Lost Without You

by Rachael Johns

  Paige was all ears as Josie spilled her ideas.

  ‘You’ve got plenty to play with for a theme. You could put crayons and little sketchpads on the tables and ask all your guests to draw you a picture and then you could put them all together in a book. Adult colouring-in books might be a little yesterday but you could design your own colour-in invitation and send everyone a little packet of pencils along with it. Ooh, as a wedding cake, you could have a pile of books instead of your usual tiers. Also, old books bundled together look awesome as table decorations. Or you could have a red, white and black theme to tie in with Solomon’s job. And what about arriving in a fire engine? That’d be fun, although if Solomon is into classic cars, then you could work a theme around them instead. Sorry.’ Josie paused for breath and gave Paige a sheepish look. ‘I’m getting carried away, aren’t I?’

  ‘No. No, you’re not. Can I hire you as my wedding planner?’

  Josie laughed. But Paige was dead-serious—she wanted to put this woman in a box and take her home with her. In fact she was developing a serious girl crush.

  ‘When are you getting married?’

  ‘We’ve booked the celebrant for October the thirteenth.’ There suddenly seemed a lot to organise in such a short time. Was she insane thinking they could do this? ‘But that and finding this dress is all we’ve done so far,’ she admitted self-conciously.

  Josie snapped the album shut and smiled encouragingly at Paige. ‘Don’t worry, it’ll all come together. Nik and I organised everything in a month. It’s not that hard if you know what you want.’ Josie glanced at her watch. ‘The boys will probably be wondering what we’re up to.’

  ‘Yes.’ Paige pushed herself up, which took more effort than usual thanks to the weight of the gown. ‘Can you help me with these buttons?’

  ‘Sure.’ Josie put the album down on the bed and stood. As she began the unbuttoning, she raised the logistics. ‘Do you want to take the dress today?’

  Paige frowned, she hadn’t thought any further than finding the dress. ‘Um, well, I don’t really want Solomon to see it so I can’t take it home. I guess I could take it to Mum’s, but I kind of imagined wearing it when I showed it to her.’

  ‘Yes, that does sound more dramatic,’ Josie agreed.

  Paige turned slightly to look at the other woman. ‘I know you’re already doing me a huge favour but … would you mind if I brought Mum round here to show her?’

  ‘That’s a lovely idea,’ Josie said. ‘And I guess after that you can store it at her place until the wedding. When do you want to show her? I could do Friday arvo or next weekend?’

  A week felt like an eternity away and then there was the issue of her mother’s availability. ‘Mum teaches piano all day Saturday and Friday afternoon too, I think. Could you do the evening?’

  Josie grinned. ‘Friday night works for me.’

  ‘Okay, great.’ Paige smiled her thanks and this time Josie stayed as she stripped out of the dress. It wasn’t uncomfortable changing in front of a stranger—the shared dress had bonded them—and as Paige re-dressed in her jeans, top and jacket, Josie hung the gown back up in the closet and then they went to rescue the men from awkward small talk.

  They followed the sound of laughter down the hallway to find the boys sitting side by side on the couch, drinks in hand, feet up on the coffee table as they watched the Dockers slogging it out against the Sydney Swans.

  Sol looked up and grinned at Paige. ‘Hey gorgeous. How’s the dress?’

  ‘Perfect. It’s beautiful and fits like a glove.’

  ‘Awesome.’

  Someone kicked a goal on the TV and Nik leapt up and shrieked, ‘We’re making a comeback!’

  ‘Damn.’ Sol scowled at Nik but his tone was good-natured.

  Josie caught Paige’s eye. ‘I don’t think we were missed at all.’

  ‘Doesn’t look like it and I guess I’m driving home,’ Paige replied, raising her eyebrows as she nodded towards the near-empty beer bottle in Sol’s hand. There were another four bottles on the table making her realise just how long she and Josie had been chatting.

  ‘You can’t go yet,’ Nik whined, not taking his eyes off the television. ‘Solomon and I have a bet going on which team will slaughter the other one.’

  Paige looked to the screen; the score on the bottom said it could go either way.

  ‘You a football fan?’ Josie asked.

