Ashley began to open her mouth, but before she could speak, Nick leaned in and kissed her. She lurched back, slightly put off. He tried to slip his tongue into her mouth, but she kept her lips locked together. His lips felt warm on hers, comfortable and soft. She finally gave in and puckered her lips, pressing them hard against his for a brief moment.
The kiss made Ashley feel tingly. She smiled and then tried to suppress it, but was too excited.
Nick pulled away from her, beaming.
"Not bad for yah first kiss. Loosen up next time and you'll really enjoy it. Try frenching."
He tried to pull Ashley in for another kiss, but she wiggled away, meekly excusing herself.
"I – I have to find Lucy."
I kissed a boy. . .I kissed a boy. . . .
The thought made Ashley dizzy. She slipped between the teenagers who were clumped together in little cliques all over the house, searching the downstairs for Lucy. She didn't see her and felt a nagging itch in her bladder. She began to open up random doors, looking for a bathroom.
It took three tries to find one that wasn't occupied.
Ashley ducked inside the bathroom and relieved herself. She was still glowing from the kiss but felt embarrassed by it.
I shouldn't have let him do that. Not without telling him about me first. He'd be angry.
Ashley glanced at her reflection in the mirror. She looked pretty, better than she'd ever looked before. The mascara was perfect. She leaned forward, closer to the glass, to try to see exactly what Lucy had done to her eyes to make them so beautiful.
Suddenly, Ashley felt a wave of vertigo wash over her. She gagged on dry air and tilted her head down, leaning against the sink, trying to stifle the abrupt nausea. An irresistible urge to throw up crept its way up her throat. She began to dry heave and turned on the faucet to mask the noise.
A stream of red spiders poured out of Ashley's open mouth. They tried to scurry up the sides of the sink, but were caught by the water, and swirled down the drain.
Ashley trembled.
"Iende yakuu-we divara hai. Akamaz iende yahgool se. Iende Qualkhoikhom, iende Ashna, iende Jezna mate es son!"
Ashley blinked, slowly regaining her wits. She stared at her reflection and could feel that her eyes had just rolled back into place.
The sink was empty; the water still running.
Ashley's left hand was cupping her right breast tightly, and her right hand was down the front of her jeans, clutching a throbbing erection.
She had been masturbating.
Mortified, she grabbed a bar of soap and used it to scour her hands raw.
6.
-Bhantu-
(Rage)
Ashley glanced down at a sheet of stickers. She had found them in one of her dresser drawers. Kayla had put them there when she was locked away, and had long ago forgotten about them. They were intended for a little girl: glittery hearts, hologram butterflies, iridescent daffodils.
She pulled a heart sticker off the sheet and stuck it to the inside wall of her locker. Her locker was bare - just four, tan, metal walls - and she wanted to make it her own.
The other stickers looked too childish, so Ashley put them away and began to take out a few books and load them into her schoolbag. Her bra itched as she bent down. She had worn an actual bra today. It was her first time wearing one. Doris had bought it without sizing her, and it was too small. It strangled her chest and creaked like it was going to snap anytime she moved. What bothered her most was the heat. The fabric didn't breathe, so a layer of perspiration beaded up under it, making her feel sweaty and disgusting.
Suddenly, the hair on the back of Ashley's neck stood erect. She could hear the deep, panting breaths of a bhantu lumbering towards her. She spun around, and found herself face-to-face with Nick.
Nick looked like he had been mauled by a wild animal. His cheeks and arms were lined with fresh bhantu scratches. Ashley could sense the creature standing just behind him, still cutting into him. It was invisible - even to her - unseen swiping claws, gnashing teeth, and heavy, labored breathing.
Nick glanced down either side of the hallway to see if anyone was watching him. He seemed paranoid. A few students were in view, but were preoccupied, unloading their lockers.
"You lied to me," he seethed, inching closer to Ashley. He was irate but whispering. "You're a dude."
Ashley blanched. She thought she might pass out. The bhantu continued to dig into Nick's flesh, goading his anger.
"You're a fucking guy!"
Kayla? Did Kayla tell him?
"I -I." Ashley didn't know what to say. She dropped her school bag and backed up.
The bhantu dug its fangs into Nick's spine. He thrust his arm forward into Ashley's chest, pinning her against her locker.
"If you tell anyone that I kissed you, I will kill you!"
Ashley grabbed his arm to try to get him to let go. He removed it from her chest and she began to slink away.
"I'm not gay!" Nick was still livid, but didn't want to attract any more attention. He kept a hushed tone. "You tricked me!"
"I'm sorry," Ashley whimpered. She was about to apologize again when she fixated on the bhantu behind Nick. It continued to fuse with him, becoming one with him.
The sight awoke Ashley's bottled up rage. She hated bhantus - hated them - more than any other creature. More than khlathus, even. They were the creatures that had caused her endless pain. They were what made everyone at the Youth Center attack and torment her.
"You're a freak!"
