you to meet him with any preconceived notions, Niki. He deserved a chance… I thought that it would be best if Sid told you himself.’ Tanya sighed.

  ‘You’re my sister, Tanya. You should have given me all the information so that I could decide for myself… I understand in these times and at Sid’s age, everyone has some skeleton or other in their closet. Essentially, we are all screwed up in some way or the other.’

  ‘I know you, Niki… You would have used your logical brain, factored in all these historical details and found a reason not to like him.’

  ‘How do you know? Is it really better finding out like this?’ The conversation was veering towards abstraction and Niki knew it was time to call off.

  ‘Come over, Niki… spend the day with us and, for once, take my advice… Don’t analyse this to death. It is in the past,’ Tanya placated Niki.

  ‘When it casts such a large shadow, the past can actually become the present…’ It was Niki’s turn to sigh. She was unaware of the prophetic nature of her insight. She signed off saying she would think about coming over after she had completed some of her usual weekend chores.

  She gave herself to the physical demands of cleaning, scrubbing and washing but her mind was on Sid and Gauri. Sid had said he would explain today and it was hard to wait for his call so Niki jumped on her motorcycle and headed for a long ride along the foothills of the Aravallis to clear her head. It always worked for her. The ride involuntarily ended at Tanya’s.

  She spent the most part of the morning trying to engage in light conversation about work and other issues that had cropped up during the week with Tushar and Tanya. They then ate a heavy lunch of stuffed potato parathas with yoghurt and pickle as accompaniments. A follow-up nap was mandatory and Niki did manage to grab some shut-eye. It was a welcome rest after her sleepless night and she woke up feeling better about everything. Sleep really was the magical antidote to the tribulations of life. It was what had put her on the path to sanity after her parents’ untimely demise. This was a piffling problem in comparison.

  By the evening her equanimity took a beating. Sid had still not called. She headed home with a sense of bitterness. Maybe Sid was just like all those other men—cowardly, morally compromised, irritating imbeciles.

  ‘Want to go for a walk, Niki?’ Sid called just after seven p.m.

  ‘I’m in the middle of something… so when and where?’ Niki was just folding laundry but didn’t want Sid to know that she had waited all day for his call.

  ‘Right now. There is this lovely forest path near here…’ Sid replied.

  ‘Right now? And where is here?’ Niki asked.

  ‘I’ve just parked my car in your building complex.’ Sid’s voice didn’t betray any emotion.

  ‘I’ll need at least ten minutes to change.’ Niki kept her sudden enthusiasm to herself.

  ‘I’ll be waiting in your foyer.’ Sid sounded weary.

  ‘Would you like to come up and wait?’ Niki offered, despite reservations.

  ‘No, I’m good…’

  Niki hung up and rushed to her room. She pulled on a pair of black jogging culottes to match a tight sports tank top and put on her bedraggled pair of trainers. She ran a comb through her freshly washed hair. She voted against wearing any make-up, not even her favoured coral lipstick. Although she did spritz on some perfume in a last-minute concession to meeting Sid.

  She reached the foyer in the promised ten minutes to find Sid standing with his feet apart looking at the setting sun. He was wearing a pair of khaki walking shorts with a navy blue polo shirt and tan moccasins. Niki had to admit that he was a very handsome man—someone who could make her feel things she had never felt before. She had not gone past five dates with anyone in her life and that was usually the point when the men became all hands. At twenty-nine, she was not personally ashamed to admit that she had never been with a man, although she’d never told a single one of her dates for fear that it would mean something to them, pose a different sort of challenge. The walk would count as her third solo date with Sid, if one were to include the impromptu lunch and yesterday. She still had a buffer of two more before she decided to pull out. A lot would depend on what Sid had to say today.

  ‘I’m here, Sid,’ she said shyly.

  He turned around to look at her and, as always, she felt as if he saw her. In two strides, he had reached where she was standing and wrapped her in his arms. She was surprised by the demonstration and her arms involuntarily rose to circle his waist. They stood quietly for a few moments. Then he landed a soft kiss on the top of her head and stepped back.

  ‘Should we go?’ he asked, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

  ‘Sure.’ Niki wasn’t accustomed to feeling so uncertain. Her conversations with men in these circumstances were rarely organic. Usually, she had already analysed the situation and the man and prepared the essence of the exchange in her head. She then ran down the points during her discussion. The man never stood a chance and she was never completely present because it was about achieving the outcome she was looking for. So far, it had always ended in one way, with the man retreating after being whipped by Niki’s rehearsed arguments. Sid was different. She was never prepared. He always surprised her.

  ‘Come this way,’ he said as they started walking at an ambling pace. Sid was mindful that his loping strides were much longer than Niki’s. They entered the forest path through a gate and Niki was amazed that she didn’t know about its existence. On either side of the paved path grew woodland of Velvet Mesquite trees that were endemic to the region. Interspersed with wild bougainvillea, cactus and a few other species Niki didn’t recognise, the forest was a piece of heaven right in the middle of the bustling city. The sounds of traffic faded as they walked silently along the path and Niki was overcome by the natural beauty that surrounded her; it calmed her and made her feel amenable. Sid was a wise man.

  ‘How on earth did you find this place? I’ve been living here for over two years and even I didn’t know it existed,’ she asked, finally breaking the silence.

  ‘There is this little thing called the Internet and if you use something called Google you can find almost anything,’ he ribbed gently, smiling
for the first time since they’d met in the foyer of her building.

  Niki couldn’t help smiling back. ‘We learn something new every day, huh?’ she said.

  ‘Yes, my child,’ he replied in his best imitation of a schoolteacher.

  Niki let out a throaty laugh.

  She felt Sid’s eyes catch on her. ‘I owe you an explanation, Niki.’ And there it was—the start of the conversation Niki had looked forward to all day or, rather, since last night.

  She remained silent. They continued to walk side by side and, although Niki did feel Sid’s eyes on her, she didn’t look up at him. She wanted to listen dispassionately.

  ‘First, let me clarify, there is nothing between Gauri and me,’ Sid began. ‘But we were an item during our time at graduate school. From day one, actually. It was one of those love at first sight, eyes meeting across the room at orientation sort of things.’

  God, did he have to say that? Niki felt a surge of jealousy. It hadn’t been a fling; it was real.

  Sid continued, his tone very matter-of-fact, ‘We were together through graduate school and for nearly two years after.’

  ‘What happened?’ Niki had to ask.

  ‘During graduate school we were okay and even had long-term plans. Everyone thought we were a match made in heaven. But things started going south after we got our placements. We both got jobs in different cities, I in Silicon Valley and she in New York. It was bi-coastal and quite hard to keep up with geographically but we tried. The real trouble was the difference in our careers; she was on Wall Street at its peak and I was doing what I loved best—coding…’ He had left the core issues out.

  ‘I’m sure that wasn’t the problem, was it?’ Niki wanted to know more.

  ‘Yes and no. Geography put a strain on what was already falling apart. Our different career trajectories and the pace at which we grew… Wall Street being what it was took Gauri’s career quickly to stratospheric levels. She is very good at what she does, you know,’ Sid said, with a latent hint of pride.