  ‘’Faid not. I’d rather give a cat a shampoo and blow-dry.’

  Josie snorted. ‘Me too.’ And then she nodded towards the kitchen. ‘Come on, I’ll make you a cuppa.’

  ‘That sounds like a very good idea.’

  And, while their men bonded over football and beer and bantered playfully over the fluctuating scores, Josie and Paige also had a very pleasant afternoon.

  Clara

  Clara woke on Sunday morning to sun sneaking in through the gaps between the curtains and a man in her bed. A very sexy, naked gentleman who’d had her screaming his name more than once throughout the night. Okay, more than once during the many nights they’d spent together over the last couple of weeks. Gregg might dress like the middle-aged history teacher that he was, but she’d discovered that behind that façade was a funny, wild, sexual beast who had awakened something inside her as well.

  She smiled at the thought as she turned her head on the pillow to look at … What was he? Boyfriend seemed too young for two people in their early fifties. Partner had a long-term connotation and they’d barely clocked three weeks together yet. Lover sounded a little tawdry and although he most definitely filled those shoes, he’d become more to her than just a sex buddy.

  As she admired his bare chest, only lightly dotted with still-dark hair, she recalled their first night together, which felt much longer ago than it actually was.

  Barely before she’d said ‘yes’ to Gregg’s request to kiss her, their lips had converged and fireworks exploded within her. She couldn’t remember which one of them suggested it would be a good idea to move inside, but as the door shut behind them they were already ripping at each other’s clothes. Even in her youth she’d never had a one-night stand or slept with someone on a first date; there’d been too much Catholic guilt and fear of getting pregnant instilled in her during her childhood that she’d always taken her time getting to know a guy first. But getting pregnant wasn’t a concern these days and Gregg had made her feel so alive that she’d decided to throw caution to the wind.

  And it had been worth the risk.

  Getting naked with Gregg hadn’t been even a fraction of the terrifying she’d imagined it might be when she’d been thinking about taking off her clothes for some faceless, nameless man. She hadn’t worried about any of the things she’d thought she would—like her less-than-perfect thighs or whether she was too wild and woolly down there.

  There’d been no room to think with all the passion and desire pumping through her body and rushing to her head.

  And wow.

  That first night they’d emerged from her bedroom only long enough to scavenge for food and replenish their energy levels so they could go at it again like a couple of teenaged rabbits. Who’d ever imagined sex could be better in your fifties than it was in your teens, twenties, thirties or forties! To think that only a couple of weeks ago, she’d thought she could easily go without for the rest of her life. That notion seemed preposterous now. Not simply because her body hadn’t felt this good in years but because her mind and soul felt as if they had been given a new lease of life as well.

  And, she enjoyed Gregg’s company when he was fully clothed just as much as when he wasn’t. Meeting him again after all these years was almost too perfect—he was almost too perfect to be true. Handsome, genuinely nice, funny and good in bed. More than once she’d pondered the thought that something had to be wrong with him but so far, aside from the fact he slept on his back and snored a little, nothing had surfaced. And so she resolved to stop overthinking things, to stop making mountains where there we
ren’t even molehills and to simply enjoy their time together.

  ‘Good morning.’ Gregg looked up at her and she blushed a little at being caught in the act of staring.

  ‘Hi,’ she whispered.

  ‘Hi yourself.’ He reached out and pulled her into his arms. ‘How long have you been awake?’

  Clara snuggled into his warm, broad chest, thinking if she died right here right now, she’d die a happy woman. ‘Not long.’

  ‘You’re not worried about lunch today, are you?’

  She blinked, taking a second to realise what he was talking about. Today was the day she’d finally agreed to unleash her sisters onto him; they’d been pestering her for the last two weeks. It was the monthly Brennan get-together—to be held at Bridget’s house because it also happened to coincide with a significant birthday for Ranaldo—and Gregg had jumped at the chance when she’d nervously asked him if he wanted to come and meet her family.

  ‘If anyone should be worried, it’s me,’ he said with a chuckle. ‘I might not pass the sister test.’