Ashley had been called that many times, but coming from Nick, it hurt more than ever. That was the last straw. As the insult soaked in, a bhantu dug its nails into Ashley's skin. Its claws were hollow; long needles that infused her with its rage. Her face grew hot. Blood boiling.
I won't let him push me around like this! Not like Duncan!
"Stay away from me." Nick wagged a finger in her face. "Whatever you think you are - stay away from me. Got that? Faggot!"
"TIAN ASHNA!" Ashley shrieked. Her shrill scream echoed down the hallway. Everyone turned to stare. She slapped Nick across the face, gouging his cheek with her fingernails, "ENDI COUNDUITA QUALKHOIKHOM!"
Nick's bhantu fled immediately. He was speechless. He dumbly clutched his cheek and then stared at his hand. It was dabbed with blood.
"You're psycho."
Ashley backed away and closed her eyes, focusing on her breathing. She slowed it to a gentle rhythm and cleared her head. Her bhantu evaporated with her anger.
"What's going on?" A teacher stormed out of his classroom.
Ashley grabbed her schoolbag and ran down the hallway, towards the front entrance and her waiting school bus. Tears flooded her eyes. She tried to will them back, but couldn't. She spent most of the ride home huddled into her seat, hiding her face, silently sobbing.
Once Ashley got home, she rushed upstairs and jumped into bed. She had been outed, and was sure that within a day or two, everyone at school would know. Even worse, she had given in to the beast. She had never let a bhantu take control of her - even at the Youth Center - and she had never attacked anyone.
"Tian Ashna, endi counduita Qualhkoikhom. Tian Ashna, endi counduita Qualkhoikhom."
Ashley mumbled the words to herself. She had no idea why she had screamed them at Nick. She didn't know what they meant, but felt an urge to repeat them, over and over.
"Tian Ashna, endi counduita Qualhkoikhom. Tian Ashna, endi counduita Qualkhoikhom."
I am Ashna. . .final conduit of Qualkhoikhom. . . .
After a few minutes, Kayla walked into the bedroom. She casually unshouldered her school bag and dropped it onto the floor. She then began to dig through her dresser.
"You told Nick about me, didn't you?" Ashley sat up in bed. Her face was now beet red. "How - how could you do that to me? Why? Why would you do that?"
Kayla's eyes flashed, guilty. It looked like she was going to deny it, but she hardened her stare.
"You should hav
e told him you were a guy before he kissed you. You lied to him. He's confused and humiliated."
"I'm humiliated! You outed me! Everyone is going to know! Why did you do that? Why!"
Kayla scowled. She reached under her bed and snatched a piece of paper out from under it. She held it up for Ashley to see, jiggling it in front of her face, like it was her death warrant.
"Why did you draw this and put it under my bed? Is this supposed to be some kind of voodoo like the cat you brought in here? And is that blood around it? Are you trying to put a spell on me?"
Ashley went silent, staring blankly at her zodiac hex. Her eyes were drawn to the circle of dried blood. It had changed color to a rusty orange.
"Are you and that creepy lesbo Lucy Dawes doing black magic?" Kayla continued. "What is this? Why did you draw it?"
"I was trying to protect you."
Kayla tore the paper up, tossing the bits into the air. They slowly fluttered back down to the carpet.
Ronald crested the stairwell and loomed in the doorway. He looked exhausted and was still dressed for work, wearing a mud-spattered tee shirt and yellow boots.
"What is all this hollering about? Why are you fighting?" He glanced down at the strips of paper. "What's with this mess on the carpet?"
"Ashley's trying black magic on me," Kayla spat.
"Kayla outed me! The whole school is going to know I'm a boy! She outed me on purpose!"
"She kissed Nick Mancini." Kayla looked up at Ronald with a babyish pout. "She kissed a boy and didn't tell him she's not a real girl. He's so embarrassed."
Ronald glared at Ashley. "Is that what happened?"
Ashley wilted. Ronald always made her feel extremely submissive.
"Yes. But he kissed-"
"You shouldn't be kissing boys without telling them what you are. And for the sake of your soul, you shouldn't be kissing boys at all. God made you a man and wants you to live like one. Dressing like a girl is like telling everyone a lie. It's best that everyone in school knows what you are, so you're not lying to anyone. And black magic is the work of Satan. Pure evil, understand? Don't ever practice that stuff in this house. This is a Christian home."
Ashley couldn't bring herself to say anything. She curled up in bed, withdrawing under her covers.
Kayla followed Ronald downstairs, leaving her alone to sulk.
She didn't budge from bed all night.
Doris eventually came upstairs with a small plate of leftovers. She put them by Ashley's bedside and took Ashley's hand, holding it while rubbing her back.
"Kayla outed me."
"Ronald told me," Doris said softly. "It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you. Be yourself, Ashley, like you've always been. I've seen how much it hurts you to be forced to be something you're not. You're beautiful as you are, honey. Just be you."
I hate me.
"But why would Kayla tell him? She knew that would ruin my life. She wanted to hurt me. She did it on purpose."
"Kayla doesn't want to hurt you. She did what she thought was right. She's friends with that boy. I don't think it was right, but it's done now. Kayla doesn't hate you."
Ashley buried her head deeper into her pillow. The next day at school was going to be hell. Thinking about it made her want to die. Tears streamed down her cheeks and soaked her bed sheet.
Doris continued to stroke her back for a few minutes and then stood.
"Did it feel good? Your first kiss? Did you like it?"
"I didn't want to kiss him. He'd been drinking. He kissed me." Ashley rolled over. "It – it felt okay. . .I guess. . .wet."
"Well, good for you." Doris smiled. "Good for you."
Ashley fell asleep after Doris left. That night she didn't dream. She woke up very late, barely opening her eyes.
Qualkhoikhom had come to her.
This time he was very, very powerful. She began to seize, flopping around on her bed like a beached fish.
Kayla was sleeping across from her. Ashley's convulsions soon woke her up, and she rushed over to her.
"Ashley!" Kayla grabbed her limbs, trying to hold her still, "MOM! DAD! Ashley's having a seizure!"
Ashley wanted to scream for Kayla to stay away. It was of no use. She was paralyzed. She couldn't speak or move.
Qualkhoikhom burst through and everything turned to liquid.
Ashley was now naked and underwater. Her eyes burned. The water was salty. Brackish. She was unsure which way was up, so she let a few bubbles of air trickle out of her lips and then followed them up to the surface.
She gasped for air. She was treading in a dark sea. It was pouring rain. The sky and water blended together in the darkness. A violent wind roared over the water and a high wave broke right on top of Ashley, dragging her under.
She clawed her way back up toward the dark sky. The water's surface was frothy, and when she tried to take a breath, she choked on the foam. The cool of the sea began to soak through her skin. Both it and the rain were very cold. Freezing.
"Ashley! Ashley!"
Ashley heard a faint voice and instantly recognized it as Kayla's. She spun around, scanning the darkness in every direction.
"KAYLA! Swim towards my voice! Don't stop shouting! Swim to me! SWIM HERE!"
There was a faint response. It was garbled, quickly drowned out by the crash of the waves and the drum of the rain.
Ashley swam at full speed towards the voice, calling out for Kayla, constantly. She tried to keep her head above water so she could hear any response, but a wave broke overhead, momentarily burying her.
"Ashley!"
Once Ashley resurfaced, she could see a dark shape bobbing in the water, just a few feet ahead. Her arms and legs ached from the cold. She fought on, kicking her way forward in a sloppy dog paddle, until it felt like her feet were going to snap off.
The shape ahead was Kayla, and she was swimming to Ashley.
The two met and hugged each other.
"Where are we? What happened to us?" Kayla cried hysterically, shivering. "What happened!"
"It's okay," Ashley gasped. She was exhausted and didn't know how to hold onto her sister while keeping herself afloat. "Do not let go of me! DON'T LET GO!"
Kayla hugged Ashley tighter. Ashley tried to tread for both of them, but began to sink under water. Her lungs cried out for air, but she kept herself submerged, fighting to keep Kayla afloat. Soon, the cold sapped her of her last drop of adrenaline. She inhaled a trickle of water and began to drown.
Both girls immediately woke up in their bedroom.
A deluge of seawater cascaded down from the ceiling, soaking everything with the sound of a hailstorm.
Kayla was still shaking. She began to sob.
Ronald threw the door open.
"What happened here?" He bellowed, scanning the dark bedroom. Everything inside was completely soaked. The carpet squished under his feet.
"Dad!" Kayla squealed. She rushed over to him. "I was drowning! We were drowning! We were in the ocean!"
Ronald hugged her. "What in the hell happened? Why is everything wet? What's going on?"
"It was Ashley!" Kayla bawled. "She - she put something under my bed! She put a spell on me! She took us to the ocean!"
Ronald's face went flush. He nudged Kayla aside and pounced on Ashley.
Ashley was still in a daze. He shook her violently.
"What did you do? What did you do?!"
Slowly, Ashley broke out of her trance. She stared at Ronald and could immediately tell that a bhantu had taken hold of him. Its claws poked out of his shoulder blades. She could hear its guttural breathing; it was louder than his shouting.
"What did you do to Kayla?" He shook Ashley even harder and then slapped her across the face. "What did you do? What is this? Answer me!"
"Ronald! Stop!" Doris barked, rushing into the bedroom. Her hands were full of prescription bottles. Ashley's various medications. Kayla dove toward her, clinging to her belly.
"We were in the ocean! Ashley
took us to the ocean! She cast a spell on us!"
"How did you do this?" Ronald screamed the words into Ashley's face. He grabbed her throat and clamped down on it. "Why are you doing this to us? Why did you let loose that cat? Are you possessed? Is there something evil inside of you?"
Ronald's bhantu was terrifying. Ashley was certain it was going to kill her. It was so much larger and stronger than the others. She tried to say something, but his hand tightened around her throat. Her eyelids fluttered, and she began to mumble in just a whisper.
The Book of the Nine Ides Page 6