  ‘You’ll pass with flying colours.’ Now that he’d reminded her of the occasion, if she was a little nervous it wasn’t because she was worried about her family not liking Gregg but more because she hoped he’d like them. Meeting the whole Brennan clan at once might be a little overwhelming and they could be intense. Maybe this would be Gregg’s imperfection—maybe he wouldn’t like her family and, as much as they drove her crazy sometimes, she couldn’t imagine a future with anyone who didn’t feel comfortable with the important role they played in her life.

  ‘Good.’ He kissed her on the forehead. ‘Now, shall I make us some coffee?’

  Was there anything sexier a man could ask at this time of the morning?

  ‘Sounds perfect,’ she said and then reluctantly rolled out of his embrace to get the day started.

  Shadow, who had been sleeping on the floor by their feet, roused as they climbed out of bed and immediately hurried over to her. As she bent down to scratch the fur behind his ears, his tail shook furiously.

  ‘I may as well not exist anymore,’ Gregg said as he located his pants and tugged them on.

  She shrugged and offered him a what-can-I-do smile and he shook his head and smiled back. She’d met Shadow the day after their first date and he’d immediately taken a shine to her. Now whenever Gregg stayed over so did his dog and although he pretended to be offended by the pup’s transfer of affection, she suspected him secretly pleased that she and Shadow had become firm friends.

  Once they were both dressed and caffeinated, Gregg hitched Shadow to his leash and the three of them set off for a walk up to and around Centennial Park. It was a beautiful day for August and plenty of people were out jogging, riding bikes and walking dogs. When Shadow finally began to tire, they walked back past the local deli and bought The Sun-Herald, which they read later while sitting at her kitchen table eating fresh croissants. The whole morning was pretty much the definition of perfection and when the time came to shower and get ready to go to her sister’s, they did so together like a couple of teens who had just discovered the benefits of saving water.

  Siobhan and Neil were getting out of their car when Clara and Gregg arrived at Bridget and Ranaldo’s place in Manly.

  ‘Ooh, you’re even better looking in person than you are in your online photo,’ were the first words to come out of her sister’s mouth when Clara introduced her to Gregg.

  ‘Why, thank you.’ Gregg kissed Siobhan on the cheek. ‘It’s a pleasure to meet you.’

  Clara glared at her sister—she’d told them all to be on their best behaviour and here was Siobhan falling at the first hurdle. Neil shrugged an apology for his wife and then offered his hand to Gregg. Introductions were exchanged as the four of them headed inside. The door was open and the noise coming from the backyard told them that’s where the family was congregated.

  ‘Wow, this is impressive,’ Gregg whispered to Clara as they emerged onto the massive back balcony that overlooked Fairy Bower.

  ‘I know. Both Ranaldo and Bridget work in computers and they created an app or something together a couple of years ago that made them instant millionaires. They bought this house outright.’

  They had about five seconds to survey the scenery before all eyes turned to them.

  Bridget crossed over from where she’d been barking orders at the birthday boy by the barbeque—although ‘barbeque’ didn’t seem adequate enough for what was essentially a whole outdoor kitchen. She and Ranaldo had embraced the outside cooking experience and thanks to gas heaters in each corner of the balcony and expensive blinds that could shield them from the rain and wind, they ate out almost all year round.

  ‘Why hello,’ she said, grinning ridiculously and being not at all surreptitious in her head-to-toe perusal of Gregg. ‘You must be Clara’s new man.’

  ‘His name’s Gregg,’ Clara said. ‘Gregg Callen. And Gregg, this is my youngest sister, Bridget. Her husband, Ranaldo, is over there in the apron.’

  ‘We thought we’d make the most of this lovely almost-spring-like weather and have a barbeque,’ Bridget explained, then leant forward and wrapped her arms around Gregg. ‘Welcome to the family. It’s lovely to have you celebrating with us all today. We’re so happy Clara’s finally found someone. She’s such a kind, caring, wonderful person and she deserves happiness after her most unfortunate marriage.’

  And you can stop talking now, Clara silently willed her sister. She glanced around, hoping that someone else would come and save the day. Fiona caught her eye and stepped up to the plate.

  ‘Did you say Callen?’ Fiona said, offering Gregg her hand. ‘Clarabel Callen, doesn’t that have a nice ring to it?’

  Oh my God. She should have known she couldn’t rely on foot-in-her-mouth Fiona. Her sisters were crazy. They weren’t even done with the introductions and already she wanted to murder most of them. Besides, after her last experience, she was in no rush to marry anyone.

  Although Clara felt her cheeks turn a dark shade of red at her sister’s words, Gregg didn’t seem fazed.

  ‘Yes, it does, doesn’t it? And which one are you?’

  ‘I’m Fiona, and this is my husband Troy.’

  By this time, everyone was closing in, crowding around them like they were some rare exhibit in the zoo. Clara suddenly understood how her nieces and nephews felt whenever they introduced a new love interest and she hoped one of them might have some scandalous news to take the heat off her and Gregg.

  ‘Mr Callen?’ Aoifa squealed. ‘Oh my God! Do you remember me? You taught me year twelve history. You were my favourite teacher by far.’

  Gregg chuckled as recognition filled his face. ‘Aoifa Sanderson. Look at you. What are you up to now?’

  ‘I’m working at a travel agent part-time,’ she said, ‘and studying psychology at uni, but I’m not really sure what I want to do with my life.’

  ‘You’ve got plenty of time,’ Gregg said, and Clara thought it was lucky he said that to one of Siobhan’s offspring, not Fiona’s.

  ‘This is my boyfriend, Xavier, Mr Callen.’

  As the two men shook hands, Gregg said, ‘You’re out of school now, call me Gregg.’

  The introductions continued and thankfully no one said anything else too mortifying, then Bridget did her hostess-with-the-mostess duties and made sure Clara and Gregg had drinks. Then, while Gregg got chatting to Aoifa and Xavier, Clara’s sisters spirited her away to the kitchen and began their assessment.

  ‘I like him,’ said Aideen.

  The others quickly agreed.

  Clara glowed. ‘He is pretty fantastic.’

  ‘Definitely an improvement on the last one,’ Fiona remarked.

  ‘Yes, he is,’ she agreed, still smiling. Her sisters followed her gaze to where Gregg was still chatting away to Aoifa and Xavier, although a few of her brothers-in-law had now joined in as well.

  After a while Bridget went off to hurry Ranaldo on the barbeque and Clara’s other siste
rs started fiddling with fancy side dishes in the kitchen. As her culinary skills weren’t needed, she went back to Gregg.

  ‘How you doing?’ she whispered as she slid her arm around his waist.

  ‘Great. Your family are fantastic.’

  When Aoifa and Xavier were dragged off by some of the younger cousins and the brothers-in-law were summoned to help carry plates and food, Gregg said, ‘Aoifa was telling me about a short comedy cruise that leaves Sydney and goes up the coast and back. As well as comedy shows on board, there’s a workshop you can do with a stand-up comic.’

  ‘That sounds right up your alley,’ Clara said. She’d never been much of a comedy fan but Gregg had introduced her to a couple of his favourite comics on Netflix. She’d never laughed more in her life than in the last few weeks.

  ‘She said there’s still tickets for the cruise that leaves in just over a week and they’re on sale.’ He paused a moment, then, ‘I was wondering if you’d like to go on it with me. My shout, if you can get the time off work at such short notice.’

  ‘You think you can?’

  He nodded. ‘Yeah, it’s only four days and two are over the weekend, so it shouldn’t be a problem.’

  Clara pondered the possibility. Going on holiday with Gregg, spending twenty-four hours a day together, would either make her fall even more head over heels or by the end of the four days she’d want to throw him overboard. But everything about her relationship with him had been a whirlwind and wasn’t this supposed to be her year of grabbing life by the balls?

  She grinned. ‘Okay. Why not? I’d love to.’

  ‘Excellent.’ He pulled her close and sealed the deal with a kiss.

  One of her brothers-in-law wolf-whistled and another shouted ‘Get a room!’ but Clara couldn’t bring herself to be even a teeny bit embarrassed at their public display of affection. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this happy.

  ‘Well, that was a success,’ Gregg said, caressing the steering wheel as he turned out of Bridget’s street. ‘Your family like me so much they’re already marrying us off.